Last November
(A/N) I'd like to thank Rinnerd for being my first commenter, thank you! I can't really answer your question until it's revealed but thank you very much for the compliments, I'm glad this was enjoyable!
Anyways, please enjoy!
Last November
Chapter 1
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Fragment of a Memory
I opened my eyes groggily, I could hear another pebble smack against my bedroom window, I growled in annoyance, unlike some people I chose to continue my schooling. I sighed in defeat before sitting up in my bed, the sheets falling from my formally cocooned body, I stalked over to my window and glared out to see who it was keeping me from my much needed sleep. I watched intently finally noticing a head of dark pink hair. Luka.
She made motions with her hands, she was telling me to open the window. I did as she requested only for her to immediately began yelling obscenities up to me. "Rin!? Open the damn door, I need to get in!" I rolled my eyes, she'd said that last time and the time before that, and with each unexpected visit she'd steal a good amount of possessions. Last time it was my grandmother's favorite china, all of which was worth over a hundred dollars.
"Go home Luka, we have schoo—" She began to chuckle as if my statement was irrelevant and rather childish, Luka was two years older than me, and was a second year senior. "Just go home, I, have school tomorrow."
"I don't care, you know I have stomach problems…" She began, her long time story was obviously fabricated but I did little to stop her, I simply nodded my head of flaxen hair, glaringly. I could see it in her once crystal blue eyes, they were hard and in someway beady and untrusting, it would have frightened the old Rin, but at this point I assumed it to be normal, my new reality.
"Get the fuck off my property before I call the fucking police Merguine." I let out coolly, I never raised my voice at my friends, I never bothered to raise my voice at anyone, and this was no exception. Luka simply scoffed and spit into a nearby shrubbery before disappearing amongst the shadows from whence she had come. "Druggie." I hated to use fowl words, that part of me would always stick but, in this instance, in this one unadulterated instance I saw no other choice. I walked back over to my bed and made myself comfortable, I really hoped that Miku was still asleep, because I was sure if she'd heard me she'd cause a conundrum of problems that I didn't need at five in the morning.
I sat in my bed, my head against the warm pillow, my body situated like a starfish, legs outstretched, hands unclenched. I felt a sense of dread over pass me, I wanted to throw up, those emotions I was able to catch at the worst of times. "Rin wants to throw up. Please let Rin throw up." I spoke to myself in third person; it made it feel less personal, as if this wasn't my problem and I was a person looking in.
I hadn't eaten much this Sunday, I didn't feel the need to nor did I want to. Food was becoming less and less of a necessity in the coming weeks, sure, I had money to buy as much as the two of us needed but if anything Miku seemed to be the only one eating much of anything.
I sighed.
There was nothing to let out, I'd only upheave and most likely cause myself to pass out by the toilet. I didn't want to miss anymore days of school but at the same time I didn't see much reason to try and go anymore, everyone I looked forward to seeing had either stopped bothering to come or…,,
Never mind, if I kept this up I'd catch emotions again.
I hated emotions they made me feel human—human, what a silly phrase, to feel human? Either you were or you weren't there was no in between.
Nothing could call homage to this, not yet at least.
I tapped my pen against the old oak wood of my desk, actually, I thought of it more as plastic if anything, it looked and felt too fake to be anything else. I leaned into my seat and tried my best to stay awake; it was only 9:07 yet here I was already complaining about the day ahead. It was a hot June 18th, a day I'd most likely forget by next week. Wasn't that weird? How easily humans were able to forget things at the drop of a hat, if I really wanted it to disappear it would.
Yet, other days we'd remember for an eternity, days that would go down in our minds as a day of remembrance, the real question is, why? Why did this happen? What deity would force something so evil as memory onto us? Memories and then fragments of moments? An angry deity, that's what. Someone who liked to see us all suffer in the midst of this temporary delusion that is life, something that wanted to play on our fears and destroy all that we loved with one fowl swoop.
Death.
Death was an escape, one that was final, that everyone had to endure. I bet it was a lonely experience; you were all alone in a furnace, one that would destroy every inch of you, one that would literally wipe your very existence in mere hours. Someone with sixty years, sixty years of memories and fragments of moments—gone.
I wanted to be immortal. I want to live forever. It's selfish I know, but I can't help it, it's only human nature—right? I was programed to wish for the impossible—right?
"—Akita?" I looked up to my teacher who was calmly glaring over to me, his face was hard and aged despite only being in his mid thirties, half way there. Halfway through this truly meaningless existence. What a droll sense of empathy.
Perhaps we're failed creations.
"Yes sir?" I questioned, my zealous eyes dark and unreadable, my lips fanned in a deep crease upon my proclein skin. "What is it?" My classmates stayed silent, my teachers gaze backing down at my reliance—weak, he was weak.
"Could you please answer the next question." I did so before he could even finish, sitting back down in my seat, head down on my cool desk. Pointless, this was all trivial and rather pointless. I let my gaze glance out the nearby window, my corner of seclusion going back into hiding as he asked another question to some other naive being.
The day waned on as usual, my classes seemed to whip passed me, some longer than others and some shorter, my lunch period was a peculiar one, Kaito had decided to show up today, I was sure it was to cause trouble. He'd brought in a box filled with rats of all sorts, large ones, small ones, fat ones, thin ones, all of which were filled with blood lust. I was sure he'd unleash them on campus, it was odd in a sense, he'd been deathly afraid of animals all together a few short months ago yet here he was, his own bare hands covered in filth, he'd hand picked these creatures.
"You should go home after sixth period." He stated, his eyes held a certain look that could only be described as crazed. A smile stretched across his peach cheeks. "Unless you want rabies." I sighed and stood up, throwing my juice box away, orange splash was possibly the only thing I could stomach.
"I'll be heading out now," I picked up my satchel and left the bench we were sitting at, Kaito simply waved over to me happily—a cruel happiness that could only be seen as cynical. "I'll see you when I see you." I feared this Kaito, he was an odd young man, some days you'd swear he was just as sane as he was before, kind hearted, soft cheeked, relatively a well rounded person—aside for his odd necessity for ice cream. Other times he was someone else, someone who you couldn't quiet read to a full extent, you never knew what he would do next, which, of course I didn't like. I always made sure to read people before engaging in some sort of relation with them.
Of course, it was all an act, his kind-hearted nature was never there, it was a lot to swallow but it was obvious that he was sleezeball beforehand. He was the best actor I'd ever met; he'd been playing his part to perfection for a decade. I admired that about him.
I wouldn't say I was particularly fond of this type of character although I'd stifled a slight crush on him, that would never leave, especially on those few peculiar nights we'd shared together, ones I wouldn't be able to forget, damn those memories, damn those fragments of heated lust.
It was more of an infatuation, never truly a love—love, I was sure that was an emotion that neither of us could really understand. Besides, his most favorite toy, a naïve toy that had never experienced the pleasures of the night was Miku Hatsune, a girl who never seemed to grow up, or was on par with Kaito on acting tactics. I knew he loathed how able she was at bending him to her demand; never once had she said a kind word to him, in either format, not once. Perhaps that's what drew him to her and him from me, I paid heed to him and spoke with him, I had become entranced into his charms like many other girls, Miku on the other hand, had not.
She was a challenge of sorts I suppose.
Heh, boys will be boys.
I lingered on campus for a few more hours, I was stopped by some English teacher who I snapped at, she in turn said she'd report me, they called my name down but I never came forth. Someone had pulled the fire alarm; Kaito must have let the rodents lose in the upper floors because at first only third years had evacuated and then second, and finally first. By the time the last student had exited the school building I'd started the short walk back to Miku and I's humble abode, Kaito was no where to be found, his dyed blue hair would usually shine amongst the natural brunettes and black heads, even amongst the few gingers and blonds. "Coward." I spat out; my disinterested eyes surveyed those about the streets of the Japanese providence I called home.
I walked passed a few grey buildings, one after the next they seemed to become a reoccurring force until a pleasant brick building caught my attention, I stared at it for a few moments as those damned memories appeared in my mind, like a video of a past life, one that I endured with great fondness. I had caught feelings again, "Rin has caught feelings again." I repeated out loud, people around me stared but didn't say anything. "Why is it that Rin must have emotions?" I asked once more, no one answered me and I sighed. I'm sure once in everyone's life they ask the same question, I simply wished to lose them at some point, I just wanted everything to go back to how it was or for my wish to come true.
I quickly speed walked passed it, my heart beat increasing inevitably, my intake of breath turned into gasps until I turned the corner, my apartment in sight. This was a daily occurrence, I'd pass that cursed building and everything would be thrust at me once more, and I hated it, that was one of the only things I could truly say I hated it. I hated being humane. I just wished that I could scream to the heavens and let out all my distressed issues of young adult life as well as my rather….dark thoughts, it was odd, once they'd started they wouldn't stop so I lived with it.
I did my usual greeting to Miku, as expected she was asleep. I threw my satchel onto the small love seat and lay besides it, my eyes growing heavy and my breathing growing weaker and weaker; I closed myself and allowed my subconscious to be engulfed into my bleak, empty dreams.
A few hours later I heard the unlocking of my door, it faintly sounded like the picking of a lock but I ignored it, a feeling of grogginess surpassing my own freewill once again. I watched as it opened, it was Kaito, twice in one day? Was it my birthday? I calmly receded into the couch as he stalked closer, his filled eyes with libido. I didn't say anything as he pushed me back down into the pleather of the couch, and instead gave myself to him.
I never made a peep, not once, nor had I contorted my face during these sessions. I didn't much care, It wasn't like I was cheating, right?
End of chapter
I hope this chapter gave some insight into Rin and her day to day life, as of now. I'll try and update regularly, perhaps once or twice a week? I think I like that idea. Amway's, please, favorite, comment, and follow or future chapters. Thank you for reading!
