A Grief That Can't Be Spoken

2 - An Empty Chair At Our Table

A/N: If you don't already know I ship Courfeyrac/Combeferre/Jehan which is why it will pop up sometimes.

~~::.::~~

There's only one empty chair in their usual corner of the Musain, but that's all it takes. The whole back room is blanketed in a deathly hush, voices speaking only in gentle whispers. Everyone skirts the vicinity of the chair, but no-one's eyes can leave it; it suddenly becomes the centre of the room, the focus point around which they all slowly circle. It's been a week since the funeral – a sombre affair, with the exception of Courfeyrac's livid outburst when he'd spotted Marius' grandfather – and their first formal meeting since the rally, although they are not getting much done. Usually they have one formal meeting a week, with various casual gatherings between, but everyone has been away and dealing with their grief in their own ways.

Courfeyrac is probably the hardest hit – he was the closest of them to Marius, having known him for three years previous to his association with the group, since he had taken him in after he had been thrown out and disowned by his grandfather. He hasn't returned to their apartment since he went to collect some of his things before the funeral; Courfeyrac has always, always hated being alone, and he'd been living with Marius in their shared apartment for almost five years, and for it to suddenly be empty is too much for him, so since then he's been living with Combeferre and Enjolras, and Jehan has managed to squeeze in there too. Courfeyrac is in Combeferre's shirt and trousers, both just slightly too big, with one of Jehan's huge floral monstrosities of a jumper, and he's slumped in his usual chair with his eyes fixed on Marius' empty place. Jehan is hovering at his shoulder, but Courfeyrac barely acknowledges him; he's silent, and still, and cold, and it's so horribly out of character and wrong that everyone feels all the more thrown off-kilter and out of balance because of it.

Combeferre is sat next to Enjolras, who is staring off into the middle distance, like he has been a lot recently. The most worrying thing, though – because Enjolras stares off into empty space a lot anyway – is that he hasn't seen the blonde planning any new rallies; no leaflets, no documents, no speeches. Enjolras is either buried in schoolwork or silent and still and looking at nothing, and it's unnerving. He sometimes looks at Courfeyrac – poor, broken Courfeyrac – and there are apologies in his gaze and Combeferre knows, really, why Enjolras has retreated into his schoolwork and his mind. He blames himself, and he worries for the rest of his friends. Enjolras loves them all so deeply, even cynical Grantaire and naive Marius, and for him to have lost one of them has affected him deeply. Combeferre might be tempted to assure him with quiet murmurs of "it's not your fault" if he thought it would really do much. But he knows it won't, so he just sits beside his friend, and if Enjolras' hand finds its way onto his knee and grips it tightly he doesn't mention it, only covering the hand with his own in a confirmation of solidarity.

Eponine hasn't come in to serve them like she usually would, and they think she's probably not working at the moment anyway. From what little they've heard, she's with Cosette and Grantaire, who has somehow become a pillar of support for the girls. Musichetta joins them occasionally, and when Bossuet relays the information she tells them, he says that Cosette spends most of her time wrapped up in Eponine's arms, who is in turn being coddled by Grantaire, and Musichetta is there to make sure they all remember to eat properly, because as much as Grantaire tries he's nowhere near as good a cook as Musichetta. The girls are red-eyed, and there's obviously been a lot of tears shed and more still to come, but they're strong and they'll pull through, Musichetta is sure of that. They have each other, and that means they're not alone.

Joly is finally allowed back into the hospital, so he's thrown himself heavily into work there. Bossuet worries that he's trying to make up for his perceived failure with Marius, because he knows Joly, and Joly will not stop until he has worked himself to the bone and made himself ill, and even then he'll try and continue. His anxiety has only worsened, and he's started pulling his hair like he used to during exam periods as a teenager, and it's showing in little bald patches at his temple. Bossuet spends a lot of time wrapped tightly around Joly, murmuring quietly into his ear, holding his hands to keep them from pulling his hair out or worrying the threads on his clothing. The group can tell by the deep bags under both their eyes that sleep does not come easily to them.

Even those who were not particularly close to Marius, even those who hold no ounce of responsibility whatsoever, are affected. Bahorel is scowling constantly and is looking more beat-up than usual, and they have seen him punch walls and kick furniture for seemingly no reason. Feuilly's chain-smoking habit has increased. Jehan is obviously being affected by the change in Courfeyrac, looking even more melancholy than usual – although he was often given to bouts of it before, now it seems almost permanent – and even, occasionally, lashing out. He's become fiercely protective of Courfeyrac and so everyone tiptoes around him for fear of somehow provoking a flurry of sharp words and the occasional fist; Enjolras had, at some point, attempted to express apologies to Courfeyrac, which resulted in a deeply upset Courfeyrac and Jehan's fist in Enjolras' face. They haven't seen much of Grantaire, as he spends most of his time with the girls, but when they do they see how the responsibility of being the strong one, for once, is wearing him down. If he comes in the day, he drinks Irish coffee, strong in both respects, and he shakes almost violently – the few times they've seen him of an evening, he's out cold, or well on his way. Combeferre, when he is not by Enjolras' side, or Courfeyrac's – which, between them, is not a lot of time – is still his quiet, reserved self, but even he seems more sombre than usual.

It's going to be strange for a long time, they know. Losing a member of a group as tight-knit as theirs – and the youngest and newest as well, the one that somehow they all felt a responsibility to, to protect – is so, so hard, on every single one of them. At this moment, it seems very hard, and almost wrong, to imagine that they could recover from this – that maybe Courfeyrac will be able to smile brightly again, that Enjolras' fervour will return full-force, that Eponine will return to her feisty self and even Cosette will likely return – and so they don't. They skirt around the empty chair, and stare, as if looking long enough will make them accept that Marius is not there and will not return.

~~::.::~~

A/N: So, the backwards thing working out so far? I hope so. That's probably about all you need to know, so I'll see you tomorrow with Chapter 3.