A/N: This will be one shots about Stef and Lena both that will focus on them primarily.
When Stef was 16:
Stef sat in her desk tapping her #2 pencil against the desk. The pencil had bite marks around the top adjacent to the racer. The tapping was drowning out the noise of her history teacher who was explaining what would be on their next history test on the industrial period.
Stef's face went flush. A wave of emotion cascaded over her face. She dropped her pencil and stood up. The teacher in the background was muffled, but Stef knew she asked where she was going. Without any hesitation Stef grabbed her things and headed out of the class room.
Not knowing where else to go Stef went into the bathroom. Locking the door to the small stall she tried to collect herself. Her eyes stung from her tears. It had been one month. They said the pain would go away. That everything would be okay. But it wasn't. It just simply wasn't okay.
All Stef could think was, "She was my best friend. She had always been my best friend."
Stef heard someone walk into the bathroom. Looking down she could see the shoes of the person standing at her door. Without even seeing the shoes Stef could smell the cologne.
"Stef come out. It's going to be okay."
"You aren't supposed to be in her Mike. Please go away. I will be fine."
Mike was Stef's boyfriend. He was the captain of the basketball team. He wore the letterman's jacket. Had the movie star smile that all the girls swooned over, all the girls but her.
Stef bit her lip and waited for him to leave. In the past they would both skip class and make out in the bathroom, but then over time stopped.
Grabbing her keys out of her backpack Stef walked out of the bathroom and out to the parking lot. Unlike most students Stef had a car, thanks to her dad.
Getting in the car she quickly zoomed off to her house. She knew her parents would be still working.
Walking into the house Stef picked up Mr. Stuffington her mother's Persian cat that she got when she was 8. Heading up the stairs Stef dropped her stuff by her bed and laid down. Stef's face was buried in the pillows. Mr. Stuffington was standing on her back purring.
Trying to collect herself, Stef stood up and walked over to her nightstand. There staring back were framed photos of her friend Tess. Some of them when they were younger on family vacations. There was one from last year's carnival too. Next of course was a framed photo of Stef and Mike. Her mother had taken the photo after Mike won state. The photo later ended up mysteriously on her dresser.
Slipping out of her school clothes, Stef threw on an old baseball tee and shorts. Staring straight ahead in her mirror she studied herself. Her eyes were swollen and her mascara stained her cheeks a little.
Stef's best friend Tess was her life. They did everything together. Last month her best friend moved. Stef's father found them on the couch Tess' head was on Stef's chest sleeping as Stef was flipping the channels on the TV. He assumed for a while that they were more than just friends, but the sight confirmed that they were more. Stef recalled that Saturday like yesterday. Her dad could not stop yelling, grabbing her off the couch, just yelling at her repeatedly, "What are you thinking Stefanie?"
He closed the door in Tess' face. Grabbed the kitchen phone and called her parents. He told them he had caught them together.
Stef had thought her dad had overreacted, but the Martin's had taken it to the next level and moved a couple towns over. Stef and Tess were no longer allowed to see one another.
The past month Stef had gone to see the church pastor. He sat there condoning her actions. Telling her the sins she caused will lead her down a path to hell. Stef's mother sent her to therapy. Her mom was more level headed than her father, which was what led to their ultimate divorce. Her mom thought therapy would help Stef resolve some open ended things in her life.
Today was her third session. Her therapist was a young woman fresh out of school named Sam. Heading out the backdoor Stef jumped in her car and headed downtown. She didn't wait long in the waiting room.
"Stef?"
Stef got up and followed Sam to the back office. It was the usual therapist set up. The couch followed by a side table stocked with tissues. Across was the large chair where Sam sat taking notes as she spoke.
"How have you been since last session?"
"Fine I guess. Just really wish time would fly by, so I can just get on with my life."
"What do you mean get on with your life?"
"Tess was my best friend. We spent all of our free time together. I can still remember the last time I saw her. Maybe she was more than just my best friend. I don't know what she was to me. She just was Tess. My Tess. My best friend. My person and now I don't have anyone. I have Mike. Mike is nice. He is normal. He is the person I am supposed to marry and have kids with. My mom and dad both love him. It's just I get this different feeling around Tess than I do with Mike. When I was with Tess I could not stop laughing or smiling. I just loved being around her. Where when I am with Mike sometimes I just wish I could go home or whatever."
"You mentioned in the first session your father caught you and Tess together? You were just on the couch right?"
"Yeah, we were just lying on the couch."
"Have you ever had feelings for Tess, for instance to kiss her?"
"We did kiss before. At first she and I kissed for practice. I just started dating Mike at the time. I was nervous. I had never kissed a boy before. I just didn't want to mess up and get mocked. So she said we could practice on each other."
"What happened?"
Stef could feel the room get increasingly hotter by the second. She knew her face was flush. Her heart was racing out of her chest and she was tapping on the chair.
"Uhm.. Well we kissed a peck at first. Then we French kissed. I liked it. I think she did too. I put my hands on her cheek and we kept kissing. It didn't feel like practicing. It just happened. I remember pulling her close to me and brushing the brown strands of hair out face took look into her eyes. Tess had these wildly beautiful forest green eyes. She kissed me back afterwards. That night she stayed with me. We held each other. I knew I would never kiss Mike like I kissed her. That was about a year before she moved. "
"How did you two act in public? Say at the movies?"
"I guess normal. We would sit next to each other. In scary movies she would cuddle into my arm and hold on to me. But I was always the tougher one of us since we were kids."
"Did you ever kiss after the "practice" for Mike?"
"Yes, we did a lot. I.. I.. I loved her."
"Did you go any further than that?
"No. "
"Stef it sounds like you are dating Mike for everyone else, but you. You don't look happy. Obviously you are coping with Tess being gone, but that wound will heal over time. Not now, but given time you will learn who you are. Honestly, you won't stop learning things about yourself. You need to focus on you right now. Try and make some new friends. Get involved more in school. I know you are a sophomore, so you have some big decisions in your future coming up. Hang in there. It will get better."
"You make it seem so simple. I'm just so lonely. No one will ever replace Tess."
"She's only a drive away. She isn't gone forever. Stef, listen shes not?"
Two years later
"What do you mean you didn't submit your applications to USC or UCLA Stefanie? You are in so much trouble young lady! Why didn't you call me?" Stef had lived with her father for her senior year when her mom moved out once the divorce was final. Being that her mom didn't live in the area she wasn't always in the loop.
"Mom it is fine. Mike and I are going to do the police academy instead together. Besides we are moving in after we graduate next week. I thought you know that. It shouldn't be a shock to you. This is what you wanted for me to end up with him!"
Stef's dad piped in "Let them do what they want. I mean frankly she's come all this way let's please not stand in the way."
Stef could not believe her father had the nerve. She looked at her mother whose eyes were sympathetic.
"Thanks dad that's no help."
Heading up to her room she picked up Mr. Stuffington and opened her door. She was packing her things for the move. She had boxes everywhere. One box she didn't label. It was more or less a mental label, "Tess." Filled in the box were gifts that were given to her, pictures, things that belonged to Tess that Stef had worshiped long after Tess had left.
Stef still wondered what happened to Tess. She never called. She never wrote. She just disappeared. Maybe she had made the whole thing up. Maybe her parents forbid her to call? Stef would had called if she had her number. Stef closed the box and called to her dad to put it in the attic will it will sit for many years.
