A/N: To kind of answer a guest reviewer (Thanks by the way!) Sheogorath will appear a couple more chapters into the story. I would've added him earlier if other chapters weren't already written, but hopefully it'll be worth the wait. ;)


DAMN YOU, MOTHER! DAMN YOU TO OBLIVION!

Why!? Why do you insist on keeping secrets from me?! I thought we were closer than anything, that we promised to keep nothing from each other. But now - but now this! After all I've done for you and you couldn't trust me with one simple statement.

You must have known from the beginning, too. I know you mother, and you know everything about me, but when I'd ask about the others you'd shake your head, respond oh so prudently... So? Is this why you estranged us from them?! The reason why you never let father take me away?! The reason all that we've been through was put into fruition?!

All this time, did you know I was Dragonborn?

...I'm sorry, mother. I didn't mean to berate you like that, but things could have been different for us had I known. I could have perhaps went up to High Hrothgar and - though it would take many years - learned with these Greybeards. Hone my abilities as needed in order to take our revenge.

Could you imagine it, mother? It'd be like a bard's tale. How befitting it would have all been if Lucien Lachance, who fancied his own voice superior to others, be torn asunder by the power of a dragon's shout! And the Night Mother, who's sacred words could indirectly shatter countless souls - what could she have done in her cursed crypt if I shattered her very being with words more ancient than her?

As much as it pains me, that chance is buried in the sands of centuries.

But we will get another.

It seems I have rose to fame in Whiterun; my name has spread like wildfire since I had slain the dragon, amplified by the sheer number of people passing through the city. I've been donned a Thane by the Jarl for my defeat of the beast along with other small deeds for his court and his people, even giving me a Housecarl that would protect my life with her dying breath. Hah! Nine know she'll be testing that oath. With this notoriety, it is only a matter of time before they know.


Gess wat I saw tuday, mommy! I wus owtside piking flowers for yu and I saw a man on the roade. A marry man! Jesturr! I no yu told me not tew talk tew strangers but he wus walking up tew me wen I saw him. His name wus Seesseero... Sissiro. Cissero? Cis - Cicero? He wus from ceerodill. I LOVE the jesturrs from ceerodill! He wus funny, too. He wus THIS short and he had a weerd voise and he dansed and clapt and sung. He made me laff just like the other Ceerodill jesturs did. I also helpt him by makeing the man up the hill fix his wagon weel. It wus the nice thing tu do I think. He sed he wus takeing his mommy tu anuther crypt wen it broke. I woodent want anyone to not help YOU, mommy.


Sometimes I wish the dark had erased me,

and made me forget all that depraved me

Because I'm looking out at the city,

and thinking of everything I simply can't be

Sometimes at night I'd wish all away,

to think of a quiet life to live for a day

But always within me their grasp will stay,

even if in death I lay


Ha! I knew it, mother! I knew something would abound if I went into the Reach! This region teems with dangers around every turn. Sabre cats, bears and wolves, steep inclines and rushing rivers - there are even tribes of savage and unhinged men they call the Forsworn native only to this expanse. It's only natural such wilds would bring about a Dark Brotherhood assassin.

Ah, how I've been longing for their blood on my hands!

They had emerged at the brink of dusk, waiting for me along the road. Right there! And they thought I couldn't see them? Tch. Their agility might have been competent but their recklessness was their folly; now they're impaled on a rock. I found a note on them, from someone named Astrid, who ordered for my death. What did I tell you mother? This was bound to happen and we both knew it. I have to wonder if they remember my name? If the story of my betrayal has resounded across two centuries? And how they must've twisted it through the years?

But what matters from this encounter is that I am aware, and they've revealed themselves; I know now that they still exist, skulking in the shadows, waiting to strike me down.

So let them come.

I'll sever a dozen of their heads before Astrid gets her wishes.


A/N: This has to be my personal favorite chapter of those I've written so far, and perhaps one of the best of this story in general. I think it's the closest I've gotten to Mathieu's actual diary in terms of style and voice - while of course adding newer bits of character. I hope you liked reading this just as I did writing! As always, thank you, and perhaps I'll see you next chapter?