-8 months prior-
Dear Mr Hummel,
Your account has now been activated! It looks like you have 3 friends in your area! Chat with them now!
Rachel-Star-Berry
drummerboy94
willinginfamy
Thanks,
The Get-In-Touch team
Kurt shook his head. Rachel had never been very creative with names, which was why Finn had come to Kurt for his screen name. The third name on the list, Kurt didn't know. So far, he was thoroughly glad he had chosen an obscure name for himself. He didn't need Rachel instant messaging him every waking minute when she wasn't with him. And Finn… well, they weren't close friends but, being his best friend's boyfriend, they did talk sometimes. That left the last one. The decision to talk to them was made for him in moments.
*6:24pm willinginfamy is messaging you. Do you know this person?*
Kurt clicked on the 'view message' button.
willinginfamy: Well, well, joined the dark side, have we? I don't think I've seen you here before.
He hesitated.
_uglyduckling_: Yeah, I'm new.
willinginfamy: Got a name, rookie?
_uglyduckling_: Maybe… Do you?
willinginfamy: I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours.
Something about just those words made him think an innuendo was cleverly disguised between the lines.
_uglyduckling_: You first.
willinginfamy: I asked first.
_uglyduckling_: What are we? Fifth graders?
willinginfamy: Well, if you are I'm afraid this little affair will have to end right here. And do your parents know what you're doing?
_uglyduckling_: Haha. I'm going to be a senior in high school thank you very much.
willinginfamy: Watch out, Duckling, you know you shouldn't give out your age on the internet. You never know who could be out there.
_uglyduckling_: Don't call me Duckling.
Despite the unnatural shiver of pleasure the nick name had given him, Kurt sent the message.
willinginfamy: Well, it is your screen name. If you gave me your real name I wouldn't have to call you Duckling.
_uglyduckling_: I don't think I will. I mean, you never know who could be out there, right?
willinginfamy: Fine, Duckling it is.
Kurt smiled despite himself.
willinginfamy: Well, Duckling, this has been sufficiently enjoyable. I expect to see you here same time tomorrow.
_uglyduckling_: You're leaving?
willinginfamy: Got a flight to catch. Ciao, Duckling.
*6:32pm willinginfamy is unavailable*
-present day-
Blood was running down the drain almost endlessly. Kurt gritted his teeth as he pulled another piece of porcelain. Ironic, he thought bitterly. He tossed it into the bag and run the gash under the hot water. He supposed he should go to the hospital, but he couldn't afford the bills. He could feel slivers in his fingers and palms. Wrapping his hand in a towel, he shuffled to his vanity and dug for his tweezers.
Towel now sufficiently soaked in blood he tossed it in the hamper. He had to do laundry anyway. Leaning back over the sink he felt tears begin to prick his eyes. Sucking in a breath, he dug into the skin for the slivers. Not for the first time, he wished someone was there with him. As if answering his prayers, his phone went off. He knew who it was.
willinginfamy: Evening, Ducky.
Kurt slowly typed his response, one-handed.
_uglyduckling_: Hey
willinginfamy: You okay?
_uglyduckling_: Just…give me a minute.
Sebastian sucked in a breath. He knew what that meant. Some sort of injury needed his duckling's attention. His heart seized. He was dying to wrap his arms around his duckling; just dying to protect him. He had fallen in love with this mysterious boy and it was scaring the living shit out of him.
Every night a new boy. That was how he lived. A new boy to not call, a new face to forget. He'd buried himself (quite literally) in several boys in the past 8 months, but he couldn't shake Ducky. Actually, that was a partial lie. Every new tragedy made him care less and less for other boys. Every new injury brought him back to the shimmering light of his computer screen. He hadn't slept with a boy since Christmas break. Since Duckling had disappeared. And it barely bothered him.
_uglyduckling_: Okay, I'm here.
Sebastian let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding.
willinginfamy: What was it this time?
_uglyduckling_: She scared me. I dropped a plate. She got angry, shoved my hand into the broken dish.
willinginfamy: Oh Duckling…
_uglyduckling_: I'm okay, now.
willinginfamy: Sure you are, Ducky.
_uglyduckling_: Really, Infamy, I'm okay.
willinginfamy: Fine. Can we talk about the two months, now?
_uglyduckling_: No.
Sebastian was on the verge of grinding his teeth. Could there be a more stubborn person?
willinginfamy: Ducky…
_uglyduckling_: Just leave it alone, Infamy. I don't want to talk about it right now.
willinginfamy: Just tell me where you were, Ducky! I was scared; worried sick.
Kurt sucked in a breath. His eyes pricked with tears again.
_uglyduckling_: I'm sorry, I just can't…
willinginfamy: …You're killing me, Ducky.
Kurt slowly deleted the 'I love you' he'd typed without thinking. Sure, they were friends, but they weren't at that point yet.
_uglyduckling_: I'm sorry.
willinginfamy: I know you are.
willinginfamy: Sorry to blow up on you. I know you don't like it when I push you.
_uglyduckling_: It's okay. I get you were worried.
willinginfamy: Maybe if you took my advice once or twice…
_uglyduckling_: She's my mother. And my sole guardian.
willinginfamy: You said you turned 18.
_uglyduckling_: I lied? I'll be 18 in two months…
willinginfamy: When's your birthday?
_uglyduckling_: May 27.
willinginfamy: Filing that information away…
Kurt smiled ever so slightly.
_uglyduckling_: Okay, Infamy. You do that.
willinginfamy: I have to go, Ducky, homework calls me.
_uglyduckling_: Must sound awful.
willinginfamy: Oh it does. Haha.
willinginfamy: I love you, Duckling. Stay together for me.
*7:56pm willinginfamy is unavailable*
Kurt felt the breath leave his body. He loved him. He shook his head. No, not like that. He meant he loved him like a best friend. Of course.
Sebastian threw his head back against his headboard. God, was he stupid? Why had he said that? And then he'd run. Like a coward. He'd sent the message on impulse and ran. He slammed his head to the headboard again.
"Sebastian, honey, you know that's not good for the wood." His mother poked her head into the room.
"Yeah, but it's okay for my head?" he asked.
"Oh, sweetie, it would be dangerous for you if you had anything in there," she teased good-naturedly. He cracked a smile.
"Thanks, ma." She came into the room and sat on his bed.
"You want to talk about why you're trying ruin your expensive bed frame with your head of all things?" she asked gently. He sighed. "It's the boy, isn't it? The one you're always online with?" He nodded. Something about mothers; they could always see right through people. Must be some weird female thing that happened when you had kids.
"He just worries me sometimes."
"Do you know who he is, yet?"
"No." She pushed his hair back off his forehead.
"You're helping him more than you realize, you know. Just having someone to talk to can be enough sometimes."
"Of course you would say that, you're a psychologist. Your whole job centers on that." She smiled.
"And don't you forget it, young man. You can talk to me about anything." She dropped a kiss on his forehead and left the room.
"Je t'aime, Maman," he called quietly.
"Je t'aime, mon enfant."
Gail Smythe closed the door gently behind her, smiling all the while. She walked into her husband's office, wrapping her arms around his shoulders loosely.
"Patrice, I do believe our boy is in love," she murmured. Her husband smiled.
"It's about time."
