A/N: OMG! I have CHAPTERS!
I am forever grateful to the first three people who reviewed!
Again, if there's any grammar mistakes, feel free to tell me, and I'll fix it. (Got "grammar" wrong last time. Life is ironic, is it not?)
I own the kitchen towel (you'll understand). And that's it.
Enjoy!
Chapter 2: Sir Cyborg and the noble language
Starfire was sitting next to Cyborg, wondering what to do to get him to wake up… he hadn't moved at all, since the fatal accident. "Oh," Starfire mumbled concerned, and poked to a machine-part.
"Friend Cyborg! It is time to do the rising and shining!"
Cyborg did not move.
"Ah…" Starfire grabbed Cyborgs enormous body and shook it back and forth, like he was a doll, and not twice as big as her. "Cyborg! Wake now, please, or I am afraid Raven will do not-pleasant things to me!"
No reaction. Starfire put the hybrid down again and turned towards Beast Boy, who had already given up on the cleaning, and was currently watching a show on TV ("Today in Animal Pals – meet Dixi the lioness and her best friend, Alf, a brave, little Chihuahua!)
"Friend, I would be much grateful for some help. Do you have any ideas as to how I should wake Cyborg?"
"Hang on a second, Star," Beast Boy sniffed, eyeing the screen with tears in his eyes. "… reporting live from the Dashwood Zoo, where the two Animal Pals like to hang out…" "Oh, look, they are the best of friends…"
"Beast Boy! Cyborg can be in severe danger!"
"Coming, coming… piece of cake anyway…" muttered Beast Boy, jumping over the damaged sofa and heading towards Starfire and Cyborg. He placed a hand under his chin and closed one eye, examining Cyborg closely; then he snapped his fingers, pointed out in the blue, and screamed at the top of his lungs, "JEEBERZ! AND ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT-MEAT BUFFAY, FOR FREE!!!"
For ten seconds, he kept his stance, pointing wildly in a random direction. Starfire stared at him. Cyborg did nothing whatsoever. On the screen behind them, Dixi was playing football with Alf.
Beast Boy's arm fell to his sides: he stared at Cyborg in utter shock. "Dude!" he whispered, deeply shaken. "This is bad!"
"So you understand now the seriousness of this incident?" asked Starfire, eyes big and hand clasped. "Oh, I fear for our fellow team-mate."
"DIXI! NO! BAD LION! PUT ALF DOWN, NOW!"
"What the…?!"
Beast Boy and Starfire both gasped. Raven had just stomped into the room, and she was looking from Cyborgs still motionless body and to the screen, where Dixi was now using Alf as the football. Her eyes began to shine black.
"Beast Boy. Are you watching TV instead of doing your part?" she hissed under her breath.
"W-well I… n-no!" Beast Boy cleared his throat and yelled, "I am helping Starfire waking up Cyborg, and it hurts my feeling that you don't believe me!"
"Would it hurt your feelings if I shoved a broom down your throat?" asked Raven politely.
"Weeell, I'd better finish cleaning up this mess!" Beast Boy grabbed the broom, which had been left on a random spot at the floor, and began wiping the floor with three times the normal speed.
"I need herbal tea," Raven growled.
This was when the next shock ensued. Because Cyborg immediately sat upright and asked, "Did my ears betray me, or did somebody say something about tea?" in the strangest, anti-Cyborg way.
"Friend! You are well, and we do not need to make burial! I am most delighted!" Starfire exclaimed and threw her arms around Cyborgs neck. The man/machine hybrid looked completely flabbergasted, and gently, but firmly removed her arms from around him.
"Dear girl, there is no need for that," he said with the strangest accent and looked at her, like she was some kind of alien. (Truth be told… you know. She was.)
"Oh." Starfire blushed and looked down. "In that case, I am sorry if I offended you."
"Oh, no need for that kind of talk. Consider it long forgiven." Cyborg smiled friendly and padded her on the head. "Well!" He clasped his hands together and shot Raven a charming smile. "I believe you wanted tea?"
Before she could answer, Beast Boy came running – once again abandoning the broom without a second thought. "Duuuude!" he yelled, "What's with the accent?!"
"I beg your pardon?" Cyborg said, frowning.
"Oh yes, now that you say so… you do, in fact, have a different way of speaking, friend Cyborg." Starfire looked suspicious, and continued: "You speak like the villain we know as Mad Mod…"
Beast Boy gasped. Sorta like a girl would do, if she had just broken a nail. "Br-British?! Cyborg, NO! Anything but that, I beg you!"
"Excuse me!" Cyborg looked deeply offended. "I can inform you, that British is a very noble language, and not to be looked down upon! And if you will excuse me, you, you… American brute, I will go and make some tea for this lovely young lady." He made a small bow in Ravens direction, and marched away with his nose pointing up. Even Raven, in her weird "obey-me-and-clean-or-die"-state understood how serious this was.
"Alright. Back to work." Or not.
"How can you even SAY such a thing?" Beast Boy seemed to be at the brink of breaking into tears. "Cyborg is GONE! And he's been replaced by some British freak who…"
"OH! I can tell you, unpleasant, green "friend", that you are not being very polite right now, and that I have just about had it with you!" The new Cyborg looked very upset, but the picture was more or less ruined by the tiny, light blue teacup, he was holding in his giant hands.
"DUDE, that's exactly what I MEAN!"
Raven rolled her eyes, while Beast Boy leaped over a cupboard and threw himself at Cyborg, screaming "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY FRIEND?!"
"Starfire, I think you should go help Robin, he's at the gym," Raven sighed. "I'll take care of this."
"Glorious!" Starfire replied and bolted out the door, while a reporter on screen mumbled something that sounded an awful lot like "accidents do happen. I'm sure Alf had a great life".
Robin eyed the exercise room with slight amazement. True, it took a great deal of concentration and strength to perform the exercises he liked to do, but he still could not quite grasp, how it could look like they had battled the Hive Five in there, and he hadn't even noticed.
One should not think that weightlifting devices designed to challenge the strength of a human/robot hybrid and an immensely strong alien girl could break apart or even be moved the slightest… but said hybrid and alien sometimes overdid it. Well, okay, they often overdid it, mainly Cyborg, always trying to prove himself, so he could bug Beast Boy with how much stronger he was. Starfire just sometimes forgot that things that to her weighed about the same as a box of matches, in real life was about as heavy as an orca whale. (But Robin wasn't jealous. Not in the least. Nuh-uh. He just found it really, really annoying that he would probably never be the guy who opened bottles of jam for her because the cap was screwed on to tightly, like any other normal boy with a need to show of.)
Robin finally entered the room, but had no idea what to do now. The place was a mess, just like the main room, and he couldn't help but wonder, why on earth none of them had noticed before, mainly him, the great crime solver, who never missed the important details. Well, he had certainly done this time. Perhaps, he thought with some regret, they could have somehow prevented Raven from going berserk, if they had just realised earlier.
"Robin?"
He turned, and felt a smile creep over his face, as Starfire entered the exercise room. She, too, smiled at him.
"I see you have not yet started the cleaning process?" she noticed, looking around.
"Er, well… no." Robin ruffled his hair to gain time. "I don't… do cleaning all that much. You know," he smiled sheepishly, "villains to fight."
"Oh." She placed the tips of her index fingers towards each other and looked a little worried, while Robin silently scolded himself for excusing his lack of cleaning-abilities. "That is perhaps not so good. I, too, do not clean often… in fact I do not recall having ever done so." She blushed. It looked adorable. "I do not know how it is done."
"Don't worry, Star." Robin smiled at her again and laid his hand reassuringly on her shoulder. "We'll figure it out. It can't be that hard." Though we'll have to live with the knowledge that Raven will probably kill us, if we do anything wrong, a gloomy voice continued in his head.
This voice, however, was abruptly shoved aside, when Starfire looked at him with her shining, emerald-green eyes and beamed.
"No, and it will most likely even be fun, when we are doing it together!" she cheered happily. A warm feeling of bliss spread throughout Robin.
"I'm sure it will," he answered, and the voice from before fought it's way back into his head, now somewhat more optimistic about the whole cleaning-up-deal; This could actually be fun…
Two floors, one hall and several rooms away, Raven was snapping all over again. Beast Boy and Cyborg – who was insisting upon being called sir Cyborg – was rolling around on the floor, random screams of "CYBORG, I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE, GET YOUR BUTT OUT HERE RIGHT NOW!" and "REMOVE YOUR FILTHY PAWS FROM MY PERSON, YOU HORRIBLE, GREEN BEAST!" echoing throughout the room. Raven was clutching her teacup so hard, it was beginning to shatter. Finally, the teacup suffered death by destructing, and Raven broke the two apart in a very brutal way, that send Beast Boy crashing into a wall, and Cyborg flip-flopping through the room, until with a mighty crash, he landed on the sofa, which finally gave up and with a heavy sigh sank to the floor where Cyborg lay. The hybrid got to his feet. He looked astonished.
"My lady!" he began sternly, making his way back towards the kitchen area, "It is very, very rude to barge in on a fist fight between a noble man and a vicious fiend…"
He was cut of short by Beast Boy, who screamed and covered his ears. "Stop!" he cried hysterically, "I can't take it anymore! Enough with the accent, you're giving me the creeps!"
Cyborg looked offended as ever, and was about to retort, when a kitchen towel flew over and wrapped itself over his mouth. His eyes widened, and he began to struggle with the cloth, which proved to be most stubborn. It did not let go.
Raven looked at Beast Boy and saw that he had already been pacified: the green changeling lay flat on the ground, sobbing something that sounded like "Saah-bworg, come bwack!"
"Okay, listen up," she said through grinded teeth. "I don't care who you are," she looked at Cyborg, "as long as you've got hands to help clean. And as for you," she turned towards Beast Boy, "I'm really getting tired of making up threats to get you to actually do something other than getting in my way."
Beast Boy, already over his "Saah-bworg"-phase, looked really annoyed. "Whatever happened to the 'eat-the-broom'-threat?" he asked sarcastically. Raven shrugged.
"Alright, I'll just stick with that."
Meanwhile, Cyborg had finally fought the kitchen towel of, and it flew back to the kitchen dejectedly. "My dear lady, I am a noble Englishman!" he objected, as if the mere thought of a broom made his blood boil. "I am not to be in contact with any filth of any sort…unless maybe the filth of a certain green boy… but I will not, and repeat NOT, be threatened into doing something like that. I have my pride!" He blew his chest up and looked mighty determined.
Raven, getting just a bit tired of his attitude, clenched her fists, and her eyes glowed black: several of the kitchen cupboards sprang open, and a handful of things, sorting from forks to pans and to cereal breakfast, came to life, and lead by the returning kitchen towel, they faced Cyborg, ready to attack.
The converted Englishman paled.
"Ahem… I guess it wouldn't hurt to lend a helping hand to those in need," he quipped.
The kitchen towel seemed somewhat disappointed.
A/N: There will be plot. Maybe.
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