Kisame's First Few Days at Akatsuki

DISCLAIMER: You all probably know this, but, I DON'T OWN NARUTO!!!

Chapter 2: The Slideshow: an Introduction

"Wake up. Or I'll kill you" said Itachi, holding a kunai to Kisame's head. OO ( this is Kisame's head. The arrow things are his gills. Tell me if it works) Silently, Kisame got out of his bed and followed Itachi to this clear white room with one chair and an overhead screen. "This, Kisame, is the one thing that will teach you all about this organization. In the form of a slideshow. Sit down." Itachi said. He turned on a radio, putting in a CD. "Beethoven Symphony No. 9?" Kisame asked. "Yes. It's to comfort you for what's to come. Okay, just so you won't close your eyes or run away or any other of that crap, ill strap your eyes open and tape you to the chair ok? " Itachi said, as if it were no big deal.

"What about blinking…?" Kisame asked, fear in his voice.

"What about blinking?" said Itachi, not getting the question.

"………………….."

"OKAY!!! The slideshow is about to start!" Itachi said/yelled/in his face.

"MADE BY NONE OTHER THAN… ME!!!!" Itachi announced proudly.

"Ok… music's on…check… slideshow proper… check… Okay... We're ready!" Itachi said, starting the show.

Itachi is saying all of this.

Ok, Kisame, this first pic is a group photo of us on Friday, Karaoke night! This day we drink and sing and barf on each other all night. Wich explains most of Saturday. Fights to the death because we threw up on each other all night. And, Sunday, we Sleep in, do nothing all day. Oh yeah, here's the pic with the fighting to the death.

red colored paper shows up

Kisame: "It's just a red piece of paper."

That's short for what happens. There's no time to take photos because someone always gets blood on the camera. So we don't bother. That's why we always have room for new recruits. Moving on. Mondays through Thursdays, is mission time, or teaching new recruits. Since today is Thursday, I'm only saying this stuff once. So pay attention.

Kisame: "I don't have much of a choice"

Good. Now, tomorrow, we expect you to come to Karaoke Night. This time, Orochimaru might be there. Say hi, get to know him. Along with the other Akatsuki members.

Normal Now.

For some odd, Strange reason, the slideshow suddenly changed out of control and kept flipping pictures. All from Karaoke Night, to Kidnapping people, killing and-

"WHO THE HELL PUT THESE PICTURES THERE!!!???" Itachi screamed. A snickering could be heard from outside the room but when Itachi looked, he was gone. Bur now the Slideshow stopped and showed a note saying:

Dear Brother-teme,

I have ruined your photos and snuck one last photo to share.

From, Sasuke.

What picture is he talking about? Itachi thought. "ITACHI!!!!!!!!!! TURN THIS DAMNED THING OFF!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S BURNING MY EYES OUT!!!!!!!!!!!" Kisame yelled blood stained all over the once white room. Signs of a struggle. Itachi found Kisame on his side in a corner. DON'T LOOK AT THE SCREEN ITACHI!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When Itachi looked at the screen, he saw something that would make the most stoic, unfeeling person in the world cry and die crying. It was… OROCHIMARU IN A … BIKINI!! (I'm terribly sorry, and by now I've probably killed you. But if you are alive enough to read on, this is just an example on how far I go on making a crack-fic.)

A few minutes later, Deidera found Itachi and Kisame on the floor. The Slideshow thing ran out of batteries and turned off. "Woah… what happened here…?" Deidera poked Itachi and gave up and decided to wake them up in the morning.

Itachi eventually woke up and left the room without looking back. He felt strange, like he forgot something important… he wondered…

"HEEY!!! SOMEONE!!! INTIE ME!!!!! HEEEEEEELLLLPPP!!!!!!" Kisame was still tied up in the white/blood stained walled room.

If you are still alive and reading this, im sorry if I lost your trust in fanfictions. Thank you.