Chapter 2 – Up in the Air

~o~

"What fucking crap is this?"

"Just for your information, Arakita, airplane food has never been awarded Michelin stars."

"Is this really French cooking? And they say it's one of the finest cuisines in the world!" Arakita was poking his food with a plastic fork. The dish did look like tasteless crap. Two slices of grey, artificial-looking meat, overcooked vegetables, watery sauce, and a piece of dry bread. Toudou had not yet dared to taste his own dish, but after the show that Arakita was putting up, he'd be sure to praise it, no matter how gross it was.

"Taste it yourself. God damn, que merde!" Just for their trip, Arakita had memorized some useful phrases, aka swear words.

Toudou tasted.

Hrrgh!

Christ on a stick! Like a piece of cardboard soaked in mud water. Cold and slimy, and utterly unappealing. Somewhere in the back there lurked a faintly beef kind of aftertaste which made him hope he was imagining it. He swallowed quickly and tried some vegetables. Even worse. He probably could have hidden his disgust if Arakita hadn't stared at him so intently.

"Told you", his travelling companion said. "This is not suitable food for people. I really hope they have something else to serve."

"Not for free." Reluctantly, Toudou took another forkful, chewed quickly and swallowed with a gulp of water. Oh dear lord above. Had the flight been any shorter, he wouldn't have touched his plate again.

He managed to down half of his so-called meal, but then his stomach started to protest this uncommon way of eating (don't think about it, just swallow, gulp water and some air with it) or simply the poor quality of food. When a stewardess came to collect the dishes, he was able to hand over a plate that looked like at least half of its content had been eaten. Arakita's meal was practically untouched.

Toudou asked the stewardess to bring him a cup of tea and leaned back in his seat, sighing. He was still hungry. Maybe Shinkai had taken along enough protein bars to share with his teammates.

While sipping his tea, Toudou scanned the papers he'd printed: a map of this year's Tour de France route and some general information about the race. It would start at Corsica. Or actually, it had already started; at the moment cyclists were on their way from Nice to the Pyrenees. After the mountain stage they'd be taken to the North-Eastern part of the country to race across the country all the way to the Alps. Toudou and his travelling mates were meant to catch the race from the 12th stage called Fougères and then follow it until the end. A ten day trip. Ten days in France, watching the race of all road races. Toudou couldn't think of a better way to spend a holiday.

It wouldn't have been possible without Sohoku's dingbat coach. Mr. Pierre had some acquaintances in France – who knew, maybe he was originally French himself – and he'd managed to arrange them a half-free car and a couple of accommodations for along the way. There had been some talking about renting bikes as well, and keeping that in mind, everyone had packed their training clothes. The only downside was the fact that there were 15 of them and they had to squash themselves into a minivan and possible sleep in it or in tents for the nights that they couldn't find cheap accommodation. Surprisingly, nobody was upset about Sohoku coming along. Sure, they were rivals, but on this trip they shared a common goal. Toudou was only too happy to go on a holiday with Maki-chan. They really didn't meet often enough. Besides, if you made the mistake of listening to Imaizumi and Naruko, it sounded like Sohoku's team was perfectly capable of arguing amongst themselves.

The upcoming holiday had made Toudou forget his goal to get rid of his virginity by the end of summer. The trip to France could be seen as a hitch but actually, when you thought about it, it was the other way around. A world-famous sporting event was bound to have tons of cycling fans, and undoubtedly Toudou's oriental exoticism would appeal to European girls. Wasn't there even a saying about French girls being easy? Or was it 'dead girls'?

In any case, the holiday could speed up his mission. There was the problem of finding a suitable place, because really, who'd engage themselves in a sexual act when there were14 other people sleeping in the same van? He'd have to make sure to find a girl who could provide them with a suitable place.

In the seat next to him, Arakita was slurping his Bepsi noisily. Toudou turned to face him.

"Do you know if French girls are easy?"

"Hmh?"

"Well… y'know?"

"No, I don't."

"I mean–"

"I know what you mean," Arakita interrupted. When he spoke, a strong aroma of cola drink wafted into Toudou's face. A few more minutes and he would start burping. "I was saying I don't know what they are like. The hell I'd know about French chicks?"

Toudou straightened his neck, exhaling. "I was just thinking."

Arakita was quiet for a minute, seeming to muse over the subject. "Scandinavian girls are. Easy."

Toudou got a vision of a tanned blonde Amazon with legs long enough to reach the sky. Weren't all Scandinavians two meters tall? He wasn't sure if he'd have the guts to try to hit on a girl that huge.

"I can guarantee you no one in France has heard of you," Arakita offered helpfully.

"I didn't say they had."

"But you thought about it."

Toudou snorted, deciding to change the subject. After all, Arakita was completely the wrong person to discuss sexual relationships with. "The 12th and 13th stages are flats. After that it gets hilly, then flat again and then they'll reach the Alps." That was the stage Toudou was looking forward to the most. He wasn't called the Mountain God for nothing.

To tell the truth, people called him the Sleeping Beauty. He didn't completely understand why. Like, wouldn't a bit more of a masculine nickname have been more fitting?

Arakita stared at him for a long while, as if intending to point out that Toudou had changed the subject too abruptly but he rarely skipped a chance to talk about cycling.

He jabbed his finger onto Toudou's print. "Why do they fly to Paris from the Alps? Are there man-eating bears on the way or is there some other reason why they can't race it?"

"Maybe they'd exceed the overall time limit?"

"They should have axed from some other part of the competition. It's called Tour de France, which means they should race around France, not skip some stages."

"Maybe Fuku knows why. Or Mr. Pierre."

Arakita sneered which could have meant that Toudou was right or that nobody could be more clueless than Sohoku's chubby coach.

"Well, we'll probably find out when we get there."


Three hours into the take-off, Toudou was getting bored. And not just normally bored but extremely, thoroughly, it's-the-end-of-the-world bored. There was nothing sensible to do on the plane but it wasn't yet so late that he'd like to try sleeping. He had listened to some music, read a book, fiddled with his phone, played with his PS Vita and exchanged a few words with Arakita, but then his teammate got so pithy and irritated that Toudou gave up chatting. These activities took roughly two hours. The third one he'd spent examining his fingernails and counting minutes.

He was about to suggest that they should play cards even though he was lousy with them, but Arakita bent down to pull a laptop out of his bag and settled to watch a movie. Hey, that wasn't such a bad idea! Why hadn't Toudou thought about taking his computer with him? Because it wouldn't have been able to fit into his bag and there wasn't really time to use it in France. He had forgotten the 13-hour flight.

Toudou watched the movie out of the corner of his eye but after a couple of minutes it started to look too much like adult entertainment. Uncensored adult entertainment. Jesus!

"Is that even legal in Japan?" he finally opened his mouth. The actors in the film were westerners but where had Arakita downloaded his video?

"It's legal online." Arakita had the patience to turn his eyes away from the screen only to fish for earphones in his bag and plug them in.

Are you going to watch that while sitting next to me? Not that Toudou had anything against porn, but there was a time and place for everything and on a plane surrounded by people wasn't either of them.

"You better keep your hands in sight the whole time," he said but Arakita probably couldn't hear him through his plugs.

The next fifteen minutes passed. Getting hungry again, Toudou asked the stewardess to bring him a sandwich. Shinkai was really stingy with his protein bars, anyway. Arakita didn't so much as bat an eye even though the plane staff saw what he was watching. The film wasn't as hardcore as Toudou has first dreaded, it was more of an example of the genre 'Erotica', but it still showed pretty much everything.

After downing his sandwich, he decided that he'd spent too many minutes sitting next to a half-mute porn addict. He stood up, stretching his muscles, and walked towards the front of the cabin until he reached the desired row of seats. For some reason Maki-chan had teamed up with Sohoku's new climbing wonder, Onoda Sakamichi.

Toudou rested his arm on the back of the aisle seat and peered down at the boy occupying it. "Hey Glasses-kun, wanna change seats with me?"

Onoda stared at him, alarmed. But that was how he always looked like, a hatchling that had fallen out of his nest and found himself in a conversation with a cat.

"W-why?"

"Yeah, why?" Maki-chan asked too.

"I need to speak with Maki-chan."

"Well, we're having a strategy meeting right now."

"Four-eyes is reading a manga and smiling his happy idiot's smile at it."

Maki-chan's eyes didn't waver. "It's a diversion."

"I'm sure."

"Oi, Headband, you can sit here if you like," Naruko Shoukichi offered from the next row. "Hotshot followed me even though I clearly stated I didn't want to sit with him."

"I followed you and climbed over you to sit in the window seat?" Imaizumi Shunsuke remarked. He had plugs in his ears too and he was holding a thick book in his hands. Seemed like an all-around silent and inconspicuous travel mate. Toudou had heard that Naruko and Imaizumi tended to quarrel a lot. Sure, they both were competing over the title of Sohoku's future ace but apparently their personalities clashed as well.

"Yes, that's exactly what happened," Naruko said.

Imaizumi sighed, immersing himself in his book again.

"Thank you, Naruko-kun, but I need to speak with Maki-chan," Toudou said. "Hey Onoda-kun, let's switch just for a while! You'd get to know your opponents a bit better. The person sitting next to me is really nice. I'm sure you'd have a lot to talk about. You could show him your manga." There were cute, half-naked under-aged girls posing on the book cover. Onoda would have so much in common with Arakita.

The boy was glancing sideways down the aisle. "Who's sitting next to you?"

"Um, Arakita."

Onoda's mouth formed a silent scream.

"Are you trying to throw an innocent little boy to the wolves?" Maki-chan asked. "Go back to your seat, Toudou. There's a lot of turbulence above the ocean."

"Then it's good that we're not above the ocean anymore."

"I can go somewhere else for a while if Toudou-san wants to sit here…" Onoda stammered. "I'll just go and see what Manami-kun is doing."

"You don't have to–" Maki-chan began, but Four-eyes was already scurrying down the aisle towards the back where the junior of Hakogaku's litter was probably driving Izumida up the wall. Onoda's appearance would give Izumida an excuse to move to sit next to Arakita and everyone would be happy. Really, Toudou should get a medal for his efforts for the air travelling satisfactory.

"And that's how you get rid of bothersome grubs." He swung himself over to sit on the seat Onoda had abandoned and lifted his leg to rest it casually over the other. Maki-chan had already spread his characteristic scent in the row. Toudou remembered it well because Maki-chan smelled like freshly cut grass. Grass, and money. He had no idea how someone could smell like cold, hard cash, but Maki-chan was from an opulent family after all. Opposite to what one might think, the smell was not unpleasant. More like fresh and… leafy. "So, what has my favourite Spidey been doing during the flight?"

"I've tried to sleep. I'd like to try it again so I'd prefer it if you kept it down."

"Always so polite, Maki-chan. It's only 3 pm. Come on, let's chat for a bit!"

The blue eyes turned to look at him, reluctant. "About what?"

"I don't know, about France?" And the fact that you haven't answered my question.

Maki-chan picked up his bag and pulled out a book which he thrust over to Toudou. "There, read it."

A travel guide to France. Toudou placed it in his lap, unopened. "What are you looking forward to on this holiday?"

"Hmh, the Alpine stage."

"Me too! Man, there's hardly anything like it in Japan!"

Maki-chan huffed and pretended to look out of the window. Toudou just wasn't the person to give up so easily. Maki-chan was an exceptionally unsocial case but the victory was ever the sweeter when you got him to talk.

"It's a shame that Arashiro couldn't keep his position at the Corsica stage though."

"Hmph."

"I really hope we'll get a chance to cycle in France. How great would it be to tell everyone at home that we've cycled around in the Alps? Maybe we could have a little race there, too?"

This raised the tiniest spark of interest in Maki-chan, making him quickly peek at Toudou out of the corner of his eye. But then he turned towards the window again. The view consisted of clouds only. Maybe Maki-chan was admiring his reflection on the glass. Toudou wouldn't have done it, had he looked like that.

Not that Maki-chan was ugly or anything but… well, his features were sharp and pointy and his eyes along with his inverted eyebrows made him look like he'd suffered injustice his whole life, lived in a concentration camp or something. When his forced smile was added into the compilation, it was really like a grotesque horror movie clown – because Maki-chan only rarely smiled on his own. He did possess some sense of fashion, but his face ruined the first impression. Besides, who in the year 2013 wore their hair that long?

Toudou poked Maki-chan in the shoulder. "You sulking cause I beat you in the Inter High?"

He immediately got the green-haired climber's attention. "Good god, no! It was a fair race. Is that how little you think of me?"

Toudou shrugged. No, he didn't think so little of his opponent, but provocation was the best way to get people to end their pouting.

"You didn't even answer my question."

A silent huff left Makishima's lips. "Which question?"

Hmm, Toudou couldn't recall having asked so many questions lately. Naturally he'd called Maki-chan while packing his stuff, asking what he should bring with him and what kind of weather there was in France at the moment. Or in general. Because he had no clue. First Maki-chan told him to check the forecast online, but after some pressuring he'd succumbed and answered Toudou's questions. That's what Maki-chan was like.

"The one I sent you the other night."

"Don't you mean two weeks ago?"

"Heh, I was sure you knew which question I was talking about."

"Of course I did. I just fail to understand why I should answer it. How is that your business? And why are you even interested?"

"Why wouldn't I be? Isn't that a normal question for someone of our age?" If Maki-chan now remarked that the question would have been normal two years ago, Toudou would get a tad embarrassed. In that case he'd have to quickly come up with a good excuse for his curiosity.

"Has somebody asked you that?"

Toudou pretended to think. "No, I suppose not."

"You see? Normal people don't ask each other such questions."

"I disagree. The girls in our class gabble about it all the time."

"Well, girls maybe but they tend to talk about any kind of stuff."

"Perhaps boys should too," Toudou mused. "It would surely reduce the levels of insecurity and stress if you had someone to talk about it with."

Makishima sneered something Toudou couldn't catch. The window appeared to be amazingly interesting again. Toudou waited for a while and then without warning prodded his elbow between his reluctant chatting partner's ribs. This was easy, since Maki-chan had not one gram of fat in his body.

"Stop poking me!"

"I'll stop when you answer my question."

Maki-chan's jaw tightened. "I'm not going to talk about this on a plane where everyone can hear us."

"What are you not going to talk about?" came a voice behind them. Naruko had squeezed his face between the seats as much as he could and was puffing warm air onto their side.

The appearance of the little snotnose got Maki-chan to turn in on himself again, and this time Toudou gave up. He didn't feel like discussing the matter either while Naruko was snooping. He couldn't say that he really knew Sohoku's young sprinter but the boy gave away the impression of an uncontrollable blabbermouth.

Let's switch the topic then. "Have you ever been abroad, Maki-chan?"

"Yeah, I have."

"Really? Where?"

"Hawaii, Thailand."

"What about Europe?"

"When I was a kid, I went to Paris with my family."

"Ooh, so you do know France then!"

"I have no recollection of the trip, I was three years old."

"I reckoned you must have travelled some. Your family is insanely rich after all."

"We're not insanely rich, just normally wealthy."

Two meaningful coughs could be heard from the row in front of them.

Toudou smirked. "See? Bison and Sunglasses agree with me."

The seat in front of him swayed when Sohoku's other sprinter sprung to his feet. The whole plane probably tilted a bit to the right. "Who are you calling a bison, you Barbie doll?"

Barbie doll?!

And Maki-chan had the nerve to chuckle at the insult. Toudou felt like pouting but unfortunately that strategy didn't work with his co-climber.

Ouch, the bull's bellowing was hurting his ears. Toudou blocked his other ear with his finger and continued to talk to Maki-chan. Tadokoro ceased his grumbling only when Kinjou told him to sit down before the staff would start to suspect an act of terrorism.

"Do you know how to speak French, Maki-chan?"

"No."

"Are you good at English?"

"Yeah, he is," came a remark from between the seats. Naruko was still trying to participate in their conversation. No surprise there, his travelling companion didn't seem very talkative.

"But it doesn't help in France. French people refuse to speak English," Maki-chan grunted. "You should know French to communicate with them."

"Damn! Well, fortunately we have Mr. Pierre with us." If the old man even knew French. He seemed to only speak vague Japanese with random English words thrown into the mix.

Maki-chan mumbled something.

"What was that?"

"Just wondering how I'm going to make it through spending ten days in the same car with you."

"Huh, Maki-chan! We're going to have tons of fun!" There was no doubt about it; he and Maki-chan were going to have a blast. He was not sure about the rest of the group, though. Kinjou and Tadokoro for example. Neither one of them appeared to have any sense of humour, and on top of that Tadokoro sounded like a rhino with serious gas issues and occupied the same amount of space. But perhaps those two had enough money to book a hotel room.

No, it was Maki-chan who had a lot of money. Why couldn't he and Toudou book a room? That way they would avoid listening to the whining first-years and groaning savannah animals.

Toudou voiced his idea.

"Yeah, no. Not gonna happen," was Maki-chan's harsh reply.

"What, why not?"

"Number one: The hotels are full. Every single one is booked because of the Tour. Number two: Even if there was a room available, I wouldn't share it with you."

"Hnngh, Maki-chan, that's so insensitive!"

The green-haired climber huffed, dejected. "Toudou, seriously speaking, I'd really like to get some sleep. Would you please consider going back to your own seat?"

"Unfortunately that option is now out of the question."

"Why?"

"You see, Arakita started watching porn on his computer–"

There was an astounded yelp behind them.

"–and I suspect he has reached in his action the point that requires a seriously low morale to watch."

Maki-chan just stared at him.

Toudou leaned closer, whispering not-so-silently. "He's probably masturbating."

At that moment Naruko Shoukichi jumped to his feet and craned over the seats to holler at Kinjou. "Captain! Why in the name of everything that is pure and righteous did we have to bring this depraved troop of Hakogaku monkeys with us?"


A/N: I have no idea why I made Arakita such a pervert, but I'm having so much fun with him that I'm just going to continue in the same way.

I've changed the order of certain events for this fic. Apparently the Inter High was held in August and the Tour de France in July. I don't want there to be a year apart, so let's just pretend the Inter High was held in June.

All the Tour de France details are based on the year 2013's race. :)