Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!!!! NOTHING AT ALL! I don't wish to get sued.
A/N: This takes place in their sixth year… but you'll have to use your imagination a bit as always in fan fiction. I love to hear from you if you liked the story! Please Read and Review, but no flames. I don't feel they are necessary.
Hermione found herself lying face down on her bed, tears still forming in her eyes, after she used the floo to get back home. She didn't want to talk or see anyone right now, especially her mother. She hates anyone seeing her this upset, but she couldn't stop herself. She hugged her pillow tightly to her chest as she continued to sob. Her once familiar purple room seems so distant. She closes her eyes, hoping that she would wake up in Hogwarts, that this is all a nightmare and that her father was fine.
She hears a faint knock on her door, "Hermione?" It was Cosette, one of the few people she would call a friend from around the muggle neighborhood. One that she usually was very fond of, but today didn't want to be bothered, "Hermione, can I come in?"
"No." Hermione says simply.
"Too bad." The girl says opening the door, "I just heard, and I am so sorry. It didn't take you too long to get back home." Hermione turns her head away from the girl, "How are you? I am so sorry to hear about your father."
"Cosette, I'm really not in a mood to talk, if you mind."
"I know, but I just wanted to make sure you were ok, and to see if you needed anything."
Hermione puts on her strongest face she could muster and turns to her friend, "I'm fine. I just need to be alone."
The girl nods and smiles at her, "Very well. You know where I am if you need me."
"Right." Hermione says, staring at her, willing the tears not to fall. Cosette squeezes her arm gently and walks out of her room, closing the door. Hermione immediately starts to cry again. 'Harry and Ron would never believe me. They would have bloody well known that I am not alright.' She thinks to herself.
She turns over on her stomach clutching the pillow and looks at her nightstand. She sees a picture her mother took over the summer of her father and herself. She sits up and takes the picture in her hand, watching the non-magical picture stare her in the face. Her hair was tied back out of her face, her fathers arm around her as they smile in front of a waterfall. Tears of sadness turn quickly to anger as she looks at the picture for several minutes. She places the picture back on the nightstand before she takes it back in her hand and hurls it against the door. She hears the glass shatter and flops down on her bed crying again. The next thing she remembers is her mum at her door.
"Hermione?" She says softly, her voice full of grief and tears, "Hermione?"
She rubs the sleep out of her eyes and looks at the clock. It says that it was eleven at night. She rubs her eyes again and turns her back to the door as it opens slowly, "Honey, I brought you up some food. I reckoned you couldn't have eaten much this evening." She takes a step into the room and hears crunching underneath her foot. She raises her foot and sees the smashed picture frame and ripped picture. She picks up the picture and looks at it, "This was your favorite picture. Why break it?"
"It doesn't matter any more." Hermione says, not looking at her mum, "Why should I keep memories around when he left me."
"Hermione Jean Granger that is a HORRID thing to say! How dare you!" Her mother says, "Do you think he WANTED to leave us? Do you think he just went on a holiday? No, he died! What do you think he just planned to leave us?! We did not raise a daughter to be selfish!" Her mum ranted not really acknowledging what she was saying, just venting her emotions that were turned completely on Hermione, "How dare you!"
Hermione was taken back by her mother's tone and immediately started to cry, "I'm sorry mum." She sobs.
"So am I." She says, taking her daughter into her arms.
"I miss him so much!"
"So do I luv." Her mother says, rubbing her back, "We'll get through this."
Hermione nods against her mothers embrace. She feels much like a child and hates herself for it, but she can't seem to stop crying. "I'm glad your professors got the news to you so quickly."
The memories flood back in her mind of how her Professors told her. She feels her stomach tighten to the point where she felt like she was going to be sick. "Mum?"
"Yes?"
"I want to be alone, if you don't mind." She says, tears still pooling in her deep brown eyes.
Her mother looks at her shocked, "Um, no that's fine, but you can't be alone forever."
Hermione turns back around, not facing her mother and closes her eyes. Her hopes that this was all a bad dream seemed more slim. She tosses and turns for most of the night, before she hears a flutter in the window. Her clock tells her that it was five in the morning. A familiar hoot makes her turn on the light and she sees Hedwig sitting in her window with a note tied to her leg, "Go away Hedwig." Hermione says sorely. She didn't want to hear from anyone right now, not even her best friends. The owl continues hooting as she flies into Hermione's window, "Didn't you hear me? Go! Get out of here! Go back to Hogwarts!" She says, standing up and shooing Hedwig out from her room, slamming the windows closed. Hedwig stays out on the windowsill waiting for Hermione to open the window back up. Hermione lies in bed and thinks about all the events that had occurred in the past twelve hours and sobs uncontrollably again. She feels horrible for what she did to Hedwig, but can't bring herself to open the window. Sometime between five and six in the morning, she falls asleep again. She sleeps until her mother comes in the next morning with the owl perched on her shoulder, "Hermione, you have a visitor." She says.
Hermione opens her eyes, and looks at Hedwig sitting on the inside of her window, 'Mum must have let her in' she thinks sorely.
Hedwig flies over to Hermione and sits on her dresser at the same time she hears the door open and a voice say, "Aren't you going to open your letter?" Hermione turns her back on both Hedwig and her mother, with no sound. She silently wishes for them both to leave, "Well when you are ready I guess." Her mother says, and leaves her room, closing the door.
"I thought I told you to leave last night." Hermione says, as Hedwig hoots at her, holding her leg out with the letter tied to it, "Fine!" She says, and opens the letter reading:
Dear Hermione,
Ron, Ginny, and I wanted to send you an owl to see how you are doing. We are so very sorry to hear about your father. I wish there was something that I could do for you. I know you are probably also sick of everyone saying how sorry they are as well.
Anyway, we really miss you, and hope to see you soon! Hogwarts just isn't the same without you Hermione.
If there is anything we can do, just owl us!
Love,
Ron, Ginny, and Harry
Hermione crumples up the paper and tears come again, "Stop it Hermione!" She scolds herself, "This isn't going to make him come back! You are acting like a child."
Hedwig nips affectionately at her hand, "Oh Hedwig…" She sobs, patting the bird, "Why did this happen?"
Back at Hogwarts, a few days later, Harry and Ron were eating breakfast, "How do you think she is?" Harry asks his friend.
"It's Hermione. She'll be fine." Ron says, sounding doubtful.
Harry looks at her empty seat and sighs, "I wish there was something I could do. I wonder if Hedwig got to her or not."
"I doubt we will hear from her if she got the owl." Ron says, eating his porridge.
"She shouldn't be alone during this time. Her friends are here!" Harry says outraged,
"She shouldn't have to go through this pain either! No one should."
"I agree mate, but she doesn't have a choice now, does she?"
"I can't get her look out of my mind, when she left crying. I've seen her cry before, but not like this."
"Nor I." Ron shrugs.
They finish eating and then head down to the bottom of Hogwarts for Snape's class. He was already there when they all entered. Harry and Ron take their usual seat, and await his instruction, "Homework." He says, as he raises his wand and collects all the parchments, turning a curled lip to Harry and Ron as their parchments were collected, "Shall I expect, since your little friend Miss Granger was not able to review your papers, that they will be considered a zero? Will you take over her place and answer all her questions as well? I shall miss hearing her voice."
Fire flies out of Harry's eyes, "How dare you. Don't you DARE speak ill against Hermione! You HAVE to know what she has been through and still you belittle us, and she is not even here to defend herself."
"Ten points from Gryffindor."
"For what?!" Harry says, standing up, "For defending myself and my friend?!"
"Careful Potter, or you'll be serving detention with me this weekend."
Ron nudges Harry to get him to shut up, and Harry reluctantly sits back down. His stare never leaves the Professor as they do their class work.
"Where is the filthy little mudblood anyway?" Malfoy asks after class is over.
"Don't you DARE call her that!" Harry says.
"Why? That's what she is! Her and that muggle family of hers. She should have NEVER been let in Hogwarts. It is people like you who accept them that makes being a wizard horrible."
Ron looks at Malfoy, "You better watch your bloody mouth Malfoy."
"Or what. Your family IS pure blood, unlike that mudblood you hang out with. So, where is the little know it all mudblood? Is she ill, or did something happen to her horrific muggle family. It would be a gift if something did happen to her family. No mudblood should ever live in happiness. Not a drop of wizarding blood in her, yet she has the gift. Did her family finally realize that she was a freak Potter?"
"Watch your tone Malfoy." Ron says, raising his wand.
"Or what? That filthy mudblood isn't here to help you.
Harry lunges at Malfoy, fists drawn connecting with his nose, knocking him onto the floor, "How dare you!" He screams, getting all the punches he can at him, "Her father dies, and all you can do is call her that HORRIBLE name! What the bloody hell is wrong with you?!" With a final punch, he feels someone pull him off of Malfoy. Struggling against the arms that hold him back, "Pure blood is not the way to be, and I'll take a muggle as a friend before you ANY DAY!" He continues to scream at Malfoy, his green eyes blazing.
"ENOUGH POTTER!" Snape says, "Fighting in the hall way! Have you lost your MIND! Thirty points from Gryffindor."
"And what about Malfoy?!" Harry yells in Snapes face, "What about him for using the term Mudblood? What about him for badmouthing Hermione behind her back, calling her awful things?"
"Detention Potter."
"No." Harry says.
"DETENTION! 8:00PM TOMORROW!" Snape says coolly, "Take this to Professor McGonagall."
Storming away with Ron on his tale he takes the detention letter to McGonagall. He doesn't even knock as he walks through the door, throwing the paper down on her desk, "What is this all about Mr. Potter?"
"I've got detention with Snape."
"Professor Snape." McGonagall reminds Harry, "Fighting Mr. Potter, why on earth were you fighting Mr. Malfoy?"
"He was badmouthing Hermione."
"That is no reason to fight…"
"He called her a mudblood." Harry sputters, "She isn't even here to defend herself! She is sitting at home waiting to bury her father, and all he can do is call her that! Professor, it isn't fair! Nothing happened to Malfoy when he called her that! Nothing happens when he was talking ill on her family and life! Why do I get punished for trying to protect my best friend! I shouldn't have to serve detention with him! He also took 30 more points away from our house."
"Mr. Potter, I understand that you want to help Miss Granger in all ways possible, but fighting is not one of them. I will talk to Professor Snape and explain to him all that has happened in the past twelve hours, and we shall see if he would be willing to relieve you of your detention, but you in return MUST promise me something…"
"What that?"
"That you NEVER throw the first punch again. You be the bigger person."
"Yes Ma'am."
"Very well, now go ahead on to your next class. Here is a note explaining your tardiness."
"Thank you." He says, walking out of the office and down the hallway to his next class.
Harry and Ron meet up in the common room after their class apart from each other, "All right Harry?"
"I'm fine Ron." Harry sighs, sitting on one of the arm chairs.
"What did Professor McGonagall say?"
Harry really didn't want to talk about what happened earlier the day, but he never kept anything from Ron… or Hermione, "She told me that she would talk to Snape and see if he'd drop my detention."
"Bloody git Malfoy is."
"Yeah…"
"I should have hexed him."
"I wanted to kill him." Harry says simply, "How dare he make fun of Hermione. She isn't even here to defend herself!"
"I know mate." Ron says, sighing, "I wish we knew how she was. Did Hedwig come back yet?"
"No. I told her to stay with Hermione as long as she needed her. Hopefully she is helping her through this, since we can't."
"I wish we could see her."
"Me too." Harry sighs, "It's not fair… it's really not fair."
Ron agrees silently, as they stare at the fire. It feels empty in the common room without Hermione. Both boys missed her a great deal.
After dinner, Harry goes to see the headmaster, "Professor Dumbledore?"
"Hello Harry." He smiles kindly.
"Hello."
"What do I owe the honor?"
"Professor, I was wondering if you have heard any news on Hermione?"
"I have."
"How is she?"
Professor Dumbledore looks at the concerned boy, "She is as good as can be expected."
"Have they had the funeral?"
"It is this weekend."
"Professor…." Harry says, before he was cut off.
"I heard you and Draco were in quite a tango this morning."
Harry lowers his head, "Yes sir."
"I have talked to Professor Snape and he has agreed to drop your detention, this time." Harry smiles at the news, "HOWEVER…" Dumbledore continues, "You must understand the seriousness of your fighting. Under NO circumstances should you ever raise your hand to another student. It does not matter what they say, it is only words Mr. Potter."
"But sir, a mudblood…"
"I have talked to Mr. Malfoy about that. Slytherin also lost 30 points as well, due to Draco's ignorance. There was no reason for him to speak ill of Hermione, and you know that. Fighting Harry… next time it will not be tolerated."
Harry nods to the professor, "He just made me so mad. Hermione is not even here to defend herself, and that word… it's awful. There is not a spell that Hermione can't do. She is the best in our class."
Dumbledore smiles at Harry, "So, no more fighting?"
"No sir." He says, "I still am extremely worried about Hermione though. Sir, would it be possible that this weekend, I could attend the funeral? I don't think she can do this alone… she needs us."
"You and Mr. Weasley then?"
"Yes sir. I sent her an owl a few days ago and haven't heard back since. I told Hedwig to stay with her if she needed her, and she hasn't returned to me either. I just need to make sure Hermione is alright."
Dumbledore smiles, "You are an honorable friend and she is lucky to have you."
"Can we attend?"
"I shall let you know by the weekend. I must talk to Professor McGonagall about it, and see her views."
"Thank you sir." Harry says, smiling and standing up, "Good night."
"Good night Harry." He says smiling at him.
Meanwhile, back in London…
"Hermione, come down to dinner."
"I'm not hungry." She says, her back towards the door, watching Hedwig sitting on her dresser.
"You have to eat." Her mum says, soothingly.
"I'm not hungry." She says again, her face stained with tears.
"Just a little bit?"
"I'M NOT HUNGRY!" She says, raising her voice, "JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!"
Her mother sighs and heads back downstairs closing her door before her exit.
"I can't cry anymore." She tells Hedwig, "I want to, but I can't. I'm all cried out." Hedwig hoots and flies down to the nightstand, "No one could ever understand how bad this hurts, not even my Mum."
About two hours later, Hermione hears her mother enter her room again, "You haven't eaten in two days. I want you to eat this, and then come downstairs. Your grandparents are here. They want to see you." Hermione turns and looks over at her mum, sitting up on her bed she takes the plate and cup of tea. "Why is that bird still here?"
Hermione shrugs her shoulders, "She doesn't want to leave yet."
"Well, don't you think your friend who sent it is missing their pet."
"Not as much as I miss my father." She replies, taking a small bite of food.
"I expect to see you downstairs in a few minutes love, ok?" Hermione nods, and gives Hedwig a piece of her bread, "Don't feed the bird all of your sandwich please."
"Hedwig." Hermione says quietly.
"Excuse me?"
"Hedwig." Hermione repeats herself, "Her name is Hedwig."
"The bird has a name?"
Hermione nods, "Hedwig."
"What an odd name…"
"No it's not. It's from our History of Magic book!"
"You know that I am not familiar with the book."
Hermione scowls at her mother, and begins to raise her voice, "You may not be, but my father was! He always tried to be involved in my magical abilities! He always made sure that he knew little things that were important to me! He never let me use my powers, sure because I live in a muggle town, but he sure as bloody hell wanted to know about my school!"
"Hermione, I do know things that are important to you."
"Oh yeah? What was the first spell I ever conjured in school? What are my house colors? Who is my favorite professor? Do you know anything about that? Do you know who the professor of my house is? Do you know what my score was in my potions test?"
"I know what is important…"
"This is ALL important to me mother! This is who I am! I'm a witch! My best friends in the whole world are wizards! Harry and Ron are the two people who know me inside out! You don't even know me as well as they do and they are my best friends! Daddy knew all the answers to my questions! You know why mother? Because he took the time to know. He wasn't ashamed about who I am…."
"Is that what you think? That I am ashamed of who you are?! That I never took the time or was interested in what you were learning in your school?! You are a straight A student. Your OWLS were top marks! You got all outstanding, except for one exceeding expectations! You are my daughter, and I know what is important to you. Just because I don't ask questions doesn't mean I don't know what goes on in your life there. You are blaming the wrong person right now Hermione, and I don't appreciate it. I miss your father just as much as you do, so check your attitude. The funeral is in a few days, and all you are doing is thinking about yourself!"
Tears revisit Hermione's eyes as she answers her sobbing, "I just miss him so much mum. I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye."
"Don't shut me out Hermione." Her mother says, sitting on the bed next to her, "You are all I have now. It's just the two of us. We need to pull through this." She pulls her daughters hair away from her neck, wrapping her in a hug, just like Professor McGonagall did in the head masters office, "Don't shut me out, promise me."
Hermione sobs against her mother, and nods, "I'll try."
"I need you just as much as you need me." Her mum reminds her. After they both calm themselves down, "Now, eat please, and then come downstairs and say hello to your grandparents."
Hermione nods reluctantly, not really wanting to leave her room and slowly picks at her food. After eating, the food sits heavily in her stomach as she looks at Hedwig, "I don't know how much longer I can do this. I need to push this past me. I can't sit here wallowing in self pity, can I?" The owl hoots and Hermione strokes her back.
Hermione was just about to go downstairs when a little ball of feathers bursts through the window. Hedwig looks at the other owl in annoyances as he flies around Hermione's head furiously. Hermione looks up and says, "I can't see what you have if you're flying all around my head like that Pig! Settle down! Pigwidgeon!" She says, furious at the little bird making such a fuss. Finally the bird settles on her shoulder and she takes off the note.
Hey Hermione,
Just checking in on you, seeing how you were doing. We really miss you here at Hogwarts. Ron and I can't wait till you get back. We miss you Hermione. This place just isn't the same without you. Ron says he has his potion homework waiting for you to review when you get back.
So how are you doing really? Is Hedwig being good company for you? I figure she was still with you since I haven't seen her in about four days or so. Did Pig do alright? He was extremely excited to deliver this message to you. I'm sure he is flying around your head as we speak.
I know that the funeral is on Saturday. If you want to talk, just OWL me back. It's hard isn't it?
Hopefully seeing you soon,
Love,
Harry and Ron.
Hermione reads and re-reads the letter. She wipes tears away. She misses her friends so much, but was she going back? She didn't even think about it. She isn't even sure she could go back after her father died just a few days ago. All she wants to do is get through the tragedy.
She sat on her bed with a piece of parchment, but still couldn't bring herself to write to them. She had nothing to say at the moment. Instead she pat Pig and closed the door to her bedroom, heading down to see her grandmum and granddad. What she really wanted to do was stay inside her room, not talking to anyone.
"Professor McGonagall?" Harry says, walking into her office. It was Friday afternoon, and right before quidditch practice.
"Yes Mr. Potter?"
"Did you talk to Professor Dumbledore?"
"I did." She says, looking up at him from her paper grading, "I think it is a wonderful idea for you to go to the funeral."
"Can Ron come as well?"
"Yes." She nods, "But, there are certain rules…"
"I've lived with Muggles before Professor." He smiles at her.
"You have, but not during a death. The usual applies, no magic, but you also must understand that Hermione is in a very difficult spot right now. Do NOT ask her when she is coming back. She will be back in her own time. Do not force her to talk about anything that she doesn't want to. She will talk on her own in her own time. It is going to be very difficult for her. She is not going to be in a good state of mind."
"She needs us Professor."
"I believe you're right, which is why, I shall floo you out of here to the Granger's network, and from there you will go to the funeral home. Be sure to dress appropriate. You MUST be back to Hogwarts at four pm. That gives you several hours with Hermione."
"Right."
"Meet me here tomorrow at Twelve."
Harry smiles and nods, "Thank you Professor." He runs off to tell Ron, "Ron! Guess what!"
"What?"
"You and I are going to London."
"What?!" He sputters.
"McGonagall gave permission for us to go and check up on Hermione."
"Bloody brilliant!" He smiles, "When do we leave?"
"Tomorrow. It's for the funeral."
"Right." He smiles.
"I can't wait to see her!" Harry smiles, "I just hope she's ok."
Ron agrees silently and goes back to reading his text book. He adds, "Do you think she'd look over my potions paper when we get there?"
Harry laughs at his friend, "Are you mad?!"
"Well, I just figured when we are there we should act as normal as possible. What is more normal than her looking over our papers?"
Harry playfully punches Ron in the arm, "No, I don't believe we are bringing our papers with us." Ron laughs, and rubs his arm, before Harry continues, "We should probably bring her some of her text books, so she can keep up with her studies."
"What if she doesn't want to keep up with them?"
"It's Hermione!" Harry says shocked with Ron's comment.
"I know, but books are always what Hermione grabs first, what if she doesn't plan on coming back to Hogwarts."
This comment stuck in Harry's mind. He knows that there is a possibility that she may not come back to Hogwarts, but he didn't really put any thought into it. Ron's right though, why didn't she bring her books? That is always the first thing Hermione grabs before going anywhere. What would they do if she doesn't come back. They would lose their best friend. McGonagall's talk with him popped into his head and he remembers how he was NOT allowed to bring up coming back to school to her. He promised that he wouldn't, "I guess we'll just have to wait and see Mate." Harry sighs, looking at his open Potions book.
He and Ron sat in silence as they work on their papers. Tomorrow they would know how Hermione truly was, and it was a bit scary. Would she come back? Would she be happy to see them? They would just have to wait and see.
A/N: So like it? Love it? Comments? Review please! Chapter 3 will be up soon. The Funeral…and much more!
Thanks a lot!
Stary
