This is gonna be shorter than the previous drabble but whatever. Remember, this series of one-shots is not just sunshine and rainbows. There will also be some depressing stuff. I think that this drabble is a bit similar to the previous one but it has a VERY different atmosphere.
Don't worry, I've taken note of any requests. I just need time to think.
Disclaimer before still applies.
Warning, if you're very sensitive, I suggest having a pack of tissue papers by your side. (I actually felt like crying while writing this... ;~;)
~NBNL~
Title: I'm Sorry
Summary: He had a bad dream – no, it was a nightmare. What if Aoba failed in using Scrap on him? The thought scared him so much that it made him shed his first tears. "I-I assaulted Aoba…" "Shh… It's okay…"
He wanted to stop but he could not. His body was moving on its own. He wanted to respond properly to all those cries and tears but the animal inside him was too furious to abide to anything else. Aoba had never regarded him as something like a beast, not even now. Aoba still clung on to the desperate thought that he could still reach out to Ren. Ren wanted to cry but he could not. He wanted to reach out to Aoba's voice but he could not. He wanted to stop hurting Aoba. He tried to call out for Aoba but the beast within him was louder. He kept on tearing Aoba apart. He kept on biting Aoba to the point where his bones were visible. He scratched Aoba everywhere. He pulled on Aoba's sensitive hair, making the pain even more unbearable. He constantly raped Aoba, not giving him the slightest break.
Ren was broken beyond repair and he wanted the same to happen to Aoba.
But he truly did not want to do that. In fact he could not. It made him cry out on the inside that Aoba refused to be broken in hopes that Ren would hear him call out his name.
It was futile.
They wanted it to all stop. He wanted it to all stop.
"R-Ren! Please stop! I'm s-sorry…"
"!..."
Ren shot out of bed, panting and covered in sweat. He held a hand over where his heart was in hopes to calm down its rapid beating. The dream felt so real to him. He could still hear Aoba's desperate pleas ring in his ears. He quickly took off his shirt and scanned his whole body, just to be sure that he really was having a nightmare. He breathed a sigh of relief upon noticing the absence of the tattoos and the fur on his hands.
Still, knowing that did little to calm him. He hesitated to even blink, afraid that what occurred in his nightmare might become a reality. How could that ever happen? They were in a black abyss, having absolutely nothing around them except the nonexistent floor. There were no lights or shadows. Everything was pitch black. It did not seem like the real world. A thought occurred to Ren; is that what would happen if Aoba failed to use Scrap on him? Would he become that animal – that beast in his nightmare and continue hurting Aoba without a second thought?
He did not want that. He would not dare hurt Aoba or make him uncomfortable in any way possible. He tried desperately not to think about it anymore but it was like a plague in his mind. He tried to get rid of it but it just kept spreading, making him have thoughts about what else could have possibly happened if Aoba failed to use Scrap on him.
He did not want to think about it anymore but he could not stop. These thoughts made him shiver in terror, causing his eyes to water uncontrollably. He hugged his knees close to his chest and buried his face in them, hoping that the deranged world in his nightmare would never exist.
"Ren? Are you awake? The bath is free so now you can-"
When Aoba entered the room, what he saw made him forget about everything else except his precious companion on their bed. The towel in his hand slipped out of his grip as he rushed to Ren's side, wanting to know what happened to him but stopped himself from asking.
Tears were spilling from Ren's eyes. Never in Aoba's life has he actually seen Ren cry. It felt contagious. The fact that his companion was crying made him want to shed tears too. In hopes to comfort Ren, Aoba wrapped his arms around him tightly.
Ren's shoulders jerked in surprise, having not realised another person's presence in the room. When he took in the familiar scent of his partner, it made him want to cry harder. The space seemed so suffocating that he just wanted to run away. He wanted to get away from Aoba because he thought he might hurt Aoba if he stayed with him any longer. Having this in mind, he started to push Aoba away from him.
Aoba was quite surprised to feel Ren attempting to push him away. A memory was then remembered - the time when Ren was still an Allmate. The first time Ren pushed him away when they bumped their foreheads together. He did not want that to happen. He would not let Ren push him away. Aoba was stubborn and he was going to prove that by sticking to Ren for as long as he could.
Aoba still kept his arms around Ren, trying not to get discouraged. This made Ren a bit angry, so he pushed with a bit more force. Aoba wanted to cry harder because of this but it only made him more determined to stay by Ren.
"Get away from me…" Ren muttered, barely audible enough to hear.
"I'm not letting you go Ren!" Aoba barely managed to shout out between his sobs.
Ren gritted his teeth in frustration and tried to push away Aoba with even more force.
"I said get away from me!" Ren cried out, his voice, laced with fear and anger, cracking.
"Never!" Aoba yelled, still determined despite his heart feeling like it was being broken.
Finally at his limit, Ren shoved away Aoba with enough force that sent his back crashing into the side of the table. Aoba winced from the pain, trying his best to get up and reach out to Ren despite how much his back protested. Still, the pain was too great for him to handle and all he could manage was to lie down on the ground, holding his back.
When Ren noticed the lack of arms around him and the sound of crashing, he stopped sobbing. His eyes were still full of tears and he took note that his arm was outstretched. He turned his head to where the crashing sound came from and his breath got caught in his throat.
Aoba was on the ground, groaning in pain. Did he do that? Did he actually hurt Aoba? The sight made him tremble, determined to get away. He crawled back but his back hit the wall behind him.
This was his fault, was it not? He hurt his Aoba even though he promised himself to never hurt Aoba ever again. This only proved how he did not deserve Aoba, right? These thoughts spread through Ren's mind to the point where he could not take it. He screamed out and started to wail all over again, holding his head down in utter terror.
Ren's cry made Aoba flinch but he did not let that stop him. With much more determination, Aoba did his very best and crawled to the bed, where Ren sat, utterly terrified. Aoba ignored the growing pain in his back, absolutely set on comforting Ren like his life really depended on it.
Ren did not react even though Aoba was right in front of him. Using Ren's unawareness to his advantage, Aoba took hold of Ren's face and made his partner face him straight in the eye. Aoba did his best to keep his face to look as serious as possible and not be fazed by Ren's tear-stained face. Before Ren had the chance to push Aoba away again, Aoba gently brought his lips to Ren's forehead, kissing it.
That one action immediately stopped the tremors in Ren's body and the tears stopped flowing, his eyes widened. The feel of Aoba's lips on his forehead was only for a short moment but it held so much meaning in it.
'I won't give up.'
'I'll never leave you Ren.'
'I trust you.'
'I'll always love you.'
Those were all the unspoken words that Ren felt when Aoba kissed him.
It made him want to cry all over again.
It made him happy.
Overcome with so many emotions, Ren pulled Aoba into a tight hug, wanting to never let him go. He buried his face into Aoba's shoulder determined to always remember his scent so that he would always know where he was.
Aoba returned the embrace, a small smile gracing his lips as he stroked Ren's back. Ren cried for awhile but Aoba did not mind. As long as Ren stayed with him, everything was alright.
A few minutes passed before Ren's sobs finally turned into hiccups. It was somewhat scary to know that Aoba would always stay with him, just like how it had been in his nightmare. However, knowing that also made Ren to be filled with joy.
"I- I'm sorry, Aoba…" Ren choked out, hiccupping between his words.
"Shh… It's okay… " Aoba comforted, stroking Ren's back again.
"W-Would Aoba stay with me n-no matter wh-what?"
"Heh… Ren, I truly, madly, deeply love you. I love you too much to even think about leaving your side."
I hope that all of you have enjoyed reading that in some way! I thought of something along the lines of, "What if Ren knew what could possibly happen if Aoba failed to use Scrap?" So, there you have it!
P.S. I can never bring myself to keep on looking at the screen while I watch Ren's bad ending. It's just so terrifying for me. Oh, and virtual cookies for anyone who knows the reference from the last sentence.
Like it? Love it? Hate it? Just review your opinions! However, it would be nice if you criticize my work without being harsh. If you'd like, I could possibly take requests too! Just PM me! ^^
Thank you for reading!~
