A/N: This was the original draft of chapter 17 of Forty-One Days. I redrafted for very obvious reasons, but now that this has sat for almost a year I suppose it can come out of hiding. Just a fair bit of warning, this is going to get really hard to read as there is a fair bit of description about things that I may have been able to write fairly easily a year ago, but now I find them heartbreakingly painful. I went through and edited to the best of my ability (mostly just grammatical errors) and now have a final product. I won't be offended if you close this tab and never open it again. This is not for the faint of heart.
Try not to cry.
When did life change so much?
She really didn't know. The last few days were like distant memories to her, always knowing what happened, but missing details. The strangest thing was that she, at this very moment, saw everything, felt everything. A gnat hung in the air right in her line of sight. She swatted at it lazily, it didn't really bother her. The refrigerator in the kitchen hummed. It wasn't loud, yet it still hurt her ears.
It suddenly turned off, bringing her apartment into an eerie quiet that she hadn't felt before. It was as if the entire world had stopped in its tracks.
The doe rested on the couch in the living room, ears erect and unmoving. Her entire form was unwavering in stiffness. Did she want to move? Not really, though it would have been nice to give her sore joints a rest. She'd been stuck staring at the opposite wall for nearly a half an hour.
She waited, hoping that this day would be over sooner than it would be. She knew more than anyone that today would be the longest day of the year, if not her life. If there was any way she could skip ahead to night time, she would do it with great hesitation, though. It was going to be a hard day, but one that she would never forgive herself for if she missed it. Final goodbyes were never Judy's forte. This was as final as it got.
From around the corner, Bonnie and Stu Hopps looked at their daughter. They'd been with her ever since Nick passed five days ago. Unfortunately for them they arrived a couple of hours too late and were unable to say goodbye to their favorite son-in-law. Saying he was their favorite may have been a bit unfair considering how many son-in-laws they had, but he was certainly memorable for just about everything. He was a great soul to have around, a hoot with the little ones, and their favorite aspect about Nick: He loved Judy with every ounce of his being. They hadn't been entirely accepting right at the start of their relationship, but as soon as they found out just how much he cared for and protected their daughter they understood. As far as they were concerned, there was no better match for her.
The two aging rabbits crossed concerned glances at each other. Seeing Judy like this was hard for them, especially knowing how short notice everything had been. Bonnie had taken particular interest in counting the days. From Nick's diagnosis to his death, she counted forty-one days. Over and over in her mind, she repeated it.
Forty-one days…
Forty-one days…
Forty-one days…
And in that time, they'd done nothing but enjoy life as much as possible. They spent all of their time together. They made sure that when he was gone, both of them knew that they were as in love as possible. They got married, and planned it out in the span of two weeks, at that. It may have only been forty-one days, but it was enough to make up for a lifetime.
"Should we say something?" Stu whispered. Bonnie hushed her husband quickly and as quietly as possible, but they both were discovered. Judy's ears flicked towards the minuscule sounds instinctively, and the doe slowly turned to look at them, no emotion evident on her hardened muzzle.
"What would you want to say? There isn't anything you can say that will make this any easier. And honestly, I'd rather you don't say anything. Life seems better when it's quiet," came Judy's dejected reply. Bonnie and Stu came out from around the corner and approached their daughter. Sitting down on each side of her, the doe was soon surrounded by affection, both her mother and father doing the only thing they could to try and make her feel that she wasn't alone. Judy was sandwiched between hugs, to which she quickly brought her own arms around her parents, doing everything in her power to keep her composure.
"Guys, please… I need to stay professional today," she said in the slightest bit of a joking manner, a fraction of a smile tugging at the corners of her lips. The sight was enough to warm Bonnie and Stu's hearts. They hadn't seen the tiniest inkling of a smile on Judy in days.
"We understand, Judy," Bonnie began. "But we hate seeing you like this. Just remember that you have lots of family and friends that care for you, and we want you to be happy. We love you, Judy."
Going back in for another hug, Judy nearly shed a tear, though as she said before, she wanted and needed to stay professional. In the middle of the hug, a knock at the door caused all three of the rabbits' ears to shoot upright and flick towards the front door. Judy eased her way out of the bunny sandwich and walked towards the door. She grabbed the doorknob, figuring that she already knew who was there. The slightest creak sounded as she opened the door and Chief Bogo's hulking form was presented before her.
The buffalo stared down the rabbit with utmost pity, though he could still say that he understood her pain. No matter how much he would have denied it, Bogo was outrageously fond of Nick and his personality. He brought such a positive energy into a relatively strict and hardened profession, and it was something that he would be eternally grateful for being a part of.
Bogo was no stranger to the funeral of a police officer. In his many years acting as an officer and up the ranks, he'd attended more than he should have. Obviously, they should have never happened, as all previous one's involved accidents in the line of duty. This one was even more unfortunate.
"Officer Hopps," the buffalo said quietly. Judy slowly brought her eyes up to meet him, and he instantly felt a wave of emotion wash over him, though as was required of him and his profession, he kept that emotion in check, making sure that it was not shown. Not yet, at least. He knew that later today when he was home and only with his wife that he would finally let it all out.
"Chief Bogo," she responded. He remained hardened, but his eyes translated an understanding of her pain. Judy knew that he'd experienced several lost officers during his time as chief, and though she didn't know any of them, she figured that this was going to be particularly hard on him. It was going to be hard on everybody.
From behind, Bogo noticed Judy's parents standing and watching the encounter. The previous night was a night all about Nick involving a prayer service in his honor where family, friends, and anyone could come and pay their respects. Today was the actual funeral which was reserved for fellow officers and immediate family, which consisted of Judy, Veronica, and all of ZPD's Precinct One that worked closely with Nick. It was at the prayer service that Judy's parents were first able to get a chance to talk to her superior since he'd only been at the wedding for a very short amount of time.
Bogo turned to Judy. "Officer Hopps, my cruizer is parked outside. If you're ready, you can head down and take the passenger seat."
"With all due respect, sir, no officer is ready for something like this, but we carry on... because it's the only way we know…" Without any more words, Judy walked out of the door to her apartment and away from the other three mammals. Bogo followed her form out of the door and watched until she disappeared around the corner. He turned back to Judy's parents.
"Are you sure she'll be alright?" Bonnie asked.
"There is no doubt in my mind that she is going to be well taken care of. She has the city's finest by her side and we will be there for her at any time."
Bogo watched as smiles graced both of the rabbits' faces, though tears began to fill their eyes. The sight was nearly enough for him to warrant tears of his own.
I'm probably going to be fighting those a lot today… Bogo thought to himself.
"We… we just can't thank you enough, Chief. It's been hard on her… on everyone. If we can leave here tomorrow knowing that everything will be ok, then that's enough for us. But if there's anything we can do for you, please, all you have to do is ask," Stu said.
Bogo cracked a tiny smile. "If that family of yours has anyone else like her, please tell them the ZPD wants them. We need more officers like her." With that, Chief Bogo turned around and spared one last glance at Judy's parents before the door shut. Bogo navigated his way down the staircase, which obviously wasn't quite designed for mammals of his size as he barely fit. A few flights of stairs later and Bogo was back out in the open air, which had become rather brisk from the previous day. Standing next to his cruizer was Judy. She stood completely still. Her eyes trained on something in the distance, a puff of white came from every exhale, and the occasional shiver from the cold interrupted her still nature.
"I don't want you getting sick, Hopps. Get in." Bogo's voice caused her to jump a little, the rabbit not expecting his arrival at that time. Though he sounded insincere, he only wanted the best for his smallest officer. Perhaps it was the depth of his voice that caused it, but he greatly wished that he had some way of conveying more emotion into his speech. It was likely the many years in his position that made it difficult to express his feelings. By now, staying stark and emotionless was just who he was.
Judy didn't say a word as she climbed inside the cruizer. Bogo assisted her with the door then went around to the driver's side and got in himself. Since the vehicle remained running it was comfortably warmer than the outside temperature.
If there was one thing that Judy hated more than anything, it was the blistering cold. Snow she could handle, and she actually liked it a lot. But when that temperature dropped well below freezing, she almost turned into a completely different rabbit.
It was uncharacteristically cold for this time of year. By now, the city was usually seeing it's coldest temperatures being the middle of December, but this was cold on another level. She didn't even think she'd felt cold like this back home where it got this low quite often during the winter. Judy barely caught it, but in the gauge cluster, she saw the outside temperature as -2 degrees.
Taking off from her home, Bogo kept his eyes trained on the road while Judy stared out the window, every once in a while feeling her eyes threaten to close. The last few days had been a nightmare, leaving the rabbit with no more than a few hours of sleep each night. That sleep was typically interrupted with nightmares of her hearing Nick's final words, again and again, each time bringing her out of sleep in tears and shivering uncontrollably.
Not only was the morning of December 20th, 2019 cold and dreary, it was also empty and quiet. The city had grown to love the duo of Nick and Judy, and as such, was still healing from the loss. Everyone stayed inside, partially from the cold and partially from an overall low energy due to the recent happenings. It was one of those days when everyone just wanted to stay inside and keep warm.
Progress towards the ZPD felt like it took only seconds, as pretty soon she felt a gentle hoof touch her shoulder. Judy sat up straight and brought her gaze to Chief Bogo. He looked at her with an unrelenting desire to comfort her, yet he restrained himself. There would be another time, he was sure of it.
Bogo didn't need to tell her it was time. She understood that much with their arrival. Judy got out of the car and almost immediately began going towards the ZPD, but she still waited for Bogo to catch up with her. She walked at a quicker pace than usual as if doing so would make the day go by faster. Bogo didn't need to do much to keep up with her, though he noticed that she looked extra tense.
Coming inside the ZPD and out of the blistering cold, it was unlike anything Judy had ever seen. The lobby was packed with officers in dress blues, yet it was almost completely silent. Everyone spoke in a very hushed voice, and as soon as Judy's presence was made known, everyone looked at her and shut up completely. Judy looked at everyone in the room, her eyes catching glimpses of the few that she could call her best friends as they went back to their conversations.
Clawhauser stood by his desk, leaning on it and chatting with some officers that Judy couldn't see due to how they had their backs facing her.
Faxon was sitting by himself. His face was scrunched together as if he was trying his best to hold back tears.
Jesse stood amongst a group of officers that Judy knew quite well, though the she-wolf was undeniably distant from the conversation. She displayed no emotion, not even the brilliant smile that she normally had. Judy figured there wouldn't be much of that for a while.
There were two mammals that stood out among the crowd of uniforms. Two foxes, one much larger than the other, sat next to each other. Veronica wore a draping black dress and Finnick was in an equally black suit complete with a black tie and a very clean white shirt. Perhaps the only funny thought that would come to her mind today actually brought her away from the moment.
I wonder where he keeps that in his van… she thought with a silent chuckle.
Both of them looked as distraught as she'd ever seen them. They didn't speak to each other. For several seconds, all Finnick did was close his eyes and take deep breaths. Veronica kept herself busy with checking her watch almost every five seconds and looking around the room. Eventually, one of those times involved her looking directly into Judy's eyes. As soon as the vixen saw her, the saddest of smiles tugged at her lips and she walked towards Judy, Finnick following close behind her.
For the first few seconds of Veronica approaching Judy, nothing was said until Veronica initiated the conversation.
"How are you feeling, Judy?" she said quietly, though Judy wondered if that question would be better directed at Veronica. She could hear her voice falter and come back. Her entire body shook ever so slightly and her voice sounded hoarse.
"I'm managing," Judy said with a look up from the floor. "That's really it. Just managing." That was all the more that was said, as pretty soon Veronica had begun to walk away.
"I'm just going to… run to the restroom very quick. I'll be back," she said with a sniff. With that, the vixen was gone, leaving Judy and Finnick alone.
"Look, Judy," Finnick began. Despite the amount of time she'd known Nick, the number of times she'd heard Finnick speak was minimal, though never before had she heard him sound so defeated. "I'd like to thank you… for… for everything. I liked the Nick that loved you… he made me want to be a better mammal after he met you because I saw the way he changed, and… well, it looked like he was having a good time, you know, living the dream with someone he really cared about." Judy smiled at the fennec fox.
"I'm glad, Finnick. Are you doing anything different, now?" she asked.
"I've been working at a greasy old restaurant for a while, but now I'm going to culinary school. I'm gonna be a chef," he replied with a shy smile. Judy found the slightest bit of joy seeing the usually gruff and tough fennec acting this way. Maybe she hadn't only changed Nick.
"I'm proud of you. Stick with it, is all the advice I can give you. I'm sure you'll do great."
"Kinda hard for me to quit. I really like it," Finnick added. Judy was going to continue the conversation, but something caught her eye and brought her full attention that direction.
"I'm sorry, Finnick, but could you excuse me for one moment? There's something I need to take care of…" she said as she walked away from the tiny fox. As Judy walked through the crowd of mammals, she ignored every acknowledgment of her. There was one thing on her mind right now, and nothing was going to get in her way. She understood that doing what she was about to do was going to be the hardest thing she would likely do in her entire life.
Set aside from the many officers that stood in the middle of the lobby was a small area that she originally planned to avoid entirely, though for some reason she felt herself being drawn towards it. A great multitude of vases of flowers surrounded the area, all of them centered around one thing situated against the wall. She approached it slowly, suddenly feeling her heart pound inside her chest. Each step took more and more of her breath away until she found it difficult to breathe, but she kept on walking.
When she was close enough, Judy stopped and reached her paw out.
It came in contact with cool metal, painted black and as shiny as anything she'd ever seen. The sensation was equally chilling, causing her fur to stand on end. Though it wasn't the metal that peaked her strange interest. It was the mammal laying before her that made the first tear fall.
He looked so handsome, all dressed up in his ZPD blues. Not a wrinkle existed on his shirt, his tie was perfectly straight. His paws were folded neatly at his waist, and still on his face from the moment he left, a simple, yet beautiful smile.
Her head leaned forward until it rested on the edge of the casket, her tears soaking the intricate upholstery. She found one of her paws reaching forward as if on it's own, soon gripping his which stayed perfectly still.
His paws were cold, no longer giving a warm embrace like they used to. His fur was still soft, just as she remembered it. Judy feared that soon all of the wonderful things about being his would soon fade, and all she would be left with were the memories. The emotions would be gone. The sensations… gone. All she would have are the memories.
Judy raised her head and turned away from Nick. She looked out to the crowd of officers, as well as Veronica, who'd just returned, and Finnick. Every mammal was staring at her. One face popped out like a sore thumb. It was Jesse, and she had begun running towards Judy.
The rabbit mustn't have felt it coming because soon her vision blurred and everything went towards the floor. Shouts of her name were uttered, though they fell on deaf ears as her world became black.
The Previous Night
Mammals of all shapes and sizes filled the lobby of the ZPD Headquarters. Many chairs had been set up, though there was simply not enough room to accommodate everyone. Several mammals, perhaps hundreds, were forced to stand even outside.
Sitting in the very front row were all of Nick's closest friends from the ZPD. Clawhauser, Faxon, Jesse, Carley, Chief Bogo. Not to mention Judy and her parents were closest to the aisle. Many other admirers of Nick were set more towards the back. Judy had watched everyone fill the space. She figured close to five hundred were in attendance.
Set at the front of the space was a podium, offset to make room for the reason that everyone was here. A black casket sat closed at the center of attention. A mountain of roses was atop it as well as nearly a hundred vases filled with more flowers surrounding it, all sent by people who cared about Nick.
Judy looked over to where Faxon was. He'd gotten up and walked towards the podium. As he became situated at the front of the lobby, everyone else quieted down, allowing for the wolf to speak.
"Hello, everyone," his voice echoed. "My name is Officer Faxon Howlson. I've been with the ZPD for seven years. In that time I've learned a lot, but only recently did I learn what it meant to love with everything you've got.
Nick and I were just about best friends from the start. We got along very well, and it was after we'd been friends for about a year that he finally decided to tell me that he needed to get something off his chest. He proceeded to tell me that he didn't think too highly of wolves before he met me, and I asked him why. Howling…. That's why…" There was a brief moment of laughter from the crowd.
"But let me tell you, Nick was just about the most caring person I've ever met, and that's putting things very lightly. Most wouldn't have even recognized it, but he knew just what to say at any given time. On several occasions, I would come to work in the morning, almost constantly in a sour mood, and Nick would make my morning just a little bit brighter. His quick wit and incredible sense of humor have brought laughs to us all here at the Zootopia Police Department. I know each and every one of the officers here can relate to that statement. I can guarantee that you all have a story about Nick, whether it would be one that Judy would appreciate or not." Once again, the room erupted into a short bout of laughter, this time making Judy blush a little bit.
"Now, this is something that I have never told anyone before. It was a little over a month ago, November 11th, I believe it was when I received a peculiar knock on my apartment door. I got up and looked through the peephole, only to find Nick waiting outside my door with something in his paws. I swiftly opened the door and let him in. It was clear that he was in a rush, so I let him get right to the chase. Really quick, at this time, Nick's cancer had been made known to everyone, so I was a bit nervous about this visit. I didn't know if it had anything to do with that, but I still let him talk. Nick showed me what he was holding in his paws. It was a ring. A diamond ring, and a beautiful one, at that. You can still see that ring on Judy's finger.
At first, I was a little confused, especially knowing what he'd just gone through and what was going to happen, hard as that was to think. I literally called him crazy, and he agreed with me. He was crazy, but he was crazy about that sweet and caring rabbit sitting up front, here. It was the next day that he asked her to marry him, and I don't think I've ever heard anyone sound so happy in my life when she said yes to him. It nearly put tears in my eyes.
You might be wondering what kind of person would propose to his girl even though he knew he only had a short time to live. I'll tell you. It's the kind of person that loves with everything he's got. It didn't matter that he was going to die, only that he was able to spend that time with such an amazing mammal and to be able to call her his wife.
And so, what does it mean to love with everything you've got? It means to never look back. Live in the moment. The past is the past, the future doesn't exist, so live life like it's a gift, and be in the present. Love everyone, but most of all, love that one that makes you want to do the most irrational things possible. Live life like Nick did. If we can take only one thing from his life, let it be the fact that he was able to see the best in everything, including himself and everyone around him. I can't express through words the way I feel right now…" Howlson took some time to compose himself, taking deep breaths and blinking several times before he continued.
"Losing your best friend is never easy, and on some level, I feel that we all have lost a friend, whether you only knew Nick a little, or spent every single day with him. But what does that mean for us? It means we are all here for each other, we can all relate. It means we can all help each other live life like Nick did. Now, I'd like for everyone to participate in a moment of silence for our friend…"
Present Day
"...Judy…"
The voice came in very softly, but it was enough for her to hear it. The world was dark, but it was beginning to reveal itself again.
"...Judy…"
Louder this time. Her world became unbelievably bright as her eyes were opened to the sight of several faces staring at her. Jesse was at the forefront, gently shaking her shoulders as she tried to wake the bunny.
"What happened?" Judy mumbled as she started panting heavier and heavier. She started to panic, her eyes darting all over the place and her head looking in all directions. "Oh, God, I had this terrible dream that Howlson was speaking at Nick's funeral and it all felt so real…!" Jesse's pained expression told Judy the one thing that she didn't want to know.
It simply wasn't a dream.
Judy couldn't do anything to stop the flood of tears, and Jesse wrapped her up in a soothing hug, though it did little in the realm of helping the sobbing rabbit. Her paw gently stroked Judy's back, slowly but surely calming her down enough so she could speak to her.
"It's alright, Judy. You just blacked out. Take deep breaths and let me know if you feel like you're going to faint again. The procession is about to start."
Judy didn't want it to be real. If anything, she wanted to go back to the dream. At least there she knew that it was just that.
By now, the crowd had mostly dissipated knowing that the funeral was about to begin. Those with roles in the final goodbye for Nick had prepared themselves and were in position, ready to send off their friend. Jesse hadn't a role other than to stay by Judy and make sure that she was alright for the time being. The wolf helped her up and the two stood side by side. Pretty soon the majority of the officers present were standing much like those two. Four other officers had made their way to the back of the lobby.
Judy looked their way, watching as they were about to close Nick's casket for the final time. She suddenly broke from the line of officers and ran towards her husband. The four officers stopped and nearly prevented her from advancing, fearing that she would end up much like before, but she waved them off.
She needed to see his face one last time.
The officers moved out of her way, allowing for her to get up close once again. It was just as terrifying as before, looking down at her deceased husband. But there was a longing inside of her. A longing to just get one last look at him before he was hidden from all view.
It seemed as if he'd changed since she last looked at him. The moment she gazed upon his calm and at peace demeanor, she felt that same feeling wash over her. Her body stopped shaking and she managed to actually smile as a single tear dripped from her face and onto his fur. Leaning forward, Judy placed a tender, loving, and final kiss on his forehead as she held his intertwined paws in her own. As her paws left his, her fingertips felt the wedding band on his ring finger.
Judy turned around, nodding at the four officers as she walked back towards Jesse. Standing more proud than ever, Judy wiped away the last of her tears and stood straight and true.
Pretty soon, Judy looked to her right, seeing the Zootopian flag being draped over Nick's casket, and then being carried slowly out to the awaiting hearse. As the casket was carried past the lines of officers, everyone saluted their fallen hero, including Judy, who saluted with more passion than ever before. As they passed, Judy followed slowly behind them, making her the first to be out the door after Nick.
She watched as the many officers filed out of the ZPD, each one surrounding the rear of the hearse that would transport Nick to his final resting place. After everyone was out, which Judy figured was at least one hundred and fifty uniformed officers, the four designated to carry Nick lifted him up and into the hearse, offering him one last salute before the door was closed and everyone got into position for the procession to the cemetery.
Judy made her way to Chief Bogo's cruizer, which would be leading the procession behind the hearse. As she walked, Judy saw Veronica and Finnick follow Jesse to her's and promptly get inside.
Bogo arrived at his cruizer, once again assisting Judy with the door. Getting situated in the passenger seat, Judy prepared herself for possibly the worst of today. The procession began down one of the main downtown streets and Judy took a look in the rearview mirror. Perhaps close to forty police cars drove in a line behind her.
But the real sight was ahead of them. Lining the streets were hundreds, if not thousands of mammals that had all come to pay their respects to Nick. Some held signs, showing their love for the fallen officer while others simply stood and watched as they passed by. Judy was nearly brought to the point of tears seeing all of the support from mammals that she'd never even spoken to, and it made her crack the smallest of smiles knowing that Nick was loved by so many.
The drive was slow despite their route being completely empty due to the escort in front of the funeral coach, but eventually, they reached the cemetery where more uniformed officers stood by the entrance, each one offering salutes as they drove by. This was it. The final moments were about to begin, and Judy was surprisingly nervous about it all being over.
She had no idea what the future held for her, making things seem so unlike anything else. All Judy's life, she'd had a plan. First, she was going to get into the academy, then she was going to become the first bunny cop, and then she was going to fulfill her dream of making the world a better place. Of course, she didn't count on falling in love during that time, and she definitely didn't count on having that love of her life die prematurely. For once in her life, she felt lost.
Lost for words, lost on what to do next. Did she start dating other mammals? Did she stay alone for the rest of her life? What happens next?
While she pondered the next chapter in her life, she realized that none of it mattered right now. The only thing that mattered to her was Nick and giving him the send away he deserves.
Pretty soon Bogo had stopped his cruizer and gotten out. It was a matter of seconds before Judy's door was opened for her and a blast of the fierce winter air hit her like a truck. She was thankful that they would only be out in this cold for a short amount of time. More than twenty minutes would prove to be too much for her to handle in terms of the cold. Seconds was all she could take of the experience as a whole.
The large group of officers arrived at the burial site, a section of the cemetery that had been set apart from the rest, sectioned off with short metal fencing and only containing enough room for two small mammals to be buried. The second one would be for her someday, hopefully not anytime soon. As much as she hoped to see Nick again, she wanted it to be when she was ready. There was still so much for her to do.
Sat next to the site were three chairs, and Judy took the middle one, Finnick and Veronica taking the seats on each side of the bunny. Pretty soon, the four casket bearers arrived with Nick and gently placed him down where she would see him last, directly over the tomb that had been dug into the cold, hard, winter ground. The wind blew into her face, causing her to need to squint to see well.
She didn't know what it was, but any words that were spoken before the first shots went off went unheard by the rabbit. The first firing of the twenty-one gun salute made her flinch as a tear silently rolled down her cheek. Each subsequent shot brought on another flinch and even more tears. She didn't even feel like she had to cry anymore, it just felt normal at this point. The entire week had been nothing but hopeless sobbing and endless attempts to console herself. For the time being, crying was all she knew.
It was the movement of a few mammals that got her to look up from the ground. The air was filled with the pure ringing of "Taps" as she looked towards Nick's casket, seeing them lifting the flag off and then two of them diligently folding it. She watched closely, predicting the next part of the intricate folding process as she had done herself so many times before.
It was at this moment that Judy witnessed the most horrific sight she would ever behold. She'd been so intrigued by the folding of the flag that she neglected to look at who was doing the folding, and more importantly, the wolf that was now presenting it to her.
Howlson had never looked so distraught in his life, and Judy had seen him at his worst. Tears threatened to fall from his red eyes as he bent down to give Judy the flag. She took it graciously, tears beginning to fill her own eyes more rapidly. With one last effort to stay professional, Howlson offered her a salute complete with the tiniest sniff brought on by him losing the battle to hold it back.
Minutes passed, or at least it felt like it. Judy didn't move an inch, clutching onto the flag like it was going to save her. When she looked back up, the majority of the mammals had left, leaving only her and Bogo still at the burial site. She checked behind her, seeing everyone walking back to their cruizers. Veronica and Finnick didn't look back. Nobody did because nobody wanted to think about it anymore. Nobody wanted to remember.
And yet they would remember. They would reminisce on the good times with Nick; on the times when Nick proved to everyone that he was more than just a fox, that he was more than just a police officer. They would think of the times that he was a friend, a partner, a mate, a son, someone who would listen. They would forget all of the bad things because those aren't what mattered to him. To his dying day, he kept a smile on his face, even if it wasn't always visible, he had it on his heart. They would remember that smile.
They would remember HIM.
