Walking through the corridors of the ship, Jaina fiddled with a plastic rectangular packet in her hand. They hadn't been back from their anniversary trip very long but the conversation they had had on Hapes had been the only thing on her mind since the arrived back on planet.

They hadn't really had time to talk about it again, mainly because Jaina was immediately whisked off on a mission that involved a week supervising a senate meeting about potential sanctions being put on Hutt space. She had to sit and listen meticulously for hours on end, but she still couldn't tell you why the sanctions were being put in place and if anything had even progressed. She had zoned out mid-way through the first day and preoccupied her mind with thoughts of babies.

Which was both a blessing and a curse.

The thought of actually getting pregnant and carrying a baby was almost ridiculous to her. She couldn't believe that she had actually gotten to the point in her life where it was logical for her to be a mother. If she was honest, she never felt that had been an option in her life.

Yet, when she thought about it, she realised how happy it would truly make her. If she was honest, a normal family life had been all she had ever really wanted and now she had a real chance to have it, with the love of her life, nonetheless.

However, she still had a nagging feeling at the back of her mind that was bothering her. She didn't want to admit what it really was about, because then she would have to face it.

She found Jag sitting on the couch with his feet up on the coffee table, his usual relaxed position at the end of the night. He had his right arm spread out on the back of the couch and a cup of caf in the other and his focus was glued to the screen of the holoscreen placed a few feet away from him. He hadn't noticed that she was now leaning on the archway that provided the opening from the ship's corridor to its communal area.

Communal area was a generous term. It was realistically an open space that they had cleverly rearranged, so it could not only hold the kitchen, but also a two-seater couch, coffee table, holoscreen, a dining table that could hold three people if they tried and two small wooden chairs.

When the Jedi had moved to Ossus, Jaina and Jag had chosen to stay on their ship which they had parked just outside the base of the new grounds. When the masters had finally gotten around to assigning everyone quarters, the newlyweds were offered a spacious apartment in the temple. However, when the time came for them to move, they found themselves not wanting to leave. The privacy that they had acquired in the months of living on the docked yacht was something they felt was too valuable to give up. It became something of a perfect home for them, which was ironic for two pilots.

When Jag finally felt her presence in the room, he whipped his head around to look at her, but before he could say anything his eyes were drawn to the plastic packet in her hand and he suddenly found that whatever he was going to say had suddenly vanished from his mind.

"I'm about to throw these out." Jaina said in an almost questioning tone. "This is still what we want to do, right?"

"Of course." Jag said as he took his feet off the caf table and leaned forward putting his elbows on his knees. "Throw them in the bin right now."

Although she knew he had said it in a joking tone, Jaina still couldn't bring herself to give him a full smile. Instead, she gave him a tight lipped one and couldn't meet his eyes for too long. Kind of like she had done on Hapes when he had made the quip that had lessened her enthusiasm.

Noticing this, Jag stood up and reached for her, but when she didn't accept his offer, he spoke timidly. "Unless you are having a change of heart?"

"No. I haven't had a change of heart, I want this as much as you do" she said with confidence that surprised even herself. It was all true what she said, but one single thought put her over the edge.

"Then why do you look like you would rather jump into sarlac pit and listen to it eat you, than throw these out?"

By the time Jaina had looked up, Jag was now standing right in front of her and hand was now running up and down her arm that was exposed because of her short-sleeved jumpsuit. The feeling of his hand on her skin caused Goosebumps to rise and she saw the understanding that was pouring through his eyes. It was then she knew that he was going to get it out of her. He had an amazing ability to do that. Sometimes he even knew what was wrong with her before she fully knew, but this time, he was genuinely perplexed.

"What is it Jaina?"

Knowing she needed to be honest with him, she forced what was truly troubling her to the front of her mind and it came out as almost word vomit and she found herself not being in control of what she was saying, so much so it came out in a rushed fashion.

"I'm terrified of having twins, Jag. I don't think I could mentally handle it."

Her admission was met with silence from Jag and she almost felt ashamed of what she had just said. It was a completely stupid thing to worry about, she knew that, but it had been the thing that kept her from jumping two feet first into this like she had wanted to.

Finally, after the silence had go on for some time, Jag finally spoke.

"Why didn't you say anything before?"

Feeling as if she was being questioned, her defence mechanism of anger and frustration started to show, and she pulled her arm away from Jag. Looking up and him fully now she threw her hands up in the air and started pacing as she spoke.

"I don't know! I hadn't thought about till you had to go remind me that it is practically set in stone that we will have them thanks to my stupid genetic code! I just can't sit here for the rest of my life and see my children have something that I had and remind me every day that I will never have it again! What if I resent them for it? I'm going to be jealous of my own children with something they have no control over."

Exasperated by her speech, that she had mainly said to herself, she put her head in her hands and sagged against the wall.

"Hey" Jag said as he walked over to her and pulled her hands down from her face. "Look at me."

The exact same understanding was there in his eyes, like It always was.

"Listen to me. It's ok to be scared Jaina, I understand. I mean, I don't know what it really feels like, but I can see what this is doing to you. If this is really too much, then it is too much."

Sensing he wasn't finished with his statement and deep down wanting him to convince her, she urged him to go on. "But?"

"But do you really want that fear to stop us from having the one thing that both of us want so much? Don't we deserve it? After everything we have been through and all the times we have let fear of breaking the rules or not living up to our responsibility control what we do, I think we need to face that fear and do it anyway."

Feeling as if a real weight had been lifted off her shoulders and with Jag holding her wrists in ether of his hands, she threw herself into his arms and was met with the warmth of his chest as he wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head.

"You're right" she mumbled into his shirt and squeezed him one last time before stepping away from him and in one swift motion she pressed the trash compactors door open and threw the plastic container full of contraceptive pills down it.

Finally, the smile that she had wanted to give him before suddenly automatically appeared on her face and when she turned around to look at him fully, he was mirroring her expression except he could see a hint of pride in his crooked smile. Bending down he grabbed her behind the knees and picked her up, so she was flushed against him.

"I'm very proud of you" he said in between kisses. "I think we should get started right away."

"I agree. Maybe if we are fast we can-" she said before she was cut off with a neck kiss and suddenly she couldn't form words anymore.