A/N: I forgot to mention it in the last chapter, but I got the idea for Merlin's Horse's name from a great fic by KnightOwl17 called Red. Thank you for the great reviews! Now on with the story!
Chapter 2: Time Apart
Gili gulped down the majority of his mead and slammed the cup down on the table determinedly. His eyes wandered over to follow Daisy, the busty blonde bar maid, with resolution. Today was the day. Today, he was going to work up the courage to talk to her!
He fingered the magic ring in his pocket, fighting the urge to put it on. He could do this. He didn't need a magic ring to talk to a girl. He could do this! With one last inhaled breath, Gili moved to get to his feet….
And was blocked as a hooded figure slipped into the seat beside him.
"Excuse me, but I'm about to go meet the love of my life." Gili told the stranger and tried to move past him. The man chuckled, the sound hauntingly familiar, but he couldn't place the voice to a name until the man spoke.
"Sorry Gili, but she'll have to wait. I need a favor."
"Merlin!" Gili exclaimed, shaking his friends hand with honest pleasure at seeing the man. But then his words registered and the grin slid off his face.
"I'm not going to like this favor very much, am I?"
Merlin had the decency to wince and look a fair bit ashamed of himself.
"No, sorry Gili but I don't think you will."
Gili sighed and shrugged. He did owe Merlin, and he had a sneaking suspicion that Merlin could probably blast his socks off if he wanted to, but besides that; the dark haired man was his friend. Even in the dingy light of the tavern, he could see the set of Merlin's face and watched him with concern.
"Hey, are you alright? You don't look so good?"
"I'm fine." Merlin brushed off his concern with the practiced words that Gili didn't believe for one second "it's just been a trying couple of days, that's all."
Gili nodded, understanding that Merlin probably needed his space and wouldn't push him to talk about something he didn't want to.
"So what's this favor?" He asked, taking a sip of his drink.
"I need you to go to Camelot and protect Arthur."
Gili spluttered and coughed, spitting out the most of the sip he'd just taken.
"Are you completely mad?" He hissed at the other sorcerer "Go back to Camelot? The place where magic is illegal and they cut off your head for it? To protect the King who would be the one cutting off my head!?"
"Gili, please." Merlin looked at him with a desperate kind of look in his eyes that made him think that the situation really must have gotten bad. He took another swig of his drink knowing full well that he couldn't deny his fellow sorcerers request. He wasn't happy about it though.
"Why can't you do it?" He complained "I though protecting the king of Camelot was your pet project?"
Merlin gulped and looked away. In fact, he looked like he was fighting not to burst into tears right there in the pub and suddenly Gili felt guilty for asking the question. He didn't think Merlin was going to answer until the other man squeaked out in a small voice;
"I've been banished."
Gili let out a low whistle of appreciation. Yes, things really had gotten bad. If he had thought Merlin seamed lonely before, he couldn't imagine what the road ahead held for the good hearted warlock. He placed a friendly hand on his shoulder.
"I'm sorry." He said sincerely. "If you need me to go protect Arthur, then I can be in Camelot by tomorrow night."
Merlin wiped the tears from his eyes, so grateful to have a friend like Gili and also relieved that Arthur would have another person to look after him.
"Thank you. And you won't be alone! I'll have to put you in touch with Alator and the Catha so you can coordinate watching him in shifts. They've agreed to help protect him as well, and I'll show you where I've set up all the magical wards and warning systems within the castle."
"Are you expecting an attack?"
"Arthur can hardly go a week without being attacked by something." Merlin said with a roll of his eyes. He handed Gili a map and pointed out all of the warded areas, as well as some secret tunnels and passageways that would help them to move around without being seen. When they were done, Gili resolved to set off first thing in the morning as Merlin made to leave.
"Merlin?" He called after him. The warlock pulled on a dark blue cloak that Gili's trained eye could tell had been magic'd from its original color. "You're going to be alright, aren't you?"
Merlin flashed Gili a sad smile that didn't ease the sorcerer's worries. He pulled up his hood, hiding his face and disappeared into the night.
Arthur sat up in bed with jolt, his heart racing and his breathing coming in quick heaves. Beside him, Gwen slept on peacefully and he was careful not to wake her as he swung his feet out of the bed. This was the second night in a row he had had nightmares, and coincidently the second night after Merlin had been banished. Arthur rested his elbows on his knees, trying to expel the remnants of his dream and replace them with reality.
He had dreamed that he was burning a sorcerer in the courtyard. From the balcony he had looked down at the pyre and the growing crowd as the faceless sorcerer was attached to the stake. There was no remorse or hesitation when he'd given the order to light the fire, only the satisfaction that came from eliminating another threat to his people.
But as the fire had crackled and the sorcerer had screamed in pain, the voice crying out became more and more familiar. Looking down again, he could just make out Merlin's very familiar features through the crackling flames. The voice too became more distinct and Arthur suddenly recognized that Merlin wasn't crying out in pain, but was screaming Arthurs name over and over again- a desperate plea for help.
That's when Arthur had woken up, right at the moment of realization that his friend was going to die by his hand and calling out for him to help. A shudder racked his shoulders, the dreams awful clarity haunting him every time he blinked.
And then reality seeped in and it was almost as bad as the dreams. The cold hard truth was that Merlin was gone, forever. Arthur was never going to see him again. On the bright side (or more like dark grey side), this meant that there was no way for Arthurs dream to become a reality. Out of all the shocks he had encountered in the throne room that day, the one he understood the most was his absolute certainty that no matter what, he would never burn Merlin like his father had burned so many other sorcerers. That would never happen. He didn't even think he could execute Merlin in any way if he had to. Killing Merlin just seemed too much like killing a part of himself.
Suddenly restless, Arthur threw on a pair of boots and a loose tunic. He let his feet wander about, the castle mostly deserted in the infantile hour of the morning. He needed space and room to think, and that happened best when he was moving.
His feet somehow led him to the physician's chambers and it was only because he knew no one would be inside that he let himself in. They were exactly the way he had always remembered them, smelling slightly of herbs and paper. The only differences being the absence of the light, which cast the room into shades of grey and blue giving it a dejected feel, punctuated by the absence of another human soul. Arthur couldn't remember the last time he had been in that room without either Merlin or Gaius being present as well.
He made his way to the back, and without stopping to really consider why he was doing it, Arthur went into Merlin's room. It too was exactly how he remembered it, Merlin's other set of clothes still laying out neatly on a chair by the bed where he had left them. Arthur gingerly picked up the light blue handkerchief, (Merlin had been wearing the red one when he left) and ran the material through his fingers.
He sat down on the bed and missed Merlin so much it hurt. Over and over again he questioned himself, why? Why had Merlin chosen magic? Had it been Arthur's fault? He had always teased Merlin about being useless and called him an idiot, but he'd never meant those things. Surely Merlin knew that? Arthur hoped to any higher power who would listen that this hadn't been Merlin's motivation. He hoped he hadn't been the one to drive Merlin to the Dark Arts, but at the same time this explanation fit more with the Merlin he knew than anything else he had considered. He could see Merlin feeling useless and craving a way to contribute when Camelot was inevitably attacked again. He just wished he had found something else other than magic.
Then there was his dream, with the faceless sorcerer morphing into Merlin and his friend calling out to him from beneath a blanket of flames. Arthur was struck by the sudden and earthshattering realization that each person that was burned for sorcery was someone's Merlin. Each sorcerer had a family and loved ones who had to watch as they burned. With the memory of Merlin's screams still haunting his ears, Arthur could understand a lot better why so many family members of dead sorcerers swore revenge. He wasn't sure he would do any different.
He was also struck with the understanding that he could never justify the burning of a sorcerer again. He knew without a doubt that if he were put in that position, he wouldn't be able to kill a sorcerer just for being a sorcerer. Not after Merlin.
Arthur hadn't even realized he'd fallen asleep until a clatter in the next room woke him. He groggily lifted his head from Merlin's pillow, light streaming in through the window telling him it was morning. Merlin's blue neckerchief was wrapped tightly around his wrist.
"Where do you want this?" Gwaine gruff voice echoed back from the other side of the door. Gaius answered tersely.
"Just put it down by the door, I'll have Merlin move it later."
They didn't know yet. Gaius and Gwaine had returned from their trip and they didn't know yet that Merlin was gone. Arthur was hit by a sudden wave of cowardice, wanting desperately to be out of the room without having to walk by Gaius and Gwaine. He didn't think he could face Gaius, who was like a father to Merlin. The older man would never forgive him. He wasn't sure if he could forgive himself.
Arthur heard a knock on the far door and someone move to open it.
"Percy, Leon!" Gwaine greeted jovially. "Come to help us unpack, huh mates?"
There must have been something serious in their expressions, because Arthur could practically hear the smile slip off Gwaine's face.
"I'll take that as a no, then?"
"Gwaine, something's happened." Percival said, and Arthur could hear his heavy footsteps as he and Leon entered the room.
"What's wrong?" Gaius questioned immediately, the physician in him taking over "Is anyone injured?"
"No, not physically." Leon sighed before continuing "Morgana attacked three days ago. She brought a small force of Assassins with her and was able to make it into the throne room and hold us all at knife point. I thought we were goners for sure…."
"What stopped her?" Gaius asked with a growing dread.
"Merlin." Percival answered, the one word explaining everything to the physician.
He knew, Arthur thought, Gaius knew about Merlin's magic. Of course he had known about the magic, they did live together. Maybe he was even the one who taught him. The thought filled him with a growing rage that disintegrated the moment he heard the sadness in the older man's voice.
"Oh my poor boy." Arthur heard the sound of a chair being drawn up and Gaius collapsing into it. "Is he dead?"
"Banished." Percival corrected "He left right after it happened."
"What?!" Gwaine practically screamed "Merlin's been banished? That's impossible! Arthur would never banish Merlin. Me: probably, Gwen: maybe, but never Merlin! Arthur can't pick out his own socks without Merlin!"
"He used magic, Gwaine" Leon said in a hard voice. "In front of the entire court. We are lucky he made it out of Camelot alive." The knight's voice was troubled with past memories of other sorcerers caught and forced to die. He had been eight years old when the great purge started, old enough to remember the screaming and the rows of dead waiting to be burned. He had always hated the executions of those with magic, usually making up an excuse not to be present. Especially the children. He hated when it was children. And he had liked Merlin, considered him a friend even. Leon was just thankful his loyalties to his king hadn't been tested.
"Shit." Gwaine cursed. "Shit. Shit shit. Shit! What direction did he go?"
"You can't follow him, Gwaine. He's been banished." Leon cautioned.
"Yes, well, banishments generally tend to be a short term kind of thing in this kingdom, don't they? I'm not leaving him out there on his own."
"Trust me, after what we saw in the throne room, Merlin can take care of himself" Percival said, with a bit of awe at Merlin's raw power.
"Well I don't care two flying flips if he's a powerful sorcerer or a silly manservant." Gwaine announced with conviction. "Merlin was the first friend I ever had and the first person to see me as something other than just another drunk. After what you've just said, I figure he needs a few friends around right now. Are you coming?"
"Merlin made us promise to stay and protect Arthur." Percival explained while sounding like he very much wanted to break his word and join Gwaine on his hunt.
"He also said to tell you not to worry," Leon added gently to Gaius, who had been very quiet ever since he'd learned Merlin's fate.
"Well I made no such promises." Gwaine muttered and stormed out the door, Percival following on his heels shortly after.
"Are you alright, Gaius?" Leon asked kindly.
"I've known this day might come from the moment he first set foot in this room. I thought I was prepared, but….I just pray he's safe."
"So do we all, Gaius. So do we all." And with that, Leon quietly left Gaius alone to grieve the loss of his ward.
On the other side of the door, Arthur rested his forehead against the wood and sighed. He hadn't expected the pain of Merlin's loss to be as evident in his knights as it was for him, but in reflection it wasn't surprising. Merlin had been popular and well liked among all the knights. His sunny disposition and easy trust made him a target for pranks, but he always took it with a good humor and a smile. Gwaine's speech about Merlin being his first friend held true for Arthur as well. Merlin had been the first one to see him as anything other than a spoiled prince, he had believed in the man Arthur could be. He was secretly glad Gwaine was going after him, a part of him wishing he could go with him.
Something Gaius had said struck a chord and finally spurred Arthur to open the door and enter the physician's chambers. Gaius was sitting in a chair looking absently into the fire, lost in his own thoughts. He nearly jumped out of his own skin when Arthur cleared his throat to announce his presence.
"Sire, you startled me."
"I'm sorry," Arthur apologized as he took in the older mans harried appearance. He felt the need to apologize for more and whispered a more dejected "I'm sorry."
"It's alright. Can I help you with something?"
"I…." Arthur started, and under Gaius's intense gaze and arched eyebrow his nerve almost broke. But Gaius was the only link to the truth he had now that Merlin was gone. "I need to ask you a few questions."
Gaius stiffened but answered "Ask away, sire."
"You knew about Merlin, about the magic."
"That's not a question, your majesty." Gaius sighed.
"Do you know why he didn't tell me?" Arthur asked, surprising himself with the question. The moment it was out of his mouth he realized the stupidity of it. Of course he knew why Merlin hadn't told him, he was the king and magic was against the law. Yet the more he thought about it, the more the question bothered him. He trusted Merlin with everything. Why hadn't Merlin trusted him?
"He wanted to, many times, but I was usually the one who convinced him not to." Gaius admitted as Arthur's eyes shot up to meet his, shocked by the honest confession.
"Why?"
"Arthur, your father was my dearest friend. He was a wise and good king, and I am proud to have served him. However, when it came to magic Uther could be blind and ruthless. I stood by his side and watched as he hunted down and slaughtered hundreds, many of whom had been my own friends and family. I have seen so many killed, I couldn't bare it to see Merlin meet the same fate."
"I am not my father." Arthur said with a clenched jaw.
"No, you are not." Gaius admonished "But you have spent most of your life trying to be like him. After Morgana's betrayal, how could I have expected you to accept Merlin for who he is? And it appears I wasn't wrong, was I?"
"Excuse me?" Arthur said, rage building at the physicians accusation. The physicians own temper swelled as well.
"You banished him, Arthur! You sent away the one person who has sacrificed more for you than any other, who has saved your life more times than you could even count! Just for being who he is!"
"Merlin chose this!" Arthur yelled, forgetting he was talking to a grieving old man and venting the feelings that had been churning inside him. "He betrayed the laws of Camelot and by extension me by practicing magic. He lied to me, his king, for years! You said you'd known this day could come from the moment he walked in. Does that mean Merlin was practicing magic even then? That he's been practicing magic for close to ten years without anyone knowing? How am I supposed to trust someone like that? How do we know he wasn't just like all the others, biding his time and waiting for the perfect moment to seize more power for himself?"
Gaius had buried his face in his withered hands as Arthur shouted, trying to shield himself from the awful words. He shouldn't have to be the one to do this, it should be Merlin defending himself, explaining to the king. But Merlin was god knew where, on his own, and there was little chance of him ever coming back.
Arthur had never seen Gaius look so old, and was immediately guilty for unleashing his frustrations on the physician. He felt even more so when Gaius lowered his hands to reveal tear streaked cheeks and overflowing eyes.
"Merlin was born with his magic." Gaius explained in a small voice thick with tears. "His mother said his eyes glowed gold from the first time they opened and he could levitate his toys in the air by the time he was six months old. The first thing he saw after walking through the gates of Camelot for the first time was a sorcerer being executed. Yet despite this, when he arrived in this room he didn't hesitate to use his magic to save my life." Gaius smiled a little at the memory and pointed to the spot up the stairs "I was standing up there when the railing broke. I would have fallen to my death without Merlin's quick thinking. Without even an incantation or spell he moved the bed to catch my fall. Truly powerful magic."
"He didn't chose it?" Arthur muttered, mostly to himself. This revelation changed everything, even if Arthur couldn't exactly work out how. He hadn't even known it was possible for a person to be born with magic. And Gaius's story sounded so much like something his Merlin would do, not the all-powerful sorcerer who had replaced him. A small part of him began to hope; maybe his manservant wasn't totally gone.
"Why come to Camelot, of all the places he could go, why here?"
"Because I was here." Gaius told the king. "It was getting harder and harder for Merlin to control his magic without being discovered, so his mother sent him to me- the only living magic user she knew. A long time ago during the purge she would help me smuggle sorcerers out of Camelot. One of which was Merlin's father."
Arthur had to close his eyes. So his father had hunted and tried to kill Merlin's father. Had he seceded? He was about to ask more when Leon came charging through the door.
"Gaius, have you seen…..?" he trailed off, spotting Arthur, whom was obviously the person he'd been looking for. "Arthur, there you are!"
"What's wrong?" Arthur asked, recognizing the apprehensive look on his most trusted knight's face. Leon gulped and glanced once at Gaius before speaking.
"Sire, its Red, the horse Merlin took with him. She's returned."
A thrill of dread swept through Arthur. Merlin's horse was back, but not Merlin? Gaius wrung his hands together with worry and said "That doesn't really mean anything, Merlin probably sent her back so he wouldn't have another mouth to feed."
"I don't think so, Gaius." Leon said, and for the first time Arthur noticed how very pale he was. "Her coat is covered in blood."
