She could feel the intensity of his stare piercing through her. More than feeling it she could visualize it, vivid clear blue eyes looking from afar, glued to her frame as she walked into the dim lighted coffee shop.

It was all fine with her, if she walked into that specific locale in the first place it was because she knew he was going to be there waiting for her and sure, that he was looking had to be expected; but even if she had known what was coming she had to admit that it was kind of nerve wrecking knowing that through his vantage point he could just sit and look while she could barely get a good glimpse of him.

There was nothing to do about that though, especially since she has been a little late and wasn't able to come in first like she would have liked to, so because of her tardiness she would just have to bear with the feeling of knowing that he was getting the first good look.

So that's how it happened, and as soon as she walked through the door she felt his eyes on her, scrutinizing her every move as she gracefully made her way in.

Now, as soon as she spotted him, she felt like she was fourteen all over again. It was ridiculous to a certain point but she definitely felt her stomach tying in a knot the moment her eyes meet with his and her breath got caught up in the back of her throat as she walked with secure steps towards him.

It was kind of surreal, almost as if she was walking into an unknown dimension, some kind of twilight zone were she was sure her world was about to turn upside down.

Not that she was going to let him know what he provoked so working her lips into what she believed to be an amicable smile she headed straight to where he was sitting.

"Hey." She said as soon as she was within his earshot and at the word she almost cringed. It came out too forced and way too vague.

Hey… after eighteen years of not seeing the man face to face that was all she came up with. She couldn't believe herself.

Not that he seemed to notice, and if he did he said nothing, he just flashed his patented dimple smile her way and got up to his feet.

Swallowing on dry and not really sure how to proceed, Regina just chewed on the inside of his cheek and kept going. Time was dragging into an eternity and it felt like she has been walking for ages, but then when he made his intention clear of giving her a hug as a greeting things sped up and she had no choice but to comply.

The contact destabilized all her resolution of keeping the meeting informal and not for the first time since she agreed to see him she wondered if it was all a good idea. Part of her insisted that no, that it wasn't, but then there was this other part that knew it was about time they were able to see each other again.

Now, as nice as he felt she had to admit that it was perhaps a little bit awkward, but then again all of it felt so familiar even though so much time have passed by that she had to close her eyes for a second, breathing into his scent as his arms came to circle around her.

It was definitely nothing compared to seeing him through a video call or talking to him on the phone and in a way it felt so much different hugging him now as a man than what it felt like hugging him in his youth.

He felt taller to her now, he definitely was packing more muscles and he smelled so different. Not in a bad way, just in a new mysterious way that seemed to invade all her senses to leave her weak.

It almost felt like she got stuck in a limbo right between her past and this present and she honestly didn't know how to act or what to say.

Feeling overwhelmed, she returned the embrace, a collage of memories hitting her full force and at full speed. It was as if all of her old feelings had always been there scratching the surface and now with his strong presence they just broke out.

It was insane.

"Wow," She said in a chuckle at last as she pulled away. "It's been a while, uh?"

Fixing his shining blue eyes on hers he licked his lips. "Way too much time if you ask me."

Trying to bite down the silly smile she had on her face, Regina looked away, her excuse fixing the chair she was about to use and then sitting over it. "Sorry I was late, got caught up."

Taking a sit as well, Robin chuckled. "Don't worry, I just got here a little too early."

Letting her eyes return to him, she arched an eyebrow. Robin was blatantly staring at her and wasn't even trying to hide it. "You look great."

Humming, she return the stare. "You don't look bad yourself either." And he really didn't, time has settled so well with him that she was almost in awe.

He looked good, better than what she has been expecting and once again she had to bite down her lips to tone down the smile that wanted to break into her face.

He was basically making her feel out of her element but instead of acting on the nervousness that wanted to take over her, she allowed her eyes to take in the changes in him; from the creases that formed on his skin as he smiled to the strong outline of his jaw and the stubble that accentuated his features.

He was far from the boy that has stolen her heart years ago and then ran away with it and yet, he was the same.

"So do you want something?" He asked almost in a chuckle and she realized that he was probably as nervous as she was feeling. If anything that made her feel antsy as hell.

"A cappuccino would be okay."

Nodding, he stood up again and went to get her coffee.

Refusing to look his way, the brunette woman closed her eyes and ran a hand through her hair as a way to try to calm down a little. It was ridiculous that she was feeling like she was feeling because this was Robin and she has moved on from him long ago.

Yes, what they had has been good and pure and she has loved him with everything that she had, but at fourteen that wasn't even much, or was it?

She wanted to think that no, that she has been just a girl learning about the world and now she was a woman, a very capable one of controlling her emotions so she better get a grip and stop reacting so silly.

By the time he came back she has tried to engrave that thought into her mind and failed miserably. Who she was trying to fool?

"So, I see you're living the life here at Central Park." He said while giving her a mug with the cappuccino. He sat down again, this time a little bit closer.

With a perhaps too exaggerated motion of her hand she brushed him off. "Don't mention it, if this area was expensive back in our days you don't want to know how it is now. I like it though, you know, it's still the city but with less people all over you."

"I hear you."

"So what got you back in New York?"

The corner of his lips curved, but instead of answering he just took a sip of his own coffee. He savored it, and then putting the mug down he shrugged. "Just came for the coffee, heard it's good around here."

Tilting her head to the side she squinted her eyes. It made him chuckle, his eyes refusing to drop away from hers.

"That's a long way to come just for coffee."

"Totally worth it." He took another sip and after swallowing it down, he cleared his throat. "My boy is living with his mother down in Brooklyn and since I was in the neighborhood I decided to come by and see you."

"Oh." She said, twisting her lips. She didn't know what else to say about that so she said nothing.

"Too forward?" He asked and by the playful glint on his eyes she knew that he noticed how the comment took her aback.

She didn't like that he knew he still affected her even if it was a little bit, not after the one he pulled on her when he left.

"Not so much. Just surprised that you still remembered I existed."

He frowned. "Regina, I've never forgotten that you existed. That's impossible."

"Oh but you did, if I'm not mistaken you forgot when you disappeared on me years ago."

Now sure, one of the first things he did when he first contacted her after that messed up break up that they had was explain why he left like he did.

It didn't necessarily served as an excuse but like he told her, he has been young and stupid and because all of it has been so long ago she decided to turn the page and sure, forgive him… well, more or less.

She forgave him in a way that she has maintained a somewhat amicable contact with him, but she hasn't forgotten.

"I did leave, I'll own that, but I didn't forget about you. In fact I came back looking for you as soon as I was able to, just that it was a little too late."

Nodding because she remembered what he was referring to, Regina sighed. Yes, he came back after three long years, but when he did she was already dating Daniel and without even trying to win her back he left again. It took him several more years to contact her for good and finally reveal why was it that he left.

All of that was a bitter memory that had always been at the back of her mind but like she once said, it was all in the past. It was because of that mind frame that she decided to confess something she has only told one person in the world.

"You know, even if I wouldn't have easily admitted it when you came back, I would have left everything behind for you just if you would had pushed a little harder for me to do it."

Snorting and scratching his scalp, Robin settled his eyes on the table that separated them. "Don't say that… because trust me, I won't be able to get over that if it was true."

Regina shrugged. "Well it's true." She was just starting to date Daniel back then and when she found out that Robin was back her whole world, the one she has made for herself after he left came crumbling down.

She has been at a crossroad, but her heart knew very well where it wanted her to go. But he didn't push it, he didn't even see her, he just sent Killian of all people with a message and when she refused to met with him he just left.

"How could I push a bit harder if you simply refused to see me? And you were with someone."

"I did refuse to see you, I mean I was mad. Robin, you just left without even a warning and it… crushed me, so of course I was going to be upset about it. But through it all I still loved you and I wanted nothing more than for you to come and tell me how it had all been a misunderstanding and that you were going to stay with me for good. But you didn't. You just left, again."

Biting hard into his lips, Robin dragged a hand down his face. "I thought you hated me."

"I didn't… okay maybe a little bit, but not enough to overshadow the fact that I still loved you."

Allowing his hand to rest against his forehead, he sent her a stare full of sadness. It made her feel like reaching for him, only that she didn't. "So there's another thing to regret now."

"Regrets lead us nowhere. What's done it's done so there's no point on going over things that we can't change."

She has learnt that lesson, so as addicting as it could be, she knew that there was no point in dwelling in the past.

Lifting his face so that he could look her in the eye, Robin leaned a bit closer. "That's what people say, but how can you not think about it when you know the mistakes you made ended up costing you dearly."

Regina said nothing.

"That I had to leave was inevitable, I had no control over that but I can't help but to think about how much difference it would have made if I would have told you about it. But I didn't, I was bitter and upset that my parents were pulling me back to London because I definitely didn't want to leave, but instead of coming clear with you I just… pushed you away and shut down and… and I messed up. That's something I will carry forever on my back and I will never stop being sorry for it."

"I wish you would have told me. That way I wouldn't have spent so much time thinking that you left because I wasn't worth it." And if she would have known what was really going on she would have waited for him, hell, she would have made her parents send her to London or she would have found a way.

But he didn't say a damn thing and instead left her behind with her heart broken and her love crushed.

Reaching for her hand, Robin grabbed it and his fingers automatically intertwined with hers. "I never though you were not worth it. Quite the contrary. I spent every single day after I left doing everything in my power to come back being worthy for you. I had no means to travel back here immediately so I worked as hard as I could to save enough to make it back and have something on my name to start anew."

"And yet during all that time you never even called or… I don't know, sent a signal that you were still there. I never heard from you, Robin, do you even know how that made me feel?" Her voice trembled when she said that and she hated it.

"I know, I have no excuse for that, I…" He sucked in a breath. "I wanted to but I was too scared of your reaction. I was ashamed too, because of how I left, because I was forced to leave and because I couldn't do anything about it. I was stupid and that I screwed this up will be the biggest regret of my life."

Watching as if in a trance the way his hand took over hers, Regina blinked. His touch felt warm against her skin and seeing how perfectly their hands fit together even though his was much larger than hers was hypnotic.

"And now you say you would have taken me back that first time I came looking for you and it all just… I can't help but to hate myself for not insisting. It would have changed everything."

"Nothing of that matters now. We tend to play the what if's game but twisting things at our convenience. We don't know what would have happened if you would have told me or if I would have acceded to seeing you. Maybe it would have worked, maybe it wouldn't have. We will never know."

"Every single one of those outcomes would have been better than having to watch you build your life away from me. I mean in a way I was glad to see every step that you made even if it was through social media and having to see that… twat you ended up marrying, but it was torture."

"Robin…"

He chuckled, his thumb running in circles over her wrist. "What? I've never hidden the fact that I never stopped having feelings for you and that this Daniel got to get what I wanted irked me to no end."

Despite the situation, she chuckled as well. "I never saw you being miserable. Don't forget that I was able to watch your life through my computer too and from what I saw it didn't look bad." No, not at all, she saw wedding pictures, his son being born and quite some traveling so it wasn't like he was having it bad.

He shrugged. "It wasn't bad, it just wasn't a life with the person I wanted to be with. I tried, I really did but at the end it didn't work because she was not you."

Listening those words made her heart skip a beat and she had to drop her gaze away from his. It wasn't fair that he could come back into her life and with a few empty words wake up some feelings she thought to be long gone.

"Sorry to hear that, but…" Pulling her hand away from his hold she clicked her tongue. "That you got a divorce doesn't mean anything. And this thing of you having feelings for me?" She shook her head. "You don't know me so you can't possibly still have those feelings. I'm not the same girl I was twenty years ago and I think that's who you are set on, the person I was back then."

Robin tapped his fingers over the table. "I know you've changed, I did too, it's impossible not to after so many years. But you're a wrong in one thing, I do have feelings for you and not because of the girl you were, but because of how I felt when I was with you and how I feel when I see the woman you've become."

Pushing the inside of her cheek with the tip of her tongue, Regina used her forefinger to trace the edge of the mug of coffee.

"I know what I feel, and even if I didn't I would have known the moment I saw you walk in because it was as if time had not passed by and my feelings were as raw as they were last time I saw you."

Sucking in a breath and venturing to set the chocolate warmth of her eyes on his blue ones, Regina spoke. "Why did you come here, Robin?" Because it was clearly not because of the coffee.

"I came for you." He replied, plain and simple. "I came here because through all these years I haven't been able to get you out of my head. I've tried and at times I thought I succeeded, but then something as simple as a song would trigger all these memories and just like that I was back to ground zero. I never stopped loving you, I just became good at ignoring the feeling and I don't want to keep living like that."

Resting her elbows to the table and then cradling her chin into one of her hands, Regina lifted her shoulder and then dropped them. She wasn't going to lie, she was a bit shaken by the things he said, but she needed to remind him that things were not as simple as he was making them look.

"You hurt me a lot, Robin, I know we were both young and clueless but you made me feel like I wasn't worth a damn thing and like my heart just got ripped out of my chest, so you can't expect me to just accept what you are saying and just be okay with it."

"I know. And I can't apologize enough during this lifetime for what I did. I hate that I hurt you, I'll never get over that."

She nodded, but because she didn't want to turn the conversation into an eternal apology fest, she tried to turn the situation and make him see that her life wasn't ruined because of how he left.

"That was a long time ago, no need to beat yourself over it. It wasn't a walk in the park but I came through, and I wouldn't be the person I am today if it wasn't because of how everything turned out to."

"Can I ask you one thing?"

Shrugging in fake indifference, Regina waited for him to ask his question.

"During all these years, have you ever stopped to think even if it was for just a second how would things be if we would have stuck together?"

Taking in a deep breath, she decided to answer with the truth. "Of course I did; like I said, we all like to play the what if game, especially when life changes for the worse. But that's just speculation and the fact remains that we didn't stay together because you choose not to. I moved on, there's nothing to be found digging in the past."

"I see. So you mean to say that you felt nothing when you saw me?"

Rolling her eyes, Regina began to move her head away, but he caught her chin and prevented to look anywhere that wasn't directly into his inquiring eyes.

"What I feel doesn't matter. It stopped being important long ago, now I'm just focused on my son and my career and I want things to stay that way."

"It matters to me." With his other hand he brushed her hair behind her ear while she just watched him.

As he did that, she once again thought that it wasn't fair what he was doing. A couple of hours ago she was doing just fine. She has been content with her life, sure, it wasn't perfect but she was alright. She had an amazing son and she was thriving with her business, so it wasn't fair that he came to make her question what was that je ne sais quoi that was missing.

Was it him?

Even when she has been with Daniel she always felt this void deep within herself she has never been able to fill. She has loved him in her own kind of way and she has been happy, but there was always this unseen force pulling her back from fully feel in her element. It changed when Henry was born, but still, she never fully felt complete.

Being like that turned her into a skeptical, especially when her marriage collapsed, but now here was Robin and somehow she felt like she hasn't felt in such a long time.

"But-" He began to say, taking her back into reality. "I don't want to come here too strong too hard so why don't you just give me the chance to just… try? Let's call it a trial, you'll let me take you out for a walk tonight and if by the time we call it a night you don't want to know anything about me I'll go. If things go smoothly we'll take it from there, no rush."

Wrinkling her nose, she scoffed. "You'll just go?"

"Only if that's what you really want. Now you said there's no point in digging in the past and maybe you are right, so try not to be too biased and instead think on right now and what can happen in the future. You also said that I didn't know this new you so give me the opportunity to get to know you, what do you say?"

Now she didn't know how to feel about that, but like it always happened when it came to him she ended up doing as he wanted. "Okay."

She just hoped the decision wouldn't be one she would end up regretting.

TBC