Title: Letters Between A Queen & Her Zeppo


Auhtor: NaiveCynical


Summary: AU in which a coupled Xander and Cordelia are having a fight over his ex-girlfriend, Willow and write a series of letters and diary entries. X/C


Author's Note: This story diverges from Buffy canon after A Lover's Walk, in season 3. In this universe, Willow and Xander dated for two month. After they broke up, Xander and Cordelia reunited.

Chapter 2: Xander

2/18/99
Cordy,

I don't think I'll be letting you read this, but I feel the need to respond. Anyways, it times like this I really wish bad things didn't happen. I mean there are things I'm sure that have happened to you that really bordered on Nightmareville, but you think about it and realized they shaped you....helped you become just who you are.


But all of this, everything that revolved around that short yet mega-powerful letter was ridicoulus and should have never happened. I can't fall down to my knees begging for forgiveness to take away the pain I caused you over this year. It's wrong, I'm a jerk, and you never deserved any of what happened.


As for that letter...I should have been thinking of you when writing to the girl I was friends with for 13 years. I am so in the wrong for not telling Willow about you and me getting back together. Sure, it would have broken her heart even more than if I had just told her, but then none of this would have ever happened.


I love you so damn much, and I know you know that I know you know I didn't mean for any of this to happen. But it did, and I don't know how to fix it. But I aggree, I should have never written the fucking thing. If I could I would go back and not do it...I don't know what I can do to make what you're feeling go away. I don't know how to make you and me feel like...you and me?


I'm sure things sooner or later will not only return to normal, but also get better than they ever were. I love you, and am confident we can get through everything together. Cordy, I want to spend the rest of my life with you and no one else. No one makes me feel like how you do. I feel important and special, almost like I'm a hero. That's something no one but you has ever given me.

So yeah, I want things to work. 'Cause what you and me have had since junior year is something special, and I refuse to give up on us.

Love, (even though I don't deserve to lick the soles of the Prada shoes you own)
Xander

P.S. Yeah, I'm mad that you call Willow names, but it's okay. Me and her never missed an oppurtunity to make fun of you....retelling the 4th grade trip to the zoo story was pretty entertaining.