Last Confessions of a Goddess of Death
Last Confessions of a Goddess of Death
Note: The lyrics used during Misa's presentation of her 'discovery' and orchestration of her and Light's defense is from the song "My Will" sung by dream. It is, for Inu-Yasha fans, the first credits song of Inu-Yasha. I felt that it was perfect to describe what Misa was trying to do.
Please don't hurt me for what happens in this chapter. Really don't!
I decided that the fic would be jointly narrated by Misa and Rem. Misa's narrative is in itallics. Rems is in bold.
In the shadowed darkness, it was not a deathnote that the shinigami Rem wrote in, but a testament to the life of the human whom she had devoted over a decade to the protection of.
I am Rem, the shinigami who witnessed and ended the conflict between Kira and the Detective known as L. Misa's will protected them only so far, I needed to distract Ryuuzaki from Light and Misa. For this plan to work……
Goddess forgive what I set out to do, when Misa requested to me that I fix it so that Light will never become Kira, she did not realize that if the Yotsuba kira was caught, and no kira became his replacement, that she would give just as much a suspicion to L as it would have if L Lawliet had found evidence supporting Light and Misa as suspects.
A scapegoat and a prolonging of the horrors of that era, that was the price that I myself paid. That part was not Misa's doing but mine. It is a task that I look upon with complete distaste. Killing a human to survive is one thing, doing what I did on such a high level, ensured my fame among my own kind, and my infamy to the humans who dwell on the Earth below.
But perhaps I am getting ahead of myself, the situation and the nature of Misa's unusual and completely unexpected request astounded me. I had meant only to warn her of Higuchi's designs, not conduct a symphony of destruction spanning over eight years and far too much turmoil. A shinigami kills to survive, not for pleasure.
That was what I keep telling myself, but listen to my story……
Misa stood, eyes round at what Rem was telling her. This creature, this goddess of death Rem. She had stated that Misa was the second Kira, and that Light Yagami /was/ Kira. That what was unfolding now was part of Light Yagami's plan.
Several things went through her mind at once. Chief among them the sad realization. As Kira, Light had brought the world to its knees, if he returned what would Light do? He would /have/ to kill L.
Kill Ryuuzaki-kun.
Kill the person he loved the most.
"I'm happier than I'd ever been in my life."
Every evening after Light and Ryuuzaki went to bed, Watari let Misa into the library to look for books to read. She used it as an excuse to pass by Light and Ryuuzaki's room, even for a moment. Or she went to the control room to clean up, and watched over their activities by the surveillance cameras.
She had heard more lovemaking from their room. It made her sad, and happy at once.
Ryuuzaki had eyed her the first day she skipped down from her room with a novel in hand. "You never struck me as the kind to read novels Amane-chan."
"Then I guess I never struck you well huh? You hand me fashion magazines from the 1990s that I've read a million times and movies I've seen over and over! They're booooring!" Misa whined.
Watari had intervened on Misa's behalf. "She said that she was bored, I offered to let her into the library."
"I see, then place surveillance cameras in the library as well."
"They are already installed Ryuuzaki."
"Hmmm……" Ryuuzaki said disinterestedly.
And that was the end of the matter. Misa watched her step, was quiet in the library, and caused no trouble. And was rewarded with stack upon stack of books.
When she got the chance, Misa withdrew into the stacks of books and stories. She had no contact with the outside world aside from her movies and modeling gigs. And of course, Misa acted like normal otherwise, dragging Light and Ryuuzaki down to her quarters for a 'Date.' She hung off Light like usual, annoying him, but really she was keeping an eye on him. Making absolutely sure that Ryuuzaki wasn't hurting /her/ Light.
"It has to be boring in here." Light commented. "No wonder you picked up so many novels."
Misa stuck out her tongue. "Raaaaitooo-kuuun! You and Ryuuzaki-kun use the library! Why not me?"
"It just isn't like you." Light pointed out. "That's all I'm saying."
Misa dropped an entire stack of fashion magazines, dating from 1995 to 2002. "Ryuuzaki-kun, in case you haven't gotten the memo, Backstreet boys broke up, Brittany is a slut with a ton of kids in tow, Jay-z and Beyonce are the hip hop couple to beat, and the spiderman movie came out on DVD over two years ago."
"That is good to hear."
"I want something neeeeeeeewwwww!"
"Those books are old." Light pointed out reasonably.
"Not to me! When my parents died I tried not to read at all!" Misa sputtered. "So I never read anything!"
"Whatever."
Light's behavior had become more and more puzzling, one minute he'd be excited, eager, enthusiastic. The next he'd be his usual normal self. And then the slightest thing could have him offended with his nose in the air or whimpering about how whoever or whatever wasn't being fair.
Misa would have liked Light being more sociable if it hadn't been so downright out of his character. And so she was just as concerned for him as he was puzzled by her sudden interest in books.
Misa had carefully kept a listening ear on the other two, and heard their conversation one night. Picking up some books from the control room where she'd left them, she paused briefly by the surveillance monitor for Light and Ryuuzaki's room.
"Light you haven't been yourself lately." Ryuuzaki said, from where he held Light curled in his arms. "You've been going to the bathroom constantly, your moods are all over the map, you've gained weight. And your headaches are starting to come back again."
"Its just the stress Ryuuzaki, I'll be fine when we get a new lead." Light said with the sort of tone that told Misa that he was trying to reassure himself as well.
"Here." Ryuuzaki turned them over so that Light was on his back, and he straddling Light's knees. He ran a hand along Light's abdomen. "See?"
"I was sitting around in prison for almost two months. I probably gained weight with no exercise like I did." Light pointed out.
"Trust me, you do not gain weight on the diet I gave you." Ryuuzaki assured Light.
"I dunno, sometimes people's metabolisms change. Maybe I'm just filling out a little."
"I am not sure. Light, you should see a doctor soon."
"And tell him what? If I tell the family doctor half of what's going on with the case he'd lock me in the loony bin."
"My family doctor would not." Ryuuzaki said with a small smile.
"What aren't you telling me?" Light asked with a raised eyebrow.
Ryuuzaki maneuvered Light into a sitting position and started massaging his shoulders and back. Misa supposed they did this often, after all, you really can't have sex every night. That would be boring.
"I had a medical doctor on standby, the one who takes care of my own health. I kept her updated on the case in case there was a medical emergency and she needed details." Ryuuzaki explained. "I can ask Dr. Naomi to come in and give the rest of the team a checkup, we can fit you in then and it won't look particularly suspicious."
"Sure, that sounds like a good idea. Thank you for thinking of that." Light relaxed into the massage. Misa blushed as she watched the affectionate exchange, wishing she had someone who could do that to her. "I really don't know what's wrong with me these days, maybe the case is just more stressful than I thought."
"Good, she'll come by in a couple of weeks to make sure that she's alright."
And then this…… Rem saying that Light was Kira. Ryuuzaki had been right, about Light and about her. And the heavy weight that hit Misa's heart when she realized that if Light became Kira again, he would kill the only person he truly loved. There was no way around it!
If Kira resurfaced (Light), then suspicion would automatically refocus upon her and Light. Light would then have no choice but to kill Ryuuzaki to avoid that suspicion. After all, if he acted any different towards Ryuuzaki as Kira, if Light continued to outmaneuver him on the defensive, very soon Ryuuzaki would realize that Light was Kira, and was avoiding confrontation with him because he and Light were sleeping with each other. If Light became Kira again he would /have/ to kill Ryuuzaki.
/If/ Light became Kira.
I think of you
and that alone is enough
to make the tears start to flow now
I always, always wish
that these fleeting thoughts
would reach you...
Misa all but tackled Rem. "Rem, you have to help me. I need to know everything."
"About what?" The doleful female shinigami asked, both surprised and amused.
"About a shinigami's abilities, and I need your help."
"I will assist you in any fashion that I can."
"We need to keep Light from becoming Kira again." Misa said, with a steel in her voice that surprised the shinigami. "And we need to find a way to absolve myself and Light from any guilt. Please can you help me Rem? I need to know everything that Light did after I went into confinement!"
Rem paused. "Light hid a slip of my deathnote inside his watch with a needle, so that if he had to he could write names in his own blood."
Misa shuddered. "But how do I get to it?"
"You don't. You were many things Misa, but you were not a pickpocket." Rem eyed Misa, watching her pace flusteredly back and forth across the bathroom floor.
"Then I have to trick him into throwing it away. Then I can take the piece and burn it!" Misa said with a steely determination Rem had never seen in her before. "Light /can't/ kill Ryuuzaki! He loves him!"
Quietly awakening...
I always, always wish
that these fleeting thoughts
would reach you...
Unable to move forward across "just a little more" distance
The way I see before me is always blocked
Every time the days I want to see you but can't pile up,
My strong heartbeat turns into heartbreak.
Misa stopped for a moment. "Rem, if we set it up so that Light and I were being controlled by Kira, rather than we were Kira, then I can convince Light to take off the watch! He'll have it as proof that Kira tried to control him, rather than the other way around. Without the watch he won't be able to kill L!" Misa eyed Rem. "Can you fix it that way?"
Rem paused, then repeated for Misa what she would have to stay to make that scheme plausible. She gave Misa the slip of her deathnote needed to see her. Misa quickly made the slip into a crane, to make it impossible to write upon. It took all of another five minutes for Misa to get a 'statement' from Rem using her camera phone.
Her heart was pounding as she finished the interview. But she had a goal! It was kind of funny, L would not be the one to stop Kira.
She would be, without either Light or L knowing it.
"Unless Light comes into contact with the original deathnote, he will not remember being Kira. By the time Higuchi is captured, you need to put regaining permanent ownership of the note completely and utterly out of his reach. It will be difficult because he is far more intelligent than you are, and Ryuuzaki may guess that something is amiss if you try too hard." Was Rem's parting warning. "Good luck Misa."
If there is such a thing as "eternity,"
I want to believe, even if I have to take the long way.
Although I know that I've been hurt before because I'm clumsy
I won't stop; I won't give in to anyone.
Misa whined her usual "Are we there yet?" half the way home. Then as soon as she was past security sprinted down the hall. "RYUUZAKI KUN!" Misa bellowed. "I found something while I was there! I got it on camera phone!"
Misa shoved the crane into his hand. "Pass this around the team. They won't be able to hear or see it without it!"
"What is it?" Ryuuzaki's gaze was as sharp as a hawk, and Misa felt very much like a piece of meat being eyed by a tiger.
Misa's grin was pure excitement and mischief. "I FOUND a shinigami!" She declared smugly.
"WHAAATTTT??" The entire team swiveled around to look at her.
"rrrr, if you don't believe me! The crane comes from a piece of the artifact that gives her power. I folded it into an object that couldn't be easily written on!"
Light's face was pure shock, "mmm….. Misa you actually, you idiot! Making contact with a shinigami, he could kill you!"
"SHE!" Misa insisted. "And boy did /she/ have a tale to tell! I got it on the recording feature! It proves that what happened wasn't my and Light's fault!" She shoved her phone into Ryuuzaki's hand. "I got nervous during the interview so I took a bathroom break to calm down. Next thing I know I have a shinigami's hands covering my mouth and telling me not to scream."
She waited impatiently while Ryuuzaki activated the recording. "This is Misa Amane, I've found an actual shinigami who calls herself Rem. She claims that she knows the identity of the Yotsuba Kira, but also that her own rules dictate she cannot give away his identity directly. She has, however, given me a way to tell. And she has a long story to tell me. Since this is important, I've asked her to set it up so that the other members of the task force can hear her as well.
By then the crane had been quickly passed from hand to hand, and the group crowded in. Ryuuzaki had already uncovered a picture of Rem that Misa had taken. As well as a picture of hers and Misa's reflection in the mirror so that a comparison for size and form could be made.
I think of you
and that alone is enough
to make the tears start to flow now
I always, always wish
that these fleeting thoughts
would reach you...
A quiet, dolefull female voice began to speak in Misa's place. "A shinigami's abilities come from an artifact known as a deathnote. Over time, through trickery and deceit, several came into the possetion of the human you know as Kira. Unfortunately, a shinigami is forbidden to reveal any identities that they have discovered to a human. By my own rules I am forbidden to give more details other than that he exists and his activities up until now.
"By writing a person's name in their deathnote, Kira can kill any person he chooses within 40 seconds. If he can come up with a cause of death, as well as a time, then he can arrange that as well. We shinigami need our deathnotes, we exist to balance the living and the dead. If we kill a human, then that human's years are added on to our own lifespan. A human has no need of such an artifact, and aside from power and the deluded ideal he craves, Kira gains no physical benefit, including extended lifespan, from his killings.
Misa was inwardly shaking, her face was pale and hands shaking. Ryuuzaki was watching her carefully, Misa never thought it was possible to be so terrified by just one glance.
"For all our power as shinigami, we do have some weaknesses. The depths to which I can assist you are limited, even if you were to capture the Yotsuba Kira. Likewise, a shinigami is forbidden to use their deathnote to save the life of a human. The punishment for doing so is death.
"I was on Earth far longer than the other shinigami who look to Kira. But I was the last who's deathnote came into his possetion. The energy given off by a deathnote is both toxic and intoxicating to humans. It acts as a drug far more potent than any of human creation, and this same energy can be manipulated to control a person, simply by combining it with psychological pressure.
"A deathnote for a shinigami is like the legend of the fox's jewel. (1) We cannot leave until either the human who has taken it is dead or that human gives it up. Through trickery and deceit Kira managed to get several of these into his possetion. And while I do not know how many he has, by the rules we shinigami abide by, there can be no more than six human owned deathnotes in the world of the living. Upon possetion of these, Kira kept one for himself, and had his shinigami find targets to pass these books to. One of these fell into the possetion of a schoolboy named Light Yagami. While he at first refused the power given him," Light began to pale in horror. "…… Light Yagami was mugged on his way home one evening, and threatened with a knife. Forced to use the notebook to protect himself, he quickly fell under Kira's control after. After that point his actions were not of his own free will. He made tactical decisions as he would were he acting on his own, but his efforts were directed against his will for Kira's benefit.
Ryuuzaki eyed Light carefully, looking from him to Misa and back. He looked ready to spring if the next parts of the message were even in the slightest bit suspicious.
"Possessing a human with a deathnote is a crapshoot, I believe the term is. It could yield a tactical genius, a ditsy airhead, a greedy thug or a maniacal fanatic. There is no telling what sort of talent Kira could have gotten by doing so. Finding Light was sheer luck.
I've known all too well about pretending to be strong.
But since then, my doubts have vanished.
"Finding Misa was, unfortunately, far luckier. My dearest and best friend Gelus used his deathnote to save Misa when it was her time to leave this earth. His remaining lifespan was given to her and she inherited his Deathnote by default. Gelus's last request before he died was that I go to Misa, protect her and guide her. I regret terribly that I have been unable to fulfill this promise. When the Kira killings began to accelerate, it became clear to her how they were being committed. When Kira killed her parent's murderer, Misa became obsessed with finding Kira. What for I do not know, to thank him? To satisfy her curiosity as to what kind of beast could be doing this? Whatever the reason there was one surefire way to tell Kira apart from a crowd.
"In an impulsive movement, Misa traded half of her lifespan for a shinigami's sense of sight. When she forfeited ownership of her deathnote later she lost this ability, as well as any memories of the note or its powers. She only knows this because I have told her. A person with a shinigami's sense of sight can instantly see the true name and lifespan of their victim. If a human did not have their lifespan beneath their name, it meant that they had possetion of a deathnote. She knew that if she could lure Kira into the area, she could identify and make contact with him. Whatever the reason for her doing so, Misa saught Kira out, using the tapes and letters as a dragnet to lure him into the open. Light was the first of Kira's controllees to respond, he was charming, intelligent, attractive, it was everything that Misa wanted in her dream life partner. So blinded, she also fell under Kira's sway by default, having been caught for him by Light. Even if she regained her memories, and that is impossible now, Misa would not remember anything useful to your investigation. Likewise, Light was contacted by the shinigami only, he has not seen Kira's face directly and his memories of the experience have been torn from his reach.
"When Ryuuzaki captured Misa, I decided to create some justice of my own. Kira offered the power to his chosen, but they chose when to give it up. I convinced Misa to forfeit ownership of her deathnote, her memories and powers were erased. She would remember meeting Light, she would still love him and adore him the way she does, but she would remember nothing about what had occured. It left Misa vulnerable, but it was the only way I could save her life. As soon as Misa's memories were gone, I bolted from the holding cell. I was going to end this, and have my own revenge. I could go two for two and deprive Kira of both Light and Misa. I threatened to kill Light if he did not find a way to save Misa. It had exactly the effect that I hoped. Light forfeited ownership of the deathnote and went into confinement. If Misa is still employed at her modeling and acting pursuits, then I can only assume that Light also is out of confinement.
There's definitely things I want to show you
And so many words I want to hear
I want to see all sides of you, when you laugh and cry
So I'll stop waiting
and seize my "chance."
"But any drug is addictive, even a psychic one. Light and Misa are both, by virtue of their own psychological weaknesses, easily controlled in this fashion, Misa by her blind faith and sheer impulsiveness, Light by his pride and self assured arrogance. Light sent his shinigami back to Kira, and ordered me to find someone easily controlled by Kira who would also be easily captured. He set it up then so that he could regain possetion of the note.
"I am told that when handling cases such as this, there is often a holdback. Human police look for one detail that only the parties involved in the case would know of. Here is my holdback detail. Check Light's watch, that is my gift of information to you. Like any addict, Light found easy ways to hide his treasured deathnote, mainly false bottoms and hideaways rigged in various ways to destroy it if ever discovered. Using these as practice, Light created a hidden slot in his watch, hiding a slip of his deathnote and a needle inside, when the time came, he would write the Yotsuba Kira's name, and that of the detective named L, in his own blood.
"By now, Kira has found new owners for Light and Misa's deathnotes. For repeated record, what they did under its sway was not their fault. They were under control of a power that they could not fight against, one as ancient as time itself, the intoxicating energy of death and destruction."
"Please defeat the Yotsuba Kira and take possetion of his notebook. By doing so I will be freed from Kira's control, and able to take it and leave for home if I wish. Though my home dimension is so bleak, I would much rather stay with Misa than return home. If the Yotsuba Kira is defeated, then while I will be forbidden from revealing the whole story, I can provide for you the rules of how the Deathnote works. And I can be your eyes into the world of the supernatural. All I ask is that you spare Light and Misa. They will have been tortured enough by what I have just told you.
I think of you,
and I feel like that alone is enough
to make my heart grow stronger.
I always, always wish
that these fleeting thoughts
would reach you...
"If you have need of contacting me again, have Misa wear a red ribbon or hairpiece to one of her Yotsuba related shoots. I will be looking for it. I have also provided a lead for her, and for whichever one of your men who can enter Yotsuba does. By touching the slip of the deathnote that I have provided Misa, you have enabled yourselves to see and hear me if I am in the area. While I am not entirely confined to the Yotsuba Kira's company, I will need to stay in close proximity to him. I will be standing near, or flying behind, him when Misa returns to her interview. Unfortunately you will have to make a positive ID for yourself, without shinigami eyes or direct aid."
There was complete and utter silence. Misa glared defiantly at L. "THAT means that it wasn't out fault! Apologize to me and Light or else!" If anything she resembled a mother swallow, fluffed up at intruders to her nest. "If you don't apologize and set us free right now I won't help you contact Rem EVER! And I believe if anything you OWE me a huge THANK YOU for finding a shinigami for you!!" Misa's glare was so intense, that even Soichiro grimaced. And everyone else in the room but Light, Ryuuzaki and Watari cringed.
Misa should have been paying more attention to Light, and she should have worried that with his erratic behavior, this admission might not go as she had planned.
The shriek of utter horror and terror, the pallor on Light's face, and Light tore off his watch, chucking it across the room where it splintered and shattered.
Success! Light's watch was exposed and broken. He would not be able to regain possetion of the deathnote.
He would not be able to kill Higuchi. He would not be able to Kill L.
Misa had won! Light Yagami would no longer be Kira. That had been put firmly out of his reach the instant Misa had revealed her recording.
But Light was going hysterical, trembling he attempted to run, forgetting that the chain tied him to Ryuuzaki. Light wailed yanking on it to try and get free. "Its not true, its not true! I could never do something like that! NEVER NEVER NEVER!!" Sobbing. "I'm no one's puppet! I'm no one's pawn! DAMNIT DAMNIT DAMNIT!! That's not me! That can't be me!!"
Misa recoiled at Light's reaction. She hadn't counted on Light's major psychological flaw.
His stubborn pride.
I've known all too well about pretending to be strong.
But since then, my doubts have vanished.
I should have stopped him.
What occurred next was not Misa's fault.
It was my fault, and I will always blame myself for what happened next.
They say that the road to hell is paved with the best intended actions.
I wish I had stopped him. He may not love me, not in that fashion. But love means that you protect the people you care about. ALWAYS! No matter what they've done or said to you.
Misa's ability to love those around her is both her greatest strength, and her Achilles heal. Standing up to Ryuuzaki the way she did, proved to him that she was not as useless or helpless as she appeared. And by becoming his lifeline to information, by begging Ryuuzaki to come get me, capture Higuchi and offering my assistance if he spared Light and Misa from any blame, I had ensured the survival of all three humans.
I was completely powerless, "She doesn't think." Will always be true. I failed! I failed! I failed and now Light is hurt because of it!
Light fell, flat on his face he collapsed. He was silent for a long moment. Misa gasped, she could tell that look, that tone. It was the horrible broken feeling someone gets, when their pain is so intense that they no longer want to live, but don't want to die. That horrible enervated feeling when all you wanted to do was exist, sleep, eat, go the bathroom. Just live, with no purpose, no feeling, no joy.
It was the same feeling Misa had had before Rem came into her life. And seeing that look on Light's face broke her heart in two.
Misa started to cry, tears rolling down her cheeks. "I just wanted to help……" Misa said quietly. "I wanted to end this……"
"Let me go……" Light growled, pulling himself into a sitting position.
"I cannot do that." Ryuuzaki and Light locked eyes. Ryuuzaki's expression was pitying, Light's was desperate.
"Let. Me. Go." Light hissed. "I need to get some air, I need to think."
"I cannot let you go out." Ryuuzaki insisted. His gaze was firm, every bit the overprotective seme. He was more worried about what would happen to Light in the state he was in.
Too bad Light didn't see it that way. "I'll wear a tracker, a wire, a cellphone, ANYTHING you want me to. But I need to get some air. Before I completely collapse and break." Light begged pathetically.
There's definitely things I want to show you
And so many words I want to hear
I want to see all sides of you, when you laugh and cry
So I'll stop waiting
and seize my "chance."
Watari placed a calm hand on Ryuuzaki's shoulder. "Give him audio monitoring and gps. Some things Ryuuzaki, a person just needs to make sense of on their own."
Ryuuzaki reached into a drawer, handing Light a GPS tracker and a bug. "Here, don't lose them."
"I won't……" The look on Light's face was so sad, it sent a stab of pain to Misa's heart.
Then he turned and ran out, Ryuuzaki calling up a map of the local area.
Misa fell into a chair, resting her head on the keyboard of one of the control panels. When she raised it again. "Uuuhh…… Ryuuzaki, do you have an extra piece of cake. I think I could use the sugar." Misa wiped her tears on her sleeve.
I think of you,
and I feel like that alone is enough
to make my heart grow stronger.
I always, always wish
that these fleeting thoughts
would reach you...
"Sure." Ryuuzaki said quietly, handing Misa a piece of cake. "I am…… not good at apologies. I'm sorry Misa, and thank you for bringing that bit of information to me."
"No problem. I just feel so useless. At least Matsuda discovered the Yotsuba Eight. I don't really have /anything/ that I can be proud of here. I can't claim anything useful, I'm no detective, I have no sense of subtlety the way you and Light do. I'm not even good at sneaking like Wedy, and Aibur's acting is better than mine and I act for a living! I'm not smart like you, or Light. I'm not patient like Watari. I have nothing going for me. None. I'm just deadweight." Misa sobbed.
"And…. When Rem said what she did, I wanted so badly to clear me and Light. I thought, 'I found an actual shinigami, and how Kira kills his victims. If I bring it to Ryuuzaki, it will clear me and Light and help you catch Kira.' Rem…. She said that there are a lot of rules shinigami have to follow when dealing with humans. So she couldn't tell me everything. She just wanted to warn me. The Yotsuba Kira is Higuchi. Rem said that he had designs on me, not good ones, because I was suspected of being the second Kira. She was trying to protect me from him. She said that she could not directly give away the Yotsuba Kira's identity, but that she would be standing behind him in the interview room when I returned." Misa said quietly.
"I didn't think that Light would go berserk like he did. I'm so sorry." Misa had tears flowing down her cheeks as she accepted the offered piece of cake.
"I will find you a red hairpiece Misa." Watari promised. "But you should learn to think before you act. However, I believe that your actions saved our lives today."
Misa blushed, and simply ate the cake offered her. It just…… soured in her mouth, and Misa didn't enjoy it very much. But when she finished she felt a little better.
She looked up at the map tracking Light's headlong plunge through the streets outside of HQ.
I think of you
and that alone is enough
to make the tears start to flow now
My distant voice can't reach you now, but so that someday
it definitely will...
Even then I had a bad feeling. Something was going to happen. Something had already gone wrong with my plan that evening. Light was already hurting, and letting him out put him in harms way.
I will never forget what happened next.
If I had paid better attention to Higuchi's actions that evening, then I would have known what was coming. I could have warned Light in time.
It was a Friday. The day that Yotsuba decided and then began their killings.
But I was looking for someone, a fellow shinigami better versed than I in the ways of the Living.
She is Mirai, Ryuk's adopted imooto. His little sister. Despite being ditsy and klutzy, she was brilliant. I preferred her company to Ryuk's /any/ day.
anata no koto wo omou
sore dake de kokoro ga
tsuyoku nareru ki ga suru yo
hakanai omoi zutto
donna toki demo negau yo
anata ni todoku you ni to...
It took a couple of hours for me to realize the flaw in Misa's plan. Misa's intentions are always meant to be pure. But she fails to see beyond the immediate solution she seeks.
With the story I had given her, if another Kira didn't resurface after Higuchi was captured, I had no doubt that Ryuuzaki would be suspicious. Unlike Light, I was not good at choosing pawns.
And this was not work for a single shinigami. For what I had in mind I needed assistance. Ryuk would find it 'interesting' and want to play along. But I had no idea where he was at the moment. Mirai, his adopted younger sister, always knew where Ryuk was, she adored him.
For good measure, I needed at least three other shinigami besides Ryuk. I needed Mirai. I needed Hisui, a shinigami that was half dinosaur, half tiger in appearance. She was every bit as fearsome as one would expect a shingiami to be. Zelogi was bored enough with life in the shinigami realm, that I felt he could be persuaded to appear and help things along. Besides, participating in the plan I had would allow all of them ample chance to kill humans to expand their lifespan, as long as they took down targets of their respective 'Kira's' choosing.
And so it was to the Shinjuku district where Mirai spent most of her time that I headed, the woman is as much a magpie as Ryuk is a crow. And electronic bits and pieces of junk were her human world fetish of choice. She had strings of broken computer chips forming a curtain over her nest for crying out loud.
Rem backwinged in for a landing near the dumpster behind one particular radio shack in Shinjuku.
"Its here…… somewhere….." A voice muttered from a nearby alley.
The shinigami was bottom up leaning over a dumpster and rummaging for spare parts. "Come on, humans chuck cellphones out every day right? I need that sim card!" The female shinigami whined. "I need a match so I can make earrings out of it! Those will be really pretty! And I can use the screen to help retile my nest!"
"Mirai, its good to see you again."
"EEEK!" The shinigami toppled over into the dumpster. "Rem! Its you!" Her head popped out of the dumpster and looked around. "aaaw man, now I have to go all the way down to the beach and take a bath!" She whined needily.
The form that slipped out, carrying three cracked cd's and an old beaten up radio with it, was of a female shinigami who bore a strong resemblance to Ryuk. But her wings were dragonlike, and blue. Her skin had a ghastly lunar blue tint to it. She wore crescent moon jewelry, gold as opposed to Ryuk's silver. Her deathnote also had a holster, with a triple moon icon on it instead of a cross. Other than that, she was a female mirror image of her adopted older brother. That was why Ryuk decided to consider Mirai a sister.
"I need a huge, enormous sized favor. Please, there are some shinigami I need you to find."
"Niichan too?"
"yes." Rem told her. "He needs to know that there's been a change in plan."
Mirai was game, and I hadn't had contact with another shinigami in a long time. Certainly not with the females of my species. I spent the night, grateful for other feminine company, and didn't find out the disgusting plan that Higuchi came up with until it was too late the next morning.
Light ran, almost four miles, ten blocks or more, he didn't count. He was heading towards a district known for seedy activity, drunks, addicts, whore houses. Places that one shouldn't go after dark. It wasn't safe, besides the hookers and bums, it was the source of things that go bump in the night.
Light stopped, leaning against the entry to an alley, sobbing. "Stupid, stupid stupid stupid stupid!"
"What's wrong cutie?" Light whirled. The middle aged guy that was rapidly closing in on him was drunk, or high, or both. And the look in his eyes made Light uneasy. "Having a bad day at the office?"
"Go away." Light hissed defensively.
"Aw don't be like that cutie pie." The man licked his lips as he closed in on Light.
Oh god no. Light turned to run, but then suddenly he was tackled, shoved up against the wall.
Light smelled beer, and something that he suspected was cocaine. "you look like you could use some good lovin tonight eh?"
"NO. Go away." Light hissed, starting to panic.
"Awww, baby we're just getting started." The man dragged Light deeper into the alley.
Oh god no. "HELP! Someone! Please! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go!" Light struggled to get away.
The deathnote, oh god, if he hadn't chucked that watch across the room, he'd be able to defend himself.
That was the first thing that went through his mind as the man all but tore at his clothing. Light struggled, screaming for help. Then Light saw Ryuuzaki in his mind, he remembered everything they did together.
Ryuuzaki, please…… He begged pathetically in his mind. Please help me…… He doubted Ryuuzaki would come help him. After all, Misa had just proved that he had had a hand in the Kira killings. He hadn't been behind them, but he'd been controlled, forced into doing things that made him feel sick.
The loss of control was terrifying. Ryuuzaki wasn't going to come help him. He wasn't the Kira, but he was a Kira.
Ryuuzaki hated Kira. Ergo he would hate Light.
Light was alone.
Light Yagami the boy screamed, whimpering for Ryuuzaki to save him. The screams matched Light's cries for help in his conscious mind.
I started yelling the instant I heard the words 'Cutie pie.' Oh god, my heart nearly tore in two. Guilt, that was all that went through my mind. I burst into tears.
"Ryuuzaki! Save Light, please! Save him." I shivered in terror, paling. I thought I was going to just expire on the spot.
Ryuuzaki's eyes turned huge when he heard what was coming in over the bug. Then he started yelling. "Wedy, attach the side car to your motorcycle. Matsuda, Soichiro, take the tracker and go after him! Hitch a ride with Wedy and follow her instructions exactly. Watari, Naomi should be almost here by now! Tell her to RUSH!"
He turned to Watari, eyes looking more skeletal than panda like right then. "I hate to christen our infirmary this way, but is everything the way I asked?"
"Yes it is."
"Take Misa and prepare the infirmary. Misa, go with Watari and follow his directions. MOVE!!"
Ryuuzaki looked up at the monitor, the faintest hint of real fear in his eyes. "Hang on Light…help is on the way." Ryuuzaki felt the chill of fear for the first time in his adult life.
I turned to Ryuuzaki. "You don't think it was…… you don't think Higuchi……" Misa started to cry, to really sob.
"Don't think that hasn't crossed my mind." Ryuuzaki blanched, turning to me with the most horrible look on his face. We both dreaded what they thought was going to happen. We had no idea what had really happened, we /thought/ that Higuchi had written Light's name in the deathnote.
The reality of what he was up to was far worse. He wasn't after Light, he was testing the Deathnote to see how much collateral damage he could cause with it. Light just happened to be in the way.
When I die, and if I am reborn, it doesn't matter once or a hundred times, I will always remember that look.
Light got one last shove into the wall, rapidly falling from consciousness. If there is a god out there…… please just let me die……
Maybe if I do, I'll find Ryuuzaki again, in another life. And there will be no Kira. There will be no suspicion, no friction, no fear.
There will just be……
Love.
And everything went black.
Soichiro, Matsuda and Wedy were about fifteen minutes too late. Light's rapist had died from cocaine overdose mixed with alcohol poisoning. Light was out cold, bloody and bruised.
Broken.
"Light!" Soichiro grabbed the emergency blanket Wedy had brought with her and scooped his son up, wrapping him in it and starting to weep. "Light please, hang on."
"Chief, we have to hurry." Matsuda urged him.
"We have to wait for the police to get here." Soichiro said stubbornly.
"Ryuuzaki, what if Higuchi used the deathnote on Light's attacker, to mark Light as the first Kira? If that's even possible, it doesn't take a genius to figure out that he could be after Light!" Matsuda called over the radio.
"Soichiro Yagami, take Light back to Headquarters, NOW. There is a doctor on the way. I had her on standby for just this kind of situation. Now don't panic, hurry! Light needs you to protect him!"
"Matsuda, hang on to me on the ride home. I know you don't like my driving, but we need to move." Wedy told the younger of the two men. "Soichiro, ride with Light in the side car and hang on tight."
Everything seemed to happen in slow motion. Light was able to hear bits and snatches, but not recognizing what he heard above him. Snippets of reassurances, the feel of reassuring hands, sobbing, the echoing sounds of a hospital.
It wasn't until everything around him was still, that Light yagami slipped into a deep, weakened sleep.
Outside in the hallway, a dark haired, tan skinned woman wearing a doctor's labcoat stepped out of the room where she'd been going over scans of Light's injuries. "He's safe, but there are some concerns about his health. We need to speak, and I need to know everything."
1. Stories about the fox and his gemstone, pearl, ball, whathave you, are simple. A human finds the ball of a fox. The fox begs for it back. Just like the leprochans of Ireland, the fox attempts to trick the human into giving it back. When this does not work, the fox must do the bidding of the human who stole his beloved treasure.
