My muse is in a good mood right now, I already have two chapters up! (thirteen more to go...oh gosh...)
Dissin' da Claim! The only things I own in here are myself (at least, I owned myself the last time I checked...my brother may have finally succeeded in auctioning me off on eBay...) and THE AWESOME CUPCAKES OF CHAOS. Orihime and Sado belong to Tite Kubo, and the Teletubbies belong to whoever invented them. (by the way, the song Orihime is singing in the beginning can be found in Bleach chapter three)
AN/ huh, I just realised I forgot to disclaim Uchiha Sasuke, Orochimaru, Kabuto and the Narutoverse. Whoops.
"Raa is Raa from Ramen, Shi is Shinigawa Sushi's Shi, now let's sing…" Inoue Orihime sang as she skipped down the sidewalk. She had a bag full of groceries in her right hand. In the bag were all the materials for her dinner tonight: red bean paste, sourdough bread, jelly beans, and Tabasco sauce. Orihime was sure that they would make a good soup, but she felt it was missing something…something sweet…
"Oh, look!" Orihime exclaimed, "A cupcake!"
Orihime scurried over to the cupcake, which was sitting in a plain plate on top of a pedestal. It had a floral muffin tin and orange icing. Orihime thought it looked a bit like Ichigo.
"What a pretty cupcake!" Orihime said, "I think I'll add it to my soup!"
I arrived just in time to see Orihime go skipping off again, cupcake in one hand and her bag of miscellaneous food items in the other.
"This ought to be good," I thought as I quietly followed the orange haired girl.
"And add some jelly beans, and it's done!"
Orihime couldn't wait until dinner to have her red bean paste/sourdough bread/jelly bean/Tabasco sauce/cupcake soup, so she decided to have it for lunch. A strange aroma filled the kitchen, enough to make any sane person gag. Orihime, however, was far from sane when it came to foods.
Dipping a spoon into the nauseous mixture (I was trying not to barf, I could smell it through the window), Orihime tasted her soup.
On a side note, if she entered that witch's brew into a science fair, she'd be a shoo-in for universal first place.
Her eyes lit up with glee. The soup was FANTASTIC! It had the perfect combination of sweetness, spiciness, sourness, and bean pastiness.
"I must find whoever made this cupcake, and get their recipe," Orihime stated, her fists curled in determination, "I want to make this soup all the time!"
Who knew what went on in her mind to think that such a disgusting combination could actually taste good? I only hoped that being stewed with such a wide variety of flavours and kinds of foods wouldn't neutralise the love potion in the AWESOME CUPCAKE OF CHAOS. If the love potion was still in effect, then Orihime would get a sudden urge to share the cupcake with someone…
"I have a sudden urge to share this cupcake stew with someone," Orihime declared.
Well, that was freaky.
Orihime ran out the door so fast I nearly fell over the railing on the walkway in front of her apartment trying to hide. It was only because of my uber-ninja powers (hi-YAH!) that I was able to disappear, Anbu-style. (So in reality, I did in fact fall over the railing. But let's just pretend I'm a ninja…yeah…)
"Let's see…who to find…" Orihime said to herself, shading her eyes as she looked around for someone to share her cupcake soup with. From my crumpled position in the bushes below, I could see a pair of large feet walking down the road.
"SADO-KUUUUUN!"
Orihime raced down the stairs and threw herself onto Sado Yasutora, also known as Chad, who was looking thoroughly confused. At least, I think he was confused. It was hard to tell with his emo-hair falling in front of his face. How does he see through that mop?
"Uh…"
And there you have it. A stellar example of the entire collection of Chad's vocabulary expressed in a single…sound. He considered himself too emo to say anything.
"Sado-kun, I never realised how handsome you are, and how awesome you are, and how much I looove you!" Orihime was babbling, "I think your emo-ness is really hot! You're even more emo than Uchiha Saskue!"
Somewhere in the Naruto-verse…
"HACKSHOOZLES!" Sasuke sneezed.
"Sasuke-kun, what was that horrific sound? Did you get into my secret stash of Twinkies again? You know what they do to you," Orochimaru asked.
Sasuke looked around suspiciously, "No, I think someone was insulting my emo-ness!"
And then Sasuke ran off to go find something sharp and shiny to prove that he is very emo, leaving Orochimaru to count his collection of Twinkies and make sure that all of them were still there.
"KABUTO YOU STOLE ONE OF MY TWINKIES!" Orochimaru roared, and ran off to find his assistant, murder in his eyes. No one messes with Orochimaru's Twinkies.
Chad: "Uh…"
Translation: "WTF? What are you doing Orihime? Did you put something radioactive in your food again?"
Orihime shook her head, "No silly! I just looove you!"
Chad was looking very uncomfortable. At least, as uncomfortable as he could look without ruining his emo image. Then Chad decided that there was too much emotion to deal with, so he turned and walked away.
And then was knocked over by Orihime's Santen Kesshun, which had suddenly appeared in front of him.
Chad: "Oof."
Translation: "What in the world was that for? Warn people before you spontaneously throw shields in front of them!"
Orihime skipped back over to Chad, singing, "I just looove Chad, he's so emo, I just looove Chad, he's so…"
She paused.
"What rhymes with emo?"
Chad simply stared. This was weird. Usually Orihime acted like this around Ichigo. Maybe Orihime really did put something radioactive in her food.
In that case, Chad needed to make his escape very soon, before the effects of whatever Orihime had eaten spread to him. Chad did not want to lose his emo-ness and be reduced to the level of Uchiha Sasuke.
Somewhere in the Naruto-verse…
"AKALACHOOZELS!" Sasuke sneezed.
"NOO! SOMEONE IS DOUBTING MY EMO-NESS!" Sasuke screamed, "I AM MORE EMO THAN ANYONE!11‼‼1"
Sasuke started pacing, wondering how he could prove his emo-ness.
"I know, I'll go destroy Konoha, and claim it was because I was mad at the village for killing off my family! I'll blame it on Danzo, 'cause he's just creepy with all his creepy-smile-ness and 'I'm emo because I have a ton of bandages' stuff!"
And so Sasuke went to do just that. But he was thwarted in the attempt because Uzumaki Naruto beat him in a sissy fight and went on to become Hokage, forcing Sasuke to wear pink and be not-emo for the rest of his life. Basically, be Sakura.
The End.
"El Directo," Chad said, and aimed a blast into the ground. If he was going to run away, then he had to do it in a badass way. Which meant firing a large blast of energy and smoke while hi-tailing it out of there so that it would look like he disappeared.
Unfortunately, Orihime's intelligence level suddenly skyrocketed, and she knew exactly where Chad was going. She sent Koten Zanshun to stop him. Chad retaliated with another badass blast of energy and smoke to the ground. This time he was able to get away.
Chad ran through the streets, but he didn't run like a sissy. He ran emo-ly, with his head down so he couldn't see anything. Occasionally Chad would run through brick walls or cars, but none of that stopped him. He was too emo to be stopped.
"Sado-kuuun!" Orihime cried, sending her Koten Zanshun after Chad again, "Why are you running!"
I tagged along, keeping out of sight and trying to avoid the aftershocks of Chad's emo-running through solid objects. This was getting to be quite interesting, and best of all, no strange/weird/creepy/all of the above people were dropping out of plot-holes. Which I still had yet to find.
Suddenly, something appeared in the sky and landed right on top of me. It was large, it was purple, and it was carrying a red handbag.
This definitely fit the 'all-of-the-above' option, although 'people' didn't quite apply.
"WHAT THE HECK IS A TELETUBBY DOING HERE?" I roared. Or tried to, at least. It's kind of hard to sound angry and pissed when you have a giant purple monster/creature thing sitting on you.
"Tinky Winky sad," the purple creature said and stood up. Then it saw Orihime.
"Tinky Winky like lollypop girl!" Tinky Winky, I'm assuming that's its name, because it sounds like its talking in third-person, exclaimed and ran over to Orihime and hugged her. Why did it think Orihime was a lollypop? No clue. Maybe it was the hair.
"No! I must catch Sado-kun!" Orihime screeched, "I need to feed him the cupcake soup!"
"Lollypop girl come with Tinky Winky!" Tinky Winky cried, and promptly disappeared into thin air with Orihime. Chad was nowhere to be seen.
Well, crap.
Having Orihime kidnapped is probably a bad thing. Ichigo might be mad.
Ichigo: -appears and slaps me-
Me: WFT?
Ichigo: -disappears-
Me: ...I think there is something drastically wrong here...things keep appearing where they shouldn't...
R&R?
Oh, and if you have any suggestions for future (humorous) pairings, let me know!
