1x02 Nanny McDead

Richard Castle closed his drawer, with a smile still on his face. Alexis truly was the perfect daughter and she always managed to make him feel better.

He often had wondered if him being her nanny bothered her - and even if Alexis' answer probably hadn't been a completely honest one, it had reassured him that he had made the right decision.

Castle leaned back, closed his eyes and remembered the day Meredith had left them for good. For him, it had been a relief, but Alexis hadn't been able to understand at first that her Mommy wasn't coming back.

Explaining this to her had been one of the most difficult things in his life.

"Daddy?" Alexis sat in his lap and toyed with the buttons of his shirt. "Where did Mommy go?"

Rick took a deep breath. "She's going to live with her special friend now."

"The guy who went to the zoo with us last week?" She asked innocently, not realizing what was going on.

"Yes, sweetie, that one. Did you like him?"

Alexis shook her head. "Not really. He didn't let me have ice cream because he said I would only make my dress dirty."

Rick smiled. "Do you want ice cream now, sweetie?"

Alexis' eyes lit up and she ran to the fridge, patiently waiting there for Rick to get the ice cream. When she had her bowl, they went back to the sofa.

"Alexis", Rick said, shifting his daughter in his lap so he could face her. "Would you like to move to another city?"

"What does that mean, move? Does that mean we take this house and put it somewhere else?"

Rick laughed. "Not exactly. It means that we put our stuff in boxes and bring them to a new house and you get a new room!"

"A princess room?" Alexis asked and stopped eating her ice cream for a moment.

"Yes, a princess room, if you want to", Rick agreed. "We want you to have a wonderful new room, don't we?"

"What about Mommy? Will she get a nice new room too?"

Here it was. How could he explain to his little daughter that her Mommy was gone?
"Mommy will not come with us. She has her special friend here and her job. But she will come to visit us!" At least he hoped she would.

Being who she was, Meredith had vowed to visit Alexis every second weekend but Rick knew that she would never do that. If he got lucky, she would come every second month. But Alexis was satisfied for the moment.

After his daughter had gone to bed that day, Rick called his agent in New York and asked for an update on her search for an apartment.

Luckily, she had managed to find one. Not too small but also not big enough to feel lonely and in a good neighborhood. Without thinking twice, he told her to buy it so he and Alexis could move as soon as possible.

Two weeks later, everything was settled. Rick had packed everything and Alexis had tried to help him - but she was way too excited to actually pack anything except for her armada of stuffed animals.

Meredith came to hug Alexis goodbye and then they were on the plane to New York. The time had passed so quickly and Rick hadn't even had the chance to think about Meredith again but now, on the plane, Alexis sleeping next to him, the thoughts came back.

What had he done wrong? All he wanted was a loving family for his daughter and Meredith had been too selfish to even try to make it work. Now they were officially divorced and he had sole custody over his daughter.

Meredith could continue living her fun, uncomplicated life without constantly worrying about a child at home. Not that she had done it differently in the past years, but now she didn't even have to feel guilty about it. Meredith was happy.

But as he looked down on his sleeping daughter, Rick realized that he was happy too, probably happier than Meredith would ever be. She would never know what it really meant to be a parent.

And that was why he made a very important decision. His agent had arranged a meeting with several possible nannies for Alexis. He sent them all away.

Some of them were nice, young girls, first time away from home, others were experienced old ladies who would spoil his child rotten and knit her thousands of jumpers and others just wanted to get closer to him but none of them were right.

None of them could replace a parent and that's what he wanted for Alexis. A parent, not a replacement.
He could be a nanny too and that was exactly what he planned to do. Richard Castle, bestselling author, divorced, single parent and now nanny.

The tabloids would love that but he didn't care. Meredith was gone and he could decide what to tell the press about himself and his child. He was finally free to do whatever he wanted.

Being a nanny. That wasn't something Rick had done before but it was definitely something he looked forward to.

A knock on his door woke him up from his thoughts.

"Everything okay?" Martha Rodgers asked her son. "Alexis told me what you talked about."

Castle smiled. "Yeah. I'm fine."

"That's good, kiddo. And for the record, you raised her better than any nanny could have done." Martha smiled too and disappeared to the kitchen.

Castle looked after her and said to himself, "Yeah, I know."

A/N: First of all, thanks to everyone who read, favorited, subscribed and reviewed so far! Keep the alerts coming :D

I hope you like this chapter, I know it's a bit boring and no Caskett but it was interesting to write… I know some of the details probably aren't right (sorry for that) but that's okay, right?

I'm really looking forward to the journey through the seasons of Castle!

K