A/N: This chapter isn't meant to be taken to be historically accurate, although there are a few parts where it is that way. Remember I'm not writing about people as nations with certain rules, I'm writing about nations as people who have all sorts of emotions! As for the rest of this note you will find more at the bottom. Thanks for taking the time to read this fanfic and I hope that you will enjoy it!


Chapter 1

Russia x China

(RoChu)

Fear coursed through Yao as his battered foot finally broke in through the damn door separating him and his secluded soviet friend. One final shove and the door broke away completely showing Yao Ivan pressing a pistol barrel to his head. The blatant fear in the man's eyes spoke volumes to Yao propelling him towards Ivan. China carefully wrestled Ivan's pointer finger free from the pistol, and he felt how close it was to completely depress the trigger, how close Ivan was to killing himself. Another second too late and Ivan would've been lost to Yao... forever...

Tears welled up in Yao's eyes as he realized how ignorant he was of Ivan's depressive state, how baka he was for misinterpreting Ivan's odd behavior for something else.

"You tai schi!" China berated himself internally, "Why? Why do I always have to realize the truth only when someone's about to leave me?! Why am I always this dense about the other people's true feeling? How did I not notice that I was constantly locking myself away from their problems so I could please the other countries? Why didn't I realize sooner that my indifference was hurting them instead?"

Yao trembled fiercely as he flung away the accursed pistol from the suicidal soviet, which rattled to a halt in a corner. Fearful, Yao grabbed hold of Ivan's freezing crimson palms with his shivering hands, hoping it would solidify Ivan's ghostly existence. Lifting his brown eyes to Ivan's bleak purple ones, Yao searched them for any sign of life or, better yet, regret. China's heart twisted painfully, as an ocean of misery slammed into Yao leaving him breathless with anguish. Beneath the sea of misery lay a mass of loneliness suffocating its host, spreading its way throughout the immense nation's emotions claiming him. Yet on the surface of those despondent eyes, Yao could see the string of questions warring amongst themselves, "Why is Yao here? Why did he discard my pistol? How did he find out I was here? Why does he care about me?" What hit Yao the most was, although, just how lifeless and asphyxiated those eyes looked, completely devoid of the tiny happy flame that danced in his sly eyes. The Soviet's countenance was the literal epitome of the saying "dead man walking". His joints hung limp with a sort of listless exhaustion, his gaunt face emphasizing his every bone, and the wan pallor in his face almost matching the color of a corpse.

Yao couldn't take the stifling deadness in Ivan anymore, as his dammed tears burst out of his eyes. They poured down Yao's face like a fierce boiling spring waterfall, echoing the unbearable ache in his heart. His hands relinquished the hold of his hands, and rearranged themselves, clutching at Ivan's albino scarf. Yao wailed into the soviet's garment, hoping, desperately hoping that maybe, just maybe, something that he cried might bring his bubbly Ivan back.

"You tai schi! Why do you want to erase your being from the world? Is living in this world that unbearable? So unbearable you want to remove your existence from everyone's lives? Shah tzu! You have no idea how wonderful and influential your existence is to the world! Without you Germany wouldn't be so motivated to achieve what he wants! Without you America wouldn't have an enemy to challenge him to new economic, diplomatic, and military heights! Without you all of the Soviet states wouldn't know what it is to be a family no matter how awful and cruel you were to them! Without you-"

Yao paused for a moment to compose himself, wiping away his salty trails on Ivan's drenched scarf before continuing softly, "Without you nobody would have someone to call their mother," A momentary spark of recognition leapt in soviet's eyes as his lips parted ready to growl something snarky in return but Yao hurried on, "Because... Because that is what you are! You are Mother Russia are you not? You either take in countries that are struggling and teach them how to stand on their own, or you push the self-capable ones to higher levels of prosperity!" Again the irritated flash flickered in Ivan's eyes and his lips slid apart to hiss back but again Yao cut it off by retorting, "Of course you might not do it the most elegant of ways but still you do help the other countries keep themselves in check! Look at Estonia with his newfound ways for technology! Before, he was just a scared child, struggling to live his life under the oppressing power of the larger countries. Now after you took him in and taught him the ways of greatness and technology, his power with technology and knowledge is unparalleled by any country! Of course it's not to say that he went off unscarred, but I think that it was worth it, seeing his recent advancements. So," Yao gently placed his hand on Ivan's gaunt cheek, staring deep into his eyes, "don't berate yourself over your actions to the point of death because… because you are Mother Russia and without you… without you all of the countries wouldn't be as successful as they are," Yao's voice slowly sank lower and lower until it petered out all together as his eyes searched deep into Ivan's eyes for some impact…

Slowly, oh ever so slowly, Ivan's palm floated upwards with a sort of ghostly quality towards his cheek where Yao's hand rested. The fingers of the spectral hand curled around them as if making sure they were truly there and not another delirious mirage. Keeping his eyes steady on Yao's, Ivan parted his lips and a reedy but melodious voice crawled out, as his eyes spoke of his voluminous pain, "They… really don't hate me?"

A bittersweet smile graced China-san's mouth as his interlaced hand pulled Ivan closer, his free hand wrapping around Ivan's back as his face came to rest in the crook of Yao's shoulder, "Of course not. I don't hate you, schi?" whispered Yao into Ivan's ear.

Ivan's embrace tightened around the tiny Chinese man, as his tears gushed through leaving behind a salty puddle on Yao's shoulder and a muffled cry. Yao's soothing voice breathed all sorts of consolatory phrases through the soviet's ear, desperately trying to alleviate Ivan's pain if only by a fraction…

Eventually when Ivan's streaming tears slowed to a trickle as his cries eased into hiccups, he lifted his head from Yao's drenched shoulder rubbing at his eyes like an innocent child. Yao's hand automatically flew up to wipe away the remaining droplets glistening on Ivan's porcelain face, carefully mumbling, "Feels good, doesn't it?"

Ivan nodded as the corner of his lips jerked up in a jiffy grin, as his scratchy baritone hacked out, "Da, feels like I'm a little child again…"

Yao let go of the breath that he'd been unconsciously holding as the five ton rocks of stress fell away from his shoulders, allowing him to breathe at last…

"I'm sorry I had to cause you so much trouble, Yao-san…" Ivan's whisper hissed seductively through China's ear, the unexpected goosebumps popping up on his arm snapped China out of his liberating reverie.

"D-don't mention it, Ivan," stumbled Yao, as his face flushed a roguish color once he realized how close Ivan's face was, "A-actually, I should be the one to apologize. I never realized that my idiotic absence would cause such pain on your behalf. If there's someone you should be angry at it would be me-"

Suddenly, China felt his body being lifted and embraced tightly as Ivan's arms surrounded his entire being. Odd chills raced down Yao's spine caused by Ivan's husky vibrations, "How could you say that if you were the one who saved me?! Without you I'd probably be lying in an ignorant oblivion of blood by now, leaving you- no… leaving everyone to drown in their guilt for not saving me from dying!" China felt a tickling sensation in his shoulder as Ivan inhaled sharply into his shoulder, then leaning back to stare at Yao with a faraway twinkle in his eyes, "You were right, Yao… My duty… isn't to create a utopia for all of the countries… It's being… It's about being someone who… motivates others to achieve success. I might not be motivating them in the best of ways… but I am motivating them in my own little way. I know now what my goal in life is, and it's to be a motivator! That is my purpose, who and what I am! I'll never lose sight of it again for I am mother Russia! I am the Russian Federation!"

Yao stared up at the newly empowered figure proclaim his true purpose in the breaking light after a violent storm, and he couldn't help but beam at him as his heart thudded proudly in his chest, and maybe from another emotion as well. Yao squished those improper thoughts away, focusing completely on the newly changed country; The Russian Federation, quietly sending out a covert prayer "Let him also not forget about his prosperity, too…"

Suddenly Russia spun around from his window as if he heard that prayer his eyes widened with surprise but then softening as he saw the tiny beaming country. Slowly yet diligently he padded over to Yao and leaned over to whisper deeply in his ear once again, "And I wouldn't have done any of this without you, my darling Yao, as much as you deny it." Yao shivered, as the goosebumps returned with full force along with an unwelcome tickle in his stomach and the Chinese man couldn't help himself as he turned his head to gaze at Ivan's eyes. Suddenly Yao found his lips caught in Ivan's for Ivan seemed to have the same idea as him. Yao's eyes widened at their accidental kiss and he shamefully turned his face away, guilty that he would take advantage of Ivan that way as he blushed as crimson as his flag.

"Yao…" Yao heard Ivan whisper in that deep Russian voice of his, but he continued to stare at the floor wondering ashamedly what he should say, "Yao," Ivan persisted, taking his jaw into his fingers forcing him to look at the Russian. Ivan's iridescent purple eyes were filled with grief when they met China's, and Ivan's lips barely uttered the three words, "…Я люблю тебя…"

The whole world stopped in Ivan's eyes, as he breathlessly waited for Yao's answer to such a confession, hoping, praying for the best. When Yao didn't provide any answer or statement, Ivan prompted him again as he asked the obvious question, "А ты любишь меня?"

Yao was knocked speechless and thoughtless with the first confession clueless how to respond to such feelings. But as Yao's thoughts returned he realized that though wasn't usually a cliché romantic, he would do anything for Ivan, so he could live on. So when Ivan asked the monumental question, Yao let his emotions go as he reached up to press his lips to the Russian's, leaving behind a promising whisper.

"Wo ai ni ie

Baka…"


Translations

tai schi – Idiot

Shah tzu – God

Schi – right

Wo ai ni ie – I love you

Baka - stupid

Я люблю тебя – I love you

А ты любишь меня? – Do you love me?


A/N: I am so so so so so so so so so etc... so sorry that I haven't updated this fanfic in like forever! My only lame and pathetic excuse is only that I have been busy like nobody has seen before because [WARNING HUGE RANT AHEAD!] not only do I have to look for colleges that I would like to apply to, but I also have to go to every sport practice/match which are until 5 or 7 pm every day, and I have to do my school work too in between all of this, and cater to my mom's every need to get a sufficient income... [END OF HUGE RANT!]

So as you can see I have been extremely busy the past few days but thankfully school is ending in 4 days or so and then I'll have so much more free time to write write write those requests for Russia pairings! Oh, and although I do have a lengthy list of requests, I'm still taking them so if you have a Hetalia character you'd like me to pair up with Russia just PM me and I'll try and write that pairing to the best of my ability!

Anyways, THANK YOU SO MUCH for sticking with me through these long difficult chapter hiatus's, you have no idea how much those favorites, follows and especially reviews mean to me. Please keep writing those reviews (preferably with constructive criticism but anything is fine, too) because they help build my confidence and helps my inner editor learn and flourish into a better writer.

Once again, THANK YO SO MUCH for viewing, reviewing, favoriting, and following my story! It really means a lot to me!

TACKLE GLOMPS YOU!