The next day showed Jack at class where he was learning about chemistry. It was a lot like cooking and despite him already knowing all this it never hurt to relearn the basics. It just so happened that the Barbra Gorden also happened to be my lab partner. She was currently watching in amazement as I made the fire burner turn green and purple. Odder was that none of the fuel had dissipated yet.
"Mr Jack, I know I said for the class to make the most complicated formula they know and that I forgot to exclude you but next time please don't make Rocket flue in class." MRS Spence raised a hand to forestall a comment I was not going to make. "I know you can do all this easily but please don't make Rocket fuel in class. I won't mind the brain splatter everywhere but the Parents association would frown on it and that just makes me more paperwork." Just goes to show how ambivalent everyone in Gotham is that no one thought the teachers comment was strange.
While it was probably odd that I was prodigious in my studies, it brought attention to me. Not too much but I am noticeable. It helped that some of the species I ate had an intelligence bonus. This made studying and critical thinking so much easier. So I sailed to the top of the class. While I can make a living doing what I do it never hurt to make connections to. Thought there are some bets going around on weather I'm a secret super hero or a villain. While others may hide in this situation I do not, I just make them guess. I love confusing people, there was a particular fun time I confused a pair of drug dealers trying to hassle me by eating their bullets and guns. Apparently I got called the bullet eater.
I made my way to the mess hall when Barbra Gordan caught up to me. "Hey Jack, Great work back there. You know this city could use someone of your talents someday. I can put a good word in for my dad if you wa'na go into law informant." Barbra was curious about the new kid since he was strange and strange in her life meant either villain or hero. She just wasn't sure with he would be yet. But maybe getting him interested in helping people would work to tip the scales to hero.
"Nah I already got a nice gig going but if I ever need any help from Gotham finest I'll ask. Let's go get some grub I hear they got this odd potato like substitute in today and I wa,na see some faces turned green.
They walked over to the tables were Jack pulled out his food and began to eat, People got used to him bringing in a cooler to lunch and eating all the food in it Thought they questioned what he was eating at times. They still said that cake looked like the jokers hat.
…
"You want get started on the project then?" I asked Mandy Maxwell, We had met each other a few weeks after joining the school. She is a terrifying existence. I would rather face a horde of angry demon gods at their most powerful then piss this little lady off for even a moment. She was from a small town before she moved into Gotham. Her adventures were such that even I found then funny and at times impressive. If you have a dang Grim reaper serving you cookies and tea then you're ok in my book.
Odder that she one his services in a limbo game.
We actually discovered each other's oddness during one of my hunts. I was going after the meat fruit of a Venus Horse trap in a different dimension. It was a large carnivore's plant that could walk. It would actually run up to a horse and trap it in colorful leaves, then slowly eat it. Since it has special chemicals that induced pleasure, the horse would not even struggle. It also had three fruits that tasted a lot like meat and that was my goal that day. When I had just finished taking down one of the plants I saw in the distance, a Girl, Boy and walking skeleton running from a huge Gothmorian tail Worm. Since I recognized them as human and then some I intervened in their attack. Turns out the bag of bones was the dam Grim reaper. The two kids had managed to capture him in a deal of friendship and now they went on adventures together. Grim was a rather nice fellow and had great manners, was surprised he was Australian but whatever. He had an angular skull in a red and black background. There was also a syth with him. The girl was a little shorter then me and about my age, She had on a pink skirt/shirt, boots that while dainty at first glance had hard metal in them and a band on her head that made her hair look like a pair of daemon horns. He was also polite but see also exuded an aura of command and punishment. I think I might have just found then next runner up for the supreme overlord of hell. The last Kid was…. Dimmer then a rock. I'm not entirely convinced he was even a living being. He was like those little gremlins that I one saw on Yaswa 5. His nose was huge and his hight only slitly bigger then the girls. His eyes were vacant and looked like he was seeing everything that was not in front of him. His shirt was white and blue and his pants were once blue but with his level of intellect I was not all that interested in asking what the stains on it were.
However we soon became friends. I especially enjoyed Mandy's dark sense of hummer. We both of course recognized each other from school, so we would talk more than most. Most people became quite concerned when they spotted me, the most talented and oddest person they met, and Mandy, The cruelest, darkest and evilest person in possibly the world.
So being who we are, we devised a little project that would be a great benefit in the future. "Sure there's nothing on TV, and Grime's doing his job, for once." We were headed out to the front gate when Barbra Gordon came up next to us. "What're you guys up to?"
"Just working on a project that will strike fear into the hearts of all that even think of crossing us." Mandy affirmed. Barb looked a bit taken aback since in this city that was not always a joking threat. "With you, I only ask that it doesn't involve the city, bone or dead people" Barbra responded.
"It won't, if we do any testing it's far off and we don't want the bats attention. He can be a bit obsessive." Jack responded to her. We were leaving the school when a… Clown themed car pulled up and trapped everyone in by blocking the entrance with the car. The car was rather nice and old fashioned if you ignored the green and purple paint job. Actually to Jackes eye that was the coolest car he had ever seen, Then again he eats brains so he might not be the best at sacking what cool is.
Out of the car came out the Ridder, Joker Penguin and more than half a dozen clown based henchmen came up. The Clown and henchmen went into swift action and apprehended Barbra, Mandy and Me as well as a load of other students. While I could easily break out and I'm sure Mandy could scare the ropes off we were too amused to do anything at the moment.
"Move it yah dope" A henchmen of the Ridder was sent to secure us as the rest stared on the ransoms. They did not trust the clown's men to be stable Enoch to not kill someone and the penguins men were to professional. Jack was calm and Mandy was just a tiny bit pissed at her new shoos might be dented. Barbra was panicking inside and was trying very hard to come up with some sort of plan. "What are you all planning?"
"Well, well what do we have here? The comishes Daughter, All wrapped up like a present for us. You are going to be so much fun this week. Expose time," Out of know where the Joker pulled a projector and introduced his master plan to the students in cartoonish characters. "You see parents all over there kids and kids all love video games so were going to play a little game. Every hour on the hour when one of you aint ransomed off we send you on a nice little train ride, INTO dynamite. BOOM. Won't that be explosive? Muahhahahahah."
Hearing more than necessary Jack breaks his bindings and stands up with the rope. He hits the first goon in the head while looking bored and knocks him out. After a rain of bullets spray him and all but one thought him dead the smoke cleared to show him unharmed with a gun in hand and bullets between his teeth. The henchmen were strangely fascinated as each bullet began to descend down the boy's throat. When he put the gun to his lips and took a bite out of it everyone had a different reaction. The Joker Smiled, The Riddler looked confused the students looked a mix between awed and confused, Some of the henchmen were nervous, others that have heard of my rep out of the city were merely shiting their pants. The pointed at me, Said "Bullet biter" Then promptly turned around and stared to head out the door. "Were do you think you're going?"
"Sire riddle, I know you don't know of this dude but trust me when I say that the Bullet biter is one hombre we ai'nt messing with. We will return you money in full Good day.
"Wow even batsy doesn't make those guys give up before they shoot something. What's so special about you kid?" The joker now had a keener interest in this kid wondering if a potential new recruit was in site. The students were all eager to hear about their top student. "I know people, and scare them" He shrugged it off and just looked on stoically. He then let out a grin and untied Mandy. "You ok love? Mandy nodded and put the dust off her skirt.
"What's all the hold up, You said this would be quick and then I hear shots, I swear if your complicating thins again I will …. " The Penguin came in thought the door battered and bruised and looking distinctly like he did not want to be there. As he saw me his face turned monotone and blank his skin turned whit and he all but shut down. He was even in the middle of taking a step. He stood like that making everyone concerned thill he just got up said, "No" Horsley and then bellowed, "Yo boys, These guys and let's get back to base, Jack is here and we are not …ing with that ... Today. I am terribly sorry Jack for incontinency you on this fine day, I hope this does not bode badly for future business meetings? I was very rudely coerced into this in the first place." He pointed at his face."
"Penguin what is it you thing you are doing?" The riddler had almost had it with the strange kid.
"Sorry but the threat of this kid exceeds yours by a much larger margin than anything you two could ever do. Please excuse me and my boys as we go sir. Have a good time." With that even the students had to wonder what the f was going on. The Joker was even confused in his mad way. He walked over to the kid and punched him in the face, But broke his hand instead. "Ow ow ow. Jeaze kid what is you face made of?" He tried again with his joy buzzer but only got a small twitch. "You really picked the wrong school to mess with clown." I activated my snake eyes ability and had him paralyzed. I then took the rope and just lazily tied him up and put him in a corner. "Mandy would you like to play?" She nodded her head and I left her alone with the clown in a room. "You're just going to leave her with that maniac?" Barbra and the Riddler exclaimed then looked at each other in irritation. "Your right what was I thinking, Tying him up was overkill." As they digested this they heard a scream coming from the room. The Riddler jumped thought the door expecting to see a fountain of blood form the little girl. Instead he saw the joker on the floor, on the floor, crying, and looking sadder then anyone has ever seen him. Over him all you could see was Mandy whispering into his ear. "Make her stop, MAKE HER STOP PleaSE Ill DO anyhtTing."
"You know Riddeler you're the only one left, All the other people have run or a being hurt, I don't think it will take a genius to discover what is going to happen here. Now boo." As my face was opposite that of the students so Jack used the ability {Mince Teeth} That allowed all his teeth to look pointed. He then used {Snake Eye} and just had him this way of pissing himself. So after a second he barreled out of the room and used his escape route to doge the police that were still ways away.
I turned to the rest of the confused students and took out nice from my item box to let them out. To them of course it looked like I had it in my pocket. I slit there ropes and gathered them all up together.
"Jack are you a Hero?/Villain/Crazy." A few students had the guts to ask me after being released. All wated to know what I was. "IN order, No, No, and if you mean the second definition then yes."
"So if you not a Hero and are not a Villain then what are you?" James was always the most curious of the group.
"I am a adventurer. I travel to parts unknown battle monsters for fun or profit and have fun. Just so happenes that I am rather renouned for some of them so most people don't want to get dragged into them.
I used my command voice and said. "James, take anyone that has any wounds or scuffs and take them to the meds when they get close. Rodgers, start on a statement with Joseph about what you saw here to the police. Do make sure to mention that penguin was blackmailed and forced into this as well. Barbra you will speak with your father about this and try to smooth things over as quickly as possible. What are you all waiting for Get To IT." They all rand to do their respective jobs thought Barbra stayed behind. "What are you going to be doing." I pulled out a piece of metal that was shaped like a lollipop and put it in my mouth. "I'm gona try and keep many from being arrested for breaking a clown's mind."
In all seriousness I turned back to the door and left Barbra there with a suspicious expiration. I locked the door behind me and walked to Mandy and the crying clown. "Yo, Mandy I think you better stop before he breaks to much. I really don't want to have to deal with the paperwork that this is going to cause. Plus, he didn't do anything yet."
"ON the contrary he did do something."
"What could he have possibly done to warrant such levels of hostility from you?"
"He dented my shoes." She put up her foot a bit and I looked down to see a dent on the side.
"Yup that would do it, Yo clown, Sorry to say but even I'm not crazy enoph to stop Many when she's in a rage. But you should know she won't kill you, might break you thought."
"What makes you think I won't kill him?" Many brought her hand down on the Clowns cheek and caressed it gently, He whimpered.
"Because I can't see grim anywhere around here. So he'll only wish to be dead."
"Fair point, now leave me to my work."
"Very well, I'll just nock when I see a police man." I left them both then and nearly felt sorry for the clown if I could feel such things anymore. Most days I had to remind myself that the villains in Gotham aren't food.
I stood at the door for a few minutes, Looking back on my many triumphs and adventures. I remembered The first monster me and my master had Hunter caught and eaten. That was the day that he bestowed upon me the one gift he never gave away.
…
My master and I were trekking through the Huffle Dimension, Tracking an elusive deer. While deer is normally not considered a hard animal to hunt this one was different, it was a green color and had electricity running through its antlers. It was faster than a racing car and was so light on its feet that it would barley leave a print in freshly wet mud. My master thought me many skills in the time that he had trained me. It may have only been a few months but Master Sky Climber deemed me ready to hunt the rare Lithuania electric deer. Of the monsters I would soon hunt this one was hardly a danger but could still deliver a great deal of damage. He just followed me as I tracked the thing for three days. On the third day I had finally spotted the deer.
Most would wonder how I was able to sustain a hunt for three days. But I must remind my listeners that I have Magic. I had long ago put two small runes on the base of my thought. One was to always supply me with nutrients so that I can never die of starvation and one was to always keep my hydrated. This was a great boon that I discovered in the arctic wastelands.
The deer was just in site and I brought up my bow and readied my Mace. I fired the bow but it only grazed the deer as it dogged out of the way. It looked around franticly but then spotted me. It charged at a pace I had never seen before leaving me with only hairs width from death. After dogging the creature, I went into overdrive seeing as there was now a charged trail leading to several knocked down trees.
Grip Mace loosely, Activate acceleration and power runes. Bring mace down on deer's leg, Miss. Make dash to tree, Dodge as deer punctures tree. Hide in the flames of the tree. Bring up bow and fire second arrow. Arrow is hidden by flames. Success. Arrow pierces animals left achilleate tendon. Take out mace hit deer in same hoof. Deer goes down. Correction, deer takes bite out of arm. Do not retreat. Take mace and bring it down on deer's mouth. Teeth dislodge. Take out hand, Teeth still imbedded in forearm. Activate emergency healing spell. Take out axe and cleave into deer head. Bear through healing spell pain. Take out pistol. Bring to point blank range and goes into the deer's head.
After making sure the deer was dead me and Sky roast the beer on a spit using the herbs that we found on the hunt. It was one of the best things we ever tasted.
"Now that we have that settled, I would like to give you a gift. As one of my most gifted students you can pick a power or ability from My power scroll and I will copy that power onto you. I know it's a little cheap but you earned it by sticking through the training and then the last test." He smiled down at me and then held out a scroll. I opened it and found a rather extensive list of powers. Telekinesis, Invisibility, immortality, flight, even shooting laser beams. It was the very last power on the list that peaked my interest thought. "What is {Cooking Absorption} Mean?" "Ah with that power anything you kill cook and eat wil give you a small portion of its power based on how you cook it. Since we just cooked this WhOMo. If you get that power, you can get a bonus ability of power from it. Thought it is conditional on how you cook it."
"I'll take this power then, It sounds like me."
"I don't think anyone has ever taken that power before since it takes a good while to get the hang of." He poked at the name and a small but bright sphere began to rise onto his fingertips. Then He pushed it into me and pain coursed through my body as bad as when I was dropped from the dungeon bridge. It lasted for hours but after the sun was beginning to peak from the horizon I crawled to the deer and began to eat. With each bite I began to feel stangth pour through me.
