A/N - Before I get to the second chapter… you should all go read Stranger Than Fiction by Aspen's Dark Twilight … It's a one shot and its actually a true story that happened to her, it's sooo funny… go read and review it. :o)
Seven Deadly Sins: Sloth.
"Can't you make Emmett do it?"
"No Jasper… Emmett did it last time, it will only take you 10 minutes" Esme scolded, in a true-motherly fashion.
Jasper let out and exaggerated sigh and slumped his shoulders in defeat, plopping himself down onto the sofa as soon as Esme left the house.
I could always… no, no, Esme would be mad.
He thought, groaning in annoyance as his conscience got in the way of his plan.Jasper turned his head glaring at the many glass windows for a few seconds before a mischievous grin formed across his face.
But she would never know.
The voice in his head that sounded suspiciously like Emmett snickered…Ignoring the protests of his conscience, Jasper pulled out his cell phone, glancing round the room quickly, before punching the digits and raising the phone to his ear.
"Oh the cleverness of me" Jasper sighed stretching out on the sofa, after making the call.
A little while later…
Edward and Bella walked into the Cullen house, to find Jasper sprawled out on the sofa, headphones in his ears and his nose buried in a book… completely oblivious to the constant banging coming from the windows at the back of the house…
Trying to stifle his laughter, Edward walked over to his brother yanking off the headphones.
Ignoring the annoyed glare Jasper was shooting at Edward, Bella giggled and asked "Umm, Jasper… why is Mike Newton hanging upside down by his shoes laces from a ladder outside your house"
Eye's widening in horror, Jasper snapped his head round towards the windows to see, just like Bella said… Mike Newton dangling by his shoe laces about 6 feet off the ground, his face a strange red color while he banging his fists against the window and his mouth clearly trying to call out the word "Help"
"Woops" Jasper muttered, his initial shock now turning to amusement as he followed Bella and Edward over to the window to get a closer look…
"Maybe someone should help him down" Bella suggested between giggling fits.
"Aww but I like him so much better this way, with all the blood rushing to his head he can't think inappropriate thoughts about you" Edward smirked as Bella playfully slapped his arm before turning back to the window.
"JASPER HALE!"
"Oh crap" Jasper flinched after hearing Esme's obvious angry voice coming from the doorway and tried, in vain, to calm her down using his power.
"Jasper do not even think about trying to calm me down right now" Esme warned putting down her shopping bags and walked over to the trio…
"Please tell me you did not pay someone to do your chores again" She asked in a strict, controlled voice she almost never used.
Rocking on the balls of his feet and finding a sudden interest in his shoes, Jasper looked towards the floor muttering "Maybe" closing his eyes waiting for her to yell at him for being lazy…
After watching in silence, Edward takes this as his cue to leave and scoops Bella up into his arms running up to his room and setting her down on the couch, smirking as he hears Esme begin with Jasper's well-earned lecture…
"Edward…" Bella began, her face still flushed from laughing.
"Yes love?"
"Well, I was wondering… what did Esme mean by 'again'? Why was she so mad?" She asked, raising her eyebrows as Edward started to laugh.
Once he was done laughing at his memories, Edward explained "Jasper doesn't like doing chores… and not long before you moved to Forks, Esme asked him to clean the leaves out of the gutters, well… after we all got back from hunting we found Tyler Crowley stuck up on the roof, apparently the ladders had fallen and he had been up there for about 2 hours... in the rain"
"So Jasper paid Tyler to do his chores for him?" Bella began and Edward nodded grinning "Well how come Jasper didn't help him down when the ladders fell?"
"Oh he didn't hear, we found him in pretty much the same situation as today… listening to music while reading a book in his own little world" He explained.
Bella rolled her eyes, snuggling against Edward's chest she said "Jasper really is quite lazy for a vampire"
"I concur" Edward smirked wrapping his arms around her.
After about half an hour, Alice, Rosalie and Emmett all walk into Edward's room grinning widely.
"Sooo… either of you care to explain why there's a kid hanging by his shoe laces outside?" Emmett asked, clearly amused.
Bella smiled before realisation hit her "We forgot about Mike!"
Jumping up she walked quickly out of the room dragging Edward along behind her, who was once again, laughing at Mike's misfortune.
They reached the living room, closely followed by Alice, Rosalie and Emmett, to find Jasper sitting on the love seat looking ashamed as Esme continued her lecture and an exhausted looking Mike still dangling upside down outside, swaying slightly in the wind having, given up his banging on the window and pleas for help…
"HA! Look he's purple" Emmett commented, his booming laugh snapping Esme out of her angry rant.
"Oh somebody help that poor boy down" She said, her voice filled with concern as she ran over to the window, not seeing Jasper grin.
Taking full advantage of his mothers distraction, Jasper picked up his book and ipod… resuming his earlier position on the sofa, while everyone else dealt with Mike…
The Lesson: Don't agree to do Jasper's chores, no matter how much he pays you… it will only end in some sort of ladder related disaster…
A/N - Ha, okay… so the situation was funny in my head… but I didn't write it very well. It thought it would be cute to have Jasper be all sloth-like… I had fun imagining the start of the chapter where right after Esme leave's he's sort of arguing with his conscience and kinda like his conscience is an angel on one shoulder and the little devil on the other sounds like Emmett… (oh and incase I didn't mention, Jasper's chore was to clean the windows)
-Lanna
