Thank you for all the story likes and follows! This is the "true" beginning of the story. The idea for this came to me and evolved every time I listened to P!nk's Beautiful Trauma. Therefore, the chapters are organized around the lyrics of the song. (I'm a songfic-y type of person.)
*.*.*.*
two — we were on fire
we were on fire
I slashed your tires
it's like we burned so bright, we burned out
I made you chase me
I wasn't that friendly
my love, my drug, we're fucked up
Training new Avengers was hard. Well, the training itself wasn't too difficult. It was the constant ... what's the word?
Oh right.
Parenting.
It was like they were parenting them.
Especially Vision, the robot with a conscious, because he doesn't understand that going through walls isn't always a great idea, and mentally downloading all internet content of a person while you're talking to them is also not very nice. He was like a toddler. An extremely smart, technological, and flying toddler.
Rhodes was an instigator — he loved to casually cause chaos and then make it worse. He and Sam would turn the house upside down while fight-training, and then they ruined the garden Pepper put in, smashed the shed Vision built for himself, and broke the tire swing Steve had put up. (They're not allowed to practice anywhere other than the training rooms downstairs right now.)
Wanda was a different story. She had been a pawn in psychological warfare, in addition to being severely neglected and emotionally abused. She needed to talk to someone (a professional), but it took months of nightmares and mood swings before she admitted it to herself. She's much better now, and she enjoys taking part of "family game night" where the six of them play games or watch movies and drink until they're all stumbling to bed. Occasionally, they are joined by Tony or even Thor if he happened to be on Earth.
Today had been a prime example of the "family game night" previously mentioned. Sam and Rhodey found water guns and were shooting at each other (they claimed it was educational because they were "practicing") but then Natasha got hit with water. Actually, she got soaked with water. Once she had a water gun, she hit Wanda and Steve, who also immediately joined in on the fun.
When they weren't parenting or on missions, Steve and Natasha spent a lot of time together. Things had grown from a friendship, she thought (although she didn't let herself think that too often). He also thought that he should do something about their relationship and non-relationship, but he didn't know what.
She had a plan. Sneak attack, jump him, dump the water on him, laugh a lot.
What she didn't anticipate was him catching her and dumping the water on her.
She let out a squeal and tried to squirm away, but he didn't let go as he laughed at her misfortune. His laughter faded away as she stared up at him, a dazed glint in her eye. He looked down at her, their closeness suddenly very noticeable, but he still didn't let go.
The water guns were long forgotten with a small thud on the floor as he bent his head down to initiate the kiss. Natasha didn't realize she made a small noise — it a whimper or a moan or maybe even a combination of both — as her arms snaked around his neck, forcefully pulling him closer as her fingers threaded through his hair. Steve's arms wrapped around her waist loosely, yet possessively. Worried that he wasn't doing this whole kissing thing correctly, he slowly pulled away (against his body's wishes) and looked at her through half-lidded eyes. She looked up at him with a giddy smirk and glistening eyes, and he was suddenly very confident in his abilities.
This was not like their escalator kiss in DC — though that had been wonderful too — no, no, this was so much more. This kiss grew stronger and more intense as the seconds flew by. Steve alternated between kissing, biting, and sucking on her bottom lip (when did he learn how to do that?) and it just solidified the thoughts that she didn't allow herself to typically think about. Now, when she thought about the kiss, she dubbed it as the "damn-boy-I-want-to-say-I-do-let's-fight-the-bad-guys-and-make-babies" type of kiss. The type of kiss that made her realize she wanted to do this for the rest of her life.
She really hoped he felt the same.
With every minute that passed, more and more of their bodies touched, but it wasn't as frenzied as before. It was slower and more languid, yet just as powerful. Somehow Steve's hands found their way to her ass and he hesitated before gently squeezing and pulling their bottom half's together. They both groaned at the contact. Natasha could not move, her body was frozen, but oh man, she could feel everything. Her body was on fire, everywhere he touched lit a line of heat and passion. The pit of her stomach was tingling with excitement.
He was no longer attacking her lips but rather her jaw and neck. He found a really sensitive spot at the junction of her jawbone and ear and she suddenly found her ability to move. She gripped his hair, effectively holding him in place, moaned softly in his ear, and untucked his shirt from his pants. One of his hands slipped under her wet shirt and he trailed his fingers up her spine, inching closer to her bra clasp with only a few reservations about it.
(I'd love to tell ya they were able to go on, but sadly, the world's best interrupter did it's best job at bringing them back to reality.)
Natasha was just about to undo Steve's belt buckle when his cell phone rang. They abruptly pulled away from each other, looking like deers caught in car headlights. Natasha quickly put space in between the two of them. She could still feel his hands on her even though there was a good three feet of empty space between them.
They were breathing heavily and staring at each other. The phone rang again ... and again ... and again.
Not trusting her voice, Natasha whispered, "you should probably answer that."
Steve nodded and slowly looked away from her. With one last glance, he cleared his throat and picked up the phone to answer it. "Steve." His voice was the last thing she needed to hear as it just stirred up more arousal in her. His voice was deep and husky, and it was not the only thing that gave away his serious arousal.
— wink wink —
Natasha had to get out of there. Willing her legs to move, she went to locate Sam, Wanda, and Vision after she heard the words "when do you need us by?" come out of Steve's mouth. There was a new mission for them to accomplish.
There was always a new mission.
*.*.*.*
It was probably best they couldn't continue.
Yeah, that's right, Steve nodded to himself. If they had continued, it would've possibly ruined a great fucking friendship and made things a hell of a lot more awkward.
(Or they could have had the time of their lives and it would have been the beginning of something phenomenal.)
No, he couldn't think like that. If he thought like that, he wanted to disregard everything they were currently dealing with and kiss her in the middle of this plane and cause some serious conversations he wasn't sure he was ready to have.
Oh man, but he was ready to have her, all of her. The strengths, the stubbornness, the wit, the desolation, the smile, the tears, all of her.
Ah fuck, he loved her.
How had he gotten to this point? When did she become the reason why he got up in the morning? When did she become the light of his life?
"Yo Steve," Sam called out. "We're landing in a few minutes, you might wanna sit."
Naturally, the only seat available was the one next to Natasha. If he didn't breathe in her scent, he wouldn't think about her. Then again, if he didn't breathe, he wouldn't be alive to think at all. Steadying himself, Steve sat next to her and willed his body not to react to their hips and thighs touching. He could still feel how soft her skin was under his hands and hear her soft moans as he assaulted the skin of her neck with his teeth, tongue, and lips.
He was suddenly grateful that Sam had given him Sex for Dummies as a gag gift at Christmas.
Feeling like a hormone-riddled teenager, Steve looked over at her. It appeared that Natasha was experiencing the same sort of internal dilemma. Her cheeks were flushed and she was gripping the edge of the chair so tightly her knuckles were almost white. She refused to look at him. When he spoke, he surprised both of them.
"I'm sorry Nat. I shouldn't have ... initiated that. Not that I didn't enjoy it, because believe me I did, but fuck I was worried I ruined —"
"Don't apologize," she mumbled and finally looked at him. "If you hadn't started it, I would have." Her cheeks flushed a little redder. "I uh … I was enjoying it."
"You were?" A feeling of massive pride washed over him.
She rolled her eyes and punched his shoulder lightly. "Yeah, I was. To be fair," she leaned in and whispered into his ear, "I think you were too." Now it was Steve's turn to flush red. She chuckled quietly at his reaction.
Both of them hadn't realized Sam has witnessed their hot-and-heavy make-out session the day before, nor did they notice he was watching their current interaction. If they knew that, they probably wouldn't be acting the way they are now.
Their flirting had become more obvious throughout the last year. Their feelings for each other have become more obvious throughout the last year. When Sam met Natasha for the first time two years ago, she was much more closed off. Granted, Steve was too. They have opened up, and Sam thought it definitely had something to do with their level of closeness. He's not an idiot — he knew that Steve slept in Tasha's room and vice versa. He didn't think they were having the sex but they were having the special intimacy that married couples had. Sam hadn't slept next to someone in years, but he remembered how wonderful it was waking up next to a person you care about.
They bickered like an old married couple. They laughed like best friends. They flirted like long-time lovers. There was no doubt in Sam's mind that they would end up together. It may just take some time.
(and maybe a sign that Peggy was okay, so Steve could move on.)
*.*.*.*
They were both pissed, Wanda knew that. At first, she thought they were pissed at her. Then they talked with her, separately of course, and assured her she is not who they're mad at. The Avengers, long before the most recent additions, always caused so much destruction when they were trying to save the world from some dangerous threat. This was just the UN overreacting.
However, it was because of her out-of-control actions that made the governments want to create laws that prevented the Avengers from simply going out and saving people. There were going to be procedures and motions and hearings. It would take longer to get "approved" by the committee than to actually fight the damn enemy. Therefore, she wasn't a huge fan of it. For God's sake, she wouldn't be here if it weren't for Clint not following the rules.
Regardless, "Mom and Dad" are fighting (again), and it is dividing the whole group of Avengers.
Tony was stuck on following rules, which was odd, because he liked to push the envelope with things like this. Maybe it was because he built Ultron and felt responsible for the whole mess of shit going on. Natasha and Rhodes were agreeing with him, along with this Black Panther guy.
Steve believed that there shouldn't need to be any regulations when it comes to deciding who and which situations may or may not need the Avengers' help. He clearly believed in his own judgement more than the government's. They should be able to go aid those in need, and frankly, a governmental process would slow them down. After experiencing what she has, Wanda appreciates genuine help. So she agreed that some people have an authentic desire to help those in need, and she decided to side with Cap.
Wanda wasn't sure what this division would mean for the Avengers. Would they be able to overcome it?
Or would they be too broken?
*.*.*.*
"I'm just saying that maybe we should have something that keeps us in check," Natasha said as she placed their plates in the sink to rinse them off.
Steve scoffed and muttered: "Wow."
"Wow, what, Steve? Every time we try to help a bad situation, it just gets worse. Innocent people die, just like in Sokovia. It's not Wanda's fault, but I think this time was like a bad wake-up call for the president."
"So you, the most independent woman I know, has decided to let other people make her decisions? She's deciding to give up her morals and stand blindly by as they strip us of our ability to serve," he grumbled sarcastically.
Natasha slammed the dishwasher shut and turned to face him, "Are you trying to pick a fight? Because it's fucking working." He snorted in response. "Also, I think you're forgetting it's not 1942 anymore. I'm not serving my country! I'm protecting the whole damn world!"
Steve was fuming, "I just don't understand how you could be on their side!"
"There are no side!" She shouted back at him.
"The fuck there aren't," he snarled.
"Steve!" She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "I'm picking the lesser of two evils. I'd rather be over-policed than renegade."
Steve shook his head. "I never thought you'd be the one against me."
Natasha whispered, "It's the lesser of two evils." When he didn't respond, she grabbed his wrist and pushed on: "Steve, please listen to me, I'm not ... against you."
He looked at her, stared at her really, with a piercing look in his squinted eyes. His brow was furrowed and he didn't know whether to believe her or not. She just stared back, her eyes wide and eyebrows slightly raised. They had fought many times before, but usually about training methods and personal beliefs and dinner options and mission plans. It wasn't about who believed — or didn't believe — in who.
Sometimes they can have whole conversations without saying a single word. They can make a plan, debate the plan, finesse the plan, and begin executing the plan without a word.
This was one of those times.
*.*.*.*
"Hey, are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just some cuts and bruises. I got lucky." She heard the sigh of relief from the other end of the phone. "The King of Wakanda is dead, so are a few others. They're saying … they're saying —"
"Yeah, I know what they're saying," he quipped. They were quiet because Natasha didn't know what to say, but then he whispered, "You know what I have to do, Nat."
She took a shaky breath in, "I know. It's, uh, what you believe in. I know how much Bucky means to you, but you're only gonna make it worse if you go after him yourself."
"What, are you gonna arrest me?"
"No," her answer was immediate. "But that doesn't mean others won't."
He chuckled after a minute. "Tony's pretty pissed, huh?"
She rolled her eyes, but she smiled a bit. "You could say that. He doesn't understand how you could be so stubborn."
"Funny, I think I said something like that about him too." She chuckled and sniffled. He suddenly assured her, "I'll see you again, Nattie."
The use of his nickname for her caused tears to spring in her eyes, "you better ... Steve?"
His breath caught in his throat, "yeah?"
Natasha really wanted to say it, like really, really wanted to say it but she can't, not right now. "I ... stay safe. I don't want to kick your ass, no matter how nice it is."
Steve grinned unbeknownst to her. "I'll be fine, okay?"
She nodded to herself and swallowed back her tears before replying in a small voice, "okay."
