Author's notes:

Anyone know Daniel Henney? He's my real life example of Kurogane (sans red eyes and fiery personality of the manga man Kurogane) but still devastatingly hot anyway. As for the real life example of Fay…I think I haven't seen anyone who fits the Fay that exists in the figments of my imagination. Well, if you guys found a real life person who's close, let me know…just for curiosity's sake.

Please don't misunderstand and take the contents of the poem to be of the chapter itself. The poem was just something extra I wanted to add in. They are mostly in Fay's POV and there will be one for the start of every chapter.

The chapters might be long-winded for some of you readers out there but I want to play with the dynamism the characters have with each other, so bear with me a little. I promise there will be Kuro Fay action somewhere down the road…

I am standing in the rain waiting

Waiting for it to pour life onto me

I am too much like the walking dead

The screams in my head they never stop

You don't know how they haunt me

I'm so twisted inside there's no escape for me

My face found only in ashes, fails to hide from you

Naked and exposed

I just want to sleep and dream forever

Because if awake, I might fall and lose myself

And it seems, the world isn't so real after all

Blinded by the walls around

Will your love see me through?

As we lay in silence, I wish I had your strength

In the depths of your soul, there's a place for me

So hold on and be at peace

I'm coming and in dreams, we'll meet

- Cattyfuzzy

The Continuality of Existence

Chapter 2

The blazing sun shone down on the farming plains of Mississippi. The sweltering heat forced most of its residents back into their homes, seeking respite from the coolness within. The quiet of the town in the peak of summer was only intruded occasionally by the groups of teenagers visiting the grocer for their mandatory pop of soda.

The boy remained seated outside the local deli, undaunted by the oppressing heat. His blond hair soaked with sweat plastered stubbornly against his temple and forehead. He observed the carefree youths walking pass, envying their blissful ignorance and the felicity radiating from them. He licked his lips as if wanting to taste that feeling of happiness. Something he had not felt for a long time. He glanced at the clock hanging on the decrepitated wall, the paint yellowed and peeling. He thinks the condition of his soul is similar to it, eroding from within by the act of sin that man had committed towards him. He took another sip from the glass of vanilla soda. He had a few more hours to go before his mother ends her shift. He was reluctant to go back where his nightmare will be waiting for him; no doubt that man would be angered. He was expected back home hours ago.

He remembered the first time when he told his mother what happened. Her searing words of denial and tears brought guilt to him, he wasn't sure why he should be the guilty one when he hadn't ask for such things to befall him. He remembered how she sat by the table, rivulets of hot tears running down her face and murmuring with her head tilted towards the ceiling, asking God if her son had turned out to be a queer and why would he make up such heinous lies about his own father. As if heaven was a piece of wall paper imprinted to the ceiling. He might have found the whole scene amusing if not for the severity of the situation. Hurt by her refusal to believe him, he kept his silence until the second time it happened.

He went to her again with the bruises still fresh and visible. She slapped him hard than, shouting at him, proclaiming him a slut and warned him against saying all those nonsense. She wouldn't want the neighbors to be talking. He stared at her unmoved by her outburst. It was the first time she laid hands on him and it heralded the many that was to come. But he had caught her eyes when her hand came up and he realized…she knew. Sickened by the knowledge, he spitted at her crying out his rage…screaming that he hated her before running off. He didn't realize that his mother was only one woman against the cold world she existed in, a woman who needed a man to right her world because she wasn't strong enough to stand against it…

"Daniel!" Kurogane's voice called out again. Fay blinked as he turned away from the window, caught up in reliving his memories, he almost couldn't hear him.

"Oh…yes?"

"Dinner's ready." Kurogane replied still irked by the man's ability to shut off from the world even when wide awake.

Fay stood up soundlessly, wrapping the shawl tighter around him. The temperature had dropped drastically since it started raining, not having prepared any kind of warm clothing Fay made do with the thin cotton shawl he found lying in one of the drawers, the smell of moth balls still vaguely clinging to it.

"Are you alright with Japanese food?" Kurogane asked as he eyed the olive green shawl Fay had draped over him.

"I'm not a fussy eater, Kuro-san."

"Ahmm…It's Kurogane."

"I know." Fay answered as he walked towards Sakura, greeting her with a smile.

Sakura stuffed another spoonful of rice into her mouth, her eyes thoroughly distracted by the blond man infront of her. It wasn't that she had not seen a foreigner before but he was simply breathtaking. Unlike the blond models she had seen in fashion magazines, he had a delicate and an innocent alluring look. His light golden blond hair framing his heart-shaped face, sway with the slightest movement of his head. His sky-blue eyes, bright with spackles of grey around his iris, expressed a soulful and haunted look that saddens her. She wonders what had happened to him. No one should look that sad.

Dinner was pleasant enough with Sakura trying to pick up conversations with Fay, her halting attempts on speaking English seemed to amuse Fay. He kept trying to correct Sakura's pronunciation only giving up when he realized it was the same when he tried speaking in Japanese. She was pleasant enough company unlike Kurogane who seemed rather cold at times.

"So, your parents are fine with you being overseas for such a long period of time?" Sakura asks innocently, unaware yet of Fay's sordid past.

"My parents…they are…no longer around." Fay replied, his voice almost a whisper.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Fay-san."

"It's fine." Fay answered and tried smiling at her again to ease her discomfort on stepping on such a sensitive subject. Somehow, Fay was surprised Kurogane had told her nothing and this is how it should be Fay thought. This is what it means to start a clean slate of life. You become a stranger to yourself; deceitful, a hollow shell stuffed with ready made fiction of a life which isn't really part of your memory…

Kurogane raised his chopsticks for another piece of the tempura as he felt goose bumps rising along the curve of his neck. While it was good to see the man smiling, he had never felt more bothered about some else's smile. Every smile he gave was empty, much like a glass doll whose expression was etched only to reflect what the maker wants. None of the emotions on their faces are real.

"Tsk…" he grunted irritably as he swallowed his food. Maybe he should head out tonight seeing that his guest prefers time alone "Sakura do you need a ride back home? I'm meeting someone later."

"Oh, it's fine. Syaoran will be picking me up tonight." Sakura answered with a smile.

"I'll go prepare myself first than." He said as he got up from his seat and headed to the bathroom.

"Are you meeting Yuuko san later?" Sakura asked as she craned her head. Her sight following Kurogane's retreating figure down the hallway.

"If she's there." He answered casually.

Sakura looked at Fay and shrugged her shoulders.

"Yuuko san is his pseudo girl-friend." Sakura tried to explain. Fay frown gently, trying to make out the words she was saying. Sakura gave a little laugh and decided that the information probably won't matter much to Fay. She shook her head and continued clearing the dishes from the table.

ooooooooooooooooooooooo

Kurogane scanned the bar from the club's entrance and spotted the person he was looking for straight away. Her long glossy black hair and flamboyant style not easily missed. He sauntered up to her from behind, admiring those curves that always manage to heat up his loins. She is a beautiful woman, classy and elegant. Her sharp pointed features and piercing eyes, dark as midnight would never allow anyone to forget once they met her. Of course, there is also her obsession for dresses with an impressive décolletage. When they met, she was just like any other client he has. What struck a lasting impression was her intelligence and her belief that she is equal to nobody but herself. Such pride and confidence are qualities rarely found in the average women. While most men would perceive her as overbearing and arrogant, Kurogane saw another side of her. She wasn't trying to be outstanding; she only honed herself to be fit for the world she lived in.

Their second meeting triggered a faint attraction between them. They seem to find themselves in each other, not in a romantic way but they saw characteristic of each other reflected within. Long conversations lead to meetings at the club they now frequent for their occasional rendezvous and than subsequently, to sex. He couldn't remember who proffered it first, there wasn't much difference now considering. But he wonders why Yuuko still has not got herself attached, it wasn't like she was lacking in suitors. Surely their kind of relationship won't last her forever. Is he being a selfish bastard than for continuing this…thing? Was he preventing her from leading a fulfilling life? 'Give it a rest…you're out for a good time. Not to philosophize about life or this ambiguous thing between you guys. She didn't object to it…stop giving yourself such a hard time. Enjoy the night while it's still young.' Kurogane thought and relaxed his face immediately, soaking in the highly charged sexual tension in the air radiating off the people dancing around him.

"Hey…" Kurogane greeted as he nuzzled Yuuko's neck "How long have you been here?"

"Long enough." Yuuko replied cryptically as she blew out a puff of that acrid smelling smoke and gulped down another shot whisky.

"Had a bad day I assume." Kurogane stated instead of asking, easily reading her moods and body language after knowing her for so long.

"If you put it that way…"

"Care to share with me on what happened?"

"Nothing, just some crazy bastard who thinks he's smart enough to backstab me without my knowledge." She replied, her voice carrying just the barest hint of anger. She turned her head to face Kurogane, the sight of the man always managed to set her nerves straight. She didn't know how or when but slowly and surely, she found herself more and more dependent on his quiet strength and the warmth of his body against her. She will never tell him that though. She knows very well he is not looking for love in her. Even if he is, he would never fit into her world.

"What about you? How's that mysterious guest of yours doing?"

"How did you know? I haven't told you anything yet."

"You forgot for a moment who I am. Information comes to me whether I ask for it or not."

"He's ok…seems like a decent guy."

"So it's no longer convenient to head to your place than?" she asks feeling a little disappointed inside. While they officially weren't a couple, it was still nice to pretend that she was his one and only. She sighed inwardly, resenting the fact that she allowed herself to feel like a teenager at her age.

"It's ok. He's a man. Surely he understands that we have our needs too." Kurogane replied as he placed his order with the bartender.

"You have absolutely no respect for other's privacy." Yuuko said as a flash of mischief flashed across her eyes.

"Hn…it's the pot calling the kettle black." Kurogane replied with a smirk as he pulled Yuuko into his arms once more.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Fay woke up to the sound of shuffling footsteps and giggles that sounded distinctly like a woman's. It must be the girlfriend Sakura was trying to tell him. He twisted in bed and tried to go back to sleep but even in his bedroom, he felt prickly and strung up. He shouldn't be here listening to what they do next. The thought of a sexual act happening so close unhinges him. He continued listening as they headed to the bedroom, the rustling and shedding off of clothes magnifying themselves in his ears.

He felt his temperature raise and an uncomfortable tightness started in his chest, making it difficult to breathe. He dashed out of his bedroom and the apartment when he heard the woman moan loudly. The sound reminded him of a man's grunts against his ear so many years ago, the rest of the memories he had no courage to face them right now. He didn't want to think of rough skin chafing against his or…he stopped his momentum of thoughts as he bent over the railing in the stairwell and puked. He stopped for a moment to calm his heaving stomach and stared at the remains of his dinner splattered on the cement floor in disgust. 'Why am I still so weak?' he asked himself before continuing down the stairs.

oooooooooooooooooooooooo

Kurogane stopped what he was doing immediately when he heard Manju barked. The sound of the front door banging against the wall alerted and sobered him in an instant.

"What was that?" He murmured as he drew his pants up and opened his bedroom door. Manju was sitting at the genkan in the dark barking towards an empty corridor. He turned his head and his blood turned cold when he saw the empty bed of Fay's room.

"Shit…Daniel's gone!" he said, voice raising a few decibels as anger and fear settled in at the same moment. He ran back into his bedroom and grabbed his jacket before tearing down the corridor and than turned the fire exit when he saw the lift hadn't moved at all.

Yuuko sat in the bedroom calmly adjusting her dress as she watched Kurogane speed off into the darkness. It was odd to see him so flustered over a stranger. He doesn't even raise a hackle in the most trying of times and to see him actually get into a panic over a grown man who just stepped out of the house for whatever reasons…

Now that troubled her. Without a word, she grabbed her handbag and left the apartment.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Kurogane dashed down the steps as he berated himself at the same time. When did he get so obtuse? He should know better than to do things like that! 'Great! I can't even have sex peacefully now!' he thought grudgingly as he exited the building. He stopped by the security guard and asked if he had seen a foreigner ran past.

"Oh yes sir! I saw him running down the street and I was trying to give him my umbr…" the security guard stopped speaking when Kurogane just turned and raced down the slick wet street with the rain still pelting down.

Kurogane let out a breath of relief inwardly when he spotted Fay sitting at the bus-stop two blocks away. He approached the man with quick and heavy steps trying hard not to slip on the wet pavement.

"What the hell were you thinking running out just like that?" he shouted, unmoved by the slim silhouette sitting infront of the billboard, eyes still red from crying and body shivering from the incessant cold "are you daft? Kurogane shouted again.

Fay lowered his face and stood up with his arms wrapped around himself.

"I'm sorry."

"I don't need your sorry! Just be careful for God's sake!" Kurogane was still shouting, not understanding himself on why was he so mad about exactly. 'Maybe because you're the indirect cause of his tears?' the thought ran by Kurogane as he saw Fay flinched a bit from his outburst and tried to rein in his temper.

"Look…" he took a deep breathe and brush back the wet locks of hair from his eyes "if you're uncomfortable about something I'm doing. It will be appreciated if you could just tell me instead of running off like some adolescent."

"…"

Fay didn't answer and kept his gaze on Kurogane's red stormy ones; darken by anger, his gaze hard and cutting at the edges of Fay's mental strain. Images of his mother raising her hand repeating, raining down slaps on him came unbidden. He tried to shrink away backing onto a small pile of rubbish left by a group of inconsiderate youths. His senses and consciousness so conquered by his horrifying flashbacks he didn't feel the piece of broken glass cutting into the sole of his foot. Kurogane moved forward when he saw Fay backing away looking like he was ready to bolt again.

"I can't believe this…" Kurogane muttered again when he saw the blood flowing out from Fay's feet "could you stop with the drama? You're bleeding, can't you feel it?" he asked, voice a little more calm when he saw that Fay was only trying to retreat from his anger. He stopped every single motion of his body when he looked more carefully at Fay. His eyes had gone vacant, the worst thing was, he wasn't even looking at him even though he was standing directly infront of him.

Kurogane felt the goose bumps returned again.

He advanced slowly towards Fay and closed his hands firmly around those skinny arms; the blond man was freezing cold. He took off his jacket and attempted to wrap it around Fay's shoulders realizing belatedly that that jacket was already soaked…he hoped at least there was still some traces of his body warmth left.

"Fay…Fay!" He called out firmly as he shook the blond man hard. That action seemed to bring Fay out of his self-induced trance a little.

"Let go of me…it hurts." Fay said softly as he pushed against Kurogane's chest.

"Your feet…it's bleeding."

"It's ok…I'll be ok."

"Look, I don't understand what you're going through alright. But it's very obvious that you're not ok. So stop with the 'nothing's killing me from the inside' act."

"It's none of your business." Fay spit back, his voice full of bitterness. It was disturbing how perceptive the man can be at times like this. He struggled against Kurogane's steel like grip and freed himself sure that he will have bruises showing up tomorrow.

"It's like that isn't it? Well…yeah…walk away. See if I care!" Kurogane gritted his teeth, his words coming out in a hiss as he shoved his face infront of Fay's, eyes narrowed and blinking away the water running down his face. Fay did not deign to answer him. He had a bad enough night as it is and he was hurting from the cut though he tried his best not to show it. He turned away from Kurogane and started limping away in the opposite direction.

Defeated by his own temper, Kurogane huffed and slumped down on the seat at the bus-stop as he watched Fay's shadow slowly disappear into the cover of the rainy night. This was bad…it was only the first night and the situation had such a dramatic twist. 'Rayne, what the hell did you get me into?' Somehow the thought of Rayne had him thinking straight. He was left with his mentor's last will; there was no way he was going to screw this up. He got up and jogged in the same direction as Fay had went, catching up to the frail looking man moments later.

"Hey…Daniel…Sorry!" He called out stretching his voice above the rain. Fay ignored him and continued walking "I said I'm sorry!"

His apology seemed to have got the blond man's attention. Fay stopped in his tracks.

Kurogane stood a few meters behind him as he observed the man hunched over himself with his arms about him…for a moment, he thought Fay was crying again. That was until he heard a stifled guffaw. Not believing what he thought he'd heard, he cornered Fay from the front.

"Have you totally lost it now?" He asked hesitantly, trying to get a better look at those cerulean eyes that was now partially covered by wet blond hair. Fay still trying to control his laughter looked up at Kurogane. That face that was showing so much anger just a moment ago had mellowed down, replacing the strained and frustrated expression was gentle eyes and a mouth pursed up in concern.

"No..." Fay replied shakily as he tried to control his voice "I just can't believe what a drama queen I can be sometimes."

"That's it?" Kurogane asked stupidly.

"Yeah…can we go home now? My sole's hurting like hell and look at us…two grown men standing in the rain without their shoes and looking half-naked. What would people think if they were to walk past us right now?"

"You're talking now..." Kurogane managed. He found it hard to believe that the blond man's mood could shift so drastically in a span of a few minutes. 'I'm so positive he's mad now, Rayne. Look at him…hurt, wet, cold and laughing about it.'

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

When they got back to the apartment, Yuuko was gone and Manju was still waiting by the door whimpering. Kurogane grabbed some towels from the bathroom and passed a large one to Fay. He than turned up the temperature of the heater before going in search of the first aid kit which he thinks should be laying about somewhere in the cabinets in the kitchen. He found it ten minutes later in the storeroom instead. By the time he went back to Fay, he was already asleep on the couch shivering in those wet clothes. Kurogane looked at the prone figure on his sofa, still bewildered by the blond's behavior and feeling pretty drained by the tumult of emotions he had been pulled through today.

Not to mention that Yuuko would most probably never come to his apartment after this incident.

He sat down gingerly onto the other end of the sofa where Fay's feet were dangling off the edge and studied the cut on his left foot, strangely glad that it doesn't look as bad as it seemed. He lifted the foot up gently and placed it on his lap cushioning it with a towel. He poured a gracious amount of saline over the wound and watched the towel below absorb the diluted red liquid. He supposed the pain stirred Fay awake when he heard the soft hiss from the blond man and than a rude shove from Fay as he snapped his feet to his chest with surprising speed.

"I'm just trying to dress your wounds." Kurogane said as he narrowed his eyes, irritation started brewing in him again.

"I'll do it myself." Fay said as cool blue eyes clashed with red steely ones again.

"Get over it, I won't do anything else. Incase you haven't noticed, I'm only interested in the female species." Kurogane said as he grabbed Fay's foot by the ankle roughly back to his lap again.

Fay cringed from the crude explanation and before he could stop himself, he had already given Kurogane a tight slap across the face. He sat back and waited for his retribution while looking at Kurogane's face turned an unhealthy shade of red, his jaws tighten and clench while his orbs turning near black in his rage. Fay squeezed his eyes shut and filched as he waited for the hit when Kurogane leaned forward with his arms stretched out…it never did though.

"Don't you ever try that on me again, I didn't ask to be your fucking nanny and you better understand that!" Kurogane gritted his teeth as he hissed those words. It was unbelievable that Fay managed to lay a hand on him; he had never been hit before. Even during the occasional fights that he got into, he was the one to land the punches and knock his opponents out. It was even more surprising to find he was taking the bullshit the frail looking man was throwing at him!

Fay snapped open his eyes when he heard Kurogane talking and tried to fight the suffocation his body was feeling due to the man's proximity. He could see the veins along those muscular arms pressing down on the back of the couch throbbing…Fay knew at that moment he had pushed too much. He nodded his head in silent agreement. Kurogane took a few deep breathes and sat himself down again before quietly asking for Fay to stretch out his foot once again. He felt the blond's body tense up again and he wrapped his hands gently around his ankle and circled his thumb along the moist cool skin.

"Just relax alright, everything will be fine." Kurogane said, his voice resuming the deep calming tone he normally spoke in, his hands working efficiently with the bandages and antiseptic cream.

"And would you take off my jacket…it's soaking the couch."

TBC

Conversation between Kurogane & Scott Anderson

Dial Tone

"Good morning, thank you for calling Crawford, Anderson & Weiss. How may I help?"

"Good morning, could you kindly connect me to Mr. Anderson?"

"Please hold for a moment sir, thank you."

Pause

"Good morning, Scott speaking."

"Hi, Mr. Anderson…This is Ryuken. Is it a good time to talk?"

"Oh sure it is, please, just call me Scott. How have you been Ryuken san? Is Daniel alright?"

"I should think so…I'll get straight to the point here. Is Daniel still in need of treatment?"

"…."

"Scott…? Mr. Anderson…?"

"Well, he is. I have arranged for someone to attend to him while Daniel is in Japan. I'm sorry he has not contacted you yet. I'll give him a call again."

"Also…"

"Yes?"

"Do you know exactly the condition of Daniel when you sent him off?"

"He was admitted shortly after Rayne's death and only discharged for two weeks before I sent him to you. He had a breakdown but I assure you that he's…"

"And you thought it appropriate to omit these details?"

"I thought it would be the best to send him away as soon as possible…he has…as you understand…too many memories here."

"(Loud sigh)…so which psychiatrist have you got for him?"

"Dr. Ashura Rai, he's stationed at Tokyo Grand University Hospital…"

"Thank you…I will take it from here than. It's was nice talking to you.'

"Humm…Ryuken san?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you for doing all this."

"Only for Rayne, Scott. Only for him."