A/N:
TazChan: Eu ainda acho q nao saiu tao bom qto devia TT... O hikaru nao perceberia um olhar...ou um sorriso...ai eu nao sei fazer isso...pelo menos essa fic eh um começo...;-;...Review pleaseee!!!
Aoi : It's continued!!! Please continue to read and review 3
RavenToriBlack: I m glad you think it's awesome...it's my first hikaxkao without mary sues, Kaoru leaving, Kaoru dying or Kaoru getting sick...so I hope it works loool. Please continue to read and review!!
wickedlady 101: It was beautifully written?? Really????shining eyes I am so happy /o/!!! Please continue to read and review and I hope you continue to like as well!!
Haru-Hatori-Hiro: You think I write the best twin angst??? Thank you thank you thank you!!! You made my day DDDD...please continue to read and review!!!
A special thanks to Haru-Hatori-Hiro as well for following my twincest fics 3!!!
Live like This
Kaoru supported himself on the wall beside him. He rests his head and smiled. His brother was chatting with Haruhi a small faint smile on his cheeks, his eyes glowing. He looked so happy, so in love. She looked happy too; that was a good sign. It meant that maybe Hikaru had a chance to be with her.
And even though that hurt Kaoru, he had never seen his brother smile like that, look at anyone like that. Not even him – at least not that he remembered. He was happy that his brother, his twin, his object of the deepest love, was happy.
It made Kaoru smile to know that Hikaru was smiling too.
So before anyone could realize he was still there he started walking his way home. It was better to leave them some time alone and a limousine was the best place for that.
The driver saw his "boss" walk too far away from the limo and started to follow him.
"Mr. Hitachiin? The car is over there…" The driver said looking a bit confused at the young master. Kaoru chuckled at the man's confused state.
"I feel like walking today…don't worry I will be fine." Kaoru said and left the man standing in the sidewalk not really knowing what to do.
But today he would not explain. He was happy for Hikaru, of course he was. But at the same time his heart was in so much pain for losing the love of his life. So the last thing he wanted was to be the third wheel. He did not want to see Hikaru making his moves on Haruhi…if he had any moves.
He sighed…this would be one long walk, with way too much to think…things he did not want to think about. He just wanted to observe everything around him in hopes of finding something or someone, anything, to distract him.
So that was what he did. He never really stopped to see the people or places around him. The way home was actually pretty. It had a lot of big trees filled with sakura flowers, the sidewalk and the streets were clean; the cafes were filled with people, especially students who just got out of school. It was fun to watch.
There were a bunch of groups, girls and guys laughing and making jokes. There were some couples who were happily walking hand in hand, others were hidden in the nearest alley doing her things with their hands. That thought made Kaoru smile. He wished he could smile and be happy just like all of these people. Be normal, not have any incestual feelings for his brother. Here it was again…could he stay at least 10 minutes without thinking about Hikaru?
He had to eat something…it was a hot day and an ice cream parlor was nearby. So he crossed the street and hoped the ice cream would somehow make him forget about his brother.
He entered and picked a flavor…any really, he wasn't really hungry, just very hot and not very distracted.
A very small person kept glancing at him. The line to get the ice cream was long and the little girl by his side seemed interested in him. He looked down at her smiling and she turned her gaze away; blushing like a little girl would. She had blonde hair tied in a pony tail, dressed in a pink dress with little flowers on it. He smiled. Her mom was by her side smiling and shaking her head, she was blonde too and they were probably foreign. It was nice trying to guess things about people. This whole observing people outside of school, getting to know the way back to his home…it made him think.
Kaoru always thought Hikaru was the one who was closed off. Apparently he didn't know much about the world either. He never observed anyone else but the closed circle that was the Host Club. And the world was so big!!! He could be like one of those happy people. He could live too…not have a girlfriend because he is in love with Hikaru…but he doesn't have to be miserable. In less than ten minutes he managed to smile…twice!!
He got his ice cream and left feeling much better than when he entered the parlor. But before he could cross the street he felt something, no someone, tug at his sleeve. He looks down and sees the little girl again. He smiled and kneeled in front of with a questioning look. She was blushing and was not looking at him in the eyes. Suddenly a sakura flower pops in front of his eyes; she was holding it, giving it to him. He smiled and thanked, the girl looked at him, smiled too and ran back to her mother who was yelling her name.
He smiled at the flower. Amazing how kids can be so pure and so cheerful. He never had such childhood; he was always closed off, always living in his tiny world. God, how much did he miss in his life?
Well…he would start all over again if he had to! Yes that is what he would do! He would go home and start watching some child's movies. Brother Bear, Finding Nemo…he would find out what he missed out and try to make up the lost time. He would start living. And from now on he was going to school and back home, alone, walking, every day!
Opening the gates to the world, to Hikaru it was falling in love with Haruhi, to Kaoru was finding out that he does not has to be miserable because Hikaru isn't around. He would be sad, but try to get the best out of the situation. It seemed like a good plan.
He saw the mansion and walked faster, he had movies to see, restaurants to go, people to meet. So much he could know about the world instead of moping around at home.
Ok, Hikaru was getting worried. Really worried. Really, really worried. There was no sign of Kaoru anywhere and his cell phone was off. Where could he have gone? Haruhi was waiting for him to drive her home and Kaoru was nowhere in sight.
He saw his driver approaching him, mouth opening and closing many times, but he never said a thing. Annoyed, Hikaru asked without much of what people call respect.
"What?!" The driver closes his mouth and takes a deep breath.
"If you are looking for your twin, I just wanted to let you know sir that he already went home." The moment the other left his mouth the driver regretted. Hikaru looked at him with such fury in his eyes.
"And you let him?!!" He asked like the poor driver could do anything about it. The man just stuttered as Hikaru walked in the direction of Haruhi, wanting to take her home as soon as possible and check if his twin was safe back home.
Haruhi looked puzzled all the way to her house as Hikaru tried to act polite and kind like Kaoru taught him to, but he was just too worried. If he knew that Kaoru was safe than he would be able to enjoy taking Haruhi home but he couldn't because he hadn't talked to Kaoru in more than an hour!
As soon as Haruhi left the limo Hikaru told, no, ordered the driver to speed up, he had to get home as soon as possible.
Once there he just rushed his way to their shared bedroom and to his fear Kaoru wasn't there. But soon he heard laughter coming from the room next to theirs, the movie theater room. He was never happier to hear his brother's laugh than now.
He walked over the room and opened the door. Kaoru was sprawled on the couch watching a movie…no an animation…of fishes. Hikaru forgot he was mad at Kaoru and burst out laughing.
He opened his eyes again, after wiping the tears of laughter and met his brother's eyes, a curious expression on his face. But in his eyes was the same kind and gentle expression a before and that was really freaking Hikaru out. But he decided to ignore that for now.
"Why are you watching a fish movie?" He asked trying not to laugh and Kaoru pouted – and Hikaru laughed of course. Though he had to admit that was the cutest pout he ever saw his brother do. OK…where did the come from?
"Because of this." Kaoru said and showed Hikaru a small sakura flower. Hikaru looked at Kaoru, a confused look on his face. Kaoru just continued there, kneeled on the couch holding the part where you are supposed to rest your head.
"Still not getting." Hikaru said and Kaoru laughed. His laugh combined with that look sent a shiver through Hikaru and that confused him even more.
"You will someday…" Kaoru said, a smile on his lips - lips…an interesting body part. Hikaru blinked and shook his head, what a weird day.
"I don't like when you go mysterious on me. Like you did today, coming home alone, are you crazy?" Hikaru said, voice a bit higher, approaching Kaoru.
Kaoru laughed again, blushing a little at the thought of his actions and how he had made Hikaru mad, he got closer to his brother. And here came that look again.
"No, I just missed too much in my life…I am making up for lost time." He said smiling at Hikaru. Hikaru moved his gaze elsewhere, away from his brother's eyes, he wanted to be mad at Kaoru but he couldn't if he continued to see that sweet look in his eyes.
"You right? Just you? It use to be us…until today." Hikaru said and left the room without looking back at Kaoru.
"Hika…ru…" He tried to call his brother's name but he was already gone. No, it was not until today. It was until Haruhi entered in their lives and told them apart…and opened the gates of their world, stealing Hikaru from him.
Kaoru put the volume higher to be able to cry without anyone hearing…the movie ended and Kaoru was still sitting on that couch, crying silently.
Kaoru finally stopped crying one hour and a half later…he did not want to see his brother yet. So he just watched more children's movies, which were hilarious by the way, and some were very very cute.
He felt better by the time the children's movies marathon ended but he missed his brother…almost an entire day without Hikaru…he was supposed to be use to it by now, but he wasn't.
And when he entered the bedroom and saw his brother holding his pillow all he could do was smile. He looked so adorable…he was curled up in a ball, holding Kaoru's pillow tight to his chest. Hikaru had not the slightest clue of how apart they had gone. Until today apparently.
He took off his uniform and stayed only in his boxers, like they usually slept…a very tempting way of sleeping to Kaoru. He slowly got on the bed and tried to slowly pull his pillow from Hikaru's strong hold. He wished he could be his pillow; and like Hikaru could read his thoughts, on the moment he managed to get his pillow back he was pulled against a warm body and a very strong hold. He had to fight hard not to moan.
"I am sorry." His brother said, eyes staring into his, a faint blush on his cheeks. Kaoru smiled softly and felt a shiver run on his brother…he wondered why.
"It is ok…I forgive you." He said with a soft voice. Hikaru smiled and pulled him closer, resting his head on the crook of Kaoru's neck, snuggling closer.
Kaoru closed his eyes, All of Hikaru's face was brushing against very sensitive skin…including his lips. He closed his eyes and bit his lip hard. He had to get as much self control as possible. He could feel Hikaru's chest against his, his lips brushing occasionally against his neck, his breath tickling his skin, his arms holding him tight, gluing him to Hikaru. It was all too great…too sexual.
But Kaoru would try to think about non-sexual things and stay awake as much as possible…caressing his brother's back…he just wanted to live this moment forever…he didn't want to sleep, he just wanted to absorb everything in this moment…for it maybe the last.
