Disclaimers: Still not mine

A/N: Thanks to Megan, my beta! And thanks for your wonderful reviews!


Scene in the market

Luke couldn't believe it. It was worst than picking hygiene feminine products. There were dozens, no hundreds of kinds of pregnancy test. There was the classic kind with the stripes: one stripe, you must try again; two stripes, maybe you should buy diapers while you're there. There were the color kind, the happy face kind – very clever for every pregnant teenage girls who would like to be anything but pregnant – and the one for dummies which directly wrote "pregnant" or "not pregnant" on the stick. Luke was really looking forward to picking this one when he heard a familiar voice behind him.

"Looking for something specific?" said a highly amused Liz. "You know, you're looking at the pregnancy test right now? Is it for you to use? I mean, I know you've gain some weight lately, big brother, but I really doubt that a pregnancy test is what you need right now."

"Oh Liz… hi! I was… no… I mean… yeah… you know… I was looking for this," he said searching for the first condom box he could reach. "You know, it's clever to put these just next to the pregnancy tests. It says, like, 'Look what you're gonna be buying next week if you don't take these'. Yeah, it's bright! I wonder if it's really Taylor who had the idea. Probably not, you know, since I saw the same configuration in a pharmacy last month…" he rambled lamely.

"Yeah, so you're here to take some small sized, electric yellow-green glowing condom that taste like guacamole?" she said even more amused.

"Oh no!" he said as he exchanged the box in his hand for another one. "The large size, not small," he continued looking really nervous.

"And the weird color's for?"

"Lorelai! She likes… guacamole," he said sighing at his silliness.

"You know, maybe you should get this," she said as she picked the 'pregnant/not pregnant' pregnancy test.

"What?"

"You know, when you're nervously waiting for the result, you don't want to wonder if the good answer is the blue or the pink."

"Yeah?" he asked still unsure.

"Yeah! So you think…?" she asked smiling as she handed him the box.

"Maybe," he answered, grinning at the small box.

"That could be why she was… upset Tuesday?" she asked as he nodded. "Oh Luke! I'm so happy for both of you! But didn't the doctor said…" she started, but was cut off.

"Luke!" T.J. yelled as he reached them pushing a two-year-old Doula in her stroller and holding a full basket of baby food jars. "Hey! I was avoiding you! Your wife still scares me a little, but since she's not here... Hey, you have a pregnancy test in your hand."

"Yeah," he said trying to change subject. "Hi Doula!

" 'Cle Louk!" she tried to say.

"Don't you think she's a little bit old for baby food?" he asked Liz.

"It's not for her, it's for me!" T.J exclaimed.

"What?"

"Yeah," continued Liz. "T.J. just loves baby food. He actually eats it all day long"

"Yeah, it tastes great, it's healthy and you don't even have to chew it! It's like drinking food!" He said as he realized something. "OH MY GOD, LUKE, I THINK LORELAI IS PREGNANT!" he shouted across the market as every heads present turned toward them.

"T.J., shut up!" Luke whispered firmly, hoping nobody had heard him.

"That's why she was so scary this week. I thought that you guys were breaking up again or something, but no, SHE. IS. PREGNANT!" he yelled again, pressing each word.

"T.J, again, shut up!"

"Is it true, Luke?" asked Babette from the fruit aisle. "Lorelai is pregnant? You finally knocked her up?"

"Maybe, I don't know" he said, but immediately regretted it.

"Pattyyyyyyyyy!" she yelled as she dropped her basket full of fruit and ran out of the store towards Miss Patty's dance studio.

"Babette, wait!" Luke tried to call after her, but she was already out of reach "Great! Now, everyone in town will know that Lorelai is pregnant before she even does. I feel like Jackson, good job, T.J.!"

"HEY! I heard that." Jackson said from the cash register. "You can't criticize me for the no-vasectomy thing, it was two years ago and I would like to see you getting a vasectomy without even agreeing to do it in the first place."

"Sorry, Jackson."

"And I can't believe you told Babette even before you told Sookie! She's Lorelai's best friend!"

"I didn't tell Babette, T.J. did!" Luke shouted as fury was washing over him, making Doula cry.

"Oh baby, he made you cry also," T.J. said trying to calm down his daughter. "It's really a mean family, huh?"

"Luke!" Taylor called as he approached them.

"What Taylor!"

"Luke, you know that Lorelai might be pregnant, right??"

"Oh no, maybe that's why I'm trying to buy a pregnancy test here!"

"You know must acquire a permit because of that?"

"Since when do I have to get a permit to reproduce?"

"No, you don't have to get a permit for that, even though it could be a great idea. You must get a permit for your house!"

"My house?"

"Yes, with the new arrival, you're going to have five permanent habitants in a house that only has two bedrooms. This is unacceptable and not legal."

"So, you're trying to say…?"

"Either you buy a new house or you expend your house, or I call a bailiff who will kick you out of your house".

"YOU. MUST. BE. KIDDING!" he shouted.

"No need to yell, it's a public area!" said Taylor with a calm, but hypocritical voice.

"Did you just threaten me with kicking me out of my own house?"

"Just if the circumstances need it!"

"You're INSANE!" Luke said as he was pushed aside by Kirk. "What now, Kirk?"

"Will you just move a little, I have to take this," Kirk said pointing at the pregnancy tests.

"Kirk, is Lulu pregnant also?" asked Liz.

"Not yet, but I've tried to knock her up for a while now and it will soon come in handy!"

"OK! That's it! I'm leaving. You guys are all insane! Taylor, here's the money for the test, a box of glowing condom and three fingers, just guess which one is yours," he said showing him three fingers. "Here's a tip, the good one is the one in the middle. Bye Liz, bye Doula, THANKS T.J.!" he shouted as he ran out the store.

-----------

"That's it, pack your things, we're moving," Luke said as he entered the house, slammed the door and made Lorelai jump.

"What? What are you talking about?"

"Take this," he said as he showed the test to her. "As soon as it turns positive, we pack our things and go away."

"Luke, wait! What's going on?" she tried following him as he stormed into the kitchen to take a beer from the fridge.

"You know where we could move? New Mexico! It's near my other kid, it's not far from Texas where Rory could find a job and the new kid will never get sick since it's always hot out there. Sure, there're aliens, but aliens can't be weirder than those lunatics who live in this town."

"Okay, come here," she said as she made him sat down. "Breathe," she asked as he sighed, "now, tell me what happened."

"Did you know that we're gonna have to move… or remodel the house?"

"What?"

"Taylor said that if we're having a baby, we're going to be obligated to change our living situation."

"And Taylor knows that because?"

"T.J. told him!"

"Of course! … how?"

"I ran into T.J. at the market and he shouted 'Lorelai's pregnant' when he figured that the pregnancy test I was holding was yours!"

"And Taylor…?"

"Heard it, just as Liz, Doula, Babette, who ran at miss Patty's as soon as she heard, Jackson and Kirk."

"Oh no! Luke," she said amused by his silliness. "Tell me you didn't go to Doose's."

"Where did you want me to go?"

"I don't know, the place near Liz's, Woodbridge, Litchfield, Hartford, name it! But, you don't buy a pregnancy test at Doose's market!"

"Why?"

"Because, you'll come back home angry!" she stated the obvious, still having fun with all of this. "Beside, Taylor's right, we're going to have to move."

"I know," he answered, sighing and calming down. "I'm still trying to figure out a way to accommodate everybody for Christmas."

"I know, me too. So, you're better now?"

"Yeah…" he said as he sighed again.

"We won't move to New Mexico."

"It won't be great for early deliveries," he joked, grinning.

"Good, so…"

"So?" Lorelai pointed at the test. "Oh yeah, I forgot."

"It's always comforting to know that you just forgot about our potential kid," she said as she got up.

"Just take the damn test."

TBC.