'Shit'

"Earth to Kyle? Kyleeeeeee!"

I gulped before turning briskly on my heels to face the boy standing behind me. He was a few inches taller than me, which is tall enough considering I'm 5'11" myself. He's skinny, but he's not a complete twig, with enough muscle for him to be attractively thin. At this point I'm still glaring at the black, worn-out converse he is adorning on his feet. I take another gulp before looking up to face his glare.

"Good morning Kenny." Wow. I couldn't have sounded more depressing if I tried. I really just ought to put on a brave face more often, stop him asking too many questions.

"It's nearly 9 Kyle, and knowing you, you don't wanna be late for class. Better hurry up!"

'He has pretty eyes'

I shook my head and looked just over his shoulder, trying to prevent any eye contact. As he finished he shot me a wink and a quick, sly grin and sauntered off on his way. He was right though, I don't wanna be late; they take that shit way too seriously here. As soon as Kenny disappeared from sight, I walked quickly to my first class. So yeah, like I said, Kenny isn't just the poor boy any more.

'Again, unless you're Cartman'

Puberty was a gift to Kenny. It sculpted him into somewhat of a High School heartthrob. Well, heartthrob/slut. All the girls wanted him. That's not even an exaggeration. Quite literally, every girl in our year wanted a piece of the blonde-haired beauty. And almost every girl had got their fair share of the boy, and when that boy is Kenny, then the fair share is almost always, yep, you guessed it. Sex.

'Don't be jealous.'

Why did I have to have that thought just as I stepped into class? Heat flared up my normally pale cheeks, turning them a delightful shade of crimson. I hurried over to my table. Wendy was already sitting there. She was just as studious as I. We got along well, but you could always sense the competition between us, one trying to outdo the other.

"You just about made it Kyle. I was beginning to worry a little there, you do remember we're being given our project today?"

'Duh Wendy, can't you tell I rushed here?'

"What? Oh yeah, of course I remember!"

She looked at me as I sat down, giggling quietly to herself, "Something on your mind Kyle, you're looking a little flushed there dear!" Another friendly snicker escaped her mouth.

'Fuck, still blushing'

I covered my cheeks with my hands, her laughing just causing the blush to deepen. Why do people always feel the need to point out things like this? It's not as if it's solving the problem. I tried to compose myself, steadying my breathing to reply.

"I was going to be late, so I was in a rush, just worked up a little from running. That's all."

She grinned before giggling yet again and nudging me slightly, "Uh-huh, suuuuuure!"

'Why can people never take a hint? Just shut the hell up!'

I really should know better than to get in an argument with Wendy Testaburger, I mean, she always wins! Even if she isn't right, she is right. It's almost pointless trying to lie to her, 'cause she'll argue the contrary every time and she knows that when she does, the other will always cave in and tell her the truth, the truth (of course) that she knew from the very beginning.

"I'd just, rather not talk about it." There, I wasn't lying, I really don't wanna talk about it, especially not in AP Chemistry on a Monday morning. At least what I said sounded genuine, it was genuine! Thankfully Wendy isn't one to push you if she can sense you really do want to just drop it.

"Sorry Kyle, you know I was just messing around? Gotta do something to wake us up for the next hour, right?" She let out another soft giggle and a nervous smile. She must have realised she pushed me a little, and I could see the sincerity in her eyes.

"Don't worry, it's fine really."

"Are you two quite done talking?"

Both my eyes and Wendy's shot up towards our teacher, followed by them dropping quickly back to our desk.

"Good, now if you don't mind, I'd like to begin my class, as long as I'm not disrupting your conversation of course?"

We replied quietly in unison, "Sorry sir."

'Asshole'

We were given some project to determine the percentage of Magnesium in a sample of washing tablets. The usual old crap. Wendy and I never really worried too much about projects, considering we've been working together in Chemistry for a few years now. We always get 100%. That's just us, we're the smart ones, it's almost expected of us to get full marks, but we still act like we're trying, don't want people getting too jealous.

'You're so cocky!'

Most of the period was spent designing how we would go about doing the actual practical experiment. We had settled on doing most of the writing at home, with Wendy articulating the tables and graphs, while I would produce the predictions and some background knowledge for the project. We have chemistry again tomorrow, so would be starting the experiment then. Just as Wendy and I had settled on our responsibilities and a method for tomorrow, the bell rang and we started to pack up.

"We can work on our own separate parts tonight, but tomorrow after school, we should probably do the write-up together, you know, after the experiment?"

I was in a daze, blinking quickly, snapping myself out of it, "Huh what? Oh yeah, yeah! Chemistry is last tomorrow so you can just come back to mine afterwards, kay?"

Wendy smiled and nodded before bouncing off to her next class. I really don't know how she can have that much energy at this time, I've still barely woken up! As I packed my things back into my satchel, the thought of that blue-eyed boy popped into my mind again.

'Dammit Kyle, stop!'

But I couldn't, the thought kept coming back. The way he smiles at you, the way his eyes glisten, you could get lost in them if you weren't careful. I need to get to class though, no time for getting lost in thoughts now.

'You're not even gay.'

I kept telling myself that, I wasn't gay. Just hormones. I'm just really stressed out. That's it. I'm stressed and I want a friend, nothing gay about that. Heh.

'You're the dumbest smart-guy there is, you know that?'

My thoughts were at constant war with each other. It wasn't like a good conscience and a bad conscience. It was more like my head and my heart. One telling me to focus, to wise up and concentrate on school. The other telling me to have a little fun in my life, to let someone in, to stop closing everything and everyone out. I assume you can tell which is saying what.

"Woah dude! Watch where you're going, you really need to stop zoning out!"

I snapped out of my thoughts and glared at the boy in front of me, "Shit, sorry man!" I had a habit of becoming completely enveloped by what was going on in my head, so much so that the real world almost ceased to exist sometimes. My motor functions would direct me towards my next class, but anyone who got in the way…well, they got in my way, and I would almost always end up barging into one of them.

'At least it's just Craig.'

"I know I'm not really one to care, but you look a little off Kyle. I mean, more off than usual, is everything okay?" Craig still spoke in his monotone voice, though it is much deeper than it was as a child. I had become friendlier with him throughout Middle School, so even if he didn't sound like he was concerned, he did, even if it was just a little. Though he used to be one of the taller kids, he was about the same height as me now. He still bore that trademark chullo, even if it had begun to look a little worse-for-wear.

"I'm fine, really. You don't have to worry about me. Promise."

'Put on your brave face Kyle.'

I looked him in the eyes and smiled, unlike Ike and Wendy, Craig didn't manage to see through my lie. He smiled back at me, I was one of the few people he smiled at, probably because I help him with his classes every now and again, but I know he appreciates it. He still wears braces, his teeth were really messed up, but I think he gets them off soon, I mean, his smile looks good now. Maybe that's why he smiles at me, he's not embarrassed any more.

'First you're almost late for Chemistry, now Biology too. Move along dreamer!'

"Jesus, there you go again Broflovski. I don't know how to manage to pass any classes if you keep spacing out like that. Did you catch any of what I said?"

I just glared at him, a small smirk creeping onto my face before I flipped him off. He laughed before batting my hand away, and responding my flipping me off too.

"Kyle, you should know better than to try and steal my trademark!" He smiled at me again and I managed to muster up a slight giggle.

'Maybe you're not even just putting on this brave face.'

"I really should get to class! I'll talk to you later Craig." I gave him a slight wave before heading off towards my next class.

"Talk to you then Kyle!" Like the smiling, I was one of the few people he referred to by their first name. One of only two actually. Bebe is the other. Don't ask me why, I guess they're closer than most people think. I guess you could say he calls Tweek by his first name too, but his surname is pretty much exactly the same, so you can't really tell. I guess I got on first name terms with Craig ever since he came out. We had been good friends in Middle School, and in freshman year of High School, he came out to me. I was the first person he told.

Now, before you get any ideas, he and I have no feelings other than close friendship towards each other. He trusted me that was all. Though ever since then, I've felt comfortable around him, more comfortable than almost anyone else. He respected how long I kept his secret and was grateful of the support I gave him. He feels he owes me, so he'll help me with any of my problems. I never like to be a burden, so any time he asks, I either have none, or I make up something trivial. But no matter how insignificant the problem seems, he'll help me.

He's a good guy to those who earn it, and I guess, since he thanks me for helping him through a tough year of his life, I fall into that category; I earned his gratitude. He and I hang out way more than I do with many of my older friends.

'Probably because you know if he finds out about you, you know he'll keep a secret too.'

'I'm not gay!'

My hands were clenched into fists as they rested on my desk. I'm not gay. I know I'm not. Hormones.

'Yeah, you keep telling yourself that…moron!'

"I AM NOT A MORON!"

Every head in the room turned to me. I could feel their glares, I could almost hear what they were thinking. I got flustered again, my face reddening yet again. Whispers began between my classmates, just too quiet for me to hear completely. My fists clenched tighter, my knuckles turning white. It felt like I would burst a vein any second.

"Mr Broflovski, are you quite alright?"

I stared up from my fists to see the teacher standing over me, genuine concern in his eyes.

"Yes, sorry. Sorry sir. I…I didn't get much sleep, I'm just a little tired is all."

"Why don't you head to the nurse and get a glass of cold water, wake yourself up a little?"

I pondered the idea for a few seconds, "Y…yeah, sure. Thanks sir."

I stood up from my desk and quickly headed for the door. I wasn't going to the nurse. I walked down the hallway quickly, heading for the toilets. I slammed the bathroom door open and stood in front of one of the mirrors, each of my hands placed at either side of the sink.

'Get yourself together Kyle! Grow up and stop being such a lunatic!'

I got angry at myself, my hands clenched into fists once again. This time I couldn't contain myself, and I swung at the mirror in front of me. I gasped in pain. The mirror didn't shatter, it just cracked a little in the middle, but there was blood. I glared down at my hand.

'Busted knuckle, well done you!'

I flexed my hand, trying to ignore the stinging. It wasn't anything too serious, surface wound, that's all. I'll be fine. Well, I thought I would be.

"Jesus Kyle, calm down!"

My jaw dropped. Why the fuck is he here? Anyone else could have been in this bathroom, but it just had to be him. Why does this only happen to me? Why couldn't it have been Craig in here? Hell, even Cartman would've been better than…him! I was still so angry at myself, at everything. I shouldn't have said anything, but hey, I was already on a roll.

"Oh great, you're here! Of course you are. Just please, leave me alone, and go fuck away off Kenny!"

Kenny's jaw dropped a little, before he swallowed and composed himself. He looked hurt. The concern that was once in his eyes now replaced by apathy and bitterness.

'Me and my big fucking mouth!'

"Fine Kyle. I don't what the hell your problem is, especially with me. But you've been pushing everyone away…everyone you were once close to. Sorry for caring about my friend. Asshole!" With that, Kenny gave me one last glare and shook his head, muttering just loud enough for me to hear, "You should bandage that," before heading back into the hall.

'He's right, you are an asshole Kyle!'

I decided to head to the nurse. He wasn't just right about me, but he was right about my hand. It needed cleaned and bandaged. I just had to think of an excuse.

"Hi Nurse Bronski, I tripped in the hall on the way to the bathroom and scraped my knuckle. I was wondering if you could help clean it up."

"Let me have a look. Oooh…that's a nasty cut there Kyle, I'll need to disinfect it a little first." She reaches up into a cabinet and brings out some spray stuff, "This may sting a little."

I winced slightly as she cleaned out the wound and as she began to dress it. "Thanks for that."

"No problem Kyle, just, be careful from now on, okay?"

"I will, thanks again!"

I managed another small smile before making my way back to class. How long had it been since I've left? Doesn't matter, I've got this as an excuse if any questions are asked. When I returned to class, I realised I hadn't been gone that long, and I did my best to hide my hand, so few questions were asked. The rest of the day went much smoother compared to the first couple of hours. I was asked to tutor someone in our year's pre-calculus class, but the teacher said he needed to check with the other student to make sure they still wanted lessons outside of school. My bandaged hand made my violin lesson quite tricky, but I got through it nonetheless. And obviously, with the injury, I managed to weasel my way out of gym.

'Can't complain about that, huh?'

I once again decided to walk home, knowing I wouldn't have to face anyone else on the bus. I was walking along peacefully, before hearing quicker footsteps behind me.

"Woah woah, Kyle, wait up!"

I smiled hearing Craig's voice, turning around and stopping to let him catch up.

"Off in your own little world again, huh?" He nudged his shoulder against me, I just laughed back at him, shoving him gently.

"Do you even need to ask any more?" I was trying to stay in a good mood. Everything seems easier when you do, even if nothing is quite so good in your life.

"I don't suppose you wanna come over? Family are out tonight and some company would be great!"

"Why don't you ask Tweek? Surely you two would make much better use of a free house." I winked at him and giggled, earning myself another shove from the boy.

"He's working a late shift tonight. Plus I wanna hang out with my friends sometime too! So what do you say?" He smiled at me, a look of hope in his eyes.

'Go on, Craig's not a slacker, he'll let you get your work done.'

"Okay, but I have some work to do, so I'll only come over if you promise we won't spend the whole evening goofing around." I gave him a stern look. He knew I was serious.

"Yeah of course, you're not the only one with work Broflovski! I'll be doing my homework too doofus!" Craig does well in school too. Maybe not quite as well as me, but he's definitely up there. He takes it almost as seriously as I do, so I knew he meant that. And I really did need to spend some chill time with a friend.

"I guess I can come over for a few hours, I'll just need to phone my mom when I get over, let her know where I am."

'Maybe he can help me with my dilemma…'