Author's Note: Thank you so much to those who favorited, followed, and reviewed! You guys are amazing!
This chapter is kinda slow, but I wanted to introduce Cassie and Tori to the group as well as give them a little background. Next chapter will be the dry run, so please just bear through this chapter. I promise the story will get much better once we introduce Negan.
Now, onto reviews!
OBSERVER01 nli: Thank you so much for reviewing! I'm glad you are enjoying it. Hope you enjoy this chapter!
Chapter Two: Welcome Home pt. 2
"Isn't it lovely? All alone. My heart made of glass, my mind of stone. Tear me to pieces, skin and bone. Hello, welcome home."
Lovely by Billie Eilish
Cassie's POV
I hardly recognized myself as I looked at my reflection in the mirror. My dark brown hair was greasy and matted to my skin. I was covered in a layer of grime, dirt, and blood. My cheeks were hollow and my lips were cracked. When I took off my dirty clothes, I could easily count my ribs. I remember before the apocalypse, wishing that I could lose weight. I'd give anything to be that weight again.
After I strip off my dirty clothes, I hop into the warm shower. I rinse off more times than I can count. I can hardly stop rubbing the soap onto my skin. It takes at least thirty minutes for me to effectively get through all the tangles and snarls in my hair.
Even after what feels like hours of scrubbing, I still feel grimy. But I decide that this is enough for one day, and I turn off the shower. I dry myself off with a towel. For a moment, I stare at my naked body in the mirror. After getting rid of all the grease and grime, my ribs seem even more prominent. I touch my cheeks gently and feel the sharpness of my cheekbones. I touch my arms and feel no fat or flab, but muscle instead. The dramatic change in my body is somewhat scary, so I turn away from the mirror and pull on the clean clothes Maggie provided me. A pair of black jeans, a black undershirt, and a plaid button up shirt, complete with a pair of boots.
After I asked Glenn if I could help, he went and talked to Rick. Rick wasn't fond of the idea of me helping. So, I've been confined to the inside of the community, to help inside the infirmary until they find a job I'm better suited to.
Today, however, Maggie wants me to meet Deanna. Apparently the ex-leader of the community used to interview everyone who came in here. Maggie wants to help her know she still has an important role in community life, so I have to be interviewed by her.
I still have time before I go. I stare at my reflection for a bit longer, and pick up the scissors. I brush out my hair carefully. I part it down the middle and brush each half to one side of my head. I put the separate parts into loose ponytails, putting the band right where I want it. Then I pick up the scissors and cut off my hair beneath the bands, leaving it at shoulder length. Then I pull out a hair dryer and dry my hair. I run a hand through it, enjoying how clean it is and how short it is, and then take off for Deanna's house.
Maggie is waiting for me on the porch. She smiles when she sees me and stands up. "You cut your hair," she mentions, pointing at it. "Looks nice."
"Thanks," I say. "So this interview, do I need to be worried or anything?"
Maggie quickly shakes her head. "No. She just asks a few questions about what you've done and where you were before you came here." Maggie sees the way I stiffen. "But it's not like she's going to kick you out. We just want to know about you." I nod, though I'm still not fond of revealing everything I've done. Though I'm not sure what else I expected to happen.
I follow Maggie into the house, where we are met by Deanna. She's an older lady, with red hair, and a short, slender figure. She wears a tight lipped smile, though I can tell that her smile is forced. "Hi. I'm Deanna. You must be Cassie." She holds out a hand to me.
"That's me," I respond, taking her hand and shaking it. She gestures to the chair across from the couch, and I take it.
"Do you mind if I record this?" she asks, pointing to the camera beside her. "For posterity."
"I guess," I say with a shrug. I don't really see the point of recording this, but if she wants to do that, then I suppose I could care less.
"I was a congresswoman, in Ohio," she tells me. "What about you?"
"Before the world ended, I was a music teacher in a middle school," I tell her.
"What made you want to choose that?" Deanna asks me curiously.
I shrug. "I like kids. They know more than adults give them credit for. But they need help finding their way in the world." I smile at the thought of my students. "Middle school is one of the toughest times for a kid. They need someone to look up to. Someone to show them the way."
Deanna nods pleasantly. "That's good. I don't know many people who could deal with middle school boys." I give a half smile at that. Lots of my students could be annoying at times, but they weren't all bad. I even enjoyed a few of them. "How long have you been out there?"
"Since the beginning," I say. "We were with two groups but…" I trail off, thinking of Terminus with horror. "But they didn't work out," I finish.
"What happened to them?"
"The first one got overrun by walkers." I've taken to calling them walkers now, ever since I heard Glenn and the others call them that. "My sister and I barely made it out. The second was full of crazy people. Disturbed people. The things they did to survive… they weren't good people."
"Tell me about your sister," Deanna asks me.
"Tori, her full name is Victoria, actually. She's not my full sister. She's my half sister. We have different mother's. Tori is about three years younger than me. She's a nurse, or she was a nurse. She's a lot smarter than me, and a much better person." I swallow hard, but I'm determined to tell Deanna about who I really am. It may as well come out. "She's never killed a person. She only ever wanted to save people. To trust people. I never did. After the disease broke out, it was like I changed. I've only physically killed two people. But I as good as killed ten or more by refusing to save their lives. It was after our first camp was over run. I was pulling Tori along with me. We were flying under the radar of the walkers. Others saw us. They were my friends. They were people who took us in. They were being ripped apart by the dead. They were surrounded by the dead. They called out to us, crying for help. Tori wanted to help them. But I wouldn't let her. It would only result in us getting killed too. And I wasn't ready to die."
I lean forward now, looking Deanna directly in the eyes. "That's who I am," I say. "I'm a killer. I'm selfish. I'll save myself and my sister before I save anyone else." I sigh and lean back again. "I used to be a sweet, young middle school music teacher. That's not me anymore. I haven't been that woman since the disease wiped out most of my family."
Deanna is silent for a moment as she contemplates my words. "And you wanna know the worst part?" I continue in a soft voice. "I don't wanna go back to being that woman. That Cassie was weak. Scared. Vulnerable. That's not me anymore. I can't go back to being her. And I don't wanna go back."
There's a long period of silence after my rant. Then, Deanna speaks up. "I know how you feel," she says after a bit.
I scoff. "No, you don't. You've never been outside your walls. You've been sitting in here, like a queen in a castle, while I've been out there, fighting for my life, and for my sister's life."
Deanna looks somewhat offended by my words, but I don't care. She needs to know what it's like out there. "What I meant was, I know how it feels to think you're selfish. To want to put your family in front of others. To have killed people, even if you didn't deliver the death blow." I doubt this, but I let her explain what she means. "I've exiled people from our community. People who didn't work out. I as good as killed those men." I feel like it's hardly the same thing as pulling the trigger, or ignoring someone who was about to get ripped to pieces by flesh eating monsters, but I suppose she's right. In some ways, she does know how I feel. "I recently just lost my husband and my son. I know how it feels to lose most of your family." I feel a little bit of shame burn in me. I didn't know that. If I had, I wouldn't have said those things about her, even if they are true. "Maybe we aren't as different as you think," she finishes, just a little bit of bitterness in her tone.
"I'm sorry," I apologize softly.
Deanna shrugs it off. "Why do you want to be here?" she asks me next.
"Being out there," I begin hesitantly, "it does things to you. It's fine things to me. It's turned me into who I am. But Tori… she's still a good person. She's still got a fighting chance to not be a monster. To be someone better." I inhale deeply. "She deserves this life. A life of safety. That's why I'm here. I want her safe. I want her sheltered. And I don't want to leave her or lose her."
Deanna smiles a little at that. "Tori is lucky to have a sister who cares so much about her," she tells me.
I shake my head right away. "No. I'm the one who's lucky. I got an angel to be my companion."
After my meeting with Deanna, I find myself walking down the streets, heading towards the infirmary. A few people pass me on the way. Some of them stare, others wave, but most just ignore me. I only recognize one.
"Where you headed?" It's Rick. He still looks at me with suspicion in his eyes.
"The infirmary," I answer. Rick doesn't reply to that. He merely gives a satisfied nod, glad that I'm heading where I need to be, and starts walking on. But I'm not having that. "Rick!" I call out. He turns back to look at me, his eyes mixed with confusion, annoyance, and distrust. "I know you don't trust me. I get it. But you have no reason to not trust me anymore. You saved my sister. After that, I would never hurt anyone in your group." Rick's eyes soften somewhat at that, and I hurry on. "Glenn said you want me here when you put your plan into action. That's understandable. But say something goes wrong out there. Someone gets stuck and you can't get to them. You need someone in here who knows what's happening out there, just in case. Someone who knows how to handle themselves out there." Rick doesn't interrupt. He watches me with some curiosity in his eyes. "Let me go on the dry run with you. That way I can help you if you need it."
His blue eyes stare right into my hazel ones. "Why?" he asks me. "Why would you risk your life out there?"
"I told you," I say softly. "You saved my sister. That's a debt I can never repay. But I don't like owing people. And I want to pay you back, even if it's only in some small way."
He stares at me with suspicion for a bit before finally nodding. "Ok," he concedes. "You can come on the dry run with us. But you're sticking with me. You do not leave my sight. Does that work for you?"
I nod right away, smiling a little. "That's just fine by me."
Tori's POV
I turn the page of the book eagerly, both eager and horrified to find out what happens next. Once I woke up and stayed awake for more than a few minutes, Denise loaned me a book to read, to keep my mind occupied. The book she gave me is called Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. It's about a man who survived Auschwitz in WWII, and his search for the meaning of life.
In some ways, I relate to him. I don't think my situation can compare to a Nazi concentration camp, but it hasn't exactly been easy, living in the apocalypse. After I lost my parents and my little brother, I struggled to find the will to live. Cassie was really what kept me going through it all, because she refused to give up on me. There were plenty of times where our lives were at risk and she could've saved herself. She never left me behind, even when I told her too.
It is then that Cassie walks into the infirmary. My eyes widen at how different she looks. She's showered and changed out of her dirty outfit, which has given her a healthy glow. The dark circles under her eyes have practically disappeared and she actually has a small smile on her face. I haven't seen her smile since before Terminus. Not a real smile, anyway. She's also cut her hair, so that it just barely reaches her shoulders. She looks like our father. They have the same dark hair and hazel eyes. The same slightly upturned nose that is covered in a small splash of freckles. I've always wished that I was as pretty as my sister, though she assures me that I am just as pretty, even though our appearances are nearly opposite.
I look more like my mother. I have her light blonde hair and dark blue eyes. I'm taller, too, and my face and nose are long and thin. We do, however, share the same nose, as my mother was fond of pointing out. After Cassie's mother and our father divorced, mom really wanted Cassie to like her half siblings (Carter and I). She would often point out the similarities between us. She didn't need to. Cassie and I, despite being three years apart, have always been close friends.
"You cut your hair," I point out with a smile, putting my book down. "It looks nice."
Cassie only shrugs, as if she doesn't believe that. "How are you feeling?" she asks me softly, sitting in the stool by my bedside.
I nod quickly. "Much better. I took a shower today, without help." I touch my hair, which feels silky smooth after months of grease buildup. "I hardly recognized myself."
Cassie nods at that. "You look much better," she says, teasing me a little. I grin a little and smack her arm with my book.
"Denise says I can get out of bed for a couple hours at a time, now, and I agree, as long as I get back in bed after two or three hours," I tell her, somewhat hopeful. "Maybe you can show me around the community? I want to see if it's as cool as you say."
Cassie looks hesitant. "You sure you're up for that?" she asks me.
I nod emphatically. "Yes. I need to get out of this bed. Been stuck in here for three days, and I'm ready to breathe some fresh air." I throw the blanket off of me and swing my legs down on the floor. The cold floor makes me shiver a little, but it feels good, given how hot the bed was. Cassie holds out a hand, in case I need to steady myself, but I feel much stronger. I'm able to walk by myself as long as I take small, measures steps. Cassie does have to help me down the stairs, but once we're out in the street, I feel better than I have in days.
I bask in the sunlight with a grin on my face. "I never thought I would miss the sun," I say with a laugh. "Before we got taken in, I hated the sun."
Cassie smiles a little. "It does feel good when you're not being chased by walkers."
"Walkers?" I echo in confusion, titling my head to the side slightly.
"It's what the people here call the biters," she explains to me. "I kinda just started calling them that."
As we walk down the street, an older woman wearing a floral shirt and dress pants approaches us. She has curly blonde hair and makeup on her wrinkled face. She reminds me of a high school substitute teacher. "Hi," she says with a sugar sweet voice. "You must be the new folks in town. I'm Mary."
I feel Cassie tense next to me. It takes me a little while to realize why when I make the connection. The last time a sweet looking lady named Mary came up to us, it was in Terminus. Cassie was deeply shaken by Terminus, as was I, but I got sick soon after and I wasn't really thinking about them. Cassie has had months to think on what they did. I'm sure she has PTSD from that place. I take her hand and squeeze it reassuringly, to calm her.
"Nice to meet you," I say politely. "I'm Tori and this is my sister, Cassie."
Marry gives us both a nod, keeping that sickly sweet smile on her face. "Forgive me for intruding on your walk, but I couldn't help but think that you both look so familiar. I just can't put my finger on it."
I see Cassie roll her eyes out of the corner of my eye. We both should've known this was coming. It's just we thought it'd be easy to forget something like this after the end of the world. But this lady, she hasn't forgotten what she thought was important in the old world.
I look closely at her and I can tell that she already knows who we are. She's just pretending she doesn't. I don't know why. This all feels so stupid. But I tell her anyway.
"You know the singer, Joshua Draper?" I ask her, trying hard to remain polite.
Mary nods, her smile widening. "Oh, yes. I have all his albums. I was just listening to him on my stereo this morning."
"That's our father," I tell her, and both Cassie and I brace ourselves for her reaction.
Her eyes widen comically. "Are you serious?" she asks, feigning surprise.
"As the plague," Cassie says, somewhat mockingly. She hated getting confronted on the street by strangers. She hated the fame that came with having a famous country singer for a father. I hated it too, just not as much as Cassie did.
Mary claps her hands in excitement. "Oh, I just love him! He's got such a beautiful voice. I love his album, Bleedin' Love! That's why you look so familiar," she points a finger at Cassie. "You look a lot like your father. You're very lucky." She sounds a little envious. "He's such a handsome man. You inherited his good looks." She turns to me, still smiling. "You look more like his wife. I was always so jealous of her."
Mary looks like she's going to keep ranting, but Cassie is quick to cut her off. "Well, it's been great talking to you, but Tori is deathly ill and needs to get back in bed. See you around!" She quickly pulls us away before Mary can keep talking.
I laugh a little once we're out of ear shot. "Just when you think nobody cares about celebrities," I say with a shake of my head.
Cassie rolls her eyes again. "It's 'cause these people have been safe behind these walls the whole time. It's been like an f***ing party for them. They're living in fantasy land. The only ones with any sense of reality are Rick, Glenn, Daryl, Maggie, and anyone in their group. The rest of them are children."
I'm only a little shocked by her rant. I've heard her talk about how we can't go back to the old world, even if there was a cure. But she sounds very angry about this, which is what shocks me.
I reach out and touch her arm, deciding to change the subject. "Come on. I wanna meet these people you've been telling me about."
Cassie's POV
Tori starts nodding off after only an hour of being outside. She tried arguing with me, because she's stubborn, but she was too weak to argue too much. I drag her back to the hospital and lay her down to rest. She falls asleep almost immediately, clearly exhausted from our walk.
Having nowhere else to go, I sit by her sleeping form and read the book she has on her bedside table.
"Hi," a voice says behind me. I jump up immediately and start reaching for my knife before I remember that my knife was taken away. I swing around and am faced with someone I don't recognize. A man with curly brown hair, and a deep voice.
He holds up his hands in surrender. "Sorry. Didn't mean to startle you. I'm Aaron. Maggie sent me over to talk to you." I nod, indicating for him to continue. "Since there aren't enough houses for you and your sister to have your own, you'll be staying with me and my boyfriend, Eric. If that's alright with you, of course."
Slowly, my tense shoulders begin to relax. "Oh," I say. "Is Rick ok with this?"
Aaron gives an affirmative nod. "Yes. Now that you've been here a few days and nothing has happened, I think Rock is starting to trust you more. He's letting you out of jail." He gives me a tentative smile, as I he's still unsure of me. "If you come with me, I'll show you where our house is."
"Ok." I put the book down, pat Tori's hand gently, and follow Aaron out of the infirmary. The streets are still filled with people here and there. I see Mary at one point. Her eyes widen and she gives me a cheerful wave, which I ignore. When she gets a disappointed look on her face, Aaron chuckles a little.
"Mrs. Houston has been boasting all over town about you and your sister being Joshua Draper's kids," he informs me and I groan. "I think you'll have a crowd of middle aged women following you around from now on."
"I'm not sure what's worse. Middle aged women or middle school girls." Aaron laughs right out loud at that. "I swear they all have some sort of obsession with my father. It's creepy."
"If it makes you feel better, the only people who care about what Mrs. Houston is saying amounts to only five. No one else really even remembers who he is, or cares. This is us." He points to a quaint looking house with the light on inside. We walk up the steps to the porch and in the house. The inside is cute and reminds me of my aunt's house, which is a little weird, but mostly comforting. Sitting on the couch is another man, who must be Eric. His eyes light up when we walk in.
"Hey," he greets us and gives a polite wave. "You must be Cassie. Mrs. Houston won't shut up about you."
Despite my hatred for the whole situation, I laugh a little. "Don't remind me," I tell him with a comical groan.
Eric laughs as well. "Come sit down. It's not often we get guests." He pats the couch beside him and I give in. I may as well get to know my new roommates. "I'm Eric, by the way," he introduces himself.
"Nice to meet you," I say politely. I look around their living room, though my eyes are always drawn to the guitar on the wall.
"You play?" Aaron asks me from the kitchen, where he seems to be cooking dinner.
I nod, a little sheepishly. "My dad taught me," I admit. "I used to love playing duets with him."
"You can take it off the wall if you want," Aaron tells me. I shoot him a grateful smile and go take it off the wall. Then I sit back down beside Eric and start to strum one of my dad's songs.
"A musician, and a pretty one," Eric teases. I scoff at that, blowing that away. "Oh! You should play for us. You sing too, right?" I nod, a little wary of singing in front of people. "Mrs. Houston told us that on one of her albums, you're singing a daddy daughter song with your dad. I figured you sing good."
"It's been so long," I whisper softly. "I don't know if I remember how."
Eric gives me a comforting smile. "You don't have to sing if you don't want to. It was just a suggestion."
I breathe a sigh of relief and start to strum on the guitar again. I start playing one of David Bowie's songs. Other than my father, he was my favorite musician. Dad loved him. He would sing David Bowie songs to us before we went to bed, as lullabies. Eric leans back and listens to the music with his eyes closed. I play until Aaron calls us in to the kitchen for dinner.
The smell of Italian food wafts in from the kitchen. I eagerly sit down at the table, and serve myself a plate. Then I eat like there's no tomorrow. Which may or may not be true, which is why I always stuff myself whenever there's food in front of me. I want my last meal to be a good one.
As I eat, I look up to see Aaron and Eric smiling at me knowingly. "What?" I ask them, the corners of my mouth tilting upwards slightly.
"If you keep eating like this, we'll need to bring home a few truckloads of food each week," Eric teases.
"Sorry," I say, blushing a little. "It's been a long time since I had a meal like this. When we did have food out there, manners were kinda the last thing in my mind." There's a bit of awkwardness in the air for a moment. "I suppose now that I'm in a civilized society," I put on a British accent for the last two words, which makes them laugh a little, "I had better mind my manners." I wipe the spaghetti sauce off my mouth, pick up my fork, stick my pinky out, and pick up a small bite, taking time to chew it and swallow it before I grab another. My antics cause them to laugh a little.
"So, what do you think of Alexandria?" Aaron asks once we sober up.
My shoulders lift and fall. "It's different. It'll take some getting used to. But I guess anything is better than being out there."
Aaron, Eric, and I chat about other things for a bit more until we finish dinner. Then we sit around the fireplace. Aaron puts his arm around Eric and they chat quietly while I play their guitar. Eventually, without meaning to, I start to sing.
"Didn't know what time it was,
The lights were low
I leaned back on my radio
Some cat was laying down some rock and roll
Lota soul he said
Then the loud sound did seem to fade
Came back like a slow voice on a wave of faze
That weren't no DJ that was hazy cosmic jive
There's a starman waiting in the sky
He'd like to come and meet us, but he thinks he'd blow our minds
There's a starman waiting in the sky
He's told us not to blow it, 'cause he knows it's all worthwhile
He told me:
Let the children use it
Let the children lose it,
Let all the children boogie."
I forgot that I was singing out loud and around others until Eric speaks up. "That was nice," he murmurs sleepily.
Aaron pats his boyfriend's back softly. "Time for bed," he tells him. Eric stands up slowly and that's when I notice that he's injured. He seems to have twisted an ankle or something, because Aaron has to help him up. "I'll show you where your room is," he tells me.
I take off the guitar and follow the two up the stairs. Aaron puts Eric in bed first before pointing me to my room. It's not as big as my room before the apocalypse was (but that was because my dad was rich) but it's more than I've had in years. There's a bed with a white comforter and a couple pillows on it. Next to the bed is a night stand with a working clock and lamp. The closet has only one or two outfits, but that's more outfits than I've had in forever. My room has two windows that give me a view of the community. Outside, the streets are silent. No one is out walking now.
"Bathroom is just across the hall," Aaron tells me. "Eric and I are at the end of the hall. If you need anything, you can come and ask."
I nod. "Thank you."
Aaron nods back. "Goodnight, Cassie." He leaves, shuttling the door behind him.
I turn and collapse on the bed. I toss and turn, staring at st the ceiling. After an hour of this, I realize it's useless. I can't sleep in a bed. It's too soft.
I get up quickly, taking my blanket with me. I go out on the porch, jump over the rail and onto the grass. Then, I settle in on the grass, suddenly feeling very sleepy.
