Title: A Faded Memory

Author: Devlyne (Originally published as BelleAngeli)

Published: 07-20-03 (Re-Post 9/15/2015)

Disclaimer: I do not own Labyrinth, Jareth or Sarah. Nor do I in any way resemble Jim Henson, The Jim Henson Company, Henson Creature Shop or Disney. Any recognizable quotes belong to the aforementioned.

A/N: Revision Completed 9/15/2015.


Chapter 2: The Dreams of Others


It was after two when Sarah returned to her apartment for the evening. There was nothing but an empty apartment waiting for her above. Sarah stood gazing up at the building long after the cab had driven away. There was a shift of Sarah's head so that her eyes could gaze down the darkened sidewalk to her left. Somewhere, beyond her vision, the walkway ended. It would be easy to just run away right now. The path to her left laid out before her in a way that was inviting. The darkness seemed to be begging Sarah to escape within it and just disappear. She could see herself doing exactly that. Her purse flung away as she escaped in the darkness and left all identity behind. The idea felt so much easier than facing what had happened earlier in the evening.

Instead, Sarah's footsteps echoed up the stairwell as she began the climb to her apartment on the twelfth floor. The elevator was taking far too long and the walk would give her time to clear her mind. She needed more time to rationalize what had happened. Had that been his big surprise? It had been a marriage proposal but not one much better than Jane Eyre had received from St John Rivers. Christopher was leaving New York to take a job in Washington D.C and he wanted her to join him. He accepted an invitation to join a law firm as a junior member which came with all sorts of great benefits. Sarah had asked him what opportunities he thought they might find for her in Washington. She had been both excited and curious about what might lay before her. The idea that newness and change might be coming to her life was thrilling. That was where it had all fallen apart.

Christopher had boasted that there would be no need for his wife to work while he was making so much money. Sarah could stay at home and keep house or whatever pursuits she might enjoy. After all, they would be having children together and their children would need a mother at home. The thought of being a kept woman made Sarah's stomach turn. No doubt there were women who would look forward to that lifestyle, but Sarah was not one of them. She needed an occupation and creativity to stimulate her mind. Children would be nice but did she have to give up her dreams just yet? Her foot caught and she stumbled sliding down half a flight of steps before catching herself.

"Oh, damn. . ."

Sarah turned herself to sit down on the step for a moment and rub at her left thigh. The fall had left a numbing pain and she would most likely bruise later. For a moment, as she'd been falling, Sarah thought she'd seen a figure standing above her on the landing. There was no one there and no one had come down to help her up. Her head turned enough to give a better view of the empty landing. The light in the stairwell was dim and except for the echo of her breathing, the stairwell was quiet. There were no footsteps echoing down to where she sat and Sarah chuckled at her own foolishness. One hand gripped the rail and she pulled herself to her feet and stood there a moment. It was a wish that someone had been there to catch her as she fell. Did she miss Chris that much already? Her cheeks flushed at that thought. What if she hadn't been hoping for Chris?

It's all in your head, Sarah. Jareth and the goblins, every bit of it. You just made it up, and got too into the stories. Ludo and Sir Didymus, they're all just part of your overactive imagination, aren't they, Sarah? Sarah, are you listening to me? Don't you see, Sarah, it's for your own good. You're living too much in these dreams, just let them go.

A familiar voice echoed through Sarah's thoughts; Dr. Thomas. Hadn't he told her that over and over again? Dr Thomas had taken every opportunity to remind Sarah that what she had seen that night was a dream. There were dreams that were so vivid they felt real and people immersed themselves in them. There was no Goblin King. She'd fallen asleep on her bed angry with her stepmother and father and dreamed the whole thing. Toby had been safe at home and the Labyrinth was just a story in a book. It had taken years but Sarah convinced herself that the doctor was right and had agreed to medication. For the last two years, she had spent every day downing those little white pills twice a day. No more hallucinations. She didn't hear Jareth's voice in her head. She didn't see Jareth in her dreams. And her imaginary friends didn't come out of the mirror to visit her anymore.

Sarah had managed to go to college and complete a degree. She had managed to find a decent paying job in the city working as a docent for the museum. She was well on her way to becoming the director for the children's day camp programs after just a few more years. Chris had come in to her life and other than The Room; her life had fallen in to place. Well, almost. It was just so boring and stagnant. There were days Sarah found it hard to get out of bed to face the world. The doctor had said that might be a side effect of the medication; just ignore it, let it go away.

A sigh escaped Sarah's lips; her purse had come undone and now its articles lay on steps at various heights. There was the tube of lipstick she'd found in just the right shade at Macy's. A tissue or two had come loose from the packet and lay on the next few steps above her and then her compact. Sarah's head canted as she gazed up at her compact sitting on the edge of the steps open. The mirror tilted at just the right angle so that Sarah was staring at herself in it; that was odd. It had landed in just such a way to give herself that perfect view of her own pale face.

Over and over, Sarah ran the scene through her mind. She had stumbled on a step and her purse had gone flying as she'd tried to grip the railing. The shoes had been too slick or her heel had caught and Sarah had gone sliding down the steps. That was all. It was not impossible that the compact had flown from her purse to the landing. Nor was it impossible that the compact's latch had broken and it had flown open. So why didn't she believe that? The idea that someone had positioned her compact in just that particular way now began to take root in her mind. Had she remembered to take her pills? The brief mental image of putting a small white pill between her lips was there and then gone. Yes, she had taken her pills. So why was she so frightened?

"Oh, come on Sarah, no one just laid your compact on the landing and ran away. You'd have heard them running up the steps or the door banging as they went out."

It was a foolish thought to have and Sarah berated herself for it. She snatched the compact up and stuffed it into her purse before starting up the stairs to finish her climb. Why was she acting like such a foolish child? She'd tripped and fallen. That was it. No one had been chasing her and there was no one stalking her in the stairwell. At least the hallways in the building were better lit than the stairwell had been. There were no shadows or monsters hiding here.

Down at the far end of the hallway, two of Sarah's neighbors stood talking over something. Neither neighbor glanced up at her as she dug the keys out and fidgeted to unlock the door. Her hands had begun shaking while in the stairwell. At last, the key slid in to place and the deadbolt gave a begrudging click which echoed through the hallway. Heedless, Sarah pushed in and closed the door a bit harder than she'd meant to, sliding the chain in place.

The light on her answering machine was flashing an ugly red. Chris had most likely called to continue their argument. Oh, right, he wanted to move to D.C. That was the part of the evening that had deteriorated. Her thoughts had now resumed their course from before the fall. They had fought about him moving to D.C. It was good money for Chris, yes, but what about what he had built here? If it didn't work out in a month or two, what would he do then? Then there was the issue of Sarah leaving her job to move with him and Chris expecting her to be a housewife.

The discussion had turned in to an argument and they'd had to leave the restaurant early. He had followed her out to the parking lot to continue the argument while Sarah waited for her cab. She'd asked the hostess to call one but cabs were never on time and for fifteen minutes they had stood arguing. He wanted her to just say yes and throw caution to the wind. Sarah didn't want to throw caution to the wind. It was a blow to realize that the warm, happy feelings of earlier were gone. Not that being a housewife and mother was bad but did he not understand that she had her own dreams?

It was anger speaking. Sarah recognized that she was angry with him for trying to force the decision on her. After she'd had a bit of sleep and thought through everything, it would look different. In the morning, she would call him and say that she was sorry they'd fought. The rewind button hit on the machine so that the message would play while she slipped out of her heels. Chris' voice echoed through the apartment as he asked her to just give him a call back and to please think it over. He sounded so heartbroken but Sarah found that she felt nothing.

"Sarah, it's Chris. I am sorry I yelled at you. It's a big decision, I know, but please at least think it over. If your answer is yes, just give me a call. If not, well, as hard as it is for me to say...I don't think we should see each other anymore. I plan on being in D.C. in two weeks so there's no point in dragging this out if the answer is no."

The feet of Sarah's vanity chair dragged across the carpet as she drew it in to place. The call sounded so much like an ultimatum that all thought of calling and apologizing left her mind. With a heavy sigh, she found her comb and began to untangle pins from her long hair, brushing it out. She hadn't changed much over the years from teenager to adult. She'd always been pretty, awkward, but pretty just the same. There was that sharpness that most adults seem to get when they were somewhat pudgy teens. Not being able to be outdoors as much had made Sarah's skin fair and that had darkened the color of her hair. There was a ripple across the surface of the mirror before her and Sarah's heart stilled. No, the ripple was not her imagination for once. Her tears caught on her lashes before sliding down her cheeks.

If she felt nothing about Chris' demands, why were there tears? What was the crushing pain that Sarah felt settle over her heart and chest? She could not explain it to herself for a moment. He had made his demands and she had only to consider what she might be losing or gaining in agreeing with him. If the price was too high to pay, then there was no point in paying it. Loss; Sarah felt loss and it was an unsettling feeling because it meant that she had made her choice. Chris would be going to D.C. alone.

One hand lifted to brush those tears away and Sarah found herself staring into the depths of the mirror. Once she'd believed that there was another world beyond the mirror much like Alice and her looking glass. Now the mirror only reflected the contents of her bedroom. Sarah's eyes closed and her reflection turned inward for a moment.