One week before Hammersley sets sail again
Dutchy spent the last three weeks not sure what to think. He went and spent some time with his family before returning to Cairns.
Charge grieved for his mate. He rang his son and daughter and talked to them. He even managed to get a day to visit his son. He also took some time to visit Lani. His colleague's death reinforcing his commitment to his new wife as he helped with her visa and work applications.
2Dads did what 2Dads does best; he played poker and got drunk every night.
Bird is upset, but she makes a promise to herself that she will follow her dream of being a medic and applies to do more training through the Navy. She remembers the day during her gap year when she spoke to Swain about how she wanted to be a paramedic.
Robert no one is sure what he did. No one heard from him at all, but that is not unusual for him.
Kate shed tears for Jim, Swain and for hurting Mike like she did. As the weeks drew out, the more upset Kate got that Mike was not contacting her to talk. She wants to sort everything out and to do it now, not when he is ready. He was never ready to talk about them and his emotions unless she pushed for it, she thought.
Sally cannot decide if she should stay in Cairns or move back to Perth and be with her family. She is surprised at the support the Navy was giving her and also her friends and family at this time. This was also making the choice hard, as one option was not sticking out more than the other to her. Her mother suggested she think about Chloe and where she would be happy right now. She decides to wait for now, till she has her head around everything more, before making the huge choice about moving. Chloe is upset Daddy is not ever coming home but she has friends and they are getting her through each day. Routine right now is Chloe and Sally's godsend. Mike calls Sally a few times a week, to see how she is and to make sure she is getting all the support she needs.
Pete hears of Swain's death while out at sea. He can't attend the ceremony but does send Sally a small gift and well wishes.
Nikki comes to Cairns as soon as her frigate docks in Sydney, which is three weeks after Swain's death. She is on a four week shore leave.
As the news gets around about Swain and Jim's deaths in the line of duty there are a number of services held all over the world, depending on where the Australian Naval boats are at the time. All remembering the two who died protecting their country. For some, they never thought the threat could be so close to home.
Mike spent his time away with his family sorting himself out and spending it thinking about Swain and Kate. He is no clearer on what to do about Kate. But he has to return, he has to go back to work in a week.
When he arrives home he found he had a number of messages on his house phone, he listens to the first one from Kate, then deletes the others unheard. When he turns on his mobile, He discovers 35 missed calls from Kate and on 10 of those she left a message on his voicemail. He listens to the first two then deletes the rest without listening to them.
You can't let her play mind games with you, Mike. She is just trying to do this on her terms; to get you to talk before you are ready. Remember, you said you would talk when you were ready. Stick to it Mike, you have to. Because in the long run, if she can't wait for you to talk when you are ready, then there is no point in anything. You've already gone through it all in your head at your parents' place. Just stick to what you have decided. Don't ring her just yet. You've just gotten home Mike, don't go running after her.
Right, you'd better ring Maxine and inform her you are now back in Cairns. And then send a text out reminding everyone that shore leave ends in one week, but if you do that and include Kate she will know you are home or at least have your mobile on. Better not include her on the list. But then it is work and she needs to know and it is what I normally do after a long shore leave.
Mike picks up his house phone and rings Maxine.
"Maxine White speaking?"
"Hi Maxine, it's Mike speaking."
"Hi Mike, how is your time away at your parents going?"
"Yeah, it was ok. I was just ringing to let you know I am back in Cairns now if you need me for anything?"
"That is good because I have a stack of paperwork here from your XO."
"I will be in tomorrow, to deal with them."
"Mike, what's going on with you two?"
"Nothing, Maxine."
"Nothing, Mike? Well why would she be asking me to tell her where you were, and not even on one occasion but several different times?" Oh, God.
"Maxine, there is nothing going on. She has made sure of that. Now, I will come in tomorrow and deal with the paperwork," Mike says before he hangs up the phone.
Mike types out a text "1wk of shore leave left, sail in a week. Make sure you're back in time to sail. CO" and sends it to all his crew, including Kate.
What's the bet is that she will either arrive here soon to talk to me or she will ring me?
An hour later, Mike is sitting on the couch with music playing, taking in the ocean view from his lounge room window when knocking on his door disturbs his train of thought. He ignores it to start with, but when he hears Kate calling out to him, he decides he should answer it.
When he gets to the front door he hesitates before opening it. He is not total sure if he is ready to do this.
"Hello," Mike says to her. Not using rank, job or name, just 'hello'.
"Hi, Mike. Can I came in please?" Kate asks. Mike opens the door wider and moves, allowing her to enter. Kate walks through to the lounge. Mike shuts the door and follows. Well, at least this time she asked to come in.
Kate stands in the lounge looking out towards the water. Nothing is said between them for a few minutes.
"Do you want a coffee?" Mike finally says to her.
"Yes please," Kate replies. Mike heads off to the kitchen to make the drinks. He continues to watch Kate steering out towards the water.
Why is she here? What does she want? Well, at least she is not ripping into me yet.
Mike hands Kate her coffee and they lock eyes for a moment. Mike can see she is not herself; her eyes are not as sparkly and bright as they normally are.
"So Kate, what brings you here?"
"I wanted to see how you were doing?"
"I'm doing ok, what about you?"
"Ah, yeah, ok I think," Kate replies before she moves a few steps forward. There is a few more minutes of silence. Well, as least she's not being pushy about things right now, not demanding me to explain myself. Maybe now is the right time to talk to her.
"Um Kate, I think we should maybe talk before we sail again," Mike suggests and Kate takes a few moments to reply.
"What do you want to talk about?" she asks, not even turning to look at him.
"I would like to talk about a few things, Kate," Mike says as he turns and places his mug on the bench.
"Work or personal?"
"Mainly personal, but some work as well."
"I'm not sure, Mike." Mike hears the hesitation in Kate's voice.
"Kate, we have to talk at some stage, and in a week we'll both be back at work. Back as CO and XO," Mike says as he sits down on his couch.
"Mike, I don't really want to talk about things I just want some company." Mike is not impressed. God, here I thought she might talk to me, but no she trying to do this on her terms yet again. Control yourself Mike, don't let her get to you before you have started.
"Kate, I have spent the last few weeks trying to figure out in my head why you seem to be able to tell Dutchy things and not me," Mike says, sounding defeated. Kate turns her head to look at him. She sees him sitting on the couch staring at the floor with his hands in his lap.
"What do you mean by that, Mike?" He takes a quick look towards Kate.
"Dutchy said you broke up with me because of my career; because you thought that it was more important. What part is true Kate? Was that the reason you broke up with me or was it because you love Jim more than me… I need to know the truth Kate. No, I deserve to know the truth." Kate says nothing to start with.
"Um, yes and no."
"Kate, for crying out loud. It's a simple question that requires a straightforward answer." Mike sighs, the frustration evident in his tone.
"Mike."
"No, Kate. You are always at me for being the coward, for hiding behind the rules, for being too self-centred and absorbed. But did you ever, ever at all consider what I might have been battling within to be with you?" Mike spits out to her and Kate hangs her head.
"No, I didn't, but someone else did that when he walked out on me ten years ago with no reason, no explanation, no nothing."
"Kate, you were twenty three years old."
"So?"
"Did you even bother to think about why I left you like I did?" Mike says as he gets up off the couch and moves over to the bench that separates the lounge and kitchen. He leans on it facing the kitchen, his back to Kate. Ok Mike. Calm down, relax. Don't lose it at her. It's not totally her fault, remember you left without telling her. You've got to take the blame for that.
"Yes I did, Mike. I tell you how I feel about you, tell you I love you and then a few days later you are gone. So yeah, I did think about it far too much. But I still have no idea why you left, so maybe we should start with that before you start with me." She does deserve to know why, and if I want her to be truthful with me, maybe it's time I was honest with her too.
"OK then. If you want to know why then here you go. I was scared, I was scared that I could love someone so much. I was also scared that you would leave me for someone younger, and I knew if that happened I would…" Mike just can't finish what he is saying. Mike, pull it together.
"Yeah right. Mighty Mike Flynn, scared." Mike turns to face Kate.
"Yes Kate, I was."
"Why?"
"Why? God, Kate. The moment you walked into that room there was something about you, something that drew me to you. (He smiles, remembering the first time he saw her) Everyone thinks my heart belongs to the sea, but that changed the day you walked into the room. I believed, for the first time in my life, that there was such a thing as love at first sight."
"Well if that was the case Mike, why did it take you three years to get off Hammersley?"
"That day in my cabin, when we spoke about it and you said that a shore posting does have its advantages, I realised that maybe you wanted to try again, so I took it. I thought ok, she is older now, it can work."
"But you got posted back on."
"Not by choice, Kate. I got told to. I tried to not come back, but Fleet Command and Knocker told me I had to."
"Come on, Mike."
"No, Kate. Think about it, think about how it would have looked for both of us if I said 'sorry, I can't go back on Hammersley as CO because I am sleeping with the Executive Officer'. They would have thought it had been going on before I got posted off."
"Then why did you not find someone, anyone, to take over Hammersley?"
"Kate, I (just) could not leave Hammersley and her crew to just anyone, not after Coburn. But as time went on, I started to have doubts about us again."
"Doubts, Mike?"
"Yes, doubts Kate, concerns," Mike says before sitting back down on his couch.
"But why?"
"Well, sometimes it was hard to know what you meant or wanted. Sometimes you'd push me away for caring, for having feelings for you. Then there was the way you looked at Dutchy at times. I came back to the same thing I feared when we first were together. And also that time I was on shore you had a go at me about my job, that I had become 'one of them' and all I was doing was my job so I started to wonder if you could handle me being 'one of them'. Me, having to be impartial when it comes to the crew and you… The more I thought about it, the more I worried about it. Then I decided to bite the bullet. I put you forward for the promotion, hoping that might get me into your good books but I never got to tell you."
"Till after."
"Yeah," Mike says looking down at the floor, head in his hands. He sounds so defeated. Kate is not sure what to say next.
Their words linger in the silence of the room. Each processing what the other has said, but neither willing to make the first reply.
