Elena was trying to pay attention in class, she truly was. Falling behind would affect the rest of the quarter and this wasn't high school anymore. She was already on administrative probation for her failed attempts the year before (thank you Katherine) and she couldn't afford to fail any of her classes.

The problem was that it was impossible to concentrate on anything anymore. Ric had suggested taking a year off. Caroline said she needed to stay busy and should just focus on her classes and getting through another day. Jeremy wasn't saying much of anything on that or any other subject. They were both floundering and there was nothing anyone could do about it. Least of all each other.

Her phone gave a brief buzz in her pocket and she pulled it out to read the text she'd just received. Her heart skipped a beat as she saw the name Jace on the screen.

Hey its me. You have time today for that coffee date?

Elena smiled nervously as she typed out After this class I'm free. Say 4:00?

She set the phone in her lap and went back to taking notes, although her attention was more on the gadget than her professor. She smiled when it vibrated once more.

Sure. How about Fallon's? Do you know where that is?

Over by the hospital right? Sure I'll be there. She texted back.

see you then. I'm looking forward to it.

She shook her head at the curious look from Caroline. She turned her phone off and put it back in her bag, attempting once more to focus on her class. She slipped out quickly once the lecture was done, dodging her best friend on the way to the coffee shop.

It was definitely not a college hang out, she decided as she glanced at the menu board as she walked in. She spotted Jace and smiled. Just the sight of him soothed the loss just a little. He wasn't Damon. Would never be Damon but for now she was okay with that.

He smiled back and walked over to her. "Hey. " He said a little shyly.

Definitely not Damon. The love of her life didn't have a shy bone in his body. "Hey." She said in return. They got into line to place their orders. "So how did you find this place?" She asked.

"Errands on this side of town." He said with a shrug. "I'm a bit of a health food nut," The last word was forced."So it seemed a good compromise for where to meet."

Again so not Damon. Still it felt good to stand close to him. The body heat he radiated was a constant reminder that his heart was beating. That made it safe, right? "I don't mind. I should have guessed when you were out biking and stuff. "

He smiled a little sadly "Yeah, probably the last time I'm going to be doing that for a while. Life gets crazy sometimes." He said. "Great trails up by the falls though."

"it must be crazy. You look tired." She said.

"Yeah, I pulled an all-nighter last night and haven't been to bed yet."

It was a lie. She could tell. But she didn't say anything. People had the right to secrets and why he was tired was a minor one to keep really. "I thought only college students did that." Elena said as they reached the counter. She ordered her usual overly sweet highly caffeinated iced coffee. Jace ordered a small drink that came in a vile shade of green with orange undertones from the spinach and carrot juice. "You weren't kidding about health food." She said.

He paid for their drinks and laughed a little as they walked away. "No Dairy for me. And neither coffee or hot cocoa are worth it without the cream." He shrugged "you want to get out of here? There's a park not far from here."

"I'd love it." She said and let him lead the way. "So what are you researching at the Genealogy department?"

"Prominent civil war families." He said. "Cross referencing with Confederate officers and tracing their blood lines to modern times."

"Sounds complicated." She said. "Are you a history major or something?"

"I was." He said "I know it makes me sound like a horrible geek on top of being a health food nut. Its okay if you run for the hills. I wouldn't blame you."

"I happen to like geeks. " She said laughing as they found a patch of grass in the sun to sit in and watch the people in the distance. "My guardian... well he was my guardian back when I was underage... Sort of my step father... uncle oid... yeah... ahm Ric... is known to people around here as Professor Saltzman. The new history teacher."

He grinned again and her heart fluttered. "That's quite the description. I have a feeling there's a story there."

"Not a complicated one really." She lied. "I'm adopted and he's my birth mothers husband...well... widower I guess is the word for it. So ... step dad... who dated my adopted Aunt... and yeah I said not complicated didn't I. " They both laughed.

"So … what is it you're studying here at Whitmore?" he took a sip of his drink, obviously not fond of it.

"I don't know." She said honestly. "I haven't been able to decide. Just getting as many of my core classes out of the way as possible. My life has been a little crazy too. I think I'm here mostly to mark time. Wow, way to come off as pathetic." She said blushing a little.

"No, not pathetic. Trust me. I know pathetic and you're not it. Sad. Lonely. Not pathetic." Jace said.

"That obvious ?" She asked.

"Its in your eyes and mine work just fine." he said with a shrug. "So I intend to make you laugh as much as possible. It doesn't cure everything but its good to laugh anyway. The only way I know to tell fate to piss off is to laugh at it."

"I like that plan. But its only going to work if you laugh too." She said.

"I think I can arrange that." He said and took another small sip of his drink.

Caroline surveyed the house. They had gone through and unpacked almost all of the boxes in the house. It was nothing like the boarding house. It was just as old and the same mock tudor style but the layout was different, the color palette was different. The layout was very different. She liked it though. It suited Stefan. More important there weren't constant reminders of Damon everywhere. They'd left those things in the boxes with the intent of putting them in the attic for Elena when she got her own place one day after graduation. The raven painting, some of his books, knickknacks from different era's dating back to their mortal lives.

Zack's things they'd send back to the boarding house. Jeremy and the others could put them in the house and lock it up again. Stefan promised one day to sell it if they could never go home but he couldn't bring himself to do it just yet.

She looked over at the remaining pile of boxes marked Damon's Room. "Where do you want to put these?" She asked Stefan, studying his face, waiting for a sign that he was overwhelmed.

"There's a room at the end of the hall upstairs. We can put them there for now." Stefan said touching the label. His brothers name in Jeremy Gilbert's handwriting.

"You're giving Damon a room? Do you think that's a good idea?" She asked.

"I'm putting his things in a room I'm not using" Stefan said, swallowing hard.

"That's what the attic is for." She pointed out.

"I'm not going to make Elena climb into an attic to go through his things with me." Stefan said "Anything we don't want can go into the attic when we're done." Or not.

Caroline sighed and ran her hand along Stefan's arm. She wanted to tell him it would get easier but it wouldn't. Damon and Stefan had a complicated relationship. Hell everyone had a complicated relationship with Damon. But there had always been a Damon shaped place in Stefan's world. Whether it had been as his brother or his enemy or the idiot he was cleaning up after there had always been Damon. Now there wasn't. He was just gone. This was the first time that Stefan had really had to face that reality that most vampires faced. That moment when everyone from your mortal life is gone.

"I'm alright." He told her, smiling sadly.

"No you're not. "She said. "And if you were I'd be even more worried than I am right now."

He slid his arm around her to pull her close and kissed her forehead. "Damon was always going to go before me." Stefan said. "I've always known that he'd take on someone bigger than himself one day and not be able to pull off that last minute escape. Part of me has been preparing myself for this since he was commissioned into the confederate army. Part of me never wanted to accept it as a possibility."

"Its why you made him transition." Caroline said.

Stefan nodded. "I didn't want to face eternity without my brother." His shoulders sagged. "I still don't. I just don't have a choice this time."

She held him tightly. There were no words to make this right. Nothing she could say or do to take away the sorrow. All she could do was hold him in the face of it all.

He rested his chin on her head and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "Thank you." He said eventually.

"For what?" She asked looking up.

"Being here."

Caroline reached up to wipe away the tell tale dampness on his cheek. "Where else would I be?"

Alaric settled onto a bar stool and sighed tiredly. Another day of lectures come and gone. He handed the bartender his credit card to start a tab for the night and ordered his usual.

"I'll have what he's having." Enzo said, and raised an eyebrow at the glare from Ric.

"That seats taken." He said and shook his head as Enzo moved to the other side "That one too."

"No need to be rude."

"I'm not looking for a drinking buddy. I'm not looking for a pal. " Alaric told him. "And I'm definitely not looking to help you work out your aggression. So go find somewhere else to drink." He nodded his thanks to the bartender. "Don't bother getting his drink." Ric compelled the man. "He's not here."

"Ouch." Enzo said "Definitely not feeling the love here."

Ric shrugged and lifted his glass to his lips.

"So tell me again how you and Damon became such close friends cause I'm not seeing it." Enzo sat down at the bar. He looked over at the next customer and compelled him to buy him a shot .

"I don't care if you see it or not." Alaric once more shrugged and motioned for his glass to be refilled.

"He was my friend too." Enzo said and took the shot glass from the bar and downed it.

"He was your cellmate." Ric said. "Not the same thing."

"You weren't there." Enzo said.

Ric turned to face him. "Why are you here? I'm obviously not the kind of vampire you normally hang with. "

Enzo scoffed. "You don't know me."

"And I don't want to either. I'm sorry but you're on your own."

"I don't know how to break it to you, Mate, but so are you." Enzo said. "you think Stefan or Elena give a damn about anything but their own pain right now?"

"Its part of the process." He said with a shrug. "And I like being on my own."

"No you don't." Enzo sat the shot glass back down on the bar and walked away.

Once the door had closed and Enzo was gone, "No... I don't." Alaric admitted to himself.

Jeremy walked through what had once been the Salvatore Boarding house and sighed. It was empty. Nothing but the bare bones furnishings. Strange to see it that way. His back still hurt from the lifting and packing of the place. It wasn't so much that Damon was gone that bothered him. He'd never liked the guy to begin with. He was a dick, but, his sister had loved him. This had been her home after theirs had been destroyed. Now none of them could ever come back to it. Not Damon, not Stefan and not his sister.

He checked all the rooms one last time before stepping outside and locking the doors behind him. That chapter of their lives was done. He'd promised Stefan he'd keep an eye on the place. But really all that meant was swinging by to make sure the windows weren't busted and that the lawn was mowed.

"You done?" Tyler asked brusquely. "Alright, lets go." He said patting the side of Matt.s truck and opening the door.

Jeremy rolled his eyes and climbed in, followed by Tyler. "I don't need babysitting guys."

"We're not babysitting you. We're babysitting Tyler so that he doesn't kill himself one night trying to drink like a vampire again," Matt said as he started the truck and drove down the road. It was eerie. People were starting to come back but it was slowly. A family here, a couple of families there. It was like driving through a ghost town.

"I'm not going to drink myself to death. I'm not the one that lost anything," Tyler pointed out.

"Just your fangs, your immortality..." Matt said.

"And the need to howl at the moon once a month, so not being a vampire is worth it since I'm not a werewolf either. "

"Which means one, we keep you away from any weirdness that goes on in Mystic Falls because if you kill someone even in self defense you're gonna wind up scratching fleas again." Jeremy said "And two, you need to start thinking about the future because you're gonna get old and die like the rest of us "

"Gee, Jeremy, don't sugar coat it or anything." Tyler scoffed.

"There isn't going to be any more weirdness in Mystic Falls." Matt said firmly. "No magic, no magic means no vampires,no werewolves, no witches."

"Doesn't mean no travelers. We killed a lot of them but not all of them. We don't even know if we got all of them in town. There could be some of them hiding out for all we know. And they can still use their powers here."

Tyler frowned. "If you're trying to keep me sober, this conversation isn't the way to go about it."

"What do you want to do?" Matt asked "Put up a sign that says no travelers allowed? I don't know what we can do about it. Only so many buildings we can blow up."

"I'll figure it out." Jeremy said with a frown. Just as he'd figure out a way to get Bonnie back. There had to be a way. When Bonnie had brought him back he hadn't been supernatural at that point. He'd just been a kid with a bullet hole in his chest. If he could come back, so could Bonnie. The travelers might know a way.

"In the mean time, lets go get something to eat. I think the Williams have reopened the diner. Its not the grill but I guess that's what we get for blowing the place up." Tyler said.

"Small price to pay." Matt said, with a frown. A very very small price for what they'd done. He'd do it again if he had to in order to save the people that he loved but they'd killed a lot of people. They'd almost killed Caroline's mom. Damon was dead because of that explosion. Yeah the guy was a dick but he'd kind of sometimes been a friend too. They cared about the same people anyway and that counted for something. It had been a small price to pay to lose the grill. Too small. He was waiting for Karma to bitch slap them all. When she did it was going to hurt like hell.

Elena Gilbert sat on her bed in her dorm room, a journal in her lap.

Dear Diary,

I had coffee with Jace today. For the first time in months I was able to focus on the here and now. I wasn't wondering if Damon was in heaven or hell, or how I was going to get him back. I wasn't struggling just to draw breath and fake my way through the next minute.

I know he's not Damon. I know he will never be Damon. I also know that I can never be anything more than just his friend. It would be insulting to both him and Damon's memory if I were to ever get involved with him. They both deserve better than that. But still, it was good to hear his voice. Even if it wasn't really his voice.

Stefan called today. He's finally gotten unpacked at the new house. I suspect Caroline is to blame. She's good for him. Funny thing is I don't think either of them realize they are in love yet. Now is not the time to point it out to either of them.

I like the house. Its nothing like the boarding house, but it still lives up to the Salvatore name. As broken as Stefan is over his brother's death it's just as well that we can't ever go home. The new house is beautiful and I could easily see Damon walking the halls covered in bubble bath suds. But his memory doesn't haunt the house. You can turn a corner without expecting to see him standing there. Which is good for Stefan. He'd have gone mad in Mystic Falls.

He's got Damon's things ready to be gone through. I'm going to go over after my last class tomorrow to go through them with him. I've asked Alaric to come too. He was Damon's friend. His only real friend in a long time. He deserves the chance to say good bye, to have something other than empty bourbon bottles to remember him by.

The only thing I have to figure out is whether or not to tell Stefan about Jace. I don't think he'd handle it well, but I don't want them running into each other on the street either. That would be horrible for him.

Stefan raised an eyebrow at the book Caroline presented to him. He wanted to tell her to take it back, but she looked so pleased with herself he couldn't. "you know I burned all my old journals." he said instead.

"I know," She said. "New home, new life... new journal. Elena says it helps her to write things down. I know you used to love writing in yours, I thought it might help you too."

"Thank you." He told her. "I'll give it a shot."

She leaned down and kissed him on the forehead. "I have to go. Tomorrow is my early class. I'll come by when I'm done."

Stefan nodded. "Elena and Ric are coming over to go through Damon's things. I could definitely use you there. Otherwise we'll keep everything." He tried for a smile but it didn't quite work.

"Thats okay too. So long as you're not keeping it for Damon to come back to. " Caroline said.

"I know. " he said and laughed a little as Caroline handed him a pen.

"Get to writing." She said and smiled. "I'll see you tomorrow."

He watched her go, and sighed when the door closed behind her. He opened to the first blank page.

September 24, 2014

Today I am finally settled in my new house. I can't quite call it a home. It doesn't have that feel yet. I don't know that anywhere will for quite some time. But its all unpacked, thanks to Caroline, so now its not just a simple matter of putting the boxes in storage and paying the bill if I want to leave. Now its a production. I think she knew that though. I think that's why she started unpacking.

I'm trying to keep up appearances. I don't want anyone to know that I'm searching for ways to bring them back. We all agreed that there was no way to do it since we don't know where they are now. If I was certain that he was in heaven or at peace I could let it go. But its entirely to easy to imagine my brother in Reverend Fell's version of hell and I cannot leave him there. Not without trying.

I haven't seen much of Elena. Neither of us is comfortable with our shared grief. It should bring us together but I think its pushing us apart. Too many shared memories that are too hard to face. Too many times we'd caused him pain or pushed him away. Its funny how someone you love practically becomes a saint after they die. I remember making entries in another journal about how he was a monster and there was no redeeming quality in him. Even though I had every reason to feel that way, even though I was justified at the time, I am shamed by the memory of it.

I don't know how to actually live my life now that he's gone. I'll manage. It will sort itself out eventually. I didn't know how I was going to live without Elena, or how I was going to make my way through eternity as a vampire and I have managed both. I'll manage life without Damon as well. I'm just going to do everything in my power to make sure I don't actually have to. With luck they'll forgive me one day.

He reread what he'd written with a critical eye, knowing that someone (Caroline) would be snooping through it soon enough. The problem with being truthful in a diary was that all the ugliness was there for anyone to see. He'd learned that lesson. He didn't need to learn it again. Satisfied that the entry set the right tone he closed the book and left it on the table.