-Rated R for- Drama, Language, Slash, Sexual Content
-Spoilers- All five books.
-Summery- This is a Harry/Draco fic that happens in the sixth year. Draco finds out that sometimes feelings are mixed up.
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Hidden Desire
Chapter 2
Your Essence Is Sickening
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Everyone arrived at Hogwarts with high spirits. Everyone except for Harry and Draco. Harry kept replaying what had happened to him to earlier. He just couldn't get over the fact that Draco had kissed him. He never had expected that a boy would kiss him, especially one that hated him so much. But why? Why, Harry thought, did Draco kiss him? Draco's parents would definitely not have approved of that action. There had to be something behind Draco's actions. He just couldn't figure it out.
They entered the Great Hall before Harry even realized that they had been inside of the school. Everyone bustled over to their tables sitting down and began talking to one another. Soon the sorting started and was already over before he had even realized it. Dumbledore gave one of his usual speeches. It was clear that Dumbledore's age was really catching up to him. The sight of him almost made Harry forget about Draco for a while.
Hermione nudged Harry hard in the arm and he turned to her and said, "Ow! What?"
She whispered to him, "Harry, Malfoy is staring at you really hard. Bet he's up to something." Malfoy was the only person that Hermione never made excuses for. It was clear that she truly hated him. Though not even as much as Ron hated the Slytherin boy. Ron despised every little bit of Draco and he had reason to. Draco had always been so cruel to him.
Ron wasn't going to worry about any of Draco's taunts though. He probably couldn't care less because he was now the Captain of the Quidditch team. It wasn't something anyone really expected, but regardless, it happened. Harry couldn't help but to smile every time Ron started talking about how great Quidditch was going to be this year. Yet secretly, Harry wondered why he had not been made Quidditch Captain. He was just as good as Ron, but even better. With him as the seeker they almost always won. Ron was sloppy. Harry couldn't help but to be envious.
But Harry knew that there was some reasoning for this. There had to be. He was lost in thought and forgot all about the kiss.
-
Draco sat there with a blank look on his face as he ate. He still felt like throwing up everywhere. It was so sickening. He nearly choked on a piece of chicken when Harry had glanced over at him. Why the hell was Harry looking at him? What if people noticed? He tried not to feel so paranoid, but he couldn't help it. He had replayed the kiss he had planted on Harry's beautiful lips hundreds, if not thousands, of times! No! Not Harry's beautiful lips. Just Harry's lips. There was nothing beautiful about Harry. Nothing! He tried to tell himself this over and over again yet it just wouldn't stick. There was something addictive about Harry Potter and he had to find out what exactly it was.
He then played words in his head that his mother had said to him days before he was going to go to Hogwarts. He had gotten into a bad fight with Pansy and sworn that he hated her and his mother told him, "Sometimes, you'll find love in those who you believe that you hate." That bitch had cursed him! But she wouldn't have known that he was going to turn around and kiss Harry Potter. And how could he have been cursed? She didn't do any kind of incantation or spell.
He felt so upset that he got up from the table before dinner was even over and headed to the Slytherin Common Room. Then he realized he didn't know what the password was so he would just have to wait until somebody who did came.
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The Gryffindors entered the Gryffindor tower excitedly. Harry headed straight up to the boys dorm he shared with Ron, Neville, Seamus, and Dean. He sat down on his four poster bed thinking to himself. He had remembered Malfoy's kiss again. It was like the kiss of death. Why was it bothering him so much?
Just then Ron entered chatting happily with Neville about Quidditch. "Woah Ron! Being Quidditch Captain is awesome! I wish I could play!" Neville piped excitedly. At this Ron grinned.
"It is pretty cool," replied Ron. Harry could see the proud look on his face. It made Harry even more sick.
Harry quickly closed his four poster and laid down. Before he knew it was drifting off into an uneasy sleep.
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Draco sat inside the Slytherin Common Room. People had come along that had known the Slytherin password, so he eventually got in. "Are you okay?" asked Crabbe who was chewing on something he and Goyle had taken from dinner.
"Yeah, cause your are lookin' sort of sick," asked Goyle who was eating a cupcake.
"I'm fine damn it! What the hell makes you think there is something the matter with me? I'm perfectly happy, you idiots!" snapped Draco angrily.
"Aw, Draco! It's just you've been such a good friend to us we always wanna help you out! Here, have a cupcake!" said Crabbe stupidly.
Draco threw the cupcake at the wall then stormed off into the dorm. He laid down on his four poster bed storming. Everyone wanted to baby him always. He was fine.
He stared blankly ahead. Tomorrow he had potions class. He would be seeing Harry then. Would Harry try to talk to him? No, Harry wouldn't dare speak of the kiss in front of other students and especially in front of Professor Snape. Just the thought of it embarrassed Draco even more. How could he have done such a foolish thing?
He didn't care about Harry Potter. Why in the world would he? This was the boy that helped make his father go to Azkaban. Harry Potter was Dumbledore's pet. No, he didn't care anything about Harry Potter.
He fell asleep.
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Harry awoke the next morning realizing that he had fallen asleep with his clothes from yesterday still on. He got up and changed and looked around. He was surprised to see the other boys were already gone. He wondered if he had overslept.
He headed down to breakfast and entered the Great Hall looking around. Spotting Ron and Hermione he went over to them smiling and sat down. "Hey Harry," said Ron eating toast.
"At first I thought I overslept," replied Harry who grabbed a muffin and started spreading butter on it.
"Naw," said Ron, "Hey, Quidditch practice is going to start really soon, Harry! Can't wait right?"
Harry tried not to sneer and faked a smile saying, "Sounds great."
"Imagine that," said Hermione looking at Harry, "It's shameful really. School just started and there are already rumors floating around about you." To her surprise Harry looked alarmed.
He dropped his muffin and looked at her questioningly. "What rumors?" he asked trying not to look so terrified.
"People saying that you broke up with Cho because you've found someone new. It's really quite preposterous," replied the bushy haired girl eating some bacon.
Harry raised his eyebrow. What a stupid rumor. Who would he have found that he liked better than Cho? Definitely not Draco. That's the last person he'd ever choose. "Oh well," he said calming himself, "Nobody believes that rubbish anyway."
"Oh yes they do," replied Hermione, "All the girls have been talking about it. They're saying Harry is a free man." She winked.
Harry couldn't stop himself from turning a bright shade of pink. Both Ron and Hermione laughed.
"Shit!" cried out Ron, "We have potions first today. That's just our luck. Having to see Snape and the Slytherins first in the morning." Harry made an odd squeaking noise. Ron looked at him saying, "I know! It's murder." Harry nodded hastily.
First period with Slytherins. Just his luck. He had nothing better to do after breakfast so he decided to go early.
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Draco drank down his tea and ate in a hurry. He wasn't sure why he was eating so fast but he felt oddly nervous and excited over Potions class. He was going to have to see Harry.
Getting up he headed straight to Potions alone. Up ahead of him he saw a boy his height with jet black hair. At the sight of the other boy, Draco dropped his bag scattering random items that were inside. He looked up nervously to see if Harry had heard.
Just then Harry turned around and looked at Draco. They made eye contact for a burning moment that seemed to last an eternity. Draco couldn't help but to grin but he hid his face under his silvery blonde hair that had lost it's usual slicked back style. Instead it was collapsed in his face looking scattered and quite messy but gave his appearance a more striking look in the sunlight.
Harry looked around then turned and walked towards Draco. He kneeled down facing Draco and said, "This is a good time to talk. Nobody is around.. Now would you explain why you.."
But he was cut off by Draco who quickly began to talk, "Please, don't mention anything now. Somebody could be listening. Can't we just talk later?" He looked at Harry with desperation. He couldn't help but to admire the thoughtful look upon Harry's face. He always admired Harry; or at least he felt like he had always done so.
Harry nodded and looked around. He was so angry at Draco. He didn't feel like having to wait for Draco's stupid explanation which would probably be a lie anyway. But he had to hear something that might be a little more comforting.
"Listen," said Draco, "We'll talk after dinner tonight, I swear."
Harry cocked his head to the side and looked at Draco. It was a different look than he had ever given the boy. "No snide remarks?" he asked uncertainly.
"Potter, don't be a such git," said Draco as he shook his head and he picked up one of his books that had fallen and returned it to his bag.
"Really Malfoy, what has come over you lately?" asked Harry frowning.
"It's none of your damn business," replied Draco looking up at Harry. He made eye contact with him again. It was almost painful and pleasurable. He felt like kissing the Gryffindor boy again but tried to restrain himself. "Just get out of here," he said in a pained voice.
Harry got up without comment and walked off.
Draco loved the way he walked.
-
Harry's curiousity was building. He was almost starting to look forward to the thought of talking to Draco after dinner. Before he knew it, he was in the Potions class and it was already over. They were heading to History of Magic classes with Professor Binns.
Hermione kept saying something to Harry but he just nodded not paying attention. They found their seats as Professor Binns proceeded in telling them some boring story about the Rebellion of Witches in 1886 when Bertha Gobblestone decided that she wasn't being paid enough for her services at the Ministry. Frankly, Harry didn't care one bit about this. The only thing that mattered was that he was going to find out why in the world Draco had kissed him. It was the most important thing. Just then Hermione nudged Harry hard in the ribs, like she had done before and whispered, "I've been trying to tell you for ages that Cho wants you to meet her after dinner!"
"What?" asked Harry surprised, "After dinner?"
"That's what I said," she said in an exasperated voice.
"But," replied Harry as softly as possible, "But, I can't."
"I'm not going to be your messenger service all the time. Tell her that yourself."
Cho would not like this.
The End of Chapter 2
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