100 Days of Tango

-About Food and the Lack Thereof-

From: Katekyo Hitman Reborn (copyright to Amano Akira)

by Arienna


In which the man-wife was trying to cook for him and his husband-but ended up in an epic fail

With apparent dead-panned look, Tsuna stare at the mayhem in front of him.

H...how did it end up like this...?

Right now, his kitchen is on fire. As in, every bits of it, everything was engulf in fiery fiery fire, only waiting for time to reduce them into ashes.

And right on the sidelines stood Xanxus, a cook book at hand, stirring something on a big silver bowl. Looking dead serious even, to the point that he's oblivious to all the fire and heat behind him.

"X- Xanxus!" Tsuna was forced to cried out when he saw what he saw. Panic and hectic were written all over his face. "Xanxus! What happened here?"

Hearing the soft yet panicked voice of Tsuna, Xanxus avert his gaze from his cookbook to the man in front of him. With a bored look on his face, he rolled his eyes.

"Duh, what do you see me doing here, runt? I'm cooking." Xanxus stated.

This statement made Tsuna sweatdropped. Cooking...? What in the world had gotten this scarred man in the mood for cooking? And if so, how can there was this much fire?

"Umm... so you're cooking...?" Tsuna inquired incredulously.

Once again, Xanxus exasperatedly sighed. "Yes, runt. I am trying to cook here. How stupid are you to not be able to progress that?"

Tsuna nodded in deep contemplation. Then suddenly, he noticed that something had begun creeping on Xanxus' shoulder. But the latter was either too concentrated in his current activity or too oblivious to even realize that his shoulder began to burn. How the hell could anyone not realize when their shoulder is on fire? That's not how a normal people would react!

"What's with all of this fire?" Tsuna breathed, color draining from his face.

"Tch, what fire?"

"And you do realize that you're also on fire, don't you?"

Xanxus began to blink back, surprised. "What?"

Tsuna pointed his fore finger to the direction of Xanxus' shoulder, "Your shoulders. They're on fire."

Still with a deep frown-doubled when he saw Tsuna, Xanxus took a glance at his shoulder. And then his eyes went round at the sight before him. He then proceed to take a glance at the kitchen his back, and his eyes went even wider.

"..."

Tsuna couldn't believe what he is seeing right now. You realized that your shoulder and the kitchen right behind you were on fire, yet you do nothing about it? Not a single scream to visualize your shock and no attempt to extinguish it whatsoever?

"Xanxus? Xanxus! Are you going to extinguish it or what?" Tsuna head over to Xanxus' right and quickly tried to subdue the fire with a cloth he had randomly took on the table. "Wahh! Yamamoto! YAMAMOTO! WHERE'S YAMAMOTO? SOMEBODY EXTINGUISH IT BEFORE THEY SPREAD!"

What happened before this...

Tsuna and Xanxus were still on the island, trying their best to enjoy their honeymoon as husband and wife together. Of course, as far as they are not totally creeped out of each other's presence, that is. It was so much of a drama, honeymoon life so far. Starting when they were sent here without prior notice and was stripped off of their communication device. They were cut off from practically everything related to their mafia world. They were trying desperately to find something else other than a pager Gokudera left them in case of an emergency, to protest about the choice of place for their current stay. And the one bathroom business. But to no avail.

Then came the first night together.

Tsuna had had an inner debacle whether to... um, succumb to the obligation to all of the marriage requirements, or not. Well, since he's married , there should be no problem. He was a grown up, and his partner was also a grown up. It was perfectly normal and healthy if newlyweds want to spoil themselves in their own world.

But what happened if it were a camouflage marriage and your partner is a grown up men? Tsuna and Xanxus? The meek, slender, slightly pacifist man-though not inferior to everything around him-is paired with Xanxus, the macho killer muscles and rage in one body? This takes the cake.

Well, finally, both of them came into a silent conclusion that if you tried to even take a move on the other, you will be dead meat. Sort of. Tsuna wouldn't add the 'dead meat' part, though.

And then the day after that...

The cottage they're staying was far from the cities, so they had nothing to eat except for bread and jam. Of course it was not enough for two grown up men to eat only bread for breakfast, but neither said anything about it. At least, until lunch, where they eat only with porridge. Wow, who the hell arranged them to stay at this cottage, anyway?

So when Xanxus was taking a nap at the TV room, Tsuna had sneaked out with a borrowed bicycle to the town to buy some food supplies and other things that they may need. It was difficult to came up with a recipe, since the ingredients here are quite different than those he used back home in Japan, but he finally settled for a normal fried rice and omelets for the time being.

Xanxus wake up right on time for dinner, when Tsuna had just finished making the fried rice. At first, he didn't even take a look at Tsuna's cooking. He was awfully quiet and decided to cast himself away on the porch. Confused and worried at Xanxus' weird behaviour, Tsuna finally left a big plate of fried rice on the sidelines of the porch, hoping that the man would at least eat something for dinner, even just a little bit.

And the next morning, back to the earlier commotion.

"So, you're trying to settle the bill by cooking for breakfast for us in exchange for last night's dinner?"

After evacuating from the run down kitchen, Tsuna is now sitting on the living room with Xanxus and a big bowl of smoldered bundle of... something. Xanxus, as usual, was frowning angrily at empty air. He glanced at Tsuna, then turn to the bowl. His frown deepened.

"There must be something wrong with that stupid stove," was what Xanxus said, after a long silence.

Tsuna winced and bite his lower lips. Who knows how much will cost to compensate for the ruined kitchen. Not only the stove blowed up, it manage to burn almost everything else. The cabinets, the ceramics and wallpaper on the wall, the utensils, including the jars of the untouched spinach cookies. And if he hadn't tried to desperately extinguish it with hose he took from outside the cottage, it would have creeped over to the tables and curtains.

"Did you adjust the fire properly?" Tsuna asked accusingly. "And did you follow the instructions right?"

Xanxus' lips twitched. "Those books are trash. Whoever wrote those books need to die." He folded his legs in agitation. "And the fire was too small, even when I put the knob to max."

Tsuna's eyebrows twitched when he hear this. This doesn't sound good...

"So I had to throw a little bit of my Rage Flame in."

In all the names of former Vongola bosses, who in their right mind would throw a highly destructive Flame of Rage when you were trying to cook?

"Wha... what were you trying to cook to need such a big fire, anyway...?"

Xanxus reached out his arms and lift the bowl up by it's lid. He stared at the content with a big, scornful look. "Omelets."

Tsuna inhaled a deep breath and throws his head backwards. Ugh, this is so tiring. After all of that effort trying to put out the fire, he is just tired. Bed, oh Bed, where art thou?


AN: so does that mean Yamamoto was usually the one who put out the fire everytime Tsuna or somebody else messed up at the kitchen or blow something up? Hm, that's something to investigate XD