Let the fun begin! And please note that I own absolutely nothing. If I did, I'd be a much happier man, and would probably have too much fun with all the characters. I know that chapters from me are coming slowly, but I will not abandon these! They will be finished, and hopefully sooner than later. So, without further drama, lights, curtains, action!
Rito's Many Misfortunes – Arch 1 – Chapter 2
"S-sorry Lala! I need to get used to this..." The pink-haired girl's only reaction was to smile and pat him on the head, indicating through a rather complicated series of gestures that it would be okay, there would be time, and could she please have at least three children? At this point, Rito silently and desparately begged the sky to tell him why exactly this sort of thing always happened to him!
There was nothing worse, Rito had managed to conclude, than walking around during the day with a hyperactive alien who happened to fall into fits of trembling and moaning whenever her tail was touched. Well, actually, there was a thing that could be worse than that. His hand could be stuck to her tail. Which had conveniently managed to happen that morning, as per the regulations of Rito's life.
After half an hour of lying on the floor with a nubile Lala trying to convince him to give her children, Rito had finally managed to convince her that putting clothes back on was the best course of action for the time being. With a familiar cry of "Pekke! Form Change!" Lala was set to go, or at least, presentable outside of his room.
"Lala, are you ready?" Rito asked, throwing a nervous grin at the pinkette happily bouncing up and down on his bed, making it a challenge to keep his hand from moving on her tail. Lala stopped bouncing on the bed and looked up at him with shining eyes before excitedly asking, "So you're ready for us to have kids too?"
"N-no! Lala, that's not what I meant!"
"Aww… well why'd you ask if I was ready then? And for what?
"Um, I don't know. It just seemed appropriate…"
Lala tilted her head to the side, thought undoubtedly deep thoughts for a moment, then tackled Rito to the floor with a glomp that would make whoever invented glomping proud. "Okay! Then I want two little girls!"
Rito slowly tried to stand, then sank down again, resting his back against the door. "L-Lala, that's not what I meant… I meant are you ready to go downstairs now? It's been at least an hour already. And I think I can smell lunch." Lala pouted for a moment, then reluctantly nodded and stood up. Rito sighed and gingerly let himself stand again, before holding open the door for Lala.
It took about point seven seconds for Lala to suddenly break into a giddy smile, grab Rito's hand, and bounce out of the room, down the stairs, and throw him onto the couch in the living room. How she managed to forget that his hand was still *ahem* attached was far beyond Rito's comprehension, but that she was on the ground in another fit of moaning was perfectly clear to anyone within earshot. And this included Mikan, Momo, Nana, and Yami, all of whom were sitting in the kitchen.
With three cries of "Rito! You pervert!" and one "I hate perverts…" the four sprinted into the living room to witness Lala drooling on the floor and Rito with his hand wrapped around her tail. The fact that Rito was lying on the couch in what appeared to be a very comfortable position didn't exactly help his case. Of course, Yami was the first to do something about it. Transforming her hair into a hammer, she knocked Rito off the couch and onto the floor next to Lala, who once again shivered as her tail was jerked. Sprouting blades, she glared at Rito. "Explain." The command was simple and to the point.
"Wait! Its not what it looks like! I swear!" Yami's silver blades pricked the skin of his throat. "This is not my fault! I can't get my hand loose!" To make his point, Rito opened his hand with the palm facing downward. As before, Lala's tail simply remained attached to the palm of his hand. A few moments later, Yami decided that it was okay. For now, at least.
"How did this happen?" she asked, almost freezing Rito with her tone. Her pointed look at Rito made it clear that there had better be a very, very good reason for this sort of ecchi business.
"U-um… I touched one of Lala's incomplete inventions. And then I got my hand stuck to her tail. It's probably going to stay that way for a day or so." Rito glumly explained. "It's not my fault. Well, mostly not my fault. I probably should've known not to go into Lala's lab in the first place…"
"Aw, Rito, you mean you don't like my laboratory?" Lala asked from beside him, disappointment evident in her voice. Rito paled.
"N-no no, I like it fine, I promise!"
"Then why wouldn't you want to go into it?" Rito sweatdropped.
"W-well, it seems like every time that I've gone into there, I seem to come out with some injury or some exotice, alien disease…"
"Oh…" Lala sighed, obviously depressed that her favorite room was a dangerous place for her future husband. Rito frowned. Despite the room being dangerous, it had led to numerous fun and enjoyable memories.
"Don't worry about that, Lala. It's just because I'm unlucky that I get hurt a lot." Smiling, he patted her on the head and ruffled her hair. Lala quickly gained a cherry-red blush (which was, in her case, an extremely unusual reaction, and was to be treasured in memory) and scooted herself over next to Rito, lightly snuggling into his side. Rito remained remarkably calm, and simply allowed himself to enjoy the moment.
"Um, if you two could get a room…" Both Lala and Rito jumped at the sudden comment from a very red-faced Yami, who was making a point of looking away from the two on the floor before her. Momo, Nana, and Mikan were all just as red. The two in question looked at each other and sheepishly rubbed their heads in apology.
"Ehehe… sorry…" Rito stood up, his usual nervous self again. "Did I smell lunch earlier?"
"Yes, you did, Rito," Mikan said, pointing back towards the kitchen table. "We were about to go get you anyways."
"Well that's good then. It smells delicious as usual, Mikan."
Mikan grinned at the usual praise. It made her feel valuable whenever Rito did that sort of thing. The group, now six people, moved over to the dining area. After a communal cry of "Itadakimasu!" everyone but Rito dug into the simple but well made lunch. Rito was having some trouble, namely that he was right handed. And the dang food kept falling out of his chopsticks. He even tried to stab it, all to no avail.
"Dang it!" Rito poked his food with one chopstick, frustrated at his inability to eat. "I can't get this at all!"
"Get what, Rito?" Lala leaned over from her spot next to him at the table. Rito poked his food again. "You're right-handed? I didn't know that!" Rito sweatdropped.
"I-it's been over a year now..." With a sudden sense of foreboding, Rito muttered, "I can't pick up any of my food." Lala tilted her head a little, then grinned at him.
"I'll feed you then!" Without giving Rito a chance to respond, Lala picked up a square of tofu and held it out to Rito. "Say ah!"
"But Lala... Th-this is embarrassing..."
"Say ah!"
"L-lala I rea-!"
"Say ah!"
"F-fine then..." Reluctantly, Rito opened his mouth and allowed Lala to feed him the tofu. It was delicious, and oddly enough, Rito could swear that there was a slightly unusual tang to the food. As he chewed and swallowed, he became aware of the snickers of those around him. Momo, Nana, and Mikan had all been expected, but even Yami was struggling to keep her placid expression straight.
Despite the audience, Lala managed to feed Rito his entire lunch. It took an unusually long time, but it couldn't be helped. Of course, by the end of everything, Rito's face had taken on a hue that would make a firetruck proud. In no shape to do anything at all, Rito slumped back in his chair. The kitchen table, once filled with people, was now thankfully, blessedly devoid of people, excluding Lala.
"Thank you... I think..." He quietly managed to groan. This was definitely the most stressful meal he had ever had. Lala grinned at him, somehow maintaining the constant and ever-cheerful enthusiasm.
"You're welcome! It was fun feeding my future husband!" Standing suddenly, she bounced around the table, circling Rito. Rito stared at her in a somewhat amused manner. How she had so much energy would always be a mystery. Another mystery became apparent moments later.
Lala bounced farther away from Rito than she should have, and immediately became a moaning mound on the floor. Rito sighed and picked himself off the the floor, having fallen off the chair when Lala tried to move to far away.
"Lala, please try to remember that we're um... attached to each other for now..." The only answer he got was a whimper from Lala. With yet another sigh he noticed that Lala had crawled back up to him and was giving him some of the most adorable puppy eyes that this world had seen. "Alright alright... What do you want to do now?"
Rito had been expecting a request to do something, anything. The absolute last thing he had thought might happen was that Lala blushed lightly, looked nervously at the ceiling, and poke her index fingers together. "Um... I-I k-kinda need to go to... to the bathroom..." The request barely came out as a tense whisper.
Rito paled, then paled further when his bladder decided to give him a kick as well. "R-right, that's perfectly reasonable. S-so then, l-lets go..." Cautiously, he stretched a hand out to Lala, who took it and pulled herself up before timidly shuffling down the hall towards the accursed room of bodily relief.
The journey to the bathroom was barely a five second walk from the kitchen table, but it seemed an endless odyssey. When Lala could finally place her hand on the doorknob, time snapped back to the normal rate of passing. Lala's blush increased considerably, and Rito could actually feel her hand trembling in his. This NEVER happened to Lala. She was always energetic, unashamed, and way, way to comfortable around Rito while naked. However, now that Rito was forced to actually think about it, right now, Lala was very, very cute. Too cute for his comfort.
"Absolutely n-no peeking, alright?" Lala's voice left her body the same way a small bird would flutter away after being startled. That is to say, her voice sounded unsure, frightened, and skittish.
"O-of course not!" Rito stuttered out, before quickly facing away from the bathroom. Lala nodded, then closed the door behind her as much as possible. With a start, Rito became aware of the ruffling coming from the bathroom. She's actually naked in there! She's... She's... Rito shook his head, then started humming loudly to cover up the sounds of Lala relieving herself. Of course she's naked, she's going to the bathroom. IDIOT, Rito berated himself. No ecchi thoughts, no ecchi thoughts, not now, anyway... Must... keep... thoughts... PG-13... don't think about the incredibly cute girl that has chosen you as her fiance and is in an incredibly vulnerable state at the moment, don't even- !
A tap on his shoulder dragged Rito out of his thoughts and caused him to jump back with a girly scream. Jumping back also caused his hand to stroke Lala's tail, leading her to fall forward onto him in an unavoidably sexual way. A few seconds of Lala breathing heavily allowed Rito to temporarily regain his scrambled wits. He stood abruptly, helping Lala up as he did so.
"I-I'm done..." Lala said shakily, then grinned as if nothing had happened. Rito groaned. Her grin meant she was back to normal. And that meant he would have to deal with all two hundred and seven percent energy output.
"Right." Rito edged toward the bathroom door. "I... I kinda have to go too... um... yeah..." He slipped into the bathroom, closing the door softly. He reached for his fly, only to realize that the hand he'd usually use was blocked by her tail. Rito started to move his left hand to do the job, when Lala's tail twitched unexpectedly, brushing against his leg. After a second of hesitation, Rito unzipped his fly. Lala's tail twitched again, this time reaching his left hand and brushing against it. Rito froze again.
With an incredulous look, he tried again to move his hand. Again, Lala's tail impeded its movement. Rito frowned slightly. He tried again. Same result. Except this time, her tail moved to caress his pants in a definitely not timid or shy manner. Rito growled lightly. He tried moving again, then What followed was a ten minute long battle of Rito's hand vs. Lala's tail, and was ended when Rito held his right hand above his head, squeezing and pulling on Lala's tail and eliciting a loud moan and thud from the the hallway behind him. With a victorious smirk, Rito finished his business and returned to the hallway. Lala was leaning against the wall next to the door, grinning innocently at Rito.
"What took you so long?" Rito looked pointedly at Lala.
"As if you don't know..." Lala didn't even bat an eye. Instead, she opted to hang on to Rito's arm and pull him into the main room, where Mikan and the twins were watching TV with Celine. Lala hugged Rito, then plopped herself down on the couch.
"Rito! It's Magical Girl Kyoko! Come watch with me!" Lala shouted excitedly. A quick jerk of her tail brought Rito crashing into the sofa, his face shoved deep into her lap. Momo grinned devilishly at Rito, scooting from her seat next Mikan to the other side of Rito.
"How forward of you..." She purred and contentedly groped Rito's buttocks.
"Hey! Cut that out!" Rito growled, righting himself to sit on the couch, this time in a proper position.
For a while (to be exact, the duration of the one episode of Magical Girl Kyoko), the truce was held. Mikan, Celine, and Nana left after the show, but Momo and Lala stayed on the couch, sandwiching Rito between them.
The second that the last of the others had left, Momo grinned at Rito in a manner that made him feel rather like a piece of meat in front of a starved animal. Probably some large hunting cat, thought Rito, before realizing that the thing poking the borderline of his pants was definitely NOT attached to himself. Momo licked her lips and gently rubbed herself against Rito's arm. He was still slightly surprised to notice that it was her hand that was strafing the waistband of his jeans. On his other side, Lala was meekly leaning onto him, resting her head on his shoulder in an unusual moment of calmness. However, her tail was coiling itself around his arm. Rito could almost swear she was purring.
Turning to his left, Rito gave Momo an annoyed look. "Momo... What are you doing?"
"Oh nothing, nothing,... I just want my daily dose of zinc..." Rito looked puzzled.
"What?" Instead of answering in words, Momo held her hand in front of her mouth and preformed a very crude impression of someone choking on something... else... In any case, Rito immediately turned tomato red and sunk into the couch cushions. Strangely enough, it was Lala who objected to the motions that her sister was performing.
"Momo! Cut that out! Today, Rito is my husband!" Momo and Rito were shocked. They had never, ever heard Lala actually sound angry. Sure, there were times when she had been annoyed, but never actually angry. "He is mine today, so you go off somewhere now and leave us be. At least, until it's your turn." Lala growled.
"Okay okay, I get it already..." Momo muttered. Giving one last wink to Rito, she sauntered out of the room, probably to go find her twin and Mikan. Rito stared at Lala, quite impressed.
"Lala, I had no idea you had that in you..."
"I don't normally, but then again..." Lala resumed her usual happiness and enthusiasm. "Today you're my husband!"
Rito nodded and sighed. "I should have expected that answer..."
Lala grinned at him, then gave him a hug. "Yep." With that, she snuggled into his side and once again purred in contentment. Rito was tempted to run away again, but considering that he had Lala's tail coiled around his right arm, and that the position he was in was really, really comfy, he decided that staying in place was definitely the best option. And so, he let himself lean against the beautiful alien at his side.
There! Another chapter finally done! The next should definitely be the last of this particular arc, and will probably be a lemon. The next arc is up to you guys! I'll write whichever character is asked for, and if not, the next up is Yami. Also, apologies for any OoCness, I couldn't resist the temptation. Please review! It helps me loads!
