"Great, see you at eight and yes, same place"
Cora quickly replied to her husband and put the phone back in her purse with a sigh. Meeting Robert alone after their separation had always been tense. They act so cautious around each other, always testing the surfaces, making random small talk or discussing children. They were both so afraid to hurt each other again. She had spent a large chunk of her life with that man. He was her husband and she had loved him so much but then he started to withdraw from her. She missed him so at his suggestion she started working. He suggested it, didn't he? Then why did he have to be all grumpy each time she had to go for work? They were both busy. Cora supported him so much when he had to work till wee hours then why couldn't he do the same? She had achieved and prospered and enjoyed her job so much and every time she wanted to share her success with her best friend, her husband all she got in return was a quick, 'That's great. What's for dinner?' Why couldn't he be happy for her? A hug or at least give a "That is wonderful darling, I am so happy for you"? They started to withdraw and Cora had consoled herself that it's only their damn routine but then she heard someone from his office spread gossip that he had slept with his secretary, Jane. Oh, that made her lungs stop working. She didn't believe it. She didn't want to and when she asked him, he confirmed the story. She felt like she had been slapped and had been kicked swiftly in the stomach. She had never felt so broken in her life before that. She felt helpless. 25 years of marriage and love and he threw it all away doing it with a secretary. She couldn't possibly live like that so she left him. She needed to get away.
Simon Bricker, her colleague had come along, he was kind and listened to all her stories and was nice to her. She fell in a comforting pace with him. And soon they were dating then moved in together. He was good enough for her and she enjoyed being listened to and being appreciated.
It had been four years of struggle. She didn't know what to do but she was tired and she had a feeling that everyone expected her to make some sort of a decision soon because living like this wasn't taking her anywhere. It was only a few months ago that Simon randomly or rather purposely told her about a great lawyer friend he had. A divorce lawyer, how fitting! It wasn't his decision nor he pushed her but then her mother had asked her as well about what she planning to do. What was she planning to do? She never really thought about it. But maybe it was time. She had a feeling Simon was about to propose and she didn't know what she wanted. He was good enough for her. He was supportive and appreciated her. It wasn't mad love, or even love love, but she liked him. She had been in love before and she honestly didn't trust the powers of love now. She had loved Robert desperately and she knew he had loved her as well but even with that and matching chemistry and similar likes and dislikes, they had fallen apart. So maybe love isn't everything. Simon understood her want for independence. She didn't love him like she loved Robert but maybe love isn't that important. She liked him and that was enough. She wasn't sure if she wanted to marry him but she did know that it was time to make some sort of a decision. She didn't go to the lawyer but she did hint the impatiently wondering Simon that she'll talk to Robert. She wasn't even sure what she was exactly going to say. How will she say it? It hurts her so much! It still did but she has to be strong. She was going to ask the man who had been her whole heart if he wanted a divorce.
Well, did she want a divorce?
She didn't know. She just…oh, why is this so hard? She had loved him and some part of her always will and he had loved her. They had been happy but for the past six years they had been terribly unhappy. They set each other teeth on edge, she didn't want that. She didn't want to hate him so she will just talk to him first. She will make the brave move. Surely he would be seeing someone?
She wondered if there was someone. She would make him happy; she would be pretty as well. Bitch. What a bitch. No wait, why is she even thinking about this? Robert had all the right to be with someone else. She was with Simon as well so thinking that would be hypocritical. She didn't love him but she was dating. This is so hard for her, it is still hard for her, she doesn't think about her and Robert much, what's the point? When at times she did, she realized that her heart physically aches. She hated that! They weren't meant to be but gosh, that man, he made her mad. She just….can't with him. He is her Robert.
But he is not now. So he had all the right to be with someone else. Why is she jealous? Oh what on earth is she doing, she doesn't even know if there is someone in his life!
What a mess.
Her life is a mess. Everything is a mess and she needs to sort it out. She needs to talk to him about the divorce.
Divorce. The word stabbed her heart. It would make it final but that's good isn't it? They will have a chance to start afresh. To move on. And they needed to get out of this maze because it wasn't taking them anywhere. And she will still see him. She still does at parties and get togethers. She will stay in touch with him forever, they were bound to meet, they had a family.
But she will just talk and see what he thinks. Because she doesn't know what she thinks or wants but she wanted to end this torture for both of them.
They had loved each other. And some part of them always will keep loving each other, it was impossible not to but it was time.
Cora sighed again and ran a hand through her hair sitting in her basement researching on a painting she had recently learned about.
Her hand passed her cheek and felt the wetness on it. She moved her head to the right to face the large mirror she had placed.
Tears.
She had been crying and she didn't even realize it.
Be strong. Be strong Cora. It is for the best. It must be.
She observed the picture of the painting on the book she had been reading. It was a painting of man facing a sunset, sitting on a beach. It was so colourful and so dark at the same time. The sky was so colourful but ocean was turning darker slowly.
Somehow she felt like the man in the picture. Watching her life turn from light to dark.
Watching the sun set in her life bringing in the dark sky.
Hey! Here is Chapter 2 from Cora's POV. I really hope its isn't crap. Still no ideas to where it's headed. Reviews will be much appreciated.
