Author's Note:There will be flashbacks those will be in italics. Enjoy

Disclaimer: I own nothing. The title "Nowhere Man" comes from the song by The Beatles.


October 1980

For the first time in a long time Remus and Sirius were having a meal together in their flat. Normally one of them would be away on a mission for the Order. Or one would be busy and just eat at a later time than the other.
For a while, Sirius felt this tension between him and Remus. Sirius knew Remus was hiding something. He just did not want to believe that Remus was stabbing him and his friends in the back. So Sirius did not confront Remus about it. Although at times Sirius would start yelling at Remus. His boyfriend would look shocked and tell Sirius to calm down.

"I have to leave in a few days," Remus broke the silence at dinner. "It's a really important mission."

"That you can't tell me about," Sirius said gloomily.

"Well I can tell you that I have to go undercover for maybe 5 months. I am the only one who can do it. I have to convince werewolves from Fenir Greyback's pack to side with us." Remus told him. Sirius stopped eating and one could hear the clash of the silverware hitting the plate.

"You can't do that," Sirius said. "That's super dangerous. That's pretty much a suicide mission Remus and I'm not letting that bastard Greyback touch you." Sirius could feel his anger rising. Remus got up from the table and started washing his plate by hand. His back was turned to Sirius. He just couldn't look at him. Did Sirius know that Greyback tried to "claim" Remus? Remus told no one and now felt very uncomfortable.

"I'll be fine. I have to go. I have to make myself useful in some way."

"You do have to do it that way. Please Remus stay." Sirius pleaded even though he was angry with him. He didn't want to lose him.

"I can do what I want. I'm not a child." Remus turned around to look at Sirius. "Everything we do for the Order is dangerous this isn't any different." Remus walked away and went into their bedroom.


In the end, after an argument with Sirius that took almost a day, Remus decided not to go on that mission. Sirius was right. It was a suicide mission and Remus didn't want to be around Greyback.

It had been a week since Dumbledore told Remus the tragic news and he didn't leave his bed once he returned from Delia's house. He didn't want to do anything. He just wanted this to end. Rachel tried to talk to him through the door but Remus ignored her.
That Sunday, all Remus wanted to do was get out and run away. But he didn't know where. And then he decided he should run to place Sirius was so against him going to. Remus never was the rebellious type but he didn't want to be himself anymore.
So Remus left his room and was going to tell Rachel that he would be gone for a bit. He saw Rachel drinking firewhiskey in the living room. Remus saw other empty bottles near her. This was even better because Remus didn't know how she would react to him leaving.

"Rachel I'm going. I don't know when I'll be back." Remus wanted to give her a hug goodbye but couldn't do it. He couldn't feel anything.

"Ok sure," Rahcel slurred. "See ya"

Just as Remus turned the door knob to leave Rachel yelled "Wait I need you. I have to tell you something."

"What is it?" Remus said annoyed.

"Just don't leave me." Rachel pleaded.

"No. I have to go."

"Please just let me tell you that I-"

Remus didn't hear what his drunken sister said after that since he closed the door on her and ran as fast as he could from all the memories.


Remus traveled to a desolate forest and found a scruffy, sketchy man leaning against the tree.

"Hi... um... I have an appointment with Fenir Greyback." Remus said awkwardly. When the man looked at him funny Remus said, "I am one of you." He showed the man the large scar on the man's shoulder.

"One of his?" the man asked. He could tell from the scar

"Yes." Remus replied.

The man showed him the passage way to get underground where the pack lived. It was a dark and narrow hallway to go through but Remus saw the rooms where the werewolves slept. They were lying all over each other. Some were naked while others had very torn clothing on.

The man told him where Greyback would be. Remus found the werewolf that ruined his life forever. But for some reason he was going back to him.

"You came back," The much larger werewolf said to Remus. "I knew you would." Besides being taller than Remus, he was bigger and could easily crush the smaller werewolf like it was nothing.

"Let me stay here." Remus said to him.

"I know why you are here. I am not an idiot. I know what happened in that human world you live in. All of your friends are dead and your lover killed them." Greyback said bluntly. It sent a shiver through Remus.

"Wait how do you know that?"

"Doesn't matter. You never belonged in that world. No one ever fully accepted you," Greyback said. "How do I know that you will not leave me?" Greyback questioned and walked closer to Remus. "You were never loyal to your own kind."

"It's all I have left." Remus couldn't believe he just said that. "I am loyal."

"I need to see that for myself." Greyback was less than an inch from Remus' face and then Remus felt a rough lips touch his. The kiss wasn't gentle. It was hard, and coarse.

Remus should have expected this but he honestly didn't care. Greyback felt nothing like Sirius so Remus went along with it. At some point Remus was on the ground and Greyback was straddling him. The older werewolf took off Remus' pants. Remus made no protest even though a part of him was telling him to leave and run. Remus was quiet but he did moan when Greyback went inside him. Remus felt pain he never ever experienced before. The older werewolf slapped him across the face at one point but Remus did not make a sound of any pain.

When it was all over Greyback left him there. The older werewolf finally did what he wanted to do to Remus for so long and Remus didn't even put up a fight this time.