All We Are
By LeaBlackletter

Chapter – 1
We are searching

"One by one your defenses are burning out,
The wall that shielded you once is now crumbling down."


Disclaimer: The chapter was late 'cause I don't have a beta that could go through it, so I had to do it. I also forgot to mention that I do not own J.K. Rowling and/or Harry Potter and its characters, basically I don't own anything if it seems familiar to you. And if I did own the books there wouldn't be any deaths. NO ONE would die. No one. And sorry for the late update, school got in the way.


Description: After the incident in fifth year in which Snape meets Lupin as a werewolf, Sirius starts having dreams, dreams about The 12 Grimmauld Place; but it looks worn out, abandoned, dark. And about a place he can't escape, where he's living his worst nightmares again and again. The Marauders have broken up. Frank and Dorcas investigate the matter, and others join them.

Point of View(s): Frank Longbottom, Sirius Black, Lily Evans. (3)

Parings: Remus/Sirius (Wolfstar), Frank/Alice and James/Lily. (3)


Chapter Description: The cool dude vibe that Frank had going, is now cracking. Frank is also in disbelief to how Dorcas does the stuff she does. Also, Frank and Dorcas suck at subtlety and are probably going to fail their potions assignment. Dorcas does not care. Sirius is dangerously close to rocking an emo vibe, and apparently nightmares are not the only things bothering him. Sirius also has a 'moment' about Remus. He just doesn't get a break, does he? James is a pro at subtlety. Peter is not. Figures. Remus has a new motto. Lily has an itch. An itch about MYSTREY! Marlene is a badass friend and a life saver. And Slughorn tries so hard to remain oblivious to all this. So hard.

And it's all a little more complicated than it looks.

Last Chapter: Sirius is having weird and horrifying dreams, and apparently attention problems. Dorcas and Frank are on to him, and Frank had never sighed this much as he has in this day. Dorcas is somewhat sneaky. Lily is suspicious of the marauders and will do anything to get down at the matter of things, while being in disbelief over how she is concerned about Black. Marlene is sympathetic and does not support direct approaches. The rest of the Marauders are pretending that their third member doesn't exist, and James and Peter fail at pretending. Remus is a pro at it, but that's not necessarily a good thing. Severus is drowning in fury. And Alice sleeps.


Frank is a very easy going kind of guy; he never took anything to heart, and was mostly chill. So it was very hard for him to understand how people went on with their live while being concerned. Being concerned had open new things for Frank that he wasn't sure he liked; he now can't stay still, or concentrate, and his thoughts somehow always end up to Sirius Black; the reason for his current concerned state.

And he keeps finding himself thinking horrifying things that could happen to Sirius right now.

Most of them are ridicules theories, which he would have laughed on if there wasn't a possibility of them happening. But, look, if the ridicules notion of The Marauders breaking up can happen then so can his ridicules theories. Which is not exactly good for his state of mind.

Dorcas stomped on his foot.

"Merlin's balls." he cursed softly, wincing, and shot a glare at her. She was staring ahead, but there was an amused tilt to her mouth. "Why'd you do that?" He whispered harshly with a frown.

"Because you're acting like an idiot." Frank opened his mouth in protest, but Dorcas didn't give him a chance to speak. "Stop worrying yourself silly, he won't do anything stupid." She frowned and added with a murmur, "Probably doesn't even have the energy for it."

"Did you just say silly?" Frank asked, suddenly amused, but then his mind went in a wind-whirl about Sirius again, and he asked her, confused, "How were you so sure that he wasn't coming to the class?"

Dorcas shrugged softly. However that you shrug softly that is, and said, "He's Sirius, and to add it off, he is a Black; he wouldn't want anyone doing something to him while is venerable, I'm surprised why he even came to breakfast today."

"Probably 'cause he's a Gryffindor." Frank joked lightly. Dorcas snorted elegantly. However that you snort elegantly that is. Frank doesn't know how Dorcas does half the stuff that she does.

"Ah! The Wiggenweld Potion A wonderful choice, you two, hard, but if you're interested, you can achieve anything." Professor Slughorn suddenly exclaimed happily from behind them. Frank thought that his hear might have skipped a beat just then. Dorcas appeared unaffected. Frank huffed.

But then his bran caught up with what Slughorn said. Frank was now absolutely sure his hear just skipped a beat. He had opened up some page of his potions textbook (Dorcas hadn't even bothered) so Slughorn thought they weren't fooling around in his class (When they totally were). Frank felt like slapping himself. He opened his mouth to correct the Professor, when Slughorn started talking again,

"Mr. Longbottom and Ms. Meadowes have chosen Wiggenweld for their assignment. Oh, this is just splendid; Mr. Snape has chosen Draught of Living Death. Oh my, is a wonderful pair." Slughorn seemed abnormally happy about them choosing a few of the dangerous potions. But the damage had been done; now they had to make Wiggenweld.

Frank breathed a sigh of relief when Slughorn went over to Snape to give him some 'tips' (To tell Snape about his mother, while Snape ignored him with admirable determination, till Slughorn moved to his new victim). And then he remembered about them creating the potion.

Dorcas patted his arm, "One problem at a time, Frank." She says. "One problem at a time."

Frank thumped his head on the table.


Sirius doesn't know how much time had passed, and to be honest, he particularly didn't care.

He looked at the black lake, and sighed. He didn't even know why he woke up this morning. Except… except he kind of did, he not only had the dreams but something else as well, something he didn't know what to name. When Sirius woke up, he was going to go back to sleep; 'cause he was in no mood to face people, but- but the second he had that thought, he had a feeling, a feeling as if something was slipping past him, there was a gut feeling so strong he thought he was going to be sick. But when he decided he would face the day after all, the feeling vanished.

Sirius sighed; he didn't feel like himself these days. What the fuck was happening to him?

He walked towards the secret passage from where he came here, and wondered absentmindedly about the time.

He looked at his wrist watch, only there was no watch. Sirius suddenly felt sick to his stomach, and this time it had nothing to do with the mysterious gut feeling. He remembers now, in a fit of rage he had thrown the watch somewhere in the dorm after Remus had continued to ignore his presence. Lupin had flinched, but he hadn't even looked at Sirius. The watch was a gift from Remus himself, he had given it on Sirius's fourteenth birthday, and Sirius had treasured it. Still does. It had become a part of him, and it still is. It was like a little piece of Remus he carried with him, a piece that the werewolf had give him himself. Nomatter how weird that sounded.

Sirius laughed; a sound that sounded so broken. And then he had to swallow back the sob that was threatening to escape, but he told himself firmly; he hadn't cried till now, and he wasn't going to start now.

Blinking until his eyes weren't watery, Sirius gave a wary sigh. He still didn't know what the time was, and he had no desire to run into anyone. And for that he had to know what the time was, he though as looked at his bare wrist, ignoring the sudden hurt that spiked his heart. And then he could have slapped himself, he was a wizard dammit.

"Tempus." Sirius mumbled, suddenly exhausted with life itself, and then unexpectedly he felt as if he was on fire, he felt as if he was being turned inside out. His heart beat sped up, and Sirius looked confused at his wand that was looking as if it was creating a ball of fire. Dread piled up in his stomach, but it was too late, the magic coming from the wand exploded before he could drop it.

And then he felt magic go crazy, Sirius stumbled to the nearest wall, his hands trying to find a solid object. He felt his magic fighting against his body, trying to escape. Sirius felt dizzy. His hands were flowing with magic, as if the wand wasn't enough for it.

And then the magic left Sirius at such a fast pace that it left Sirius breathless, gasping for breath. He looked at his hands from his blurry vision, they were shaking, but not damaged. Thank Merlin.

Sirius took a trembling breath, trying to steady himself. And then he found himself to another surprise, he was surrounded by floating numbers of time, all around him. Sirius looked at bewilderment at all of them; there was the time of New York, Whales, Ireland and so many more.

Sirius searched for his wand he had dropped sometime he felt as he was dying, and stood up on shaky legs. He waved his wand to cancel the spell, but he was again surprised. Sirius absentmindedly thought he didn't like surprises anymore, while he felt as if someone was tearing his skin apart. The spell was canceled, and Sirius fell to the floor, breathing hard. The aftermath leaving him feeling oddly… raw.

Sirius scrambled back to his feet, panic bubbling in his chest. He got that feeling again, the feeling as if sand was slipping through his fingers, like something important was slipping past him. Sirius breathed heavily, his chest heaving. He felt as if he had to leave now. So he did. He ran.

Sirius ran not even looking where his feet lead him.


Lily feels wrong, like there is an itch she can't scratch. And it's getting very annoying.

It's a good thing that the class was about to be over in two minutes, or the suspense was going to kill her. Dorcas and Longbottom were looking at the door every now and then as if doing that may cause the time to go faster, James Potter was doing the same thing, but he was much more subtle. Figures. (Lily only caught him because she was looking for the signs.)

Pettigrew was glancing nervously at Potter and then even more nervously at Remus. If that was even possible. Remus was ignoring everything around him like he was marathoning; ignorance is bliss, in his mind. Maybe that's his new motto, Lily muses. And Slughorn was, as always, trying to remain oblivious to it all.

Currently he was chatting about something or the other with her, but unlike normally Lily couldn't even bother to focus on the professor. Which was a concern in itself as she hadn't even payed attention to anything this class; to busy thinking about the enigma which was Sirius Black.

It's a good thing she has Marlene as her partner, or else something would have happened to her like it did to Dorcas and Longbottom. Wiggenweld? For Havens sake, even she had trouble preparing that potion. And Longbottom who was eh if not worse than Alice at potions and that was a fete in itself. Dorcas wouldn't even bother with the potion. They were so going to fail this assignment.

And suddenly the sharp sting of the bell starts— and Dorcas and Longbottom are running out of the class as if the devil was on heir trail. Lily blinked, and only just caught Potter giving those two a weird look and the widening of his eyes — and then even Potter ran. Lily blinked again. Pettigrew looked hesitate at Remus, but for some reason Remus was not meeting Pettgrew's eyes. The mousey brown hired kid gave Remus one last nervous glance and then he also ran. Lily was half expecting it by this point.

It all happened it a matter of less than 30 seconds.

Marlene sighed and said to her as they packed their bags at a very slow pace, "You know you could go join them, right?"

Lily blinked sure she was imagining what he friend had just said. And dammit she should stop being so surprised all the time. "Sorry?"

She could feel Marlene roll her eyes, "You know; go run after Black, I'm not going to stop you."

Lily blinks again, how did Marlene know that? And then she sighs, because of course; it's Marlene. "Are you sure your okay with it?" Lily asks hesitate all of a sudden.

"No." Marlene replies without a thought, and Lily is taken aback again goddammit because, what? "So, that's why I'm coming with you." Huh, unexpected, but appreciated.

Ten minutes later, Lily is sure that Sirius Blacks existence has been wiped off of the face of the earth; there is nothing, nothing that could suggest that he was anywhere, and nobody knows where he is, all they do is shrug. And Marlene was starting to get pissy, and if Marlene gets pissy she is the most unoptimistic person on earth. So, now Lily is pissy because she has enough negative thoughts flowing around her head already thank you very muc-

"I GOT IT!" Lily shouts. And Marlene startles to a stop.

"Got what?" She asks, and Lily couldn't help but grin. She ignored the other students in the hallway who were giving her weird looks, and said to Marlene in a whisper, energy bubbling under her skin,

"I got an idea on how to find Sirius Black."


Authors Note: 1935 words 'cause I have to write so much more but it's been so long since an update so… HAPPY SECOND CHAPTER DAY!

Okay, time to clear some things up *cracks knuckles* First of all, in the potions class they were assigned to choose a potion as their assignment and discuses about it. They had to make it without their teacher's aid. So Frank had opened the potions book to some random page, so if he and Dorcas did talk, Slughorn would think they were discussing their project. He should have thought more on what he did, but he was distracted by his concern. Annnnnnd they are supposed to make a temporary potion which only acts as a duplicate, like it's not the real potion, it does not perform the activity of the real potion, it only looks like the exact duplicate, so it take very less time to prepare it.
I can go into more detail about it, but I doubt any one wants to read it. Buuuut if anyone actually wants to know, message me and I will shower you with my rants about it.

And why Sirius visited the Black Lake, 'cause water is hella calming. Have you ever just sat and gazed at water moving? It's possessing, and it gives you a sense of peace. And when Sirius ran from the great hall, he was anxious and had to calm down before he did something he would regret. Again.

For those of you who don't know what a Wiggenweld potion is; A wizard prince once used this (Wiggenweld) potion to awaken a princess who had been given the Draught of Living Death by the Hag Leticia Somnolens. The prince first put some of the potion on his lips and then kissed the princess. (From Hp wiki)

Stay tuned for more concerned people.