Chapter Two
The Frozen Yogurt Topping Inquiry
Sheldon lay in his bed, feeling like his heart was going to explode at any minute. Sleep eluded him all night, and now the Sunday morning sun began to peek in through his shades. He felt more lost than ever before, even when he struggled with his research. Amy broke up with him. He couldn't even fathom what to do next. He replayed their conversation over and over in his head.
She claimed he was challenging. Didn't she realize how much he tried? Didn't she realize how much he loved her, needed her beside him? She simply made his life better, and he began considering things he hadn't before, like intimacy and even marriage. He went to the jewelry store only a few weeks before, after their enjoyable evening together in the fort, to purchase the ring. He didn't know how or when he was going to ask, but he knew he wanted to…
Sheldon flopped over on his side and punched his fist into the bed. That was his problem – he wanted to do all these things, but remained unmoving, stubbornness born out of fear. Amy terrified him. He functioned best in routine, and she broke that routine. He found himself thinking of her when he should be thinking about his work. Goodness, he found himself dreaming about her, sometimes sweet dreams filled with her voice and her smile and games of counterfactuals, and other dreams more graphic and physical, causing him to wake up drenched in sweat wondering why he didn't just head over to her apartment and have his way with her.
And why didn't he further their intimacy? He knew she wanted it. He wanted it. His body kept reminding him he wanted it. He found himself needing release more often, especially after spending time with Amy. Sometimes, embarrassing physical responses would occur when she was present, so he would quickly cloud his mind with other thoughts to avoid revealing how he felt. Hence his ridiculous Flash statement. And now he would never be able to watch the show because he would forever be reminded of his actions.
His over-analysis of coitus held him back. He knew this, but somehow could not control his thoughts or feelings on the matter. Would he be any good? What about the germs? What would happen after? So he did nothing. The comfort in routine overrode his desires
Good Lord, she was patient. He knew that. And he took advantage of it. And now she was gone.
He quietly slipped out of bed and went about his morning routines. He glanced out the window at the beautiful weather, briefly pondering a walk, before closing all the shades. He brought out his box set of Batman, The Animated Series, a favorite from his childhood, and started with episode one. He spent the entire day in his spot, staring at the television, only getting up for food and bathrooms breaks, or to change the disk. He looked at the show, but didn't watch, his mind churning with thoughts, wondering if he was even capable of giving Amy the life she deserved. Maybe she would be better off without him. Despair enveloped him as he began to realize he might not be able to change, that he may not ever be the man she needed and deserved.
Monday and Tuesday went by quickly for Amy. The new summer graduate interns arrived, and she spent most of the day going over procedures with the enthusiastic students. She even ate lunch with them, reveling in their excitement about working on her newest addiction study, fielding dozens of questions her way. She met with her department head to discuss a graduate level neurobiology class for the fall. Everything went well, and she hardly had time to consider her situation with Sheldon until she came home to her dark, empty apartment. Both nights she sat at the table, making lists of what she wanted out of their relationship, questions she wanted to ask him. One big question she kept considering was whether or not Sheldon loved her as more than a friend. Maybe that's what held him back. Most of the time, he treated her like his other friends; maybe he simply loved her in the way he loved Leonard and Penny. If that was the case, she had a lot to consider. She wanted a romantic relationship, not a friendship.
Driving home Wednesday afternoon, contemplating another evening of relationship analysis, she suddenly felt the urge to process her thoughts aloud. She sat in her parked car for a moment, wondering who she could talk to about the situation. She got out of the car and headed to her building, pausing on the second floor in front of Erik's apartment. Before she knew what she was doing, she had knocked on his door.
She could hear the sound of some televised sporting event through the door, and suddenly, she was looking up into his smiling face, now clean shaven. He wore jeans and a basketball jersey over a white t-shirt, looking relaxed and casual.
"Hey Amy," he said. "What's up?"
"Well," she bumbled, suddenly unsure of what to say. Why had she stopped here? It's like she was simply drawn to his door. Might as well speak the truth.
"You okay?" Erik asked, looking concerned.
"Yes, well, you see, I need some help. Nothing urgent. Just someone to talk to about a situation in my life. And I felt we had a connection the other day," she stammered.
"I thought that too. I'd be happy to help you, anyway I can. I owe you for rescuing my dog," he said. "Want to come in to watch the playoffs and talk?"
Did he just invite her into his apartment? Amy suddenly felt her heart racing, unsure how to respond.
"Actually, how about we go to the frozen yogurt place next door. My treat, for listening to my problem," she said, and then immediately realizing he might care about the game.
But he was grabbing his keys and stepping into the hall.
"I'm never one to pass up fro yo. And my team is out anyways. First round. But one of these years, Portland will make it. Just a lot of late season injuries," he said as they walked down the stairs. "So, what's bothering you?"
"I need a new perspective on the situation with my boyfriend," she said.
"Boyfriend?" Erik asked.
Was that disappointment in his voice? Amy again felt her heart racing. What was wrong with her? This was a bad idea.
"Yes, for five years, but I just called a time out in the relationship," she replied.
"Oh," he simply said, sounding intrigued. "Well, I'm here to listen."
As they walked to the frozen yogurt shop, Amy began telling the story of her and Sheldon. She told Erik everything, only leaving out the details of her rather embarrassing attempts towards intimacy.
As they got their treats, she paused the story as she watched Erik scoop four spoonfuls of Nerds candies onto his vanilla yogurt. He looked up to see her amused face.
"I like the sweet and tart," he said, in a jokingly defensive tone. "Don't judge."
"Not me," she said, looking at her chocolate yogurt covered with frosted animal cookies.
After taking a seat, Amy finished her story, with Erik asking a few clarifying questions. She felt good getting it all out there.
"Well, can I be quite blunt with you?" Erik asked.
"Please."
"Sheldon sounds like an idiot," Erik replied. "You're the complete package. You have a great job, you're super smart, you're adorable, and you can tackle running terriers in a single bound."
Amy felt her face redden and glanced up at Erik, who was looking at his dessert, mixing the Nerds into the yogurt, completely oblivious he had just given Amy an amazing complement. Her heart rate rose again, and she tried to gather herself back together.
"Thank you, Erik. That's very nice of you to say," she said quietly.
"Listen, I'm probably the last person you want to get relationship advice from," he said, meeting her eyes with a sad look.
"Why?"
"Well, considering I haven't been in a relationship in over ten years. I'm severely out of practice," he replied.
Amy couldn't believe it. Erik was so handsome and kind.
"Why?" she asked again.
Erik shifted uncomfortably and looked at her again,
"Well, since we're both sharing, I was engaged to my high school sweetheart. I was working my way through college while she decided to join the Army. Her family has a strong military background. She was on her second tour in Afghanistan when it happened. Helicopter shot down. She was going to attend medical school when she returned. We were going to get married." He paused. "She already had the dress."
Amy sat, in shock. Erik continued to stir his yogurt in silence, his light attitude suddenly gone. Amy felt all her problems with Sheldon seemed ridiculously benign. She instinctively placed her hand on Erik's.
"I'm so sorry," she said.
"Thank you," he smiled sadly at her. "I've gotten help. I've processed things. Freelancing, especially with the global assignments National Geographic offered, helped me move on."
They sat eating in silence. Amy finally spoke up.
"Okay, so now I feel silly spilling my problem to you."
"Don't be. That's what friends are for," he said, his voice lightening a bit. "Listen, it sounds like Sheldon needs time to process things. I don't think that's a problem. Maybe e-mail him those questions you have. That might allow him time to think and come up with a response. Then he might not feel like you are attacking him."
Amy thought through Erik's suggestion. That might work. She would compose an e-mail this evening, but let it sit until Friday, giving her a chance to mull things over.
"That's a really good idea. I think it will work. Thank you so much," Amy said.
Erik disposed of their trash, and they began the walk back to the apartment. The talked about their work weeks so far, and before Amy knew it, she was once again standing at his door. He unlocked the door and greeted Honeybee, who seemed more interested in Amy.
"If you have a moment, I would like to show you my primate portfolio," Erik said.
"Okay," Amy said, stepping into his living room without hesitation this time. His apartment was sparsely furnished, clean, with the walls covered with all manner of framed photographs. Volcanoes, animals, and people from all over the world looked back at her. Erik paused by the television he had left on, looking at the score of the basketball game, before walking over to a bookshelf and pulling out a large photo album. He turned the game to mute and guided Amy to the kitchen table.
"This is the chimpanzee study I did," he said, opening the book. "They were my favorite animals to photograph. I took hundreds of pictures, but National Geographic only used two. Still, I had an amazing experience those three weeks."
Amy spent the next several minutes pouring over the astounding photography. Erik had focused on a family of chimps, and the photos captured their interactions and feelings beautifully. Towards the end of the album, Amy paused at a picture of an older female chimp sitting beside a small creek. The sun shined through the foliage, lighting the animal in an almost surreal way. Amy felt her breath taken away.
"This is so beautiful," she said.
"That was Patricia, the family matriarch. She was amazing, the way she cared for others. I enjoyed shooting her the best. She had such a sweet, loving disposition. I was in a difficult place when I came to this job, so I found watching her calming. Very therapeutic," Erik said, looking lovingly at the photo. "I suppose she's gone now, but I'm grateful to her for letting me get glimpse of her life."
Amy suddenly felt a tear on her cheek, which she quickly wiped away. But Erik had noticed.
"You know, your reaction is every photographer's dream," he said, smiling broadly.
Amy smiled, and stood up suddenly. She needed to leave, go write that e-mail. Her heart was racing again. His smile was slightly intoxicating. And the way he captured her beloved animals in such a beautiful way…
"You are very talented. I hope to see more of your work. I do need to go write that e-mail, though," she worked her way toward the door.
Erik opened the door for her and leaned against the frame as she entered the hall. "Let me know how it goes," he said.
"Enjoy the game," said Amy, rushing upstairs and quickly entering her apartment.
What the hell had just happened? She paced around her apartment for a bit, trying to collect her thoughts. She eventually sat down and wrote her letter to Sheldon. She'd let it sit for two days and send it Friday. That would give him the weekend to consider an answer. She felt accomplished by the time she turned in for the evening, yet her thoughts quickly turned to panic mode when the first face she saw upon closing her eyes to sleep was not her beloved Sheldon's.
Erik turned off the television after the final game of the evening was over. He tidied up his snack mess and put away the primate album, glancing one last time at Patricia. The last two days had been filled with thoughts of Amy, the lovely woman who had saved his dog. He hadn't felt this way towards anyone in a long time, not since he lost Aurora. The feeling was fresh and exhilarating. Still, to learn she had a boyfriend crushed his spirit a bit, but to even have this vibrant and exciting woman as a friend made him feel less lonely and more alive than he had in years. As he closed his eyes for the evening, he once again saw her face, the single tear falling down her cheek as she looked at Patricia's photo. He felt his heart fill with warmth, and he looked forward to seeing Amy again.
