Chapter II - Rose

I have been driving for a couple of hours, and I begin feeling sick. After the dinner and the talk with Abe, I got an SUV and they both let me drive away to a little safe place, where I could think.

I had suspected Abe to force me back to St. Vladimir so I could join them on the same plain back to Court, but he didn't. I think he could fell my pain. The old man isn't that bad anyway.

I have been driving about 100 kilometers, when I made my first stop. I drove in at the verge and stood out of the car. I was still in Rocky Mountains in Montana. The wind was cold and fresh as it wiped over my face.

I climbed up on a cliff and stood at the edge. The scene was replaying in my head, again and again.

Love fade, mine has.

I wish mine had too, but it hasn't. It remains totally intact, if not growing stronger every day. I'm standing out on the edge, screaming his name.

"Dimitri!"

Like a fool, I scream his name out loud, on the top of my lungs. I close my eyes, and try just for a moment, to pretend everything is okay. The tears I have held back for minutes, hours, days and weeks are starting to fill up my eyes.

I fall to the ground sobbing and crying. I cry out my broken heart and keep calling for Dimitri.

How could he do that to me? How can he love me while he was Dhampir and strigoi, but not after the transformation? I deserve his love! I am the one who saved him! I am the one he loves! "Why?"

The only answer I get to my screams, are the sound of my own echo. The only friend to calm me is my own shadow. And really, I have never been that much of a comforter. For god sake I'm Rose Hathaway!

"Hallo world! I hope you are listing!" I screamed out. "Is this enough for you? I'm breaking down", I cried out. My world is breaking and falling apart. Why is this happening to me? I lay my head on the cold ground, when something drew me away. I'm back in Lissa's head.

She is still with Dimitri. I can feel the pain in her chest or mine? Or… whatever.

"She doesn't need me. I can't be with her, after everything I put her through." He said with such a pain in his voice, that it almost brought tears to Lissa's eyes. "I almost killed her." "I almost made her to a strigoi," his voice so low, almost like a whisper. He put so many feelings in those 4 words. "I almost killed her." "But it wasn't you fault! As you said yourself, it was like a nightmare you couldn't wake up from! She still loves you. You are hurting here more now, than you did before". Like always Lissa was right. He had hurt me while he was strigoi, but it was against his will, and even though, he still loved me in his own creepy, murder way. He just wasn't the man I knew. Now he was back. He was dhampir again. He was his old self. The same deep brown eyes that looks deep into mine, the Russian accent that whisper "Roza" sensual in my ear and the brawny body that will always protect me against the enemy, but briefly holds me and give me a fantastic feeling. Only one thing is different now. Those eyes doesn't look into mine anymore. The voice doesn't whisper "Roza" into my ears anymore. But what hurts the most. He doesn't hold me in his arms anymore. And only those arms can protect me from the word he whisper in my ear.

"Love fade, mine has".

Slowly I get myself together, and walk back to the car. I drive further into Rocky Mountains. The moroi night is almost over. It's over a day since a day since I left the academy and no one was looking for me. I keep on a few miles more, and then drive in at a motel to get some sleep.