The feeling of being alone set in as I sat next to unfamiliar faces talking about unfamiliar topics. I was surrounded by people who have spent years with each other, and none of them wanted anything to do with me. Everyone was talking amongst each other about kills and assists, and who was taking care of whose horses. I finished my meal and left the table. I walked through the dining hall and if felt hundreds of eyes watching me as a moved towards the entrance. There were hushed whispers from passing tables; everyone was trying to figure out who I was, or why I was here because I was a face that no one recognized. I tried to ignore them as best as I could, but there was a small part of me that was bothered by the disgusted tones in their voices, and sickened stares. I didn't know where I was going, but I wanted to get far away from them. My first thought was to run away but I doubt I would get far. Erwin was probably expecting me to run and would have a search party after me before I could make it back into town. I didn't know where anything was here except for Levi's chambers and I didn't want to be in a small room seeing as though I just got out of my cell a few hours ago. I walked down the hall and found the large heavy doors that I knew lead outside. I pushed them open just enough for me to slip through. I didn't want to open them to much in case they creaked and would give away my position. I stepped outside and felt the sun warm my skin instantly. I hadn't noticed the pathway was lined with blooming rose bushes. I walked over to the nearest bush where pale pink roses were in full bloom. I knelt down and inhaled the sweet aroma of the roses. I gently pluck out a half bloomed rose and softly twirled it in between my fingers. I walked down the line of bushes and picked out a different colored rose from each. I had a bouquet of red, white, pinks, and even sunset orange roses by the time I made it half way down the line. I held the bouquet up to my nose and breathed in the intoxicating aroma.
"What do you plan to do with all of those?" I deep voice stopped me
"Exactly what I'm doing with them right now; haven't you ever stopped and smelled the roses captain?" I replied with a heavy sarcastic tone
Levi looked to me completely unamused by my question, "You're defiling military property."
"I'm sorry I picked the military's precious flowers." I rolled my eyes and continued down the line of bushes
Levi continued to follow me as I slowly moved from bush to bush collecting more roses.
"Are you just going to witness to my 'crime'?" I sneered
"Yes." Levi replied curtly
"Well if you're going to stick around then be useful and hold these." I shoved the bouquet of roses in his hands so I could use both of my hand
Levi took the roses but looked down to them confused as to why he was willingly holding them. When he thought I wasn't looking he lowered his head to smell the roses and I saw a smile on his lips. I picked more roses and carefully placed them in the bouquet Levi was holding. I arranged the flowers around so that the same colors weren't next to each other.
"There, now I'll have a nice bouquet for my room." I smiled and took the bouquet from Levi
"We should probably see if they found a place for you to stay." Levi said
Levi turned around and began back toward the castle entrance. I sighed and shuffled my feet slowly behind him. I didn't want to go back inside yet, but then again I was excited to finally see where I was staying. Levi moved around the castle with confidence and I completely lost my bearings as to what direction I was moving. Levi stopped in front of a wooden door and knocked twice. I heard a soft voice inviting us in and Levi pulled the door open.
"Commander." Levi saluted
"Captain Levi, please have a seat." Erwin never looked up from what he was doing
Levi and I stepped inside but neither of us sat down.
"I'll only be a moment. I wanted to know if there has been a room assignment for Jensen, sir." Levi asked
"No rush or anything." I added and continued to smell my flowers
Erwin looked up from his paper work and furrowed his large eyebrows as he took notice to my flower collection.
"What are those?" Erwin asked
"Seriously have none of you people seen flowers before? For god sakes they are growing right outside the doors." I rolled my eyes
"They're for her room." Levi said annoyed
"Well about that…" Erwin started
"No don't start with some bullshit about having to room with the newbies from the latest cadet corps." I growled, "We had a deal, commander."
"No you won't be in the barrack. You'll be rooming with Section Commander Hanji." Erwin said casually
I saw an evil glint in Levi's eyes and it made my stomach tighten with anxiety.
"Who the hell is that?" I asked with a nervous anger
Levi turned and grabbed my arm and lead me out of Commander Erwin's office. We continued moving through the castle's maze of halls until we stopped in front of another large wooden door. This time Levi didn't bother knocking, but instead pulled the door open and pulled me inside with him. My eyes widened in shock as I saw the large mess that was splayed all around the room. There were papers, gadgets, tools, and even half eaten food on every square inch of the room.
"Hanji." Levi called out and a figured moved in the corner
I squealed expecting a large rat to come running out of the room trying to escape the mess of the room. Instead of a rat a tall woman began to stand and move towards us.
"Don't be afraid I don't bite!" a voice cooed
"Hanji, this is Emory Jensen. Emory, this is Section Commander Hanji. Meet your new roommate." Levi said with a sense of humorous happiness
"It's Em." I grumbled
Hanji thrusted her hand out enthusiastically in offering to shake mine.
"I'll pass; I see the state of this room and I don't want to know what is on your hand." I refused disgusted
"Don't mind all of that! It's all in the name of science." Hanji laughed
"Well you two have fun." Levi called behind him as he was half way down the hall
"Asshole." I mumbled under my breath as I realized that he had snuck away
Hanji drug me into the disgusting room and began to tell me all about her research about titans. I barely slept that night due to the constant fear of a rat or insects crawling out from the filth and up onto the bed with me. Hanji spend most of the night tinkering with different gadgets and writing in journals. By the time the sunlight broke through the windows I was annoyed, exhausted, and twitching with paranoia. At the first sight of light I jumped out of the bed, threw the door open, and ran down the hall in search of a place to shower. I ran up and down the hall opening all the doors in my desperate search for a wash room with no avail. I expanded my search to different floors and ended up running face first into an unsuspecting person. We collided sending each of us to the floor running our head where we impacted.
"Ouch, I'm sorry I wasn't looking where I was going." I little voice apologized
"It's my fault. Please tell me there is a place to shower in the bloody castle." I groaned in pain
I stood up and dusted myself off and saw that the person I ran into was short than me with light brown hair and an innocent look in her eyes.
"Yeah there is I'll show you were. I'm Petra by the way." Petra said with a sweet voice
"Em." I replied surprised by how friendly she was to a person who plowed into her at full speed
"Oh Emory! Sorry I didn't recognize you. I was sitting at the table last night when Levi introduced you." Petra said happily and began to lead the way to the wash room
I didn't bother correcting her; I was starting to lose faith that anyone would follow my request to call me 'Em'.
"Don't apologize I was the one who ran into you." I said kindly
"Why am I being so nice to her? Why is she being so nice to me?" I thought to myself as I followed Petra
"I'm very excited to begin working with you. All everyone could talk about yesterday was how good you are with those swords, and how you took down that titan. You were the talk of the castle! Everyone is excited to see your skills." Petra exclaimed
"Wait, so everyone was talking about my skills not my past? Did I misjudge the looks and the hushed murmurs?"
"Oh, well… thanks?" I stammered awkwardly
"Don't worry about it, you'll get used to us and this place. You're going to fit right in!" Petra smiled at me, "Here we are. Everything is in there that you need to wash up. It was nice talking to you! I'll see you at breakfast."
Petra waved as she walked away and I stood there shocked by her kindness and how accepting she was of me. Could it be possible that no one knows about my criminal past? I pushed opened the door and heard the echoing of others having conversations. I stepped inside and followed the signs to the woman's side. I found towels and soaps and began to undress. I stepped inside a stall and turn the knobs letting the water fall down onto my hands until it was warm enough to begin to wash my hair. I scrubbed every inch of my body with force turning my skin red with irritation. I scrubbed and scrubbed but I still felt like I was covered in the filth of Hanji's room.
"There is no way in hell that I am spending another night in that filthy room." I thought to myself and it sent a shiver down my spine
Eventually I ran out of hot water and had to stop my attempts to feel clean. I stepped out and began to dry off with a towel.
"Shit!" I exclaimed loudly and it echoed through the bathroom
I had forgotten that I didn't have a spare set of clothing to change into when I sprinted out of the room. Come to think of it Levi didn't bring a second set when I changed yesterday. I don't even know where he got the clothing or I would go get another set.
"Is everything alright?" a voice came echoing loudly through the bathroom snapping me out of my thoughts
"Levi? What the hell are you doing!? I'm naked!" I shrieked as I turned to see a shadow in the entry way
"I know it is a bathroom. I can't see you." Levi replied annoyed and in the back of my head I punched myself
I wrapped the towel around me covering myself and stepped out to see Levi also with a towel wrapped around his waist. I arched an eyebrow as I took in the marvelous sight that was Levi half naked in front of me. He was more muscular than I had imagined when we were riding to the castle. The muscles from his chest, to his ribs, and his abs were raised with a ridged definition. Even a blind person could appreciate his body if they ran their hands down him. For a short and angry little man he was actually kind of sexy like this. I began to blush deeply as I continued to look up and down at Levi's physique.
"I-I don't… uhm… I don't have another set of clothes to change into…" I stumbled over every word as I couldn't focus long enough to collect my thoughts
"If you wouldn't have run off yesterday I could have shown you." Levi replied and he lips turned up slightly as he noticed my stare
My face fell and I glared at him with annoyance, "Just tell me where I can get another set."
"No." Levi said coldly
"Excuse me? I'm not putting those back on after sleeping in the filthy room!" I exclaimed
"I have to shower." Levi turned and walked away leaving me standing with my mouth open in shock
"Fine you want to play dirty? I'll play dirty little man."
I went back and forced myself to put on the clothes I wore yesterday. The dirty feeling returned instantaneously, but I shoved the gagging down and went back to the division that separates the men's side from the woman's side. I popped my head in and heard the sound of water running. I tip toed my way in carefully and saw that Levi was the only person showering at the moment. I grabbed his clothes and silently ran out of the bathroom and around the corner to wait for him to come out. Ten minutes later the bathroom door slowly opened and Levi's head popped out; his hair still dripping water. Levi looked down the hall in both directions before stepping out and walking down the hall with surprising confidence. I watched until he turned a corner and then ran quickly to see where he was going. Levi stepped in to a room and I suspected that it was his own. Lucky bastard was close enough to the bathroom he knew no one would see him take a walk of shame back to his room. I approached the door and knocked. The door swung open and Levi stood in front of me with the towel hanging loosely off his hips. I forced myself to not direct my gaze back down to his chiseled body and look him directly in the eye.
"Bring me more clean clothes or I burn these." I threatened
"Fine." Levi replied quickly
"Wait really? You're going to give in that easily?" I asked shocked dropping my tough girl persona
"That's my favorite shirt." Levi pointed to the pile of clothes in my arms
"Well it's my shirt until I get clean clothes. Hell maybe I'll wear this. You're the same size as me." I shrugged
"How do you expect me to get you clothes if I don't have any to wear myself?" Levi asked
"I don't care. You were going to leave me naked, so now I'll leave you naked to figure it out." I spat "I don't know when we get paid or whatever, but when I get money I'm going back into town and buying clothes. I've seen people in civilian clothes everywhere. If I don't have to wear this uniform all the time then I'm going to take full advantage of it."
"Give me my clothes and I'll take you shopping right now." Levi offered
"Seriously?" I narrowed my eyes
"Do I look like I'm lying?" Levi said coldly
"I don't think you have many facial expressions so yes you kind of look like you're lying." I replied
Levi sighed exasperated, "I'm not lying, I promise."
"Fine I'll believe you." I pushed past him and walked into his room
I placed his clothing on the bed and sat down next to them.
Levi looked to me and to the clothes several time confused as to why I wasn't leaving.
"I've seen plenty of men naked," I tried to keep my voice steady as dark memories came back, "you watched me change yesterday. You have nothing I haven't seen."
Levi admitted defeat and grabbed his clothes and walked to the other side of the bed so my back was towards him. I didn't turn around; he earned that much privacy. A few moments later Levi came back to the other side of the room tying his ascot around his neck.
"Ready? Good let's go." I stood and walked towards the door
Levi and I left the castle on horseback and rode into the heart of town where all of the stalls and vendors were located. We dismounted and tied up the horses so we could begin my shopping spree on foot. We walked through different shops but nothing really caught my eye.
"I'm going to try a few of these on." I grabbed an arm full and walked to the back of the store.
Levi continued to mindlessly walk through the store looking at random articles of clothing. I picked out an outfit and left it on.
"Alright this is good." I walked back to where Levi was looking at different shirt.
I had picked out a long and form fitting dress like shirt with a V-neck and black tights with slipper like shoes. I held my uniform in my arms. Levi looked me over and blushed a little as he noticed how exposed my breasts were.
"Let's go then. I've already settled everything with the owner." Levi began towards the door
"Wait." I called after him
Levi turned around waiting for me to explain
"There is just one more place I want to stop." I pleaded
"No." Levi said coldly and walked out
I stared at the spot where he stood with burning anger, but eventually followed after him. When I walked out Levi was untying his horse and I began to put my uniform in one of the saddle bags. Levi mounted his horse and began down the street. Once I was finished I too got up on my horse, but quickly kicked my horse into a run in the opposite direction. Levi cursed and threw his horses head to the side forcing the horse to hastily turn around. I began to run through the crowded street forcing people to move out of my way in the last possible seconds. I took turns and different streets in hopes to loose Levi. After a while I stopped and listed for other hooves coming my direction but the sound never came. I figured the coast was clear and dismounted. I walked the horse back into the crowds of people and began to search for a specific building. I moved along and noticed the eyes that were following me. I was getting into the part of town where people were starting to recognize me. Vendor began to move their products away from the edges of their tables in fear of me stealing something. Small children waved to me and called me by name happy to see me again. A few men averted their gazes as they feared me. A few women waved and smiled sweetly. I was finally starting feel back at home and not so alone anymore. It was probably a good thing Levi said no to coming here he would have been hated and possibly attacked. I found the place I was looking for and tied up my horse. Walked under a sign that read pub and I pushed the familiar door open. A smell of yeast and barely hit me like a wave as I walked inside.
"Em! Oh Em my dear they have finally let you go!" a familiar gruffy voice called out to me
"Hawke!" I squealed as I ran up to the elderly man
"It's good to see you too dear." Hawke said warmly as he hugged me
"Shut up you sorry excuse for men!" Hawke hollered above the rumble of conversations
The room immediately got quiet as everyone obeyed Hawkes command.
"You all better be on you best behavior because look whose back!" Hawke yelled proudly, "Someone get her a round!"
A wave of beer stein filled the air as everyone in the pub greeted me warmly and there were cheers and hollering from the patrons.
"What'd you do escape! Knowing you they were probably begging to get you released!" A rosy cheeked fat man slurred
"It's good to see you Mansfield. I see you've hit the liquor a little early today." I chuckled
"Em my dear you know me better than that! I haven't stopped drinking since my 18th birthday!" Mansfield laughed and his enormous belly shook
"Go be a gentleman Gregory and get Em a drink! We're celebrating her release!" Hawke ordered and Mansfield stumbled his way towards the bar
"Come sit with your old man. I want to know about your first time in the dungeons." Hawke limped his way to an open table
"It is an interesting story." I sat down across from Hawke, "I have a lot to tell you and please be understanding."
"Don't worry I've done plenty of stupid stuff in my life there isn't much I could get mad at you about." Hawke patted my hand
"You say that now…" I mumbled, "Anyway…" I began to retell the story of my battle against the Titan and how I was forced into the Scout Regimen.
"You're WHAT!?" Hawke yelled and all the heads turned towards us
"Shhh! I didn't have a choice Hawke! It was either that or spend the rest of my life down there! This way I still get some freedom; I mean I was able to come here, and I get to kill titans now." I tried to reassure him
"What about this place, all of us, or duty to the people?" Hawke asked
"Well if I see someone who has it coming to them I swear I'm not going to hesitate. After everything I've been through, and after everything you all have taught me I can't not protect those who are unable to protect themselves. I will just a little more to add to it now. Instead of the few I will protect the many." I said matter-of-factly
"That mean you are also protecting all of the bad people that we have sworn to take down." Hawke said bitterly
"But I will still be looking for them too, as will all of you. I'm still the same girl you taught." I said a little hurt by his tone
"Fine, if you say that you didn't have any other choice then I will support you on this decision. What kind of adopted father would I be if I didn't support my daughter?" Hawke said sadly
"Believe me I thought very hard about this decision. It wasn't easy, but it makes it a little better knowing that you will support me." I said with a tear in my eye and patted Hawke's hand, "I owe you my life Hawke, trust me I won't do anything that could put you in danger or aggravate you."
Hawke looked up and smiled at me sweetly and love shone in his eyes. Hawke saved me many years ago and helped me become the woman I am today. It kills me to leave him behind, but if I didn't get back to the castle soon Erwin will have me hunted for desertion and hung.
"I'm sorry, but I have to go before they find me here and I get a lot of people in trouble." I said sadly and stood up
Hawke stood up with me and hugged me tight, "It's alright dear I understand. Come visit me soon you hear?"
"I promise. Goodbye." I sniffled
I walked out of the pub and began to untie my horse with tears slowly falling down my cheeks.
"Did you find what you were looking for?" Levi's voice sounded loudly in my ears
"So you did find me. I did, I saw who I wanted to see and now I'm ready to go home." I said with a shaky voice and mounted my horse
"What your father a drunk?" Levi asked and it angered me
"You don't know shit about my life… Don't go assuming about it either." I kicked the horse into a walk and went past Levi
"Fine I'll go find out then." Levi jumped down from his horse and tied it to the post
"You step in there you'll get your scrawny little ass beat." I warned and turned back around
"I believe I can handle myself." Levi said confidently and opened the door
The door creaked shut behind him and even outside I heard the pub go dead silent.
