Phoebe was seated on Monica and Chandler's couch with her guitar singing loudly. "There once was a man named Chandler he worked as a blahblahler-"

"Phebs, you still don't know what I do?"

"He spent his days eating Lays and doing whatever Monica told him to dooooooo."

"I KNOW!" Monica screeched.

"You still don't know what I do? Are you serious?" Chandler threw himself down in the chair defeated.

"Okay," Monica walked over to the couch, "do you want to hear a bit of gossip?"

"DO I?" Phoebe chirped.

"A little birdie told me that Rachel-"

Chandler sighed, "Oh God, you know that she kissed Joey?"

"What," Monica and Phoebe shouted in unison.

He buried his head in his hands, "You didn't know."

Monica perched herself on the side of the couch, "So let me get this straight… Rachel kissed Joey? Not Ross but Joey? Are you kidding?"

"About as serious as a cat in heat."

Phoebe laughed, "What does that even mean?"

"I don't know, it just sort of came out." Chandler sighed, "But you guys can't tell anyone I told you. I think I'm the only one Rachel told."

"Wait Rachel told you? Not Joey," Monica was in disbelief. "I mean we've all known that Joey loves her but Rachel too?"

"Rachel what," she said as she opened the door and stole an apple off of the table.

The gang got quiet but Phoebe was quick to jump in, "Totally gets sick of Ross telling everyone that 'YOU WERE ON A BREAK!'"

"Oh yeah I do," she sneered, "Who is trying to roll that line off on now?"

"Me," Phoebe sighed.

"What?" Rachel seemed annoyed, "Ross is trying to get with you?"

Phebs laughed hysterically, "As iffffff, he was just talking about women always want to know why he's been married so many times and why he can't keep a good relationship going."

Rachel bit into the apple, "You want to know why he can't keep a relationship? Because he lives in the past, he can't move by something and he acts on impulse."

"You act on impulse too don't you?" Phoebe asked.

"I guess we all do," Rachel answered.

"JOEY!" Monica rushed into his apartment screaming.

"What, whaaaat?" He ran out of his bedroom where he had been hiding the past week and a half.

"How could you?"

"What how could I what?" He thought for a moment, "Ohhh, you mean that tuna wasn't for me? It was just so could I couldn't help myself to a good sandwich. And then the sugar cookies, how could I turn those down?"

"You took my food too? C'mon Joey!" She smacked his arm with an oven mitt.

"I thought you were used to that by now."

"No…. no how could you kiss Rachel?"

He dropped his jaw, "Who told you?"

"Chandler."

Joey rubbed his face, "How did Chandler find out?"

"Um, Rachel…"

He ran his hand through his hair, "Was she mad? What did she say?"

"Why would she be angry," Monica reached into his cabinet and picked up a glass to fill with water.

"I kind of…ran away."

"You ran away?"

"Well-YEAH!" He flung his arms out in typical Joey fashion.

"Why?"

"Because she's ya know, Ross's ex."

Monica rolled her eyes, "So just because she dated Ross for a year you can't have feelings for her… Wait, do you have feelings for her or do you just want to sleep with her?"

"No! I could ya know, poke it."

She set her glass down on the small counter and pointed at him, "Wait, are you telling me that you think that you could poke the baby?"

"Well-YEAH. I don't want that to be one of its first experiences. Getting poked in the eye with, ya know!"

She leaned over the counter toward him, "So you think that you could poke the baby? Do you have any idea how the female reproductive system works?

"Ya know, you got the vagina, and that's connected to the Philipp Eon Tubes and if my thing goes through the cervix I could poke it!"

Monica just stared at him, "Trust me, there is no way it is physically possible for you to poke the baby."

"Really?"

She crossed her arms, "Oh so now you're interested?"

"Well I've always been interested."

She was fast asleep when the door banged closed, Rachel did not think much of it because sometimes when Joey was drunk or with a girl he tended to be a little too loud. She was in and out of sleep while the rustling in the other room continued. When the door to her bedroom erupted open.

She shot up in bed and tried to acclimate her eyes to light. "Joey?"

"Shit," the voice said.

"Who-who are you," Rachel leapt out of bed and reached for anything she could find and her hand landed on a hardcover novel. She approached him, "Who are you? JOEY!"

"What's happening in there," a second voice followed the first one into the room. They were both wearing masks.

"Oh my God," Rachel yelled. "Who are you?! Get out!" She threatened them with the book. "What do you want? JOEY!"

"Shut up bitch," the first voice said approaching her.

"Don't hurt me, I'm pregnant!" Rachel quivered as she yelled. "CHANDLER! CHANDLER HELP ME! JOEY!"

The man charged at her shoving her against the wall, "Listen to me you blonde knocked up bitch." The man pulled a black gun from his hoodie and pressed it against her round tummy, "I will, don't you think I won't."

There were tears pouring down her face, "Not my baby please. Take anything else. I have money, I have cards… I won't even report them stolen you can just use them all you want. Not my baby please."

The handle to the main door started to rattle and the second man shut himself into the room with Rachel. The first man placed his hand over her mouth and whispered, "If you make any noise," he nudged the gun against her stomach once more. She nodded.

"Hey Rach," Joey called out.

The man shook head at her and she listened to Joey move around in the other room. "Hmm, that's weird," he said to himself. "I've never seen this duffle bag before… and it's not like Rachel is working out right now." They listened to him unzip the bag, "What the-Uh Rach are you here?" Rachel cried as she listened to Joey walk toward her door and knock, "Rachel?"

The man with the gun walked toward the door and got it ready to shoot.

"JOEY RUN," Rachel shouted.

The man lunged across the room and pistol whipped Rachel in the face. She let out a screech and the door burst open. "Rachel?"

The second man jumped onto Joey while the first one grabbed Rachel and put his gun to her head. Joey struggled with the man on the floor. "CHANDLER," he hollered and only a few moments later Chandler and Monica burst into the room.

"What's going o-"

"Oh my God," Monica screamed.

At this point Monica and Chandler had only seen the man wrestling with Joey on the floor. Chandler was about to intervene when Monica ran at the man and pulled him off of Joey. She landed a good punch to his jaw. "Who are you," Monica ripped off his ski mask. "Memorize this face," she said to Chandler.

Joey was already in the other room, "Get that gun away from her."

"Here's how this is going to go," the man said while Rachel cried in his arms that she was feeling contractions. The man looked down at her, "Here's how this this going to go, I'm going to walk out of her with my buddy and that's that."

Joey inched closer to the man, "Let go of Rachel."

The man pushed her on the bed and pointed his gun at Joey and began to walk out of the room. He pointed it at Monica once past Joey because she seemed like more of a threat than Chandler and the two men left the apartment.

Joey rushed to Rachel who was sobbing on the bed. He pulled her into his arms, "Are you okay? Are you alright Rachel? I am so sorry I wasn't here."

"Chandler call 911," Monica barked as she rushed into the room with Joey and Rachel. "Oh, Rachel are you okay?"

She was crying incomprehensibly, "My baby, I think she's coming. She's too early," her arms were wrapped around her stomach and Joey rocked her back and forth.

"Shh, shhhhhh," Joey hissed into her ear and as he pet her hair. We're going to go to the hospital, they'll take care of you there. Mon," he said gently and calmly, "why don't you call and ambulance for Rachel and we'll wait right here. We won't move. Right Rachel."

She was still sobbing but she confirmed that she would not move. He continued to pet her hair and try to soothe her. "It's okay, it's okay, you're going to be alright honey. I am here now. I've got you and nothing bad is going to happen. We're going to go to the hospital, and hopefully it's only Braxton Hicks again. Remember when that happened. You're going to be okay."

"My water broke, Joey."

Joey kissed her head as he pet her. "That's alright. You're going to be okay."

Chandler walked back into the room to see how they were.

Joey turned to him, "You need to call Ross and tell him that he needs to meet us at the hospital. If Monica hasn't already called an ambulance tell her to call them and if she has tell her to call them again. Then call Phebs and tell her to meet us there too. Make sure you tell them that this is all going to be okay."

"Alright…Rachel," Chandler spoke softly.

"Mhm?"

"I love you. You're strong, you can do this," and then he left the room again.