Okay, first of all, you guys rock my socks, plain and simple. Second, I'm really sorry this took so long. My computer crashed, and I had to wait for them to come fix it, combine that with the start of finals week, and well….sorry it took so long. But please review again, it makes me happy, and nothing else really is making me very happy this week. I'm a wee bit stressed out, forgive me, and please review! You guys are awesome.

Disclaimer: Not my characters, not my song.

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"What?" Sandy asked.

"Dawn. She overdosed on pain killers," Kirsten repeated. "Oh God, Sandy." She buried her head in his chest again and he stroked her blonde hair absentmindedly.

There was one thing on both their minds. How was Ryan going to react? It was still his mother, despite the fact that she left him and they hadn't seen or heard from her in months.

"He's going to be devastated," Kirsten said softly. "I just…how bad were things that it had gotten to this point? Was there something that we could have done?" Sandy shook his head.

"Honey…it's not your fault. Don't blame yourself." Kirsten shook her head and wiped away a tear that had begun to snake down her face.

"I know…I know that it's not my fault. But I can't help but think if we would have…I don't know, done something...maybe she just needed some help. Maybe we should have offered to help her find an apartment and get a job and help her get her life back together." Kirsten took a shuddering breath. "How are we going to tell Ryan?" Sandy shook his head again. Another thing that he didn't know. He wished that he could fix this. He wished he could spare Ryan the pain that would come. He wished that he could stop Kirsten from feeling guilty over this. Stop her from feeling like she could have done something to prevent it. He knew that she knew logically that she had nothing to do with Dawn's death. That she barely knew the woman really, and that by taking Ryan in and treating him as if he were her own, Kirsten had already done more for her than anyone else had ever.

But a woman was dead, and someone needed to hold at least some of the blame. And Sandy knew that Kirsten would hold an unfair amount, but more than anyone, Ryan would.

He would undoubtedly blame himself. And Sandy wanted more than anything to see to it that he didn't. He knew that it was impossible, but he was going to at least try.

"I don't know," Sandy said. "I guess we just tell him."

They would have to tell him when he got home from school. They would have to tell him as soon as he walked in the door.

It was a conversation that neither Sandy nor Kirsten were looking forward to.

And you were somehow the rain this thing could allow

But it's all wrong

You're so strong

And this life and work

And choice took far too long

Where'd it go?

Tonight the sun shall see it's light

Ryan and Seth's voices could be heard as the front door shut. Seth was saying something, and Ryan was laughing about it. Sandy and Kirsten were still in the office, she had finally gotten herself completely calmed down, but Sandy's arms were still securely wrapped around her. Partly to keep her calm, and partly to keep himself calm.

When they heard the boys, they exchanged a look. Kirsten took a deep breath and reluctantly pulled away. Sandy took her hand and the two went out into the kitchen where Seth was pulling out milk and Ryan was scavenging for the last of Rosa's cookies.

"Mom? Dad? What are you guys doing home?" Seth asked. It was rare to see one of his parents home when he came home from school, it was extremely rare to see both. It was then that Ryan got the sinking feeling in his stomach. Something was wrong. He could see it in Kirsten and Sandy's tense positions, the way that Kirsten was gripping onto Sandy's hand. There was a reason that they were both home in the afternoon, and it certainly wasn't good.

"Seth, honey? Can we talk to Ryan alone for a minute?" Kirsten asked softly. Ryan gulped hard and Seth looked from his parents to Ryan and then back.

"Sure, I'll be upstairs, if you need me," he told Ryan before disappearing from the kitchen.

"Please Seth," Sandy called out. "Please go upstairs." They heard Seth sigh and his retreating footsteps.

"What's the matter?" Ryan asked softly.

"Kirsten got a phone call earlier," Sandy started. "Your mother…she, um…" He looked to Kirsten for guidance, and she stepped forward and placed a hand on Ryan's shoulders.

"She overdosed on pain killers, honey," she said gently.

"Is she…dead?" Kirsten nodded, and tried to figure out what Ryan was thinking, but his face was impassive. "Was it…did she do it on purpose?"

"They found a note," Sandy said taking a step closer and placing one hand on Kirsten's shoulder. Ryan just nodded and took a step back, letting Kirsten's hand fall.

"I need….I'm going to…I need…." He bolted from the kitchen, and they could hear the sounds of retching from the bathroom. Kirsten ran after him and rubbed a hand over his back.

"We're here for you, sweetheart. Anything you need, just name it, okay? Please let us know," she told him. Sandy walked in with a wet washcloth and handed it to Ryan, who wiped his face. Kirsten helped him to his feet, and leaned in to give him a hug, and was surprised when he let her.

"We love you," she whispered.

"Can I…um, I need to be alone for a little while," he said.

"Sure, kid, take all the time you need. We'll be here if you need us," Sandy assured him.

They watched his retreating back as he went out the patio door. Kirsten turned back to Sandy, her face lined with tears, and silently, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close.

"He's going to be okay," Sandy told her giving her a soft kiss on the lips. "He's going to get through this. We're going to get through this."

So what if you catch me

Where would we land?

In somebody's life

For taking his hands

Sing to me hope as she's

Thrown on the sand

All of our work

Is rated again

Seth finally had enough of waiting in his room and hurried back downstairs to see what was going on. He was out of loop, and Seth hated to be out of the loop. When he got down to the kitchen, Ryan was no where in sight, and his father was holding his mother who was weeping softly.

"What's going on?" He asked. "Where's Ryan?"

"Seth," his dad said looking up. "Sit down."

"Why is Mom upset? What happened?" Kirsten reached out and placed a hand on Seth's arm.

"We got a phone call today, Ryan's mother killed herself," she told him. Seth was rendered speechless.

"Is he…I mean, is he okay?"

"He needed some time by himself," Sandy told him. "Let's give him some space. This is a lot to handle."

"But…I mean…" Seth didn't know what to say, he didn't know what he was supposed to do. "What can I do?"

"Oh honey," Kirsten said pulling him into a hug. "Just be there for him. He's going to want to pull away, and we need to let him know that we're here for him." She placed a kiss on the top of Seth's head, and Seth wondered what it would feel like to be in Ryan's place.

What if his mother was dead? What if his mother had killed herself? He looked at his mom, who had pulled away from him and was now pulling out four tea cups and putting the water on the stove. God, he was horrified at the thought of losing his mother, and while he knew that Ryan's mother was nothing like his own, it was still his mother. And he knew that Ryan still loved her.

Surprising both his parents, Seth wrapped his arms around Kirsten.

"I love you," he said softly.

"I love you too," she replied. She ran a hand up and down his back soothingly, and ran a hand through his unruly hair.

"Watch the Jew fro Mom," he told her with a small smile.

"I knew that was pushing it," she said giving him a small smile of her own. Sandy moved closer to his wife and son and gave them each a kiss on the temple.

Dawn's death had made all three realize that they couldn't take one another for granted. They could take nothing for granted. They had to remind one another how much they loved each.

And they would have to remind Ryan how much they loved him. But above all, they would have to make him see that he had a support group, that he had them, and that he didn't have to go through this alone.

"I'm going to take him out some tea," Kirsten announced pulling herself away and pouring the hot water into one of the mugs. "I'll be right back." Sandy nodded, and Seth didn't reply, lost in his own little world.

Kirsten took the hot mug and made her way across the backyard. She knocked lightly and stepped inside.

"I brought you a cup of tea," she said. She was greeted by silence. The door to the bathroom was open, and Ryan was no where in sight. There was a note on the bed, and she picked it up.

"I had to do something, please don't worry. I'm not sure when I'll be back, Ryan."

Don't worry, he said. Worry was exactly what Kirsten was going to do, as she hurried back in the house to show Sandy so that he could worry with her.

When I was sure you'd follow through

My world was turned to blue so thin

When you'd hide

Your songs would die

So I'd hide yours with mine

And all my words were bound to fail

I know you won't fail

See, I can tell

Please review! And sorry again it took so long, damn computer, damn finals. Finals are the instrument of the devil. I'm a little stressed right now, make me feel better please!