"He'll never fall in love he swears
as he runs his fingers though his hair
I'm laughing 'cause I hope he's wrong."
I sit in the passenger seat as he drives me home. We aren't dating, people keep saying we are but we're just really good friends, we have been since middle school. He tells me about the date he was on last night, how the girl wouldn't keep her hands off of him, all she wanted was sex. I watch as he gets pissed talking about it. "Why are all girl like that Tris?!" He say and slams his hand on the steering wheel. I'm not. I think to myself.
"I don't know. Sorry it was so bad." I say and give him a weak smile.
He pulls up in front of my house. "I'm never going to fall in love am I?"
"You will. Someday." I look at his deep blue eyes, so many different shades of beauty in them.
"Yeah. Right. Have you been on any lucky dates?" I laugh and roll my eyes.
"Yeah. No." He runs his fingers though his hair.
"Oh Tris. Someday we will both be happy." I laugh again and open my door.
"Yeah, that's not going to happen for me. I'll see you tomorrow right? You're still coming over for the BBQ?" I say getting out of the car.
"Oh yeah of course. Tell You're mom I said to make a lot of that yummy fruit salad."
I laugh. "Okay! I will tell her. See ya tomorrow." I say and close the door. He drives off turning up the radio, his favorite song is on so he might wake up part of my street, I watch as he drives away and his radio seems to be getting louder. I smile and walk inside.
"How was Four?" My brother Caleb says as I walk in and sit on the couch.
"Eh. Another bust." I say, he already knows what I mean.
"Sorry to hear that. How are you?" Caleb knows how I feel about Tobias, he and I are really close. I'm Tobias' only friend that knows his name, I know a lot about him that no one else seems to know.
"Fine." I say messing with a loose string on shirt.
"Really?"
"Yeah. I'm going to go talk to mom." I say and get up, I walk into the kitchen and sit at the bar stole "You making the fruit salad?"
"Yup!" Mom says opening some whipped cream.
"Four says to make extra."
"Oh I am, I know how much he likes it. So he is still coming?"
"Yeah."
"Good. How are you the two of you?"
"Fine." I say and get up.
"That's good."
"Yeah, I'm going up stairs." I say and walk up the stairs.
I sit on my bed and call Christina. "Tris?"
"Hey Chris!"
"How are you?"
"Great. How are you I was told you had a date today?"
"Um Yes! It was perfect! Will is so sweet and so kind and oh my god! How as your date?"
"Sucked. So I ended up hanging out with Four."
"Sorry to hear that. How is he?"
"He's fine."
"That's good. What are you doing tomorrow?"
"Family BBQ."
"Plus Four?"
"Of course! He's like family."
"Maybe someday he really will be family."
"What?"
"Nothing. Just teasing."
"You better be."
"Tris will you answer me honestly."
"What?"
"Do you love him? I mean I see that way you look at him and you are both always together!"
"No! We are just friends! Friends and friends only, nothing more."
"Whatever Tris. I will talk to you later, Will is calling."
"Okay. Night." I say and hang up. I lay in bed and think of all the things I know about him no one else knows. He plays guitar, and he is really good at it, his name is Tobias, his father use to beat him, his favorite color is green, he was born on the 17th of May. He has his fathers eyes, and he hates that about himself. He love to argue, oh my gosh we use to get in the worst fights, we still do. And I love him, but he will never know that.
I wait outside for him to pull up, I see his car coming and I can feel butterflies in my stomach. "Why are you waiting out here?" He says as he gets out of his car.
"Because I can, Nothing wrong with that." I say and we hug, it's a friendly thing, nothing romantic about it.
"I feel like when you wait outside for me you are being clingy."
"I'm not, because there is no reason to be, we're friends and friends don't get 'clingy' only girlfriends do, and that's if they are fucked up girlfriends, who don't know you well enough to trust you..." I say, he looks at me a little strangely.
"Okay then." Is all he says and walks inside.
"What's that supposed to mean?" I say running after him.
"Nothing, you're just being a little weird today." Would you feel weird if you woke up every morning think about how beautiful your best friend is and how they will only notice you as a friend.
"Rough night." Is all I say.
"Oh yeah, Will called me told me all about his date with Christina."
"Chris told me all about it to."
"Glad all our friends can find someone ya know."
"Yeah. Now it's just me and you, forever alone!" I say with a nervous laugh.
"I guess so." He says and walks into the backyard. "Andrew!" He says to my dad. They are on first name basis.
"Four! So glad you could make it!" Dad says and shakes his hand.
"Natalie so good to see you again!" Tobias says and hugs my mom, he 'bro hugs' Caleb and they talk about cars for a while, he helps my dad with the hamburgers, and helps my mom carry stuff to the table. I sit on one of the chairs just watching him.
He comes and sits at the end of the chair I'm on. "Tris. What are you thinking about."
"Noting. Why?"
"You just look like somethings wrong."
"No, I'm fine. I'll be back gonna run up to my room for a sec." I say and get up.
"I'll come."
"If you want to." I say and walk inside. There is nothing go on with the two of us and my whole family knows it so much that they don't care if we go up to my room alone. I open my door and flop onto my bed and look under the bed.
"What are you looking for?"
"This." I say and grab the guitar that I'd got for my birthday a few year ago, Tobias has slowly teaching me.
"Oh yes it's been a while since we practiced." He says and sits on my bed with me, god how clueless is he? I position the guitar in my arms, he wraps his arms around me and my heat skips a beat then start to beat really fast. He start to tune the guitar while it's in my hands still, this is so casual for him. He can see right though all these girl, he can tell what they want from him and if they like him or not, but he can't tell from me, I don't know if that is a good thing, or not. I just know that it actually kills me a little.
"All tuned?" I ask.
"Yup, what do you remember?"
"Nothing." I say with a laugh.
"Oh Tris, you are hopeless." He says and rolls his eyes. "Let start with a basics..again." I look at him as he concentrates on the guitar. "Tris. Pay attention to the guitar, not me." I blush a little.
After a few minutes I think I get the hang of it. "Do I got it?" I ask him and play the cords.
"Yes! Tris! You did it finally! Can you remember that?!" He says smiling.
"I think so."
"We are going to pick these lessons back up, everyday we can okay?"
"Yeah, sound great." I put the guitar down and watch as he gets up and looks around the room.
"I can't believe you still have these." He says and hold up some old dried out flowers.
"Yeah, you gave me those in middle school for the dance. We both had no one to go with and I thought it was funny how you asked. I keep so much of the stuff you give me."
"Really?"
"Yeah, of course. You are my closest friend and I love all of our memories." He nods and walks around the room looking at everything, more than half of it is stuff he gave me or we got together.
"You have a lot of stuff from me."
"I kept almost everything."
"Do you still have the frog?"
"Tobias that was dead when you gave it to me. No I don't."
"Darn I was hoping you did!"
"That was like 9 years ago!"
"I know but you still have the flowers from like 5 years ago."
"6."
"What?"
"Six years ago."
"Oh, see you can remember these things."
"I remember a lot, I'm good at that."
"No you aren't. I taught you that song like 3 months ago."
"Okay well most things." He laughs and sits on the bed next to me.
"Do you remember when we went to summer camp together in 6th grade." He says randomly.
"Yeah, what about it?"
"Nothing."
"No what?"
"Just wondering if you remember it."
"I remember all of it, that was in 6th grade, we got that camp leaders to let us share a cabin, we stayed up all night talking an waking up the other kids."
"Yeah, a lot happen that summer."
"Yeah, it was great though, best camping trip. Well no, the one in 8th grade was."
"Oh yes!" He says with a laugh."You tried to kiss me."
"Tobias Eaton you tried to kiss me. We were sitting on the dock talking and you said my name and I looked at you and you leaned in and almost kissed me but I jumped into the water before you could."
"Fine. I tried to kiss you. But I didn't try to kiss you in 7th grade! That was you."
"Okay you know what I have told you so many times that was a dare from Christina!"
"I will never believe you."
"You know I love you as a friend, I would never do that."
"I think you would." Oh my god he is driving me crazy, I love when he argues but I hate it so much at the same time.
"Tobias."
"Tris."
"Shut the hell up."
"Fine I will stop. But I won't change my mind. It was still your choice." he says, and stands up, then walks out of the room, I get up and follow him.
"You're an ass."
"I know." He says as we reach the stairs. "Piggy back ride?" He used to give me piggy back rides down the stairs all the time.
I roll my eyes. "Fine." I say, and get on his back, he runs down the stairs full speed. I start to laugh, I close my eyes and hold tight to his neck. "SLOW DOWN!" I scream.
When we reach the bottom of the stairs and I'm still holding tight to him. "Tris we're at the bottom." He says. I don't move though. "Okay, I'll just run up the stairs."
"NO!" I say and release him.
"It couldn't have been that scary."
"Oh it was, it was that scary."
"The mighty Tris afraid of a piggy back ride down the stairs."
"Shut up, lets go, I think dinner is done."
We walk outside just as Caleb is walking in. "Oh I was just about to come get you."
"Well here was are." Tobias says and sit at the table next to Caleb and dad, I sit in front of him.
We all eat dinner and talk it's so casual, and so normal.
Dad lights a fire in the fire pit as it gets darker and we all roast marshmallows until my parents go inside. Then it's just Caleb me and Tobias, I curl up in a chair and let the fire keep me warm, Tobias and Caleb talk about cars and other guy stuff I don't care about, I begin to doze off.
I wake to Tobias kneeling down next to me. "Tris?" He says putting a jacket around me.
"Yeah?" I say opening my eyes a little.
"Scoot over." He says, I move over a little and he squeezes in next to me. "You okay?"
"Yeah, just sleepy." I say and rest my head in his shoulder, closing my eyes again.
"Do you want to go to bed?"
"No, I'm fine here, I'm going to wait for the fire to die all the way. Are you leaving?"
"Not until you go to bed."
"You can leave if you want, I will call you when I get there."
"No, I don't want you falling asleep out here and getting bit by hundreds of bugs."
"Okay, then you're staying here. I'm going to fall asleep now, you keep the bugs away." He laughs a little and puts his arm around me drawing me close to him.
"We can sit here for a little bit more then we are bring you to bed."
"Fine then." I say and close my eyes. "Don't talk to me I'm going to sleep."
"Okay."
"Shh!" I can feel him laugh as he plays with my hair. It's soothing and I wish there could be times like this all the time.
Before I know it I'm being carried up to my room. "I can walk you know." I say to him.
"I know, but if I woke you up you would want to stay longer."
"Not true." I say and he lays me in my bed. "I'm to old to be carried you my room."
"I know, but you were so sleepy I really didn't want to wake you."
"You're such a baby."
"Goodbye Tris." He says as he gets up and walks away.
"Tobias." I say quietly.
"Yeah Tris?"
"Good luck on your date tomorrow."
"There is none."
"Why?"
"I canceled, about a hour ago."
"Why? I thought you were looking forward to this one."
"No, not anymore."
"What's that supposed to mean?" I know he is hiding something.
"Nothing Tris." He says and walks over to me, he kneels down and looks into my eye.
"What are you hiding?"
"I don't know."
"What are you talking about Tobias?" He looks at me with a smile and gently kisses my forehead. "What are you smiling at?"
"You Tris."
"Why?"
"Because. It's just you. Lets hang out tomorrow." He says and walks out of the room, I listen as I hear the front door close and his car start. I get up and run to the window and look out, I watch as he drives away.
Caleb wakes me up in the morning which I wasn't expecting. "Did you and Four talk last night?"
"Yeah. We always talk." I say sitting up in bed.
"Okay, well I will be back up to make sure you're up in a little." He says and leaves. I lay back down and trough the blankets over my head. My phone goes off and I reach to grab it, I unlock it and it displays a message from Tobias.
"Get out of there." It reads. What is he talking about. I take the blanket off my head and look at the door where a smiling Tobias stands, he's so perfect. "Such a dork." Is all he says and sits in the end of the bed. "Do you even know what time it is?"
"Yeah, like 9:00." I say.
"No. 11:33"
"PM?"
"AM."
"I was up late?" I try to make an excuse.
"Nice try." He says. "Come on get ready to go."
"Where are we going?"
"Breakfast."
"Can't I just wear this?" I say, he looks at me and laughs.
"Tris you can't wear pink shorts and a shirt that says. "Goodnight." with an Owl on it."
"What's wrong with it? It's cute right?"
"You're cute Tris. Now come on hurry up!" He says and goes to my closet and tosses me an outfit. "Hop to it!" He says and leaves the room.
I slip on what he gave me, it doesn't even match that much. I walk out in the hall and he sit on the stairs texting, I go and sit next to him. "Who ya texting?"
"Lauren."
"Whatcha taking about?"
"We're going out tonight."
"I thought you canceled?"
"I did. But she convinced me to go."
"Oh, okay. Uh were are we going?"
"Dennys!"
"Really?"
"No. Not sure we're just going to go okay?"
"Okay. Then lets go."
We drive around then end up at a fast food restaurant and just get a small breakfast. "Do you know what I like about you Tris?"
"What?"
"I can take you to a freaking fast food joint and you don't care."
"Why would I care?"
"I don't know, but I like that. If I took any other girl they would be pissed, claiming it isn't a date place."
"Well this isn't a date." He nods.
"Yeah, about that. Tris?" What? What? About what?
"Yeah?" I can feel myself getting nervous, not wanting to make eye contact but I do anyway.
"I was lying."
"About?"
"Going with Lauren."
"Okay, I don't care if you were lying personally I don't see why you would have to lie."
"Why does anyone lie?" I shrug.
"Then why did you say it?"
"No sure. Guess I was avoiding talking to you."
"What? You don't like talking to me?"
"No! Not what I mean't." He says and drops his head to the table. "Shit." he mumbles, I smile at how he's acting.
"Tobias, what are you getting at?"
"Nothing. Let's just go." He says and gets up. I shake my head and roll my eyes. What a baby. He has a really shy side.
We walk out to the car and I get in, but he just stand there looking at me, finally he lets out a breath, shakes his head, and gets in the driver seat, we drive to my house and I get out. "Well what ever your plans are, date or not, hope you have a good day." I say. I hear him swear as I close the door. "See you soon! Text me! Or call either works." I say.
"Tris. God damn it, can't you see how hard this is. I don't want to ruin this!" He says and gets out of the car.
"What the hell are you talking about Four!?" I say. "Ruin what?"
"This!" He says and gestures between us.
"I think you need to cool down why are you so worked up?!"
"I'm not worked up!"
"Um yes, yes you are, you're yelling."
"I'm scared and nervous and frustrated!"
"WHY!? Talk to me, I'm your best friend!"
"I know you are. And I don't want to lose you that's why this is so hard." He says his voice still loud.
"What is?! Things could be settled so much faster if you would just say what you are feeling instead of saying stuff that makes no sense!"
I see his face drop, and become sober, he looks me in the eyes. "I- Damn it. I uh, I gotta go. Call you later." He says and walks to the driver seat. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.
"Love you." I hear a voice says, it's to girly to be his. He stops and turns around.
"What?"
"What." I realize it was mine.
"What did you say."
"Nothing."
"Did you say 'Love you'?"
"No."
A smile spreads across his face. "Tris. Do you want to go out tonight?"
I'm confused now. "Uh, sure? Where to? The arcade?"
"No. Like to dinner."
"Okay, uh fast food again?"
"Tris."
"Tobias."
"Let me clarify this for you. Do you want to go out on a date with me tonight?" My heart stops then beats so fast I can't breath.
"What?"
"How much more simply do I have to put this. You. Me. Date, tonight?"
I stand there numb, I want to say yes but I can't find the words, how long have I been waiting to hear those words. Since 6th grade. Almost 6 years now, maybe it was 7. I can't think.
"Okay then." He says and puts his hands in his pockets. "I'll talk to you later." He walks away, if I could only just find the fricking words!
"Yes." I get out. "Yes!" I say again. He stops mid step. "Yes."
I watch as he turns around and smiles. "Tris, you scared the shit out of me."
"Sorry."
"It's fine. So you will?"
"Yes! When, where? What time?"
"Tonight. dress nice. I'll be here at 6."
"Okay."
"Okay."
"Okay."
"Okay, see you soon Tris."
"See ya soon."
"Oh and." He pauses. "I love you too."
I walk inside and once the door closes I run up stairs screaming. I hear my mom calling me but I just run to my room slam the door and fall onto my bed. I go over everything I know about him that no one else knows again. I add how much he actually valued our friendship, and if he wanted to be more he was to scared that I would say no and that our friendship would be over. He's very loyal.
His favorite color is green, he has his dads eyes, and he hates that about himself, he loves to argue even if I tell him I hate it, he plays guitar, I know all of his favorite songs, and the songs he hates. I could tell you that he was born on the 17th of May, in the hospital 3 blocks form his house, in the 140th room on the 3rd floor. Which was two doors down the from the room I was born in two years later. He hates his dad and his father use to beat him, he loves his job working on cars, he hates slut-y girls. And he loves me.
Before he told me that he loved me I would deny loving him.
And if you asked me if I loved him.
I'd Lie.
Okay so why I wrote this one is because this song has been stuck in my head for the past 3 days so I thought it would make a cute fic! :D
~Keep Crazy And Fangirl/boy On! ~Kim
