Damian was getting fed up. The first gnome-the one Grayson had dubbed David-had stopped finding its way all around the manor grounds, but Damian suspected that had something to do with the fact that Pennyworth had decided to attach the garden ornament to a cement stand. His reasoning was something about the thing being better displayed, with less of a chance of it getting misplaced. He had given Drake and Todd a very pointed look when he had said that, but Damian didn't know what that had to do with anything. He just hoped that that would be the end of it.
XYZXYZ
Jason could tell that the kid was about to combust, which was why he had taken a couple weeks off from the gnome hiding; hoping to lull the little brat into a false sense of security. However, he hadn't spent that time doing nothing, and now he had more than just one gnome to hide. It was the perfect time to do so, as well. Damian was at school, Bruce was in Paris, Dick was at his day job, and Tim was at Wayne Enterprises-which meant that Jason pretty much had the manor to himself. He just had to dodge Alfred, but since he was leaving soon to attend to his weekly errands, Jason figured he could handle it. In fact, after two hours, only one of the gnomes had been hard to hide, and that was mostly because Jason had gotten creative. All in all, it was completely worth it.
XYZXYZ
Damian stepped into the shower stall after a long and grueling patrol. He wanted nothing more than to scrub himself clean and then head to bed. It had been a long day, and he was thankful that he hadn't seen any stupid gnomes for a while. At least, that was until he had grabbed his bar of soap. With an indignant yelp, Damian dropped the soap onto the tiled floor.
"Little D? Are you okay?" Dick called from two stalls over.
"I'm fine, Grayson. I don't need you to hover like a maternal figure." Whatever Grayson had responded with, Damian ignored as he glared at the gnome inside of his soap. He didn't know who had done this or how, but he vowed to find the ones responsible and make them pay. There was no way the gnomes were this well organized. They had to have been getting help, and Damian would find the ones assisting them. It was only a matter of time.
XYZXYZ
Jason was standing near the showers, snickering to himself, when Tim entered the cave. He was just about to ask why Jason seemed so pleased with himself when he saw Damian leave the shower area with a towel wrapped around his waist, dripping wet, scowling and grumbling to himself. Tim raised an eyebrow and stared at Jason for a moment. "What did you do?"
Jason shook his head, and his expression turned even more gleeful. "I'll explain later. Right now we need to get upstairs. I promise it's going to be great."
Tim didn't ask any more questions before following Jason up the stairs. He didn't know what was going on, but he figured that if it had something to do with the scowl on Damian's face, then whatever it was was definitely going to be worth it. They both huddled together outside of Damian's door, pressing their ears to the wood in an attempt to hear whatever was going on inside.
XYZXYZ
Damian threw open the dresser drawer that held his pajamas, intending to get dressed and go straight to bed. He just wanted this day to be over with, but, when he reached in for his pajama pants, he felt something that was distinctly not fabric against the tips of his fingers. He glanced down to see a small gnome figurine. He instantly grabbed it and threw it across the room with a growl, and watched with a sick sort of satisfaction as it shattered against his wall. He swore that he was going to find the person who did this and gut them open. Damian griped to himself the entire time it took him to tug on his pajama bottoms, and then he moved over to his bed.
He pulled back the covers, and immediately began swearing loudly in Arabic. There, lying on his pillows and all over his sheets, were a dozen little gnomes, staring up at him with tiny little black eyes. He threw up his hands, and rushed out of the room, glaring at Drake and Todd on his way out. He was certain that they had just come to see what all of the commotion was, and Damian didn't care enough to give them an answer. He needed to find a weapon and fast. The damn things were multiplying.
XYZXYZ
Tim had to bite his lip to keep from laughing out loud. He turned to Jason, who was grinning like a lunatic. "I can't believe you put them in his bed."
Jason only smirked more. "Oh, it's not over yet, baby bird."
Tim sobered long enough to raise a quizzical eyebrow at Jason. "What do you mean?"
Jason's only response was to gesture for Tim to follow him. The two of them made their way down the steps, and then came to a halt outside of the kitchen. They watched silently as Damian rifled around the kitchen clearly searching for something. Every few moments he would pause, and then his cursing would get even more fervent. Tim turned to Jason wide-eyed. "You hid them in Alfred's kitchen? Are you insane?"
Jason glared at him. "Hey, I was going to remove them before Alfred found them. I'm not stupid."
The two of them fell silent again and they returned to watching Damian as the boy not-so-quietly lost his mind. They both had to bite their tongues to keep from laughing the longer they observed what was going on in the kitchen. It was clear that Damian wasn't dealing well, and they couldn't help but enjoy every second of it. Tim had to wonder if, maybe in the future, the boy would think twice about attacking former Robins.
XYZXYZ
They were everywhere…the gnomes where absolutely everywhere. He couldn't escape them. They even infiltrated Pennyworth's kitchen. Damian had thought that out of every place in the manor, the kitchen would be the safest. After all, Pennyworth didn't even let father into the room, certainly he would have kept the gnomes out as well-but it seemed as though Alfred had failed, and now Damian had nowhere else to run. No matter, the gnomes would all get it eventually. He just had to find a way.
XYZXYZ
Jason couldn't help but enjoy watching the kid lose it, especially after that crowbar in his bed incident. The kid definitely had it coming…if not something far worse. He didn't understand why Damian had such a hate on for lawn gnomes, but he sure as hell wasn't going to pass up a chance to get even. Suddenly, it occurred to Jason that they could do so much more than just send the kid on a scavenger hunt. He nudged Tim while Damian continued hunting for whatever it was that he was searching for. Tim glanced back at him with a questioning expression. "I just thought of a way to make this ten times more fun."
Tim raised an eyebrow at him once again. "Why do I have a feeling you're about to do something extremely evil?"
Jason's smirked swiftly turned mischievous. He definitely intended to make the little brat squirm, and his new plan would undeniably help. "I say we sneak back upstairs and remove all evidence of the gnomes he found."
Tim huffed out a breath of amused laughter. "I'll go. Let me know if he starts heading back to his room."
Jason nodded and turned his attention back towards the kitchen. "You know, I think I could get used to this partnership."
Tim merely shook his head as he quickly made his way back up the stairs, but Jason still heard the whispered, "Whatever you say, Hood." Jason smiled to himself. Yeah, he could certainly get used to this.
XYZYXZ
Damian gave up on his search for a viable weapon from the kitchen after he opened the seventh drawer to find another one of those dastardly things inside. He decided to return to his room, and deal with the ones in there by tossing them out the window. It wouldn't be as satisfying as watching them burn, but it would have to do. He stormed back up the steps, ignoring the sound of Drake and Todd moving around. He wasn't sure what those two idiots were doing, but he had more important matters to attend to.
He entered his room, intent on heading straight for the window, but before he took more than two steps over the threshold, Damian noticed a distinct lack of gnomes. Everything was exactly how he had left it. The bottom drawer of his dresser was still hanging open and his covers were still thrown about, but there were no signs that there had been any gnomes in his bed. There weren't even any inditations on his sheets from the little garden decorations, and the remains of the one that he had shattered against his wall were nowhere to be found. Damian had even rummaged through the wastepaper basket by his desk for the remains, but all that was in there were a few things he had personally discarded.
He had to find a way to stop them, but how? What kind of magic was this? Did gnomes even use magic? He thought about contacting Zatanna, but that would most likely upset his father. Besides, Damian figured he could handle this without the help of others. After all, he was the son of Batman. Surely, he could subdue such repugnant creatures. He just needed to figure out where the gnomes were originating from. He didn't know how to accomplish that goal, but Damian had no doubt that he would. He was a Wayne and an al Ghul, and no gnome was going to get the better of him.
The End
