Hey everyone! Here's the next chapter. I'm hoping that, while this probably isn't exciting, it at least raises some questions. Reviews make it a lot easier to improve on my characterizations! As those are definitely what I'm unsure of.

As stated before, Homestuck and all of its characters belong to Andrew Hussie.


Your name is Dave Strider, and you have just picked yourself up off the floor and removed a pair of prescription glasses from your face? What is even going on? Your Bro pranks you occasionally, but it usually involves more smuppets, and is way more ironic. Unless the levels of irony here are so layered that you can't even parse out the ironic core. Yeah, that's gotta be it. You remove the ridiculous hipster frames and look for those awful shades that Egbert got you. They're from one of his lame actors that he likes (Ben Stiller, you recall, but you'd never admit to even knowing who he is), and the irony of wearing them outweighs how lame they are. You flash step across the room, deftly avoiding the mess of cables, retrieve your shades from your cinder block desk, and shield your scarlet eyes with them. The act of getting to your desk has brought you face-to-face with your computer, and you decide to log into Pesterchum. Your friends are probably missing you anyways; everyone could use a little Strider in their lives, but only a select few are truly worthy.

You log into Pesterchum, and notice several lines of bright green text from a certain Jade Harley. If you weren't a Strider, you'd probably smile to yourself. Harley is a cool chick, after all, and while you'd never admit it, her enthusiasm really brightens your day. But, you gotta maintain the Strider cool. You can do that and respond to her message, even though she's offline.

- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] at 11:43 -

TG: whoa whoa whoa there harley

TG: slow down the emotional steamroller

TG: youll flatten this strider with them

TG: make a touchy feely pancake out of me

TG: sorry i missed your message though

TG: you know how it is. schedule of a cool kid is right demanding like someone who burnt themself on a cup of mcdonalds coffee and is suing because they couldnt read the warning label

TG: i cant believe you still have that devilbeast

TG: anyways harley

TG: maybe youll be lucky enough to catch me online sometime and bask in some of this strider glory

TG: im going to go harass lalonde

TG: later

- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] at 11:50 -

You had to agree with Jade on the strangeness of this whole Pesterchum situation. She had been online little more than an hour ago, by your Pesterchum's internal clock. And you hadn't noticed John or Rose online lately, either. You figure you'd best pester the other two, as well. Check and make sure they're alive, at least. They'll get back to you whenever they're online.

- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 11:52 -

TG: hey lalonde

TG: sup

TG: you havent been around in a while

TG: not that ive really missed your crazy horrorterror therapy

TG: or wizard porn

TG: nope this strider is way too cool to be missing some crazy bitch

TG: i was just feeling generous and figured id message you

TG: because youre probably feeling a little down without a bit of strider in your life

TG: need me to mix things up with some sick beats and rude rhymes

TG: right

TG: still not there

TG: anyways you can get back to me whenever

TG: im gonna see what egderp is up to

- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 11:57 -

Rose, despite her need to psychoanalyze everything you do, and give it some sort of homoerotic spin, is actually pretty cool. She is an unparalleled verbal sparring partner, though you'd never tell her you enjoy talking to her. Can't be going and having feelings everywhere like some kind of Harley-puppy dog mutation or anything. While you're musing over Rose, a slight movement catches the corner of your eye. You turn your head slightly to the left, and are greeted with that shit-eating clown grin of Lil' Cal's. When did that get there? No Strider would ever admit to being unnerved, or show any sign of it, but it's a good thing your shades hid the slight widening of your eyes. You could never figure out why Bro loved that damn puppet so much. You return your gaze to the computer screen, and open up a chat to begin pestering John.

- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 12:02 -

TG: sup egderp

TG: you know youre really failing at maintaining the best bro designation

TG: which i might add is a position of honor

TG: even a cool dude like me could use his best bro around every now and then

TG: i havent even been able to test any of my new beats on harley or lalonde either

TG: you guys are all mia

TG: its like some kind of crazy conspiracy

TG: serious mission impossible shit going on here

TG: anyways im going to go keep working on my current masterpiece

TG: drop some beats bust some rhymes like it aint no thing

TG: later

- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 12:07 -

You almost shake your head, thinking of the ridiculous antics your best bro gets up to. He's probably pulling some prank, or freeing the world of another pesky pastry. Even though he hasn't been around in a while, he's really a great friend. Damn dude is freaking positive about everything, he must be related to Harley or something. He also has the proper respect for a master wordsmith such as yourself. You sign out of Pesterchum, get up, and make your way to your turntables. Might as well do as you said, drop some beats and bust some rhymes like it ain't no thing. There's really no better way to kill some time, and your Bro hasn't shown up yet for a strife session. Might as well make the best of your current solitude.


Again, many thanks for reading! I'd like to reiterate that this is my first Homestuck fanfiction, and I'd love reviews to make sure I'm getting the characters right. Or really anything at all. But I'm grateful for anyone who has read this, and for those who are following the story. I'm hoping to have the next chapter up in a week or so, but that will depend on how things go with my personal life. Next chapter will be from John's POV, so any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Edit: I was reading through this before starting the next chapter and noticed some typos/words that didn't belong, so I cleaned it up a bit.