Okay so here is the first chapter. Just to tell you this chapter contains rape and abuse hence the M rating. thats mainly the reason its rated M so im sorry to all of you lovely people who like lemon but maybe if you stay around long enough you'll get a little lemon! Well yeah here you go!

Disclaimer: i still do not own twilight. but ENJOY(:

I watched as the plane flew over the ocean and wished that it would just come crashing down into the bottomless water, ending this nightmare that never seemed to end. Of course that never happened. The almost eight hour flight went by without a panic, well I had blown up on people like four times but that's my bipolar disorder acting up.

When we landed it was cold and pouring rain . . . I knew I would hate it, I ALREADY hated it. Our new house sucked ass, I had my own room but it was the smallest in the house even though I was the tallest out of everyone, even my dad. My family didn't really see me anymore. They only cared about Maya and everything she did. Whenever I got anything good it was irrelevant to Maya. Soon enough they just started ignoring me all together, only talking to me when they yelled or to inform me of something did. I hated my parents, especially my dad. He made everything seem okay, he agreed with my mom on everything involving me and my punishments when if I did nothing wrong.

I dreaded the night, I knew at any minute I wouldn't be alone. As if on cue my 'father' creeped into my room after everyone was sleep. He had that evil smile on his face that made my skin crawl. He lifted up my covers and lay down. I knew what was coming next and I felt the tears swell up in my eyes. I felt his hand come over to my breast and squeeze; I whimpered even though it wasn't a surprise. I knew he needed a release since mom wasn't giving him any, I just wished it didn't have to be me.

This started when I was 10 and I was now 14. Almost every day for four years he violated me, he took my innocence and my trust. I trusted no one in my family, at school, not even my only friend. I just wanted to die because I knew no one would truly miss me.

"You know I told you not to make a noise. You know what would happen and you don't want that do you?" He threated biting my neck. He always threatened to kill me but I didn't care, I wanted to die; it would be better than living in this hell hole.

He moved his hand down my body and I'm sure he knew I was shaking but didn't care. He just wanted to rape me and get it over with. He moved to the hem of my shirt and started lifting it up, my breathing hitched as he pulled it over my head and turned me on my back. He held his body on top of mine as he moved to my pajama shorts and pulled them over my ankles. The tears were blurring my vision and I was thankful because I wouldn't have to see what came next. He crawled back and yanked me down by my hair. He pushed me on the floor and made me get on my knees.

He pulled his length out of his pants and when I didn't react fast enough he slapped me across the face. The tears instantly started pouring down my face and I took his length in my mouth. I hated when he made me do this because it was never good enough for him so I always got hit. He made me swallow every ounce of it that came out and if I threw up he'd punch me in the stomach multiple times. Thank god I didn't because I couldn't bare anything else that would come my way.

After he yanked me up by my hair and violated me again. I knew that my body would react differently than my mind would. My mind hated this in every way and I wanted it to end but my body would always orgasm but it never felt good. It caused more pain to pulse through my body and my breathing to stop. It took me forever to remember how to breathe again. When he finally came he collapsed on top of me and I couldn't breathe again. He lay there for about an hour as I silently cried. When he finally got up he threw my clothes as me, gave me a warning slap and left. I didn't put my clothes back on, I just laid there and cried myself to sleep.

I expected the nightmares that always came but they didn't this time. I dreamed of my laying in the woods and a wolf standing above me almost smiling. I was sleep and I looked almost pained. I had tear stains on my face. The wolf was suddenly a human and he seemed to be enjoying the sight of me sad and alone, a broken me. He was tall, big built and very tanned. He had a strange tattoo of a wolf running on his left peck. He started reaching down when my alarm clock started going off.

I woke up panting, with tears in my eyes. What did the dream mean? Did the stranger want to help? Why was I in the woods? It didn't matter I would never meet the stranger thank god.

I got up and heading to the restroom. Of course everyone had left to do whatever while I stayed home and had no life, not that I cared, I didn't want a life.

When I got to the restroom I closed the door and got the lighter I hid. I lit it up and watched as the flame flickered back and forth. I watched for about a minute before I turned it off and turned the metal on my arm. It sizzled and burned like hell but it was the way I released my anger and depression. I lifted it off after it cooled and I had a circular burn on my arm. I did this regularly while nobody was home so I had a couple dozen burns. I had picked up several bad habits to deal with my pain. I burned, cut, and starved myself. I hated myself for letting this go on, not stopping it. It was my fault and I had to deal with it.

After I did finish my shower and stuff I went back to my room. I had two large bruises on my cheek and eye. I covered it with concealer and got dressed. I was used to the morning after. I dealt with the pain and the humility and put on my best poker face. I had grown excellent at concealing my feelings. I decided to walk around this stupid reservation and look around. The doom and gloom of the state was really bringing me down but I kept my head up and walked down the street.

I had walked about two miles when I heard a car coming up in the distance. I walked to the side of the road to let it pass. When it passed me it hit a puddle that I was walking by, splashing all over me.

The car instantly sped to a stop as I tried to stop my growing anger for whoever the dumb fuck was that was driving the car. I felt my concealer dripping off my face but I was too angry to care.

I walked up to the opening door at let my anger out.

"What the fuck is your problem huh? You see a kid walking so you soak them with your ugly ass car? I've been through too much to deal with fuckers like you!" I screamed while walking up to the car. Boy, did I not expect what was waiting inside that car.

He was a tall, muscular, tan man with longish hair that hung just slightly over his eyes. He was beautiful that was true but my bipolar side didn't care at the moment.

When he saw me his eyes got wide and he took in a sharp breath. Hes eyes gazed at me and I wondered what the hell his problem was. He had an adoring look on his face it was annoying the fuck out of me.

"What happened to your face?" He asked shocked.

I touched my face and realized all the concealer had dripped off and my hand sized purplish black bruises were showing. I didn't care though, he was gonna answer my question before I even cared about his.

"NO! What the fuck is your problem? Didn't you see me walking here?" I screamed in his face.

He didn't look mad, he looked more loving. I was seriously about to slap that dumb ass look off his face. Suddenly he took a quick deep breathe and his eyes got angry and he tensed up. What the hell was wrong with this guy? He was worse than me. He surprised me with what he said next.

"Get in!" He said more pleading than demanding.

"What? NO! Who the hell do you think you are?" I screamed.

"Please get in the car and keep your voice down. Please." He pleaded up to me. I knew there was something bad out there and I wasn't sure what it was but I got in the back trying to stay as far away as I could from him, I didn't trust this idiot but I knew it would be better than going home.

"Where are we going?" I asked a little frightened now.

"I'm taking you to my house." He said more calmly.

When he said that I thought back to last night and I knew what would happen when I got there. I knew I was only good as a play toy but not to everyone. I had hit a lower low than I thought was possible. I stayed quiet the whole way planning what I would do when the car stopped. I was going to run into the woods, deep into the woods. Where no one could find me. I would end it there, no one else could hurt me other than myself. And I was going to hurt myself for the last time today.

When we stopped outside a small house I opened the door and ran into the woods. I heard him calling to me but I didn't care. I just kept running and running. A wolf howled in the distance so I sped up, I stopped when I got to a small river, I had the perfect idea on how to end it.

And there goes the first chapter. As you can see Leiko is a very paranoid fourteen year old lol next chapter is going to have WAY more info. Thank you for reading and please review(:

-Miranda