Zim relocated after graduation and put up roots elsewhere just wishing to avoid the Dib-stink for the rest of his life along with that town. Zim was discovered, but instead of being dissected and put on for private study, they felt that they can use something as leverage since he possessed a certain mindset. The mindset that came from being an ex-Invader. The mindset of not caring about others. Who cares if his disguise sucked? Their words, not his own. They thought that since he had natural talents they would use him as a government assassin. Something he did for a long time till they felt it was fine for him to be on his own, especially when he wasn't happy to be on a leash anymore. So one day he was placed in a network. A highly secured network where no one knew your name or any personal details about you except your talents and your rate per job. To him it was a good living. To him he got to get rid of as many flesh creatures as possible. He never encountered anyone he knew, until tonight.

Gaz.

It was a surprise to see her there, but not so much of a surprise she would be in this line of work. She always had that knack of getting in and out of places without raising suspicion. Though he had no clue what happened to make her disappear. Yes there were rumors of the salacious nature. Something that even he knew she wasn't capable of. Someone who hated bodily contact does not invite that stuff on her. Dib was always quiet on the subject. Not like he cared to ask. He actually never cared to ask. Sure out of anyone on Earth, she was the only one he actually respected enough, but maybe that respect shown through when he didn't want to impede in her privacy when she wasn't there. Who knows? He just thought it funny that from that day on when she vanished that their own father omitted he had a daughter and only referred to, Dib as his, "One and only offspring."

Asking the Computer if any money has been transferred into his account recently, the answer was yes along with the new current balance making him almost trip over. Gaz was good on her word. Though that meant she really truly hated that human she killed tonight.

Never be on her bad side.

Going on the computer himself, he decided to do his side job for a while. As the government guys said that you must have a good cover job at all times in order to evade detection. Well duh. You had to do that as an Invader.

"Sir, new job coming in." The Computer announced.

Telling him to place it on the screen, he studied the file along with the picture. "Has this been sent to anyone else yet?"

"Unsure. Why?"

"Because the job I went on tonight there was another there. I let her do the job, and she gave me her money. I just want to know to avoid embarrassment."

Double checking, the Computer came up saying no, before wondering, "Who was the girl?"

"The Dib-stink's sister. She is an assassin. I know the name she goes by, she is at the top of the list."

"Not surprised. She is the devil in disguise it seems." The Computer stated.

Zim had no clue about that given the few nice things she said to him, but as he glanced over the file in front of him to tell him to send an affirmative to the employer, he leaned back in his seat. "Do you think I have a large package?"

"Excuse me, Sir?"

"Penis size. Do you think I do?"

Almost frying his processor out with that question, the Computer stuttered, "Why in the hell would you ask me that?"

"Well in order to stop the advancements of a smelly pig, Gaz said I had an amazing package. Though she never seen it."

"Sir, that just means she wanted him away from her. You have been on this planet long enough to know better. Perhaps you should start integrating yourself more into humans lives just to avoid these questions to me. They are uncomfortable."

Shrugging, Zim decided to continue his side job for the rest of the time.


The next few days was him casing his mark always hating it when they were in large apartment buildings. Of course his own business was out of question. Deciding to ditch guns this time, he went with poison, just like little Gaz did. Between work and home he noticed the male had too much love of stopping by a disgusting bar to indulge in dirty looking women in the alleyway. Sighing, he placed on an entirely different disguise with the help of his hologram generator before heading to the seedy bar.

Already seated, Zim waited at the bar where the tall male came in to sit right next to him. Zim, not wishing to indulge in any alcohol at the present time, but just the nachos and a virgin mixed drink, he grunted out as the mark asked for some whiskey before a blonde woman with a tight red dress came to his side.

"Missed you, Donny. We gonna play after you drink that down?" Her nasally voice asked him.

"Hell yeah. Once I put this down me I'll be putting me in you." Laughing as if he said the most cleverest thing, he kissed her making lots of sucking sounds.

Nauseated and very happy that no one was paying attention, he quickly dropped the poison in his drink, and went about finishing his own drink.

"Oh you are not only sexy, but oh soooooo funny." The girl spoke out. "Hey can I have a little sip?"

Taking a swig of the whiskey, he handed the drink over to her. "With what you do for me, sure."

Two idiots for the price of one tonight, Zim thought. Pity he was only being paid for one though.

Soon the empty glass slammed down next to him before dumb and dumber got up to stumble outside out the back door. Zim did a mental countdown before paying the bartender and leaving out the front. Stepping outside, Zim looked up into the sky before turning in the direction of the alley where he heard the sounds of grunting from both those idiots before he heard the girl calling out his name in fear. Checking his surroundings, Zim went down the alley to find the girl starting to have a hard time breathing as the male was already foaming at the mouth.

Looking back to Zim, the girl was gasping. "He stopped breathing and I don't know what is happening to me. Please help me."

Zim smiled at her. There was no help for her because as soon as she spoke those last words, foam came out of her mouth as spasms hit her body before she stopped breathing. First he made sure they stopped breathing before lifting his phone up to take a picture to send it. Hearing someone inside, he activated his pak legs to climb the building to get to the roof. In the background he heard the unmistakable sound of screaming.

"Good evening, Zim. What can I get you tonight?"

Glancing up from his table, he saw Maggie smiling down at him. "Can I try one of those Cadillac things?"

"Yep. Anything else?"

"Something nacho related without any meat on it." He replied.

Looking him up and down, she winked at him. "You got it, cutie."

Zim scanned the establishment at least pleased that this place was far more cleaner than any other he has ever been inside. Even the people, with the exception of the guy that was flirting with Gaz, were not so scuzzy. Still, they were filthy humans. Zim glanced over at the television to see it was just news on and the music playing wasn't obnoxious. As he did his observations his order was placed down in front of him.

"I hope you enjoy it, Zim." Giving him another wink, she went on her way to handle other customers.

One thing he wasn't accustomed to was humans doing that like she was doing with him. He knew he wasn't their type on this filthy rock even though Gir showed him writings of human females having sexual fantasies with aliens that turned his squeedly spooch inside out. Though he knew that one day he couldn't keep living under a stupid rock.

After a half hour, Maggie came back which made him laugh internally because he wouldn't of recognized her unless she gave him that dopey look on her face along with that smile. Every time she left, he couldn't remember her eye color or hair color, though still looking at her right now he was having a hard time remembering it as he stared at her.

"I guess it is a good thing that, Lace brought a new patron in here, because I have someone new to talk to." She said.

"It is far more cleaner than any other place I've been in."

Nodding, she took it upon herself to sit across from him. "Also out of any place I have worked in it is far better. Been a waitress so long. I just don't know what I want to do with myself."

Zim almost scoffed at her, but kept it to herself. "I guess no, Lacey tonight then."

"Naw. Lacey is more of a homebody. That I can tell off the bat. I mean I know she don't have no boyfriend or lover. Though she never spoke too much of her private life even though she almost decked me for not taking a no for an answer when I wanted to fix her up."

Why is this girl staring at me like a piece of meat? Zim wondered. Also in the subject of her being fixed up or having her private life on display, Zim knew her temperaments well on never to press her.

Resting her chin on her hand, she smiled at him. "You are seriously cute, Zim. I know I don't know you, but you are."

"Yes, for a guy with a skin condition and no ears or nose, yeah, I'm cute." Zim mockingly said to her.

Rolling her eyes at him, she giggled. "That is nothing. Last guy I was with had his ears burned off and his skin is discolored. I looked past it. You gotta."

What on Irk does she want with him? Zim thought while he studied her.

"Zim, I'm curious, do you mind walking me home? Normally Eddie does it, but since he called in sick I need a walk home."

"I don't know..."

Pouting, she leaned back. "Pleassssseeeeeee."

Zim gave her an odd look at that whiney begging. He should open himself up to new experiences, and if she irritated him too badly he'll just kill her. "Ugh, fine. When do you get off?"

"Actually now." Looking at his empty glass and plate, she instantly got up. "Do you want another drink before leaving? It will be on me? Maybe a shot."

"Yeah sure." Even though he wasn't a lightweight, he still needed to try to numb himself over stupid.

An hour later after a couple of shots in him, he was half way to her apartment walking her as she prattled on about the most useless things. Zim pretended to feign some interest while toying with his blade in his side pocket. Oh how he would love to slit her neck right now even if he stumbled a little into her making her laugh more. The thing he didn't understand was how he ended up in her place. Did she drug him? She was in front of him with music lightly playing as she danced around to the point she was on his lap making odd movements with her, whatever her haircolor was, as it brushed against him.

Stuff he didn't know was how things shifted too fast where he was laying in bed with her in a darkened room with her on top of his naked body. His eyes blinked up at her. All he can hear is her heavy breathing and grunting like a pig before she cried out and laid down on her bed.

"So big, cutie." She murmured in self satisfaction.

Did he just do something disgusting with this unintelligent female? Angry and confused, he made an excuse saying he had work in the morning. The girl complained of course for a few minutes till he heard her snoring like a pig.

"Eh." Sneering down at her, he gathered his clothes and left that horrid place as soon as possible.

The very moment he came home, he ran to the bathroom to take a chalk bath telling the Computer to incinerate his clothing right away before laying in his bed with his arms wrapped around himself still feeling filthy.

"Oh that horrible filthy Earth woman! She soiled the mighty Zim!" He barked out as he covered his head over with a pillow.

All night long he wanted to think happy thoughts. Just happy thoughts.


Yeah yeah I know Zim's age and the possibility of him having sex, but seriously in his standing as a former Invader he wasn't allowed to have sex. Also since he views Earthlings as filthy, you think he would of had sex still? Nah.