Wow, -looking at the reviews with teary eyes- 16 reviews! It was half of my first fanfic's reviews that had 8 chapters! Poor Ayame… and more surprising that was more than a hundred hits! O-O so many SasuHina fans out there! So I can't just discontinue the story, ne? Explanations and Responses from reviewers are below so it wouldn't disturb your reading. I hope I don't disappoint you. And, is there anyone who want to beta me?
Hey, I don't own Naruto! Cause if I did, Naruto would be verrryyy boring. XDD I only own my story. Enjoy!
What Are We?
Of Thoughts
Hinata had just finished her morning training, she was sitting on the wooden floor. She wiped the sweat from her brow with the back of her hand. She moved her gaze to the heavens, everything she tried to forget through the training returned unbidden. The wedding would be held few more days, and she couldn't help but to feel dread welling inside her. Her father had forbidden Sasuke to meet him before the wedding, she was truly grateful of it, she didn't know what she would do if they met. She wasn't ready for it, or the truth was, she wasn't ready for everything. The wedding. The people's reaction. And the life after. She cupped her hand on her face. The wedding would be a private one, only important people would be invited to the wedding, beside the whole Hyuuga members –both Main and Branch house- that included the Hokage, the elders and landlords of the Fire Country. She was allowed to invite her closest people though, Sasuke was also given the same right. The closest people she had, was her old genin team, Kiba, Shino and Kurenai-sensei –not to forget Akamaru, she smiled to remember all the memories she had with her team. The problem was, how she would deliver the news to them. Their wedding was kept secret from the public until they were officially husband and wife. She got a feeling that her team wouldn't accept the news pretty well, especially a certain loud Inuzuka and his dog.
I
I
I
"WHAT!" the voice was so loud until the birds flew from the trees, the chipmunks ran to their holes and the whole village closed their ears to shut the voice. Hinata had already prepared enough with her former teammate's reaction, though she unconsciously stepped backward from the loud outburst. She found her team in their old training ground. Her teammates had grown a lot, Kiba had grown taller, but not tall enough to beat Shino. Kiba had thrown away his old jacket and changed to much more practical attire and suited his combat style. Shino still kept his sunglasses and still wore high collared clothes so his expression remained hidden though his clothes were no longer the same with the ones in their genin days. While Kurenai didn't seem to change much, except her clothes. She still looked as beautiful as Hinata could remember, her eyes had the same kindness and warmth like her mother's.
"K-Kiba-kun," she tried to calm him down. She hadn't drop the suffix to her team, they were among the few whom she felt comfortable with.
"Kiba, calm down. You're startling Hinata," Kurenai put a firm hand on her former student. Kiba was trying to regain his composure, even though the others could see he was still fuming. Kurenai looked at Hinata, the student who was like a daughter to her, and asked calmly,
"Is it true?" Hinata was glad her team –most of them- could accept the news pretty well, Kurenai was trying to understand her first while Shino, well being Shino, kept silent all the time.
"Yes, I'm going to be married to Sasuke-san," she regarded him as –san because they weren't close to one another and being taught to be polite since she was young, she always addressed people with –san other than people she was close to. Kurenai and Shino noticed it, and they knew it wasn't a marriage by Hinata's own will.
"It is a private occasion, only the clan member and important people are invited, but we are allowed to invite several people to attend the ceremony. Here's the invitation," she pulled out three invitations and handed it to them each.
Kiba accepted the invitation with a frown, he was about to protest when Shino grabbed him from behind and dragged him out from the training ground against Kiba's will.
"Hey, Shino! Let me go!" his hands were waving frantically, trying to release himself from Shino's death grip.
"Then what would you do? What Hinata needs now isn't your scolding or protests, she needs more than that," Shino spoke calmly, "Only Kurenai-sensei can provide that"
That totally shut up Kiba, he stopped trying to release himself and he seemed to understand. When Shino noticed that, he released his grip on him, letting him to stand on his feet. Kiba glanced to the training ground and growled under his breath,
"I'll make sure that Uchiha will have a piece of my mind"
"I'm sure that's what all of us want to do," Shino placed an assuring hand on Kiba's shoulder. Both of them considered Hinata as their sister who they needed to protect and they knew Hinata thought the same.
After the young men left, Hinata was left alone with Kurenai in the training ground. Kurenai took a seat under a tree and she motioned Hinata to do the same. Hinata sat soundlessly beside her former sensei.
"Tell me the truth Hinata…" Kurenai started and Hinata knew she couldn't avoid it,
"This marriage is not by your own will, is it?"
Hinata didn't dare to look directly at Kurenai, she merely nodded her head to prove that she was right.
"…I see, so you just accepted?" her crimson eyes were fixed on Hinata.
"I have already betrothed to the Uchiha heir since I was born"
"…Why don't you stand up against it? You're no longer the old Hinata who just stood there meekly, accepting everything that happened to you," Kurenai tried to be as gentle as possible, knowing it was a sensitive subject for Hinata. She knew her well, being her sensei through the years, she saw how Hinata grew up from the shy, timid and always stuttering Hinata to the stronger and confident Hinata. She saw how hard she worked for what she achieved now and how she was acknowledged as the Hyuuga heiress with pride instead of disgrace. She never agreed with Hiashi's strictness to her daughter, even though his intentions were good.
"…I'm the Hyuuga heiress. If it brings good to the clan, then there's no reason for me to go against the decision." Kurenai was rendered speechless with her answer, she looked at Hinata incredulously.
"Hinata!" she couldn't believe what she heard, then a thought occurred to her, "Are you afraid of the clan?"
Hinata didn't answer, she only looked at her hands that were folded neatly on her lap.
Kurenai let out an exasperated sigh, after all the years… Hinata couldn't really leave the clan's shadow. Even though she was the heiress who was going to be the next clan head of the Hyuuga, she was still under the clan council's orders. Basically, the Hyuuga tradition implicitly stated the rule, making the heiress powerless against their orders, even if the current clan head stated differently. Hinata who had lived her life fulfilling the clan's expectation had felt their influence directly. Even though she had grown a backbone, their influence had left a deep and lasting mark on the young heiress, making her unconsciously afraid to disappoint them.
Cursed the Hyuuga and their stupid tradition! Kurenai silently swore under her breath. She looked at the young woman sat beside her affectionately, Hinata was just a victim, as much as Neji. So instead of pressuring the woman more, she simply put a comforting hand on her shoulder. Hinata at last encouraged herself to look to her sensei and found she understood what she was going through. There was no need for words, her understanding and support was enough for Hinata.
I
I
I
Meanwhile, Sasuke was going through the same thing with Hinata. He also decided to invite his team to the ceremony, but he was much more fortunate than Hinata, most reaction he had was incredulous, surprise and anger look from Sakura, while the males simply accepted the news as if it wasn't a big deal. First, because Naruto had already known before. Second, because Kakashi, well, you knew how Kakashi was, different with Kurenai who was more involved emotionally with her student, he decided that Sasuke's decision was his own and he would only get along with it. Not like he didn't care but he was fully aware that his students were already capable enough to choose their own path in life without his interference. He trusted Sasuke's judgment and he didn't miss the fact that Naruto didn't seem to mind either, so he would let it be until his interference was needed. But it didn't seem that Sakura agreed with them, she kept giving Sasuke an accusing look.
"Why so sudden? I've never seen you with Hinata before?" she couldn't help but to feel a little jealous, it seemed she still had a crush toward her former teammate. Sasuke silently let out a sigh, he was truly not in the mood to explain everything to Sakura. Even though they were friends, they were some times, when Sakura could be so annoying, more annoying than Naruto –what a surprise-. Probably because women were harder to understand with their mood swings, he hoped Hinata wasn't like that. It was one thing he agreed with Shikamaru. Women are so troublesome.
Naruto didn't fail to notice the slight change in Sasuke's expression,
"Sakura-chan, don't be too harsh to Sasuke ne?" he spoke naturally, "He has his own reasons." When Sakura's attention was for a moment averted to Naruto, Naruto gave him a sign to use the moment to leave, and he used it.
"Sasuke!" Sakura was angered that Sasuke didn't try to explain it to them –to her.
"Maa, I suppose you're a bit too forceful," Kakashi shrugged nonchalantly, Sakura shot him a glare.
"C'mon, I'll explain everything," Naruto neutralized the atmosphere, with his words he had both of his former sensei and teammate's attention.
Sasuke was relieved that he avoided a thorough explanation with his female teammate, he truly didn't want to waste his time being scolded or anything by her. He needed some time alone, to think and to contemplate on everything. He found a tall old tree and sat on one of its high branch, he had a full view of the village. He rested his back on the tree and closed his eyes, his thoughts drifted to the forthcoming event. Honestly, he didn't know why he agreed to take the responsibility that used to be on his brother –he spat out his name in venom- he could have broken the agreement like Naruto had pointed to him, yet he didn't do it. Why? He didn't know, it wasn't like he had an interest towards Hinata. Heck, he barely knew her or even remembered her from their genin days. He only started to notice her when he found out about the agreement along within important documents he found in his house after the war. She wasn't attractive or pretty, she was rather quiet when most girls would chatter endlessly about anything and nothing. She was just another face in the crowd for him, but somehow she was always able to stand out in her own way. There was something different with her, and he noticed that she was in par with Sakura as both medic nin and kunoichi, making her a perfect candidate besides of her bloodline limit.
Then he recalled what happened when he was called to the Hyuuga compound, and their brief moment when their gazes locked. Her milky eyes held a penetrating gaze that most Hyuuga had, she had the chance, yet she didn't do it. She merely looked at him, as if she was looking for something, and Sasuke didn't know what she tried to look for. He was also trying to use the moment to decipher her reaction towards the marriage, yet he found nothing, but he caught a slight emotion that seemed like sadness in her eyes.
He didn't know if he did the right thing, asking for her hand in marriage so suddenly. He felt a pang of guilt for what he had done, he had not only sacrificed his happiness but also Hinata's. He was being selfish, he knew. But when he thought of his deceased family and clan… his goal… his face hardened, after everything that happened, he couldn't afford to fail to restore the clan. He just hoped that Hinata would understand.
His conversation he had with Naruto kept repeating in his mind,
"But you can refuse it, Sasuke. You have the choice. I understand how much you want to restore the clan, and I know you want the best for the clan. But have you ever considered you own happiness? And Hinata's? You will be married out of love!"
"Both of you are my best friends, and I don't want to see both of you sad. Both of you deserve to be happy, by marrying someone you love. You can choose anyone you want Sasuke! There are a plenty of girls out there love you and I believe there is someone who deserves your love!"
"I don't have a say in this. At least Hinata needs to know about this from you directly. She deserves to know"
"Be happy, Sasuke"
He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to shake off Naruto's words from before. Everything had been done, there was no turning back.
I
I
I
It was late at night when Kakashi returned to his –no, he corrected- their apartment.
"Tadaima," he spoke loud enough to be heard by the person whom he had been living with for the past 4 years.
"Okaeri," a feminine voice replied from the kitchen and Kakashi could smell a delicious aroma of dinner. He removed his sandals and took his time to the dining room.
"You're late, Kakashi," suddenly Kurenai appeared from the kitchen that was just across the dining table. She was wearing a lovely pink apron and on her hands was their dinner, he just gave her a shrug. He put down his gears on a coffee table nearby and removed his mask, he approached her and gave her a kiss on her cheek.
"As usual, Gai challenged me," he smiled to her as she put down the dinner on the table.
"This time who won?" Kurenai smiled to him, her hand moved to untie her apron.
"Aw, my own wife doubts my abilities?" he gave a pained look.
"Oh, come on, admit that Gai rivals your ability," she playfully pinched her lawfully wedded husband.
"Alright, just don't compare me with his antics," he grinned and took a glass of water she had prepared for him.
"Oh, what antics?" Kurenai twitched her eyebrow, "His strange poses with a certain book you read?" Kakashi choked on his glass, and realized a dangerous aura his wife emitting.
"Well, uh- What's for dinner?" he hastily changed the topics, and Kurenai didn't miss it, but she let it slip for now.
"Your favorite"
"Ow, yummy!" Kakashi's face brightened and like a kid he sat impatiently on his chair to get the food, Kurenai merely shook her head to see his husband's antics. She followed his lead and gave him a bowl of rice. Kurenai took her time to examine her husband, his husband was a handsome one and she was one lucky lady. She understood why he used the mask, or at least she thought she did, that so he wouldn't have girls drooling over his looks like both his male students –oh yes, both Sasuke and Naruto- and she was the only person who could see what was under the mask, more importantly,it lessened herneed to be jealous for any other women's attention to her husband. They ate in silence, a comfortable silence they always had.
"That was delicious," Kakashi praised his wife, Kurenai simply smiled in satisfaction. She collected the dishes, Kakashi helped her to put it into the sink. Kurenai opened the tap and started washing the dirty dishes, Kakashi stood beside her. She realized there was something Kakashi wanted to talk with her.
"…Have you known about Sasuke and Hinata?" he started, his eyes were everywhere but her wife.
"Yes, he has told you, I presume?"
"Yep, though it seems Naruto has known before me"
"What do you think?" her eyes was still on her cleaning duty, yet her attention was fully concentrated on her husband.
"…I must admit it's so sudden," Kakashi shoved his hands on his pockets, "Is it an arranged marriage?" Kurenai smiled inwardly, Kakashi with his laid back attitude made him seem had no attention to others or even insensitive. But Kurenai knew better how attentive and caring Kakashi could be, especially when it came to his students, like her.
"Yes, they were betrothed to one another since they were born"
"Ah"
"How did Sasuke take it?"
"Didn't seem to be bothered, that kid… once he has set up a goal, he doesn't care about himself of others. One thing that doesn't change. How about Hinata?"
"…She accepted it out of duty…"
"Too bad Hinata isn't like most girls… she would at least be happy that the village's heartthrob is going to marry her"
"But Hinata isn't," Kurenai turned the tap off, she sighed sadly. Kakashi noticed the sad look in his wife's face, he gently lifted her hands and put it on his then he slowly caressed her hands.
"Don't worry, Sasuke will treat her well, I can assure you. He may be like a bastard sometimes, but he is a good boy. They are old enough to take care of themselves. Besides, we'll keep an eye on them," he laughed good-naturedly, "I sound like Naruto here"
Kurenai smiled slightly, she was a little relieved to hear her husband's reassurance.
"I hope everything will be alright"
"Me too," Kakashi enveloped her in a warm embrace, both of them were worried for their student who had taken a special place in their hearts. They would hope the best for them, for it was the only thing they could do.
I
I
I
The ceremony was short, it was only the preparation that took long time. Within minutes, they were officially husband and wife. Now they were standing at the front side of the garden where the banquet was held to accept the invited guests' good wishes for the newlyweds.
Sasuke was wearing a formal black kimono that the Hyuuga had prepared for him for the ceremony, while Hinata was adorned with simple and elegant white kimono. None of them gave a glance toward each other along the ceremony, both were avoiding contact. They accepted the guests' wishes politely, giving no reply when it wasn't needed. It was apparent that both of them were raised well as two of the strongest clan's heir and were ready for their duty.
Sasuke didn't know most of the guests though he recognized that they held important position. Among few he knew was Hinata's family that included the clan head himself, Hiashi; her sister, Hanabi; and her cousin, Neji, then his and Hinata's old genin team. It was a bit surprising for Sasuke that Hinata invited her team, like he did, which meant she also considered her team the closest people she had. Sasuke knew he wouldn't have friendly gazes from her teammates.
Kakashi and Kurenai agreed that their team would better come together to the wedding and stick together along the occasion since they were outsiders. They wore formal clothes, decent and simple enough not to attract much attention. They were seated at the left side of the garden, they decided to wait until all the important guests finished giving their wishes. When there was no more people lined up to give them their wishes, Sasuke decided to approach his team and Hinata did the same.
"Hey, lucky bastard!" Naruto greeted his friend not too loud to attract attention, he had learnt to control his voice. He patted his back and gave him his typical foxy grin.
"Congratulations," Kakashi smiled, team 7 had known him well enough to know his expression behind the mask.
"Thank you," he answered monotonously, he noticed that Sakura also managed to congrulate him but not as loud as Kakashi and Naruto. It seemed Sakura was a little angry about his marriage, though she didn't look to be angry at Hinata.
"Hinata… you look beautiful," Kurenai smiled affectionately to her. For the first time that day, Hinata smiled sincerely.
"Thank you, so you came together with Kakashi-san?" she glanced at team 7's former teacher also known as Kurenai's husband.
"Yes, it's pretty much a coincidence," he spoke with a hint of amusement in his voice.
"You indeed look lovely, Hinata-chan," Naruto added good-naturedly.
"Thank you, Naruto-kun," Hinata blushed to hear that from him, Naruto had a way to make people comfortable, especially he was one of her close friends.
"Hey, I'm the one who should say it first!" Kiba seemed annoyed that Naruto beat him for telling her first.
"Kiba, your voice too loud," Shino spoke calmly from beside him.
"Kiba-kun, Shino-kun, glad you make it," Hinata acknowledged her teammates.
"Of course, we can't miss your wedding day, can we?" Kiba grinned to her, suddenly Akamaru appeared from under the table.
"Akamaru!" Hinata kneeled and patted the full-grown dog on his head.
"He congratulates you," Kiba translated for Hinata.
But they weren't allowed to enjoy each other's company for long, a Hyuuga appeared next to them and told them that the clan head requested their presence for some talk with the Hokage and some high ranking officials. Before Sasuke left the table, he felt someone grabbed his wrist. It was Kiba, his face was serious, he whispered close enough for him to hear,
"Don't ever try to hurt Hinata. If you do, you know whom you'll be dealing with"
Then he released his wrist roughly, but Sasuke didn't give any reaction to it. He noticed three pairs of eyes –four, if you add Akamaru- were looking at him menacingly, and he sensed a slight killing intent from them. He didn't speak a word like the old Sasuke would do, he merely nodded and left their table.
Kiba sat back on his seat, he growled under his breath,
"I can't really trust him, the Sasuke I knew would have said snide remarks about me won't succeed to touch him or some things like that"
The others in the table could hear him pretty clearly though, they had accepted Sasuke back, yet he had changed much that they couldn't understand him completely, except Naruto who was looking at the pair silently.
I
I
I
Hinata took every detail of her house for the rest of her life carefully. It was Japanese styled house with sliding paper doors, not much different with her house, only it was smaller. It had a pretty wide garden with small koi pond and it seemed untreated, it was no wonder to think that there was only one person lived here.
She headed to her supposedly room that Sasuke had shown to her as soon as she stepped her feet on the Uchiha compound. She silently wondered why Sasuke chose to stay at his old house instead of staying somewhere else. Uchiha compound was vast, even though not as vast as the Hyuuga, but it was empty since the inhabitants were killed in the night the Uchiha Massacre happened. She felt a chill when she thought what happened to them, and noticed Sasuke didn't seem to be influenced with the silence and living in this place on his own with the past haunting him. If she were him, she would stay somewhere else. She didn't like living alone in such a big place. She slid the door open and found the bedroom was pretty big, there was a, a medium sized cupboard, and a futon for two sprawled upon the tatami mat. She narrowed her eyes at the thought, yet she knew it was inevitable, she was his wife after all. She looked at the hallway but found no trace of her newly wedded husband, he disappeared after he showed her his house. She silently let a relieved sigh, she decided to take a bath to relax herself. She opened the cupboard and found her things were already organized for her as her father's orders. She took a simple kimono for sleep, and went for the bathroom.
Sasuke were out in the training ground after he showed Hinata his house, their house from now on. He didn't know how he ended up on his family training ground. It seemed he was avoiding her, but he knew that he was avoiding her. He had taken his first step in accomplishing his goal, yet he hesitated to take the next step. So there he was, beating an innocent training log until it was broken and battered beyond repair.
Hinata had finished her bath, she looked refreshed. She realized Sasuke weren't anywhere to be found, so she decided to use the moment to relax. She was brushing her hair, sitting in front of the mirror. As she braided her long hair, she noticed her hands were trembling with nervousness. She was nervous, no… she was afraid what would happen. She hugged herself, trying to suppress the feeling. She inhaled a deep breath, she glanced nervously to the futon behind her. Fighting her fears, she laid herself on one side of the futon. She turned herself to lie on her side and closed her eyes, silently hoping that Sasuke would think she was sleeping and wouldn't touch her… would he?
Author's Note: Hehe, what would happen next chapter? Phew, that's was longer than I anticipated. It's a little insight to their thoughts of their upcoming marriage. Their team's reactions. Sorry I jumped many scenes to another, I hope you get it. Some explanations, in this fic, Itachi was already killed by Sasuke and the war that involved Orochimaru and Akatsuki wouldn't be told much, but things that involved our dear Sasuke and Hinata would be told. How the war indirectly affected them, and shaped them what they were now. There would be a lot of character development I suppose, it's one thing I'm pretty good at. Kakashi and Kurenai were married! I love KakaKure, especially since Scented Candles portrayed them very well in her fic. They would play important part in the story as much as Naruto and some others, in which I won't reveal you who they are yet. I hope their reaction towards the marriage were understandable, after all, I suppose that's what most parents react if their children is getting married. See ya later! Don't forget to review!
Responses:
Xoni Newcomer – Here's some explanation why no one tried to stand up against the nonsense, I hope you can accept it better, it's truly hard for Hinata to refuse it especially she was just a heiress, if she was the clan head herself probably would be different.
Athar Luna – Glad you like Sasuke and Naruto scene, I like it too. I always think they have a deep friendship, I truly hope Sasuke will realize his mistake and return to his friends in the manga.
Hokai Amplifier – Oh my, you reviewed! You're one of the best SasuHina author! Thank you if you think my story interesting, I'm truly a beginner in romance stories… Sorry the wedding didn't have any moments, I'm planning there won't be many moments in few first chapters. After all, they were still strangers to one another. I'm looking forward for the next chapters of The Best Things in Life and Alone No More!
Fractured wings 01 – my first reaction: O-O I'm a fan of you! I'm flattered you thought my story was wonderful, thank you very much! How will Essence of Desire end? Covet Contract? There will be times when Sasuke would be cold to Hinata, there's a reason why. Can I ask for your advice when I need one?
And for others that motivated me to continue the story, kenshinlover2002, deception-M, mUcHaChAnGiStAriRaY (how do you read/write your name?), newblue, observaant– not mean, Ghizzle, xxMizukixx, Nekema, amwong, saturnova, naruto'sbabygirl, and Kumiko Yamashita (you're the first reviewer!), thank you very much! Keep reviewing and reading!
