Slash!: Hey, everyone! Welcome to Episode Two of Nonsensical Theatre! Since y'all enjoyed Episode One so much, here's the harem back with more insanity! First, though, the shout outs.
Specs: Thanks for the nice words, Bluehag! Although--no offense meant--we're glad you don't have a harem. It's difficult enough doing this with one author.
Bumlets: Your wish is our command, SwedishGirl! Here's more insanity for your viewing enjoyment.
Dutchy: We luffle you too, Stage! Now write more fics with Specs and me!
Specs: O_O
Snoddy: No, Pop, it's not bad that you run around humming the Mission Impossible theme. It shows you're an . . . individual. Yeah.
Skittery: Hey, Princessred, do me a favor and make sure we're not around when you go to Wal-Mart to do the whole list. Some of the things are . . . heh . . . dangerous.
Slash!: In any case, here's episode two, "21 things to do in an elevator." Enjoy and review!
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The elevator doors opened and five young men got on, talking softly amongst themselves and examining their elevator-mates. One sniffled and wiped his nose while another smiled charmingly at everyone.
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1. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
Dutchy twitched. His face contorted. One shoulder jerked, then the other.
"You okay, Dutch?" Snoddy asked.
Dutchy curled in on himself and began thumping himself on the forehead. His voice, when it became audible, was pained and grating. "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
People began migrating over to the other side of the elevator.
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4. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
"Hi!" Bumlets chirped. He ripped off a name tag and handed it to the woman entering the elevator. "Welcome to the elevator! Wear your nametag and get to know us!" He beamed the sort of smile that one usually sees on the slightly unbalanced. The woman smiled nervously, took the tag, and moved away from him.
"Boy, she's nervous," Snoddy commented. "It's like we're wearing ours upside down or something."
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9. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce, "I've got new socks on!"
Skittery shifted from foot to foot, then turned and stared at the man next to him. He was a business-type, all hoity-toity with a three-piece suit and shiny shoes and a briefcase that probably cost three times as much as Skittery's entire outfit. He happened to glance at Skittery and the boy immediately pasted a big grin on his face. When the man began exhibiting clear signs of anxietly, Skittery announced,
"I've got new socks on!"
More people edged away.
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10. Meow occasionally.
"Meow."
All the occupants of the elevator began glancing around, trying to figure out who had meowed. The only person in the vicinity of the noise was the handsome brunette with glasses and he couldn't have possibly have done it. Shrugging it off, they went back to their own business.
Specs chuckled to himself.
"Meow."
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13. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
The girl was about Snoddy's age, with curly red hair in a ponytail, pretty eyes, and a cute figure. He checked her out, then gasped suddenly. She looked at him and arched an eyebrow, smiling coyly at him. Snoddy began scooting away from her, moving away.
"You're one of THEM!" With that, he slipped behind Dutchy, effectively blocking her view of him, only popping up occasionally to glare at her over Dutchy's shoulder.
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14. Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers and 19. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
Dutchy knelt down and carefully drew a square around him. He shoved Bumlets and Skittery out of the way and settled himself in.
"This is my personal space," he told everyone. "Come in here and you'll have to answer to Mr. Sockem!" He held up his left hand, which was firmly encased in a sock with button eyes. "Yeah!" he said in a muffled voice, apparently voicing the sock. "I'll soak you!"
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7. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
The man entered the elevator, feeling completely exhausted. He wanted nothing more than to sink into his own little cloud of misery and never talk to anyone ever again. So, naturally, he was more than a little taken back when a young man grabbed his hand and began pumping it enthusiastically.
"Hi!" he said cheerfully. "Call me admiral!"
Behind the boy, a group of four others snapped off salutes. "Yes, Admiral Bumlets!"
The far corner of the elevator was getting rather crowded.
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11. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
Skittery began digging around in his pockets for something, garnering more than a few odd looks from his fellow newsies.
"The elevator ain't the best place for pocket pool," Dutchy informed him rather loudly.
"Keep it in the bathroom," Snoddy said.
Skittery glared at the lot of them, finally retrieving whatever it was he had been looking for. "Aha!" He held up a shiny new quarter. "Bet you guys five to one I can get this up my nose."
"Bum odds," Bumlets replied.
"And I'm not getting that thing out of your nose if you get it stuck," Specs added.
Skittery snorted at the others and turned to the man next to him. "Bet you five to one--hey, where you going?"
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20. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
The man entered the elevator and hit the button for the fifth floor. He jumped when, suddenly, someone yelled "BOOM!"
"Holy--" The man spun and glared at the boy standing behind him, who stared at him innocently and wiped his nose. The man turned back and hit the button again, just in case.
"BOOM!"
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21. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
Specs slipped off his regular glasses and put another pair on. The lenses had white and black spirals on them, and along the side part of the glasses were the words "X-Ray Specs." Peering over the top of the glasses, Specs located the blurry masses that were the other newsies and then pushed the glasses onto the bridge of his nose.
Next to him stood a cute young woman who was looking at him oddly. He lowered the glasses, winked at her, then leaned in and whispered, "Meeting someone?"
The girl blushed as Specs straightened and put the glasses back on.
"What are those, Specs?" Skittery asked, indicating the glasses.
"They're x-ray," Specs replied. "You have no secrets from me!" He glanced at Dutchy, then his whole face went red and he quickly yanked the X-Ray Specs off and replaced them with his regular glasses. "Dutchy! Oh my God--!"
Dutchy grinned.
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Slash!: Thus ends episode two of Nonsensical Theatre. How about a round of applause for the harem and the reviewers, eh? *applauds* Hope you enjoyed it--review!
~my harem belongs to Disney~
~opportunity knocks! http://kiss.to/okp~
~lumos et nox: http://lumosetnox.envy.nu~
