Chapter One:

The Days Following


Immediately following Rebirth of the Light


There should have been music.

There should have been a choir singing some heavenly song, bright, white light spilling in from somewhere. The sound of children giggling, or a trumpet's golden horn playing. An angel should have descended down from the ceiling and spoken some soft but heavenly words, touched his mask and all the Darkness would melt away.

None of this happened, however.

But it didn't matter. Vader, formerly a Dark Lord of the Sith, a servant of the Emperor Palpatine, knelt humbly on the floor in a little cottage with a baby wrapped in his arms.

His baby. His son.

"Luke."

The child, only an hour old, cooed at the sound of his father's voice and little blue eyes opened to stare with wonder up at Vader.

Who needed heaven, or angels singing or any other miracle, when he held this child, or his daughter, little Leia, in his arms? They, all on their own, without even knowing it, had changed the fate of the galaxy, simply by being born.

Bending his head down, Vader smiled softy as he whispered to the child.

"I love you, son."

Love. . .

They were words he had thought, only an hour or so ago, that he would never say again. But then, he never thought he would see his Padme again. Would ever be at peace with his best friend Obi-wan. Or that he might ever speak his name, Anakin, again in this life without the foul bile rising up and choking him, reminding him of the past and all that had come between him and those that he loved.

There it was again. That wonderful, terrifying, intoxicating word.

But words were so useless. They could trick, could be twisted, or could fail to explain this burning emotion that now raged inside him.

Where was the hate? The anger, the rage and the fear?

He had traded them, as if he had handed over the identity of Darth Vader for that of Anakin Skywalker, renewing who he was and the way he saw the world.

So deep was Vader – Anakin – in these thoughts, that he did not hear Padme's voice speaking to him till her small, delicate hand came to rest upon his board shoulder and shake him quite soundly.

"Hmmm? What?"

His wife, his angel, all glowing with the wonders of motherhood, laughed. "Oh, Ani." She chided. "Where had you gone this time?"

Careful of the babe in his arms, of Luke nestled up against him and Leia in her mother's arms, Anakin stretched out his hand and brushed the curls away from Padme's face. "Not far, my love. Not far. I'm still here. Here to stay, now. I promise."

Content with that, Padme nodded, then motioned for him to give her Luke. "He needs to be fed." Winking, she took the child from her husband. "I think the three of us need a little time alone together. To rest and to be close. Will you give me that, Ani?"

"Anything for you."

But despite this claim, Anakin felt hollow as Luke was taken from his arms and he stood to leave the room. Leave?! But he had only been with them an hour! One hour, when he had not seen Padme in nearly a year. An hour, in which his life had been returned to him.

But he had to be understanding.

He stood, despite the stiffness in his mechanical legs from sitting so long, and moved to the door. If he noticed the spirit of an old Jedi Master standing there, he was in too great a wonder to comment on it.

Hoping for fresh air, even though he knew the idea was strange, Anakin left the cottage and went to stand outside, under the oak trees, and gather his thoughts.

It was like he was awake in a dream.

Could all this be real?

He shuddered to think he might wake from this, only to find himself back in the darkness of the Imperial Throne world. All of this could just be fading images and the voices nothing more than the longings of some deranged mind, driven to madness by intolerable loss and sinister crimes.

"Anakin?"

Smiling even though it hurt the scarred skin on his face, Anakin turned to find Obi-wan coming out of the cottage towards him. There was that same, hesitant smile on his friend's face.

The Jedi stopped a meter or two away and waited. "Can I. . .join you?"

Nodding, Vader sat himself carefully down onto the grass; Kenobi moved to sit across from him. They stared at each other for a long, long moment.

"Thank you," Anakin said at last, uncomfortable with the silence, "for allowing me to stay. And for letting me hold Leia, and then Luke." Obi-wan smiled warmly, but only for a moment, then they lapsed back into the strange silence, where tension, and the fear of saying the wrong thing, held their tongues.

A bird called overhead, there was the soft cry of a child inside and both men shifted uncomfortably.

At last, Obi-wan sighed and ran a hand through his hair, which only now Anakin realized was showing signs of gray. Had he been the cause of that?

"It shouldn't be like this between us, Anakin." The Jedi Master sighed in frustration, more at himself than his former apprentice. "Nothing is going to change between us, nothing will get better, if we keep letting the past stand in the way. I thought we had set that behind us, you and I. Forgiven each other for what happened."

"What do you want me to do?" Anakin asked solemnly. "Just forget that it ever happened? Just ignore the past two years and how they have shaped who I have become?"

"Do you like what you have become?"

All things considered, including this conversation, the answer to that was obvious. "No. I have even asked for your help to change. But these things did happen, Obi-wan. And that won't change by forgetting the memories of those things."

The Jedi Master, looking more and more sad, nodded. "I know, Anakin. I know. But we have to overcome those things. To heal."

To heal. . .

A part of Vader whispered in his mind that he didn't need to heal, that if he and Obi-wan renewed their friendship, overcame the past, he would be a weak, pathetic Jedi all over again. That he wasn't meant for love, but power. That he should just get up, take his family with him and go back to the Empire where he belonged.

The part of him that was terrified of loosing Padme, his twins, and even Obi-wan silenced that ominous voice. Anakin found himself smiling again, stupidly this time.

"Do you remember the time I borrowed one of the master's swoops and entered that race in the lower levels? And crashed?"

Caught off guard, Obi-wan nodded, sensing the other's good mood. "Yes."

"I ended it up with a broken leg, a dislocated elbow, and a concussion that knocked out my Force senses for nearly two weeks. You and the masters suspended me from any and all flying vehicles for months, and we had to cancel a mission. Do you remember that?"

"Yeah. . ." Obi-wan felt his own lips starting to curl at the memory.

"This," Anakin assured him, "is going to be a lot easier to deal with."

Laughter, strange after so long, choked Anakin and he had to struggle to draw breath while Obi-wan clutched his own side and chuckled with mirth. His master, his old friend was laughing.

When they both had regained control, which took some time for both Jedi and Sith, Obi-wan wiped a tear from his eyes and brew out a breath. "I had forgotten about that time. I believe there were many similar incidents."

"Yes, but none with the injuries as extensive as this."

Obi-wan fell silent at that, his eyes sweeping over the armor, the mask that encased what was left of Anakin Skywalker. He could only imagine the surgery it had taken, the days and nights of bacta dips his friend had undergone.

"Was all of this. . .all of this because of. . .of that day. . .on Mustafar?"

Anakin shuddered.

"No, not all of it. I lost this arm back on Genonosis, in the fight with Dooku, you know. The rest. . ." Anakin looked terribly uncomfortable, "The Darkside. . .it does things to a person's body when they use it for an extended period of time."

He didn't say anything more than that, and he really didn't have to. Obi- wan nodded, recalling all the things he had learned about the Darkness, in both his Jedi training and the past few years.

"Anakin. what happened that day - Force. You have no idea how much I wish I could go back and change it. I – I can't tell you how terrified I was when you when - "

"I know, Obi-wan." Anakin half-whispered, a part of him terrified. "I remember. But . . .it-it wasn't your fault. It was mine. Like a fool, I believed what the Darkness told me and I blamed you for everything that happened. I'm so sorry, Master. For everything. For the Jedi and-" Seeing the shadow fall over Kenobi's face then, Vader choked on his words. "Force, Obi-wan." He fell silent then, unable to find words.

"You know," the Jedi finally said, looking away, "when you walked into that room, saber drawn, I thought. . . I thought you might really go as far as to kill those children. . ."

Behind the mask, Anakin's eyes blazed with fury. But he quickly squashed it, guilt rising in its place. Obi-wan had every right to think he might have caused his children harm. He had watched as his best friend had cut down the Jedi, Kenobi's family. Had seen a younger, angry Skywalker beat his wife.

To think he had once been that monster. . .that he still was, in many ways. . .

"But," Obi-wan continued, "I was wrong. And I'm sorry."

"Not as sorry as I am. For everything."

Another awkward silence followed. Obi-wan stood slowly and offered the Dark Lord his hand. Vader looked at it, and after a long moment's hesitation, took hold and rose.

"So much I wanted to say," Obi-wan ran an unsteady hand through his hair. "And now I. . . I guess I just never thought I'd actually get the chance to tell you what happened that day."

Shrugging, Anakin looked to the cottage. "You planning on leaving?"

"No."

"Then we've got time to figure it out."

Obi-wan's head jerked up; he looked surprised to find Vader would be willing to ever discuss what had happened to them that day ever again. Anakin smiled, shrugged, and turned back to the house.

"You promised you'd help me change." His old apprentice reminded him. "And like you said, change comes with healing."

"Well, you never know. I might just be right about something for once." The Jedi joked.

"Don't push your luck, Kenobi." Anakin's deep voice replied over his shoulder, heading back into the little cottage. He could hear Padme talking to the twins inside. Despite her request, the Sith felt a growing need to be with his family again, even after such a short period of time.

"Luck?" Obi-wan asked after him, now completely alone outside. "There's no such thing as luck! Just the Force. I've got proof." He muttered to himself, "It brought you back to us, didn't it?"


Chapter One To Be Continued

Caslia :D