Hiccup did not propose that morning, despite his instincts screaming at him to do so. It wouldn't have been right, not with Astrid so upset over losing Stormfly. She was vulnerable, and asking would have been exploitation. His position in the universe wasn't so great either…he didn't want anyone to think she accepted out of pity…and besides, she was the one saying they weren't ready.
It wasn't like there wasn't a million other things to do in the meantime.
After his father died, Hiccup buried himself in his duties as the new chief. It was a way to keep moving forward, to numb away the pain if only for a moment. He was foolish to think it would work a second time. A year ago he had been able to look up to see dragons, to see Toothless dutifully beside him. He could reach out and touch the smooth scales of the Night Fury whenever he needed his reassuring presence. Now, Hiccup found his right hand darting out to the side behind his table, only to grasp open air.
"Clan Jorgenson!" He groaned, curling his fingers back into his palm. Spitelout, his half-uncle, strolled up to his desk.
"We want a plot on top of that hill," Spitelout pointed off behind Hiccup's head, up to one of the many slopes that graced their new home. Hiccup shook his head.
"No can do Spitelout. Clan Ack already staked their claim."
"What?" Spitelout yanked over Hiccup's helmet, where inside there were dozens of rolled up pieces of parchment. "This system is rigged."
"It's completely random. How is it rigged?"
"The Ack's had some of the best land on Berk, why should they get it again?"
Hiccup folded his hands beneath his chin and sighed.
"Spitelout…you had the second best plot of land on Old Berk…the second largest house…"
"Well, my son is your heir. Shouldn't he get first pick?"
"Snotlout might not be living under your roof for long if he marries," Hiccup scribbled absentmindedly on his chart, impatient for Spitelout to give a reasonable response. "Besides, he's only my heir until I have a son or daughter of my own."
"Yeah, and when's that going to happen?"
Hiccup nearly snapped his pencil in half. He could feel his nostrils flare, but managed to exhale calmly.
"Probably before Snotlout finds someone to marry him."
"I-"
"I'll give you a plot on one of the western hills. Nice view of the sunsets, fresh sea breeze…you and Aunt Lundy will love it." He reached into the helmet and pulled out another slip, "Clan Ingerman!"
"Give any thought as to where to put the new hall, Chief?" Eret caught up with Hiccup in the afternoon, after plots had been distributed and bowls of fish stew had been passed around. Hiccup hadn't eaten, he didn't have much of an appetite. The smell of fish brought back memories of Toothless's morning breath. "I know the men are itching for a round of mead, myself included."
"I'm thinking that hill overlooking the inlet."
"Not a bad choice. Good vantage point to spot any threats at sea," Eret waved to passing villagers with such an ease, it was like he was Berkian born and raised. "How about your own homestead?"
"That's the last thing on my mind Eret," Hiccup ignored the sharp pain shooting up his left leg. He needed a better leg, and quick. "I have hundreds of Vikings that need homes first, plus the livestock."
"Selfless to the end huh? Admirable in a leader. Still, you've got to bunk with someone: a chief can't stay in a tent forever."
"Are you offering?" Hiccup chuckled.
"Well, the guys were thinking of building a temporary bachelor hut of sorts. Tuffnut's idea."
"I'm not sure if that's a good thing or-"
"Well I think part of it has to do with his 'beard' since…" Eret gestured to himself, with blue stripes where a beard would be on any other man. "Compensation."
"Ah…" Hiccup smirked. "Well Eret, as someone who has had the unfortunate experience of bunking with Tuffnut…good luck."
"Oh Hikke!"
Hiccup grumbled, "Speaking of Hel…"
Tuffnut sauntered up to them stroking his faux-beard. He had braided it in a new fashion after having it undone during the battle against the armada, and seemed quite pleased with the ensemble.
Hiccup rolled his eyes before flashing a forced smile that went unnoticed by the twin.
"Hey Tuff…"
"I was just in the neighborhood, showing off my manly facial hair," he emphasized with a fondling stroke, "When I heard that you and the fair Viking warrior queen were seen traipsing into the village early this morning, arms wrapped around each other in a lover's embrace…"
Hiccup gestured pointedly to his prosthetic.
"Oh for Odin's…my good leg is at the bottom of the ocean and this is the only one I have!"
"You ought to take a breather Chief," Eret said concernedly, "Been limping all day."
"I told you you need swagger, not," Tuffnut marched around in a crude imitation of Hiccup's gait.
"Tuffnut, I'm going to say something, and please by all means take this the wrong way…shut up."
As he turned to storm off, wincing all the while, he heard Tuffnut shout over the din of the village:
"Way to be authoritative Hikke!"
Grumbling, Hiccup found his way back to his tent. Tired, sore, and drained, he figured he could squeeze in about an hour's worth of shuteye. Everyone else could manage for a while, but he could not manage without a decent rest. The sight of his dilapidated tent made him groan as he recalled his promise to fix it earlier in the morning. With a defeated sigh, and his leg no longer functioning as a useable metal limb, he decided to risk the canvas collapsing on him than waste another moment not in bed.
His bed, however, was occupied.
"Mom?"
Valka Haddock lifted her pale green eyes towards the opening of the tent. While her irises maintained a permanent glassiness that reminded Hiccup of a calm sea, her eyes were noticeably full of tears. In her hands was Hiccup's old stuffed dragon, stitched with his name on the side.
"Oh, Hiccup…I didn't think you'd be back so soon."
He gestured halfheartedly to his leg. Valka moved to stand, but Hiccup waved her down.
His sigh of relief was seconds long as he finally, finally sat down. His stump was red and raw.
Valka grimaced noticeably, turning away. In the year since their reuniting, she had yet come to terms with the damage done to her only child.
"Spitelout told me you gave him a plot on one of the hills."
"Yeah."
"He wasn't too thrilled about that…Lundy seems okay though."
Hiccup hummed quietly. Smalltalk with his mom was never easy…he never thought he would admit that talking to his dad was simpler, yet here he was.
"I came in here to get away from that cousin of yours."
"He never listens, does he?"
"I keep reminding him I'm his aunt but he seems to think that being his father's half-sister is like I'm an adopted sister…his father never listened either." Valka smiled fondly.
"Runs in the family," Hiccup added. "Viking stubbornness."
Valka hummed quietly, her fingers thumbing over the stitching of Hiccup's name.
"You were five months old when I made this for you, it was the same week that Cloudjumper-" she gasped, clearing her throat. Hiccup saw her face transform before him, from one of simple conversation to one of agony. She dropped the toy to the ground, her long fingers clenching at her mouth and at her stomach. A whimper gave way to a wail, an inhuman noise that shattered Hiccup's heart. Without thinking, he wrapped his mother in his arms and rocked her.
"I'm right here Mom," he murmured softly.
She sniffled, wiping her face with trembling hands.
"Oh Hiccup, I'm sorry, I-" the words melted into a stream of gasps and coughs. Hiccup waited for her to find the words, waited for her to calm.
"I thought, knowing that it was what was best for him…saying goodbye wouldn't have hurt as much as it does," she whispered, minutes later. "He was such a dear, dear friend, and I-" she gulped, "Twenty one years."
Hiccup continued to console her, rocking her gently as she heaved and shuddered.
"He took me away from my family," she croaked, "but in the end he became a part of my family. I wouldn't have made it in this world without him, I couldn't have, and it's been so long since I've had my feet on the ground that I don't know if…" she sighed glancing up into Hiccup's eyes, "Oh son, I'm so sorry."
"Mom, you don't have anything to be sorry for-"
"I do Hiccup, I do. Even after we were reunited, even after your father…my mind was always elsewhere, up in the clouds. I don't know if I can move on from that life. I don't know if I'm strong enough. I don't know the path that's ahead-"
Hiccup pressed the palm of his hand against his mother's cheek. She stiffened, glancing up until their eyes met.
"We'll find it and walk down it together then Mom, I promise," He brushed back a gray hair that had fallen loose from her plates and smile, "Sorry, but you're stuck with me."
Valka chuckled, straightening. Her fingers found the back of Hiccup's head and fiddled with the thick strands of auburn hair, finding a small, intricately woven braid.
Her smile shifted from one of amusement to one of mischief.
"I heard you were out early this morning with Astrid."
Hiccup rolled his eyes, "Nothing happened-"
"Oh no, Gobber told me what was going on…poor dear. Luckily she has you to help."
Hiccup shrugged, "Most of the time I'm the one that's lucky to have her. None of this," he gestured grandly around him before frowning, "Okay well, most of Old Berk would have never existed if not for her. She's the main reason I shot Toothless down in the first place, all to get a date with her"
"Oh?"
He felt the heat rise to his cheeks. "Yeah, I had it bad Mom."
"You still do."
With a groan, Hiccup flopped back on his cot.
"I was going to ask her to marry me back on Old Berk…I had it all planned out. Then Gobber had to open his big mouth and Astrid said that we weren't ready, and then Toothless found the Light Fury and Grimmel found us and-"
"Oh I knew exactly what you were up to Hiccup," Valka snickered.
"What? How?"
"We shared a house, and I could hear you pacing during the night. Metal legs aren't very good for sneaking around you know."
"Oh gods, you didn't hear my-"
"What was it the one night…oh yes, 'Eyes as blue as Nadder scales, on me her fists can brutally whale…'"
"Oh gods!" He buried his face in his hands.
"While the idea behind it is…sweet, I don't think Astrid is much for poetry."
"I'm glad my notes burned down with the house then…" Hiccup moaned, crunching up to sit again. "I don't know what to do Mom…I want to marry her, I'd skip every bit of tradition and ceremony if it meant I could marry her right this second…but I don't even know if she wants to. And now with everything that happened I'm sure the last thing on her mind is me getting down on one knee and offering her all of…this." He pointed to himself ruefully.
"Give it some time dear. Let the storm settle and let Berk rebuild. Astrid loves you, but she is dedicated to Berk's safety just as much as you are. I doubt either one of you will be able to get much sleep with the state of things." She kissed his temple, rising to leave.
"Mom?"
"Go ahead and rest dear. I'll speak to Gobber about finding a better leg for you until the stall is fully operational, and I suppose I need to find a place for a hut of my own."
"You don't want to stay with me?"
Valka hesitated at the tent's opening, a sly smirk on her lips.
"I would…but when you and Astrid are married I would feel like an intruder. After all, I remember what it's like to be a newlywed and to want to be-"
"MOM!"
